'Parents are just people who

can often manage to mess things up. But children don't come with a user's manual either'

That quote comes from a very old friend of mine, and landed in my in-box last evening.

We lost sight of one another decades ago. And only recently began conversing again, which was very nice.

He felt constricted, as I did, but took a lot longer to get out of my home town. And came to Europe, so there are parallels there.

He's a gifted photographer and singer, and once away, promptly sired five children at an age when the young and the reckless usually become grandparents.

But those two sentences reminded me of how special he is. Succinct, to the point, and it rings true. It delighted me, to tell the truth....

And on that note... demand a user's manual for every child, unless you are wise....

And after THAT ram-page....

We are back to health care. Oh, you can yawn all you wish, I know...

My GP is going to New Yawk for a week on Sunday. And I had to get my prescription for my blood pressure filled beforehand, because the pills will be used up before he gets back.

And having been his 'unreliable, recalitrant' patient, he is not always thrilled to see me. He wants me to fill out my blood pressure tables on little cards. I do NOT. I do not let myself be terrorised by any ONE or any THING. I take it now and again, and think, 'oh well...'

And carry on, you know?

So I hadn't really talked to him in about half a year, just drop by, get my prescription and skedaddle out of there.

So today we 'talked'. And I found an amazing gaffe....

I mentioned my asthma. He said, 'I sent you to Dr. Wagner in August! You just went NOW???' '

And I said, no, I had gone straight away, had to wait a few days for an appointment, but was there.

She was supposed to have sent him the diagnosis, and what she prescribed. It bothered him.

Your GP sends you to specialists, and THEY are supposed to send their findings to the referring doctor, so he knows what the hell he should and can prescribe so it doesn't fuck up whatever the other ones gave you for medicine.

(Mixing your meds can be fatal, you know?)

I also told him about my horrible diagnosis this past Tuesday, and what came of that, and why I left the clinic.

And he told me to get my sorry old arse back there, if not in those terms. ASAP.

So, being 'cheerful', I asked what the worst was if the vein explodes.

And he said, 'You will be blind.'

The 'crows' are gone at least. For two weeks, I have had a thing in my left eye, looks like a swarm of crows way up in the sky.... except, if I moved it and looked up, they were still there.... It is very hard to explain.

Well, that hasn't happened yet, so I guess I should be 'thankful'.

Bottom line?

Single payer health care is something good, not 'socialist'. Some people take advantage, to the detriment of those who pay in. Les malades imaginères. Others, like me, make a sign of the cross and make sure they go to the other side of the street if they see a doctor out there.

The rest are just thankful that they get help when they need it.

It all sort of balances out, monetarily....

I swear... I am not being an asshole about this, or have some sort of axe to grind. And I did NOT want to get into my issues, or how I feel, or anything of the sort.

It is about what is good for everyone. I don't going about preaching.

It was about being a stubborn, recalcitrant person with a horror of hospitals, or anything that resembles them.

And to let you know... the system works, and that very well...

So.... Disney has a new heroine, and ....

The hype just drove me crazy. 'It's so ground-breaking', so I dunno...

I've written a couple of things about Disney films here, and I find the underlying message mostly insidious.

Where was the hype when they did Pocohantas, who we know was a Native American? Where was the extreme when they did Mulan, and the main figure was Asian?

And NOW, the nets go bonkers because the new movie features an African-American princess???? And, 'oooo, she will be such a role model for little kids'?????

Well, that is fine, and I am all for that... except....

I remember a very odd one they did called 'Song of the South', and I saw it as a child sometime in the last milennia.... When I took another look at it on the tee-vee some decades later, it shocked me, it was so racist.

And all I can think of is a parallel here. Dickens. Yes, I know, go ahead and yawn all you want. Oliver Twist. His famous character Fagin caused much upset in the community of people of Jewish faith at the time. 'The old Jew.' And later he enraged 'small people' with his portrait of a manicurist, I can't remember the name at the moment, but they were off the charts. That was in 'David Copperfield', and a very minor character.

In his last full novel, 'Our Mutual Friend', Dickens tried to correct the criticism he had gotten for decades and created two characters to go against the predjudices. One was a man of Jewish faith, who gets to instruct the beleaguered heroine, and is depicted so well, you could swear there was a halo hovering over his head the whole time. The other was a crippled dwarved doll-maker, who had a bigger role, but it was still grotesque.

(The rest of the novel was wonderful, believe me.)

Point is, in trying to rectify his predjudices, of which he had many, he totally fucked it up.

See the parallel?

I haven't seen this piece of confection yet, of course, but the way the media is going on about it... I get the shudders and can only imagine the worst.

To have the Disney people go to Oprah, and have her seal of approval on the subject matter? Tells me so much about how and what they are thinking, and what they FEAR. And despite, 'oh, how positive they are', they are still wishing for the days of Uncle Remus and 'Zipidee-do-da'.

Since the Christmas season is about to start on Sunday.... I hope the ghost of Charles Dickens comes back and haunts them till they finally wake the fuck up.

For those of you celebrating the horridays.....

Wish you all a pleasant Thanksgiving without the high family drama that can often mar it. So hope it will all be pleasant, and that the food will be wonderful.

Happy Horriday, in other words...

Before I go completely blind...

I picked up my DVD of he sixth Harry Potter film, so this is gonna be trivial.

There was so MUCH in there... that was never in the book.

It took about fifteen minutes for them to get to the real introduction of the book, and Snape, superbly acted by Alan Rickman sort of cut cut from what went before.

Big, very big mistake.

His figure is the motivating factor in the entire series. The guy is so malicious, you would believe he would do very bad things.

In the films so far, he has been a delight to me. He can put more acid into his voice than any one I have ever seen. I wouldn't want to be around him, personally... Just brilliant...

He is so fucking skeery, you want to call 9-11... just to get out of his way.

And of course, everything gets built up to be that he is the villain you always thought he was.

EXCEPT.. it will not be so in the end.

I have loved the series for years... because it is so wonderful, and the message is terrific.

I have followed this series for years.

And I did not like most of this movie version. I did NOT like the beginning, they should have stayed with the novel. I found it offensive that a gratuitous scene was put in with the bad guys attacking the 'Weasley house. It served nothing to the narrative.

I found that stretching out the 'romantic' themes to fucking eternity were not valuale.

I DID find... the last thirty minues were breathtakingly good.

So dark, and frightening... when Snape kills the prinicpal Dumbledore because that little shit Draco can't do as told.... well, that was wonderful...

As I imagined it some years ago, when I read it.

Thirty minutes of good stuff, and two and a half hours of 'just get me out of here', it was never in the book.' The books never needed emellishment. They were perfect.

I have read that they are going to split the last book into two films. Some people grumble that that is a ploy to make it more priofitable.

It has about one thousand pages, and why that does that remind me of the fucking health care billl???

You can't DO that in two hours...

Am really interested in how they wind the project up.

Aa muxh as I like the films... reading it is a trip.

Don't yell or hit...

Don't you just HATE it when a doctor looks at you

And says 'Uh-oh'... (Those two syllables seem to be used everywhere in the world...)

So I went for my quarterly check-up with Hedwig 'The Angry' this morning, and when she looked into my good, left eye, she said, 'Uh-oh..'

And so I asked, 'Oh gawwd, what now?'

'You have a thrombosis in the central vein of your optical nerve.'

(oh... is that all... The reason I really really like my eye doctor is herewith explained. She doesn't bullshit you and shoots even bad news straight from the hip.)

She asked me what stress I've been under lately, I gave her the Cliff Notes version,and she nodded. 'Yes, that explains it... When are you going to learn you have to live YOUR life?'

She said she was surprised I see as much as I do out of that eye right now. And that she was sending me to the eye clinic at the county hospital, like right away.

And as it was late in the morning, I asked, 'Well can I do that tomorrow? I have to take care of a few things.'

Whereupon she became Hedwig 'The Relentless' and said, 'You are GOING. NOW. '

(Why does she always make me feel like a ten-year-old and want to say, 'aww, Mom...')

Well, I know from experience that you do not go against what 'The Relentless' orders if you want to live. Because her staff will hunt you down, and give you nasty telephone calls. Yup.

So I took the street car to the hospital up the way, muttering, 'Holy Fuck!' all the way. And found the eye clinic. Let me tell you, that complex is so huge, it is amazing. So I went to the ambulatory part, and passed over my chit passing me on, and Hedwig's diagnosis.

And was asked to wait. Now this part is only for emergency cases. And there were about forty to fifty people ahead of me. It looked like the mini-version of the free health clinic in Little Rock that was held last Saturday, and which I saw on Countdown on my pc this morning. So I waited ninety minutes, and it looked like an all-day camp-out.

As usual, the place was over-heated, and I began to feel very un-well, and knew that a bad asthma attack was on the way, and I was not, NOT about to go through that with so many people present.

So I asked the admittance nurse if I could schedule an appointment for tomorrow morning, said I wasn't feeling well, and she told me to tell the nurse at the end of the hall.

(Right, Ren, you are in a bloody hospital, what did you expect?)

And since I knew it would only be a matter of minutes and risk being slapped into a stationary hospital bed, I got out of there as fast as I could and into the crisp Fall air.

And immediately had an attack for the amusement and wonderment of the few passers-by. Whereupon, I thought, 'get your sorry arse home, NOW.'

And took the streetcar back to my stop and walked home. Hardly inside, had attack number two for the day, and the inhalers I have don't work for shit.

That I can notice, anyway.

And yes, they were probably brought on by my being upset about the entire thing.

So now that I have related today's 'excellent adventure'... I will retire to get some sleep, and try to calm down.

After having looked it up on 'da google' and finding upsetting pictures, that won't be easy, but the drops at the doctor's really irritated my vision in the left eye, so resting is good.

Well, I got locked out.

I have no say, because I 'wasn't there. Isn't that a kick in the pants?

My ftather is gone, I don't know where.... No one will tell me....

And callíng the one number I have is gonna be the day hell freezes over, and Roland Emmerich will direct.

I do not understand hate, you know?

You can hate people if they are really, really nasty and hurt you.

I can't recall hurting someone so much that they would be that hurtful, I really can't.

It is so much 'fun'. Not..

What do people have in their hearts and still call themselves 'Christians'?

Sorry, am out of the loop right now.

I can't bend my head around this sick way of thinking, nor can I get to the place where I can still talk to my father.

And that fucking hurts. Just as learning that he isn't in hospital any more, and you can believe.... no one is going to tell me because I am the Antichrist.

Have fun with that one.....

With all the drama in my personal life at present...

I haven't been ignoring the world around me. (Americans are so insular, and never seem to look beyond the tips of their nose, and never ask themselves what is going on.... They have concerns, and they just don't look...)

Please bear with me on this for just a moment.

It is always good to ask yourself WHY some memes get such huge coverage in the MSM.

And in the past several days, there was this huge uproar about trying terrorists in New York, specifically the people who were behind the destruction of the World Trade Center. It mostly came from the right.

And 'OH! they get to spew their agenda in court, and OH, it is gonna be so dangerous, and OH, it is going to destroy the very fabric of the nation'.

And so forth and so on, and it is really very irritating in my view, and I sort of wondered... 'Why this sudden FEAR that the US is so fragile, huh?'

The US Constitution is so very frail, it will disinigrate if justice in the case is done.

In their opinion.

I just can't buy that line of argument.

As above, I have enough worries of my own at the moment... but last night in an unfitful sleep, the real reason occured to me. You know, one of those moments when you are half-awake, and I guess it was simmering below the surface....

Those mouthpieces are afraid. Very afraid. Because I think that when they went on their eight-year roll of betraying every value that every other American was taught, and basically terrorising the world... and abandoning all that was decent, they fear.... they fear... that what they did will come to light in that trial, and it could very well have consequences for them. Which it should.

It is just a theory, mind you, but it makes more sense to me. And yes, I mean torture, abandoning people's rights, doing what they wished, when they wished, ascertaining the right to hold people without an official charge, and on and on... it makes sense.

It would make far more sense.

I hope they just shit their pants. Time for them to be afraid.

Again, just my theory.

Last week, Steven Colbert

Really gave one scathing edition of 'The Word' on his show. I am sometimes floored by his satire, and have been looking for an embeddable clip since, but YouTube doesn't have it on there that I can find.

Go to Huffington Post at the link below, and enjoy. He pushes the envelope so often, it is brilliant. 'No open caskets. Because if we want gay people to be dead, they should be like we wanted them to live.... Invisibly.' Tja, that's Murka, all right....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/17/colbert-destroys-ri-gover_n_360313.html

I hadn't heard this before....

The text was sort of a wake-up call... it just resonated, is all.... You can interpret the text to other contexts, you know? It made me cry.

Today is stay-in day....

Mensch, I haven't seen a fog like we have today in decades. You can hardly see half a block.

And yeah, it used to be thicker when everyone was heating with 'so-called' clean coal, and the stench was biting in the Seventies. And I would cruise in the city park on my way home from work, and you could hardly see anything at all, and it was lit by gas lamps. And someone would come at you, and just appear out of the fog, and then would disappear as quickly, and all you heard were footsteps. It was sort of cool.

And I would think.... 'why do I feel like Doris Day in Midnight Lace?'

Which means, of course, that I have regained some sense of humour at the moment....

Although I still don't actually feel well...

So I decided to nap out. It seems I can't do high drama and be energised for days on end any more. Bad sign.

I wanted to call my father before he gets shunted off somewhere, but it is Sunday. Which means 'the unspeakable creature from 'Lake Massabesic' is in his room. I don't need a second round of insults, thenk you....

And in other news... health care reform passed another hurdle, and they get to debate and ammend in the Senate.

I really liked Blanche Lincoln of Arkansas being so rattled, because she is just another 'tool'. She reminded me of someone---

On a frivolous note.... I get my dvd of the last Harry Potter film in the next day or so. Peter is so looking forward to it. I wasn't able to take him to the cinema this past summer, because the films are long, and his bladder is so iffy, he'd have ended up sitting in a puddle.

Now, I know, I KNOW... some people think it all silly. But in the end, it IS about tolerance. The Amazon reviews were only so-so. But am interested in seeing how they wrap up the series. Only two more to go, because they split the last, very long book into two films.

Yup, frivolous.

As to Peter... well, he finally, FINALLY knows he has to go to hospital because he will die otherwise. And he wants to see the film 'Loose Change' on YouTube on the internets. They have a German version. It's about 9/11, and sort of chilling.

And well worth the ninety minutes... what I liked about it is that they brought up footage that was broadcast, but ultimately went under the radar. And brings up some very disturbing facts and questions.

So you see? You can reach an age where you sort of look ahead, and that which you wish for is in small increments, and then you go on to the next thing.

Life is fucking crazy.

I was out on the square this morning....

Still having a core of bubbling lava inside of me (read anger).... gawwd, some people can get me into that mode, and thank gawd I left that place....

and I ran into a former neighbor in the Mühlgasse with his son Elias, who has really 'shot up' as we say when kids grow fast. So he wanted to know about Peter, of course, and how he is doing... (not so hot), and I recounted the events of the past couple of days because it is very much on my mind...

And Elias suddenly pipes up with 'Ninety Four? NINETY FOUR???' (Elias is about eight years old...) And I said, 'Yes, he is, and even got a renewal on his driver's license this year. Kids here don't know the word, but I could see he was thinking 'awesome!'

And I said at one point, 'my family really doesn't like me much.'

And again he pipes up with, 'Why don't they like you? I like you.'

He has hardly exchanged two words with me since he was a toddler. Which floored me.

And is extremely bright.

And I hesitated a split second.... and said, 'Well, I like you too, Elias. Families can be a bit complicated, you know? Things can get difficult.'

And left it at that.

It was just a moment out on the square, going to get the bus.

I have always thought that Elias is going to grow up and be someone special.

Leichenfledderer

That is a German word for people who rob the dead. As in corpses, digging in their graves.

Now why does that very short convenient word come to mind?

I was writing some mails. And in the mail window, I can see when someone is on-line in case I want to send an instant message, and OH! What is THIS? My father is 'on-line? Well he is in the hospital, and I doubt that he would be allowed to write e-mails at midnight his time....

So 'someone' is on-line, and going through his pc.

Where is the respect? Where is the decency? It isn't as if they would put out a mail, and just do a mass mailing informing his addressees what had happened. It's been open for HOURS.

In all my life, no matter whom I was with, it would never have occurred to me to rifle through their private drawers, or their thoughts. It is indecent.

And it frustrates me to know that 'someone' is doing exactly that at the moment.

Tja, Leichenfledderer

If I EVER see this person in reality, in my life....

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Oh, the damned frustration!

Not knowing what is happening to 'the Venerable' after twelve hours, I got really itchy.

And thanks to the time difference, I REALLY can't expect anyone to be ON it 24 hrs a day, I just cannot.

Ignoring the fact that most of my family members don't really like me....

So I remembered the saying 'Google is your friend.' That is the golden rule of the internet age, believe me.

So I went spelunking. I know 'the Venrable' is covered by the VA, so it was logical to call there in my old home. They have some scary stuff on their answering machine about limits, and I didn't like what I heard, believe me.

And it went ON and ON, and ON... 'press number 1 for this', and so on and so on... but at least it was four choices. Four was my number. And another recording, and finally there was a real live person on the phone. (Without an Indian accent... as in India... who knows what gets outsourced these days...)

But he had a very strong Southern US accent, which was odd to me.... (Wha's he doing in New Hampshire, hey?) It was just a passing impression...

So I explained who I was, and why I was calling, and wanted to know if my father was in their hospital. Long story short: he isn't. BUT... he was very polite, and said to wait a few minutes, and he found him. Even tho I didn't know the last four numbers of his social security card.

BTW... we have easy ones. You memorise the first four numbers, and the rest is your birth date, day month year. Good deal. Just saying.

So he gave me the number of the hospital he IS in, and away we went.

His hospital answered immediately, which is cost conserving. I very politely asked if he were there, and if I could speak to him. The young woman was very nice, and connected me to his room. Except he didn't pick up, so he was out of the room for tests or sleeping.

Will try again later.

The Age of Instant Gratification is really horrible, you know? You are four thousand miles away, haven't the means to fly immediatly to where you would like to be, and there you hang.... Out in a limbo that is six hours ahead of what is happening, so your window of opportunity to connect is very very limited.

I will try a little later.

And I wish to very deeply thank the nice people who have become friends over the past years via the 'internets', and my rocks of Gibralter, my cousins.

just when you think everything is going to be ok

It gets worse.

My father, aka 'the Venerable', sent me an e-mail with the title 'bad fall'. Since he doesn't capitalise or is touch and go about that lately, I 'assumed' it was about a bad-weather autumn. Except it wasn't.

It was written by my brother, N. 'The Silent'. And so I learned that my Dad was out raking leaves, (and I wonder why the hell... other than it might have been a nice day, and he might have felt like being out a bit... who knows why people do things, after all?) and he fell and broke his hip.

His surgery went well, but he has a long way to go to recover.

Reading that, I thought the heat in my place had gone off again, felt so chilled right to the bone. At ninety-four, that is a very serious thing to have had to happen to him.

So am up at midnight, worrying.

And nope, not gonna go drama queen here. When you have a lucid, 94 year old parent, you sort of get steeled for the day that a mail like that arrives, or 'the' phone call you never want to pick up on.

This one was an option I hadn't considered.

So keep him in your thoughts, okay?

Oh... here we go again....

Hospital time....

I am pretty sure Peter has pneumonia again, and for a fucking week now, opposition, right down to the line.

He 'says' he wants to go in on Monday. Hokay.... as long as he does it....

And THAT is only because I am so angry with him at the moment.

I wanted him in there three days ago.

And after watching what happened at the free clinic in New Orleans last weekend... well, it doesn't make much sense, does it...

(83% of the people who went had a condition... from high blood pressure to cancer, to diabetes 2..... Most of them work, but are not covered. That is shameful in my view.)

Am still very angry at the moment, so will not go on. There is no reason for him not to be cared for. At seventy, he's just stubborn as a mule. And makes me worry.

My gawd, what blather about a BOW...

The right wing media has lost their marbles, if they ever had any in the first place.

So, it is story time, kiddies.... Unca Ren is gonna tell you one, yep..

Very long ago, and fer away... there was this fallen kingdom called Austria, which had become a democracy. And in doing so... they had done away with silly things like titles, and the former nobility had no right to use them any more, even tho some people still looked up to them because they had a 'name'.

But the neighboring kingdom wasn't so harsh, and allowed their former nobility to keep their titles, and even put them in their passports!

Now there was this naive young man who came from way across the ocean, and worked in a hospice. His kingdom was a rabid democracy, whose people believed that EVERY ONE was equal.

One evening a very old man came into the hospice out of the rain, and the naive young man thought it was an old farmer in a plastic raincoat with a very striking face, which resembled portraits he had seen in museums. He wanted the simplest of rooms the hospice had to offer. And presented his passport.

And in the passport, he was titled as 'the prince--from here--to there.' And the naive young man thought, 'oh, how do I ADRESS him?' It was a real dilemma for him. And then he decided, 'Fuck this, we don't kow-tow to anyone like that'. And pretended nothing was disturbing, and used the polite form of address. As in French, the country had two forms of addressing people. So he chose 'diplomacy', because he didn't know what to do.

Asking about, he learned that the prince was one of the most powerful and rich of the neighboring kingdom, and that made him very uncertain.

Thankfully, the prince came back to the hospice every year to attend seminars regarding railways, which was his passion. And he was so gracious and charming, that the naive young man changed his views about what he had been taught about 'tyrants'. One evening he told the prince about his first reaction, and the prince said, 'Oh, my dear young man! Who thinks of that nowadays???' And he smiled.

Which reminded the naive young man of Proust, who maintained that the higher the title, the more gracious people were. (He had learned a little in the meanwhile.)

After many years, the prince came for his last visit. He told the naive young man he would not be back for the next seminar, because his hearing was so bad, and he would not 'ask anyone to speak up so I can hear them.'

The naive young man broke protocol. He took the hand of the now frail prince in both of his, and thanked him for having known him and for having visited the hospice for decades, and that from his heart.

The prince froze a little, having a commoner 'touch' him, but then was gracious.

And polite to the naive young man with heart-warming messages.

The prince died six months or so later. And the naive young man mourned his passing. He met princesses, and horrible earls, and Counts, and all... but the prince was truly a prince. And he had learned what protocol is, so he never got flustered again.

Tja, another fractured fairy tale. Except it is fairly true.

What the naive young man learned was that giving respect earned respect, and that if you want to get ahead, you adapt as far as you can to get what you want.

Out of the mouth of babes...

Or is this another balloon boy?

I don't know who this helps. And why does a ten year old have lots of 'gay' friends? Another giveaway is in there, with the father worrying that is getting going to get covered by CNN.

And Roberts is a media whore.

People are so stoopid, or calculating.

Listen... I have my problems with Obama. But to have this Arsehole critisize him for bowing before the leader of Japan, the 'Tools' don't know what they are talking about. And they are so way out of line, it is incredible.

Even if you are a 'lowly' idjit and let loose on the world.... if you are 'smart', you follow the customs of the land in which you find yourself. And you better learn quickly. There is a different 'ettiquette'.

I learned in my professional life... that if someone from Japan came into the lobby, and we got to speaking, it was of importance to just bend forward slightly, and nod your head down. It was a gesture of respect. Because THAT IS HOW THEY DO THINGS. It is about respect. It was about being polite to them. Shaking hands is way off the border for what is correct.

If you want to go out in the world, you have to know what the customs are....

If Obama 'bowed' before the Emporer of Japan, and deeply... It was a sign of respect, and probably opened the way to a very productive dialogue. I can't know.

If it is the Emperor of Japan, the deeper the bow, the more you show your respect.

BOOOSH wouldn't bow to anybody, as contrast....

But the sycophants are still out there, and they want to make him into Satan, or something. It's fucking diplomacy.

There is still so much I do not like about his presidency so far.

But when he goes abroad, he at least knows how to behave himself.

But get a load of these medja idjits, remnants of people who were sycophants to the
last one.

They have no idea, and blather.

http://thinkprogress.org/2009/11/16/rove-attacks-bowing/

Give.Me.A.Break!

This weekend, I noticed that all the streets suddenly were having their Christmas lights put up. Ok, they are intricate.... But is it make work.... and begin on November 14th????? And should I ADD that we had such a balmy November-golden-leaved day today that I got sweaty in my winter coat, so that it sort of seems surreal?

Ok, ok, our 'Thanksgiving'was a month ago, when the farmers got all their crops in.

But as I remember, the Xmas decos went up the Monday after. Now it is so crazy, everywhere... Tja... The Italians, as crazy as they can be... put up their decorations on December fifth. Which was fitting. And that is the different.

And Peter probably has pneumonia again. Just guessing, and I probably bussed it in and gave it to him. Which is why I was quiet over the weekend. It just gets worse and worse. Will deal with is as I ususally do...

Whatever... take a look at this list.

http://action.afa.net/Detail.aspx?id=2147486887


And I thought Baby Jeebus brings all the presents on Christmas. In the red list, they yell at you if they say 'Merry Christmas', and you answer 'Happy Holidays'... believe me.

Ooooo.... The horridays must be close. Except they keep moving the goalposts... It is really disgusting.

Elves in New York!

Hundreds in Union Square? Cute.

At the end of the week...

I watch the past few days of One Life To Live via YouTube.

They are so edgy... Ridiculous, sometimes, but fun.

Soap operas can give you cavities in the brain, really....

Where did Jeebus go?

No more government funds for these people....

These things that people with 'power' use... to go against what is in the New Testament, I hope they have a special hell for their hate.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/11/AR2009111116943_pf.html

How not so 'wonderful', or Christian.

Slick...

And yes Sean, that is gonna make it SO right. asshole...

But the Josef Goebbels network really fucked up, and made ' Faux' fucked-up-crazy news moderator admit that the 'press conference', that was really a rally, WASN'T (according to him... ) and deny that it was rally , because that would have beein 'illegal' . It was made to look as if ten thousands of people attended. It was only about four thousand, as it turns out. The crazies.

But Faux news did a Goebbels.... Sean fucking Hannity, and he is in my pantheon of people who lie constantly, and whom I can't listen to for five minutes at a time, and that from the year 2001, before I begin yelling at the tee-vee... That stupid TOOL got caught with his pants down,

So what did he do?

Yeah, apologise. But he wasn't to blame, oh no....

Right.

Egg on your face much?

Pompous asshole....

Take a look..

Betty Bowers explains it all to you...

This is fun.

Gossips...

Have often mentioned how I love living 'out on the square'. Everything I need is nearby.

BUT... you often get very vulnerably exposed. Everyone knows everyone else's business. It reminds me of the intro to 'People' in Funny Girl.. So... my heat is still off, despite however I wanted to tinker with the radiators. They remain stubbornly cold, and the heating system got fully renovated last summer. Go figure. Until yesterday, the apt. was tempered a nice 21 degrees Centigrade, the way I like it. And then the thermometer over my 'desk' started to fall. And is hovering at a mere 17.

That doesn't sound like much of a difference, but there is a chill on the air which makes it very uncomfortable. So I got out my second duvet, and igled into them for the afternoon. An Igel is something like an echidne, and hibernates under leaves in the winter. Looks like a tiny porcupine, and has teeny-weeny feet. W. wanted to come over and inspect what is wrong.

But I had to go out to the tobacconist across the way, and recently, had overheard her talking at the beginning of the heating period that her heating system was defective, and she was on the horn with a repairman to have someone come and fix it. She has one of the fancy systems that run all over underneath the floorboards, and they are awesome. But the regulator had died.

So I was over there, sniffling and sneezing, and grouchily said, 'Now MY heat won't work. Is it an epidemic?'

And then came the 'hammer'. 'I know, the entire two houses went cold yesterday, and they are hoping to get it fixed.' So she knows where I live. I never friggin' told her. And was amazed. Asked, 'You mean over there, across the way? I thought it was just mine.'

'No, the entire two houses, and they hope to get it fixed soon.'

Everyone around here thinks they know everything about everybody, believe me.

So let's learn a new German word today. 'Tratschbasen' Lady gossips. Tratsch is gossip. The rest isn't so flattering. I never want to know what all else she supposedly 'knows' about me.....

And just hope they get it fixed before the weekend....

And for the record... when I go get my sniggarettes, with her I never engage in small talk.... Ever. This was a fluke, begun by something she had said a few weeks ago. And had said something like, 'Oh, too bad, but on the other hand, who would check out their heating system in the summer. Isn't it always the way, when you NEED it, something goes wrong....' Otherwise I am monosyllabic.

Never impolite, just quiet.

Today I added, 'I used to have a friend who used to say "living in Europe is like camping out." I used to laugh at her, but sometimes I wonder.' She laughed.

Yeah, am grouchy and sort of put out.

After checking on the news the past few days, am still really pissed off about the Stupak ammendment, the implications are just not acceptable for me. (That is the one where poor white women won't be able to abort even tho they have health care... Neanderthal men assholes who feel threatened.)

And a few days ago, Keith Olberman went nuts with the newest wingnuttery, and the meme had been out there during the fight for Prop 8 in CA. And I thought it was a bit absurd at the time, but no... the 'defense of marriage' people want a referendum to ban divorce.

He had a moment of glee about it, and then threw his papers at the camera.

What sort of 'defense of marriage' is THAT? Making people who turn out to be miserable with one another MORE miserable? Because of some religious belief? And that book of Horrors, the old Testament 'says so?'

I have really been trying to find the moment when any sort of rationality went out the window over there. It seems to be a sneaking-up, creepy-crawly... dare I say the word?... agenda by some very unhappy people, who want everyone else to suffer because of their beliefs.

And NOW... I'm going to go back under my duvets, and snuggle and stay warm. And hope that the neighbors across the court in that 'Rear Window' sort of setting aren't using binoculars or a zoom lens watching what I do...

W. is coming over and lend me a space heater for the duration.

How hateful can you get????

I do not GET this story. As someone maybe going to the end of my life....

These so-called people... just send me into another asthma attack.

http://www.joemygod.blogspot.com/

A moment of hilarity to make you smile

Sometimes people get caught up in nightmares

That never seem to want to end. My poster child for men who really get involved with bad women, W. got carted off to the Kripo again today. For questioning, again, just after he got proven innocent for not having beaten his ex up.

Three days later she was baaack, with a new accusation. He had stabbed her with a kitchen knife on June 30th, she maintains. (The 'assault' that never happened was on June 3rd.)

So here we go again... It is a good thing to have a blog. Really. I mean, my days are so routine mostly, one is pretty much like the other. And he asked me if he had still been camping out on June thirtieth at my place. And I said, 'I think so, but I can't be 100 per cent certain...'

So I went and looked in my archive for June, and unfortunately, there was no post on June thirtieth, which means I wasn't feeling well, or was depressed. BUT... there was a post referring to W. on the 28th and again on July third, and it all came back.

He had gotten his new place, but he had an emotional PTSD set-back, and was camping out on my floor again. And in that time period, he never left my house. Ever. I remember being very irked because I had thought my 'good deed' was over, but he was so paranoid at the time, I just tried to be patient and 'listen'.

He did get over it sometime later.

I really do not know what that woman wants from him, and she has to be crazy. It is not like he is rich, or she could gain much from him.

So he was in again this morning after being interrogated, and was just shaking, he was so upset, and afraid I would believe that shit. So I did my Rogerian therapy thing on him, reflecting back what he was saying, and deflecting it back to him in slightly different words.

I KNOW that he didn't do that. And thanks to the blog, I KNOW he never left my house in the time period involved. Who wouldda thunk that something as innocuous as what I do on my computer might be able to put an end to this fucking nonsense?

Have said it before... if you live so closely next to someone over months, you know what makes them tick, and what they might be capable of. W. has his inner demons. I have heard much of what he saw, and that was certainly not the full horror. Have often woken up in the night and he would be having nightmares... 'No, I don't want to...' Talking in hs sleep.

It would pass, and I was afraid to wake him up. But awake, I was and will never be afraid of him.

It is odd... when my friend from California called me, I mentioned that episode en passant, and he got really really concerned. The FFL has a very bad rep, so I guess he thought I was in over my head.

I had to explain it to him more fully in a mail.

I can't figure out what this woman's motive is. Revenge? What?

Oh man...

MEN...

have absolutely no right whatsoever to make laws to decide what women decide on carrying out a pregnancy or not.

And putting the Stupak-Pitts bill in the health care reform that is so restrictive, no woman can decide what they can decide, and do, was .... well disgusting.

As to the video below, with the bastards yelling 'I object' to the women in the house...

I didn't immediately realize what it was about, just reacted to the incivility.

How in the world can MEN have the fucking GALL to do something like that?

They have no RIGHT to do that, in my mind.

I have known women who terminated their pregnancies. It scarred them. But I have known a woman who learned that her child would be damaged, and she backed out of a late-term abortion at the last minute. It was a genetic defect, she was thirty. The doctors estimated that he would live six years, max.

But doctors aren't wizards, and she spent fourteen years taking care of her child, and it was horrible. Oh yeah, she got health care. But it won't recompense her for the years she had to watch him regress... till he died at 14... never learned to talk or walk, he was just a vegetative little individual.

MEN still dominate what women do with their bodies, or their choices in life.

I still think... Men have no business deciding on what women can do.

The Stupak-Pitts ammendment was offensive in the etreme.

I'd like to give Nancy Pelosi ten pieces of my non-extistant mind, I would.

Rachel exposed the idjits behind this yesterday. A really conservative cabal.

This is a subject I NEVER get on.

But if there is one thing I believe, it is that women have the right to choose what they want in life, and it is THEIR decision.

And MEN should Shut The Fuck UP. It isn't their bodies, or rights, or decision.

From the clip I posted last night, I hadn't known what all the ladies were lining up about before Congress, only to have men yelling 'I OBJECT!' I just thought it was rude. It was so much more...

Someone should go out and GET STUPID, aka Stupak, and the pits of the pitts PITT, and reengineer them so they get pregnant and find out what that is like. So no, am not so 'fun' today.

Men have NO authority to legislate women's rights. Sorry, but the dinosaurs should trundle off to the graveyard.

I hope the Senate strips that out of the bill.

And what the hell was Pelosi THINKING of?

TWENTY YEARS?

Good gawd, where does the time go? Twenty years ago, the Berlin Wall fell, and all hell broke loose.

I was fortunate enough to go out there ten days later, and visit with friends. I'd been to Berlin several times before, and it was an amazing place to be, even with the wall. It was vibrant, and there was this electric feel in the air, always. I loved the West Berliners... they are the closest thing to the Viennese you can imagine. Funny, sarcastic, and they never took any shit from anyone. I visited East Berlin a few times as well, and nearly got in trouble with the Vopo (Volkspolizei) for aiming my camera in the wrong direction at a section of the Wall that some people had escaped over the week before. East Berlin was dreary, run down, and at that time, you could still see the scars of the battle at the end of WWII.

Bullet riddled facades much? I have since heard that everything improved muchly there. But I do think they should retain some as they were to remind people.

And went through the famous 'Check-Point Charlie' to cross over, as well as the Friedrichstrasse if I was with a Berliner. East Berlin was a downer for someone from the West, believe me.

So ok, am going ON... but I have a huge attachment to that place, and all the people there, ok?

Twenty years ago it all changed when the Wall came down. And as above, I went there ten days later for a week. It was so fucking amazing! And so damned cold I thought I would get frost-bite. (Take a note---you do NOT want to be in Berlin in November...)

But it was so historic, and there was so much joy, indescribable. Every morning the radio would report that a new entry into the East had been opened, and my friend would drag me off to her car, and away we would go, looking at what had been hidden from us for decades. I remember driving through the district of Pankow. That was where all the biggies lived, supposedly in unbelievable luxury...

I'm not underplaying this here, but you know what it looked like? Wisteria Lane on Desperate Housewives, and I so kid you not. But for the rest it looked like palaces.

I remember going to Potsdam, where we watched a botched Steven King film and practically froze to death because they had no heat.

Gawd, it was fun....

And yeah, I picked up pieces of the Wall, and sent them to friends and family... it was a wonderful week there.

But what really got under my skin, and made me so sad were the East Berliners. They were absolutly fucking shell-shocked. Their whole world had changed in 24 hours, and they weren't good with it. I spoke with so many on the Ku'damm, and they weren't able to grasp what that street offered.... if you had money. And I spoke with them in other places in the city, and they were so clueless.... And that was sad for the moment. I expected that they would catch their collective breath, and move on.

And they have for the most part.

So... and sorry for going on about this, I experienced something very important twenty years ago... and am sort of surprised, because it seems like yesterday. Where the hell did the time go?

And yes, if you give me a choice between Berlin and New York... Berlin would be my choice. I know, I can go on about Venice Italy, which is my second heart-beat, but Berlin is the most wonderful city I have visited. Brash, sassy, everyone has a 'lip', but good-hearted.

Hmm. Haven't been back since. But it was a 'hammer', as we say...

Sometimes people meet you... halfway through the woods...

Life can be so wonderful, and sometimes extreme.

You meet someone from way across the world, and a bond comes into being.

I just got a call from one of the most wonderful people I ever met. So you can guess that he is 'unusual'. I don't like 'normal'. I like 'interesting'. I can fall in love with people who can be 'challenging', and not let me get away with bullshit.

This person is so wonderful, he can leave me spitless. He can. Born in the Ukraine, grew up in Tirol Austria after the war, and then the family moved to Detroit. And became a dentist, and practices in San Diego.

He is such a mass of contradictions, he leaves me breathless. I was a very close friend to his lover, who died at thirty. They visited us three times here in Graz and Vienna. He is so reckless, and funny, I think the world of him. There aren't many people around on this earth like he is. I loved arguing with him---civilly---so many times, and he made me laugh so often, it was fun. Because his heart is so big... he is amazing.

The last I heard, he was going to Rwanda and Uganda on an organised trip to track gorillas, and photograph them. It didn't surprise me. He goes nuts over animals. My couch critter was present when I received that mail.... and he went bonkers. 'THAT is SO dangerous! What is he THINKING OF????' W. was IN central Afrika, and knew what was what.

But my friend seems to be impervious to all danger, although I was worried.

So he called me this evening all the way from California. I love hearing his voice on the other side of the world. And for all his imperfections, his heart is so huge, and he s so kind, I could fall in love with him in one half of a minute.

Yes, he is attractive. Blonde, probably grey now, wonderful 'open' eyes and you see the soul shining out... don't want to get Dumbya here, but there are people who can just let that out, and few and far between, and you can fall for them totally. I guess some people call it charisma.

He calls me twice a year. Ever since his lover died. Who was my 'brother' in spirit.

It is nice to know you have an exceptional, wonderful friend who cares enough to reach out to you, and BE there. Today being a pit one, nothing better could have happened.

And oh yes, he said Rwanda was 'dangerous', but he had a super time filming gorillas. Just go figure... I really love that man. I don't even feel worthy to be his friend. He is so recklessly courageous, and just goes out and does what he wants to do, and fuck what anyone thinks or fears.

Sometimes it is good to remember that there are people out there who connect, and care about you.

I wish him the best life ever.

How to recognise a true republican...

health care passed the House... I think it heinous that no one gets to give an opinion, just because this group of insurance whores want to break them at any cost and sit on their ill-gotten gains from interest groups. I can't even remember a situation like that in kindergarten, let alone grade school.

But they showed their true faces, all right.

In the end, the bill passed the House. Wait till you see what the Senate does... I hope that students get really good classes to analyse what is happening. And see tools for what they are.

Oooh... censorship. They removed my video clip due to 'trademark rights'. Uh-huh. It doesn't eliminate the fact that the Republican reaction to women in the House was just disgusting.

It is still on YouTube, so am putting it back in.

Just an odd thought...

A year or so ago... I was in a round of people high on beer...

And met a lesbian.

And she was a matchmaker. oh BOY, she was a matchmaker...

So she dragged me across town to a gay bar of which the proprietor was a man transforming into a woman.

Well, I had a problem with that plan. I seem to prefer men, even if they are assholes, for the most part.

I have trouble dealing with men who feel they are women. I just do. I have my flaws... Some things I have trouble understanding, you know?

My companion was completly certain that I was just repressing feelings, and then went into this, 'you hate them' mode. Which made me very angry. And to prove that I wasn't what she was depicting me, I kissed the 'lady'. Sensuasly, long, and then turned around and said... 'it doesn't DO anything for me but I am not afraid of them.'

It was so fucked up...

And 'Marion', who owns the bar said, 'you may come back.'

There is a bill coming up over there regarding transgendered people, that they do not get discriminated against.

It is called ENDA.

It deserves support.

And I am only telling this because I KNOW. When I was young, about a thousand years ago, I supervised what one would only call 'Golden Boy'. He was so beautiful you could melt. Athletic, perfect. And in a perfect fairy tale, he married a co-worker, and it was beautiful.

But there was a hitch. He disappeared for two days and I found him back stage in a former dressing room. He wouldn't say what was wrong.

It disturbed me muchly.

A few years later, I learned that he had become a woman.

That was such a mind-fuck, it took me a long time to even grasp the fact.

And yes, there was a messy divorce, but there weren't any children at least to bear the brunt of that...

It has taken me AGES to face the issue that some people feel wrong in their bodies, and do extreme things to change themselves into what they feel they are. But they deserve respect, and go way beyond what everyone expects.

And that is the point where we have to ask ourselves wheher we are truly liberal. Even within a minority, people get closed out, and that is not right at all.

I think I passed my inner barrier when I kissed 'Marion'. She smelled very nice. But I do not think that she could ever be a significant part of my life. We all choose our own ways.

So.... in summing up... we all have our little barriers. But keeping people out of what is humanity is something inhumane.

So support ENDA. Kristy, who used to be Paul, and an amazing person, would thank you for it. And yes, we have to get over our predjudices, whoever we are.

I have a code in my nose...

It seems to be just a cold for now.

So am lying in, and drinking hot tea and lemon, and trying to do what you do when you have a cold.

I have known that something was up for a few days. My brain felt like someone was in there, and pushing down on it.

The cotton candy syndrome. Always a bad sign. Your brain feels like it is full of it.

Doesn't surprise me. You ride the busses,..... all you hear are coughs, and they are gonna GET you.

I don't even want to get INTO the asthma issue. Am trying to educate myself on that.

Today, all I want is to breathe freely, and be very very quiet. And sleep. So that is what I will do...

And no, it isn't the flu... it is just a nasty cold.

Start boiling the chicken soup, people... it's that time of year.

Markos goes after the Chickenhawk

This is just too good. Markos Moulitsas is a very interesting man. He has a very interesting site with a huge community interested in grass roots progressive politics, and is known as 'the great orange Satan'. Because the site is orange, I guess. He was in the military. His family was in central America when they went rambo on the populace, but he still served.

He wants to make America better. And inspires fear among the whores.

Oh yes, and my father, a WWII veteran, gets HIS healthcare via the VA. I have never heard him complain about it, and it is about equal to what we have here. Tom Tancredo, or Tornado, or whatever the fuck his name is... doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. AND...as all chicken hawks are... he just wants to get rich and disguise that when it was down to the wire... he made damned sure he didn't get drafted.

So what else could he do other than to duck off? Now that is a good call... Shows him for what he is.

This is so crass, and god or whomever bless Shoshanna Johnson

For calling 'crap' when she hears it.

As always, when something happens, the 24/7 medjia idiots go into Bachman overdrive. It is disgusting, it has been happening for decades, and basically disgusting.

And everyone goes on their own 'agenda', racial, religious, gawd knows what, but they just speculate to fit their idea of things without FACTS.

And Larry King is the king of speculation, salacious, yes, salacious. I know the word and it fits. Make any event spectacular, even if you do not have FACTS.

(Peter hates Larry King, btw... 'all he can say is "we'll be back in 60 seconds" just when it gets interesting, or "we have to go to a break now" if a discussion gets 'uncomfortable' ". And he is basically right...)

So over two days, we get blather about the killings at Fort Hood. Ok, horrific.

Watch Ms. Johnson's face when a JAG officer blathers on, and how she shoots him down. Classic stuff, and she is a heroine. It was a rare moment of watching truth to power.

Ewww... I have a cold... or something....

I hate catching colds, but what the hell it is damned November. Warm one day, cold the next... you feel like your head is wrapped in cotton and can't think... and someone is pressing on your damned brain if you bend over.

It is disgusting, oh yeah.... snotted up...

We had two snow flurries, nothing to holler about, normal...

But nothing to worry about, and I am not surprised. Every day on the busses, and everyone coughing all over the place. Was bound to happen.

It just makes me crotchety.

And doesn't do a lot for my asthma, will grant you that....

But what really gets me breathless... is the shoddy reporting last nite from Texas. Christ, these mouthpieces went into overdrive for salivation, without knowing real facts. Feeding on fears, speculating, and oooooh, GAWD, the perp had a muslim name.....

And first he was dead, but then, many hours later he was alive, like Frankenstein or something, it was awesome.

And exactly what is wrong with 24 hour news channels, doesn't matter who they are.

Speculation, and making a 'sensation' even if they haven't got any facts.

It would have sufficed to say the guy had a 'muslim' name. And even that would have been not really ok. But that got them salivating like a pack of Dobermans after a rabbit.

I don't mean to belittle a tragedy. But the way it was presented in the media was anything but professional. Especially because the first reports turned out to be totally, fully wrong.

It is a game, and second-guessing has never really proven to be of any help. It's like going down the street and listening to gossip, and then it turns out to be something else.

Only time will tell what triggered that tragedy. And I suspect even then we will never know. People go off the charts, and do crazy things.

Which brings me back to the so-called Fox supporters of the so-called tea-party people. And Michelle Bachman of the 'great' state of Minnesota. That crazy bitch got aligned with some huge corporate people who bussed in four thousand people to stage a show in front of the Capitol yesterday.

Did you ever look at her eyes? She is ON something. But the media laps it up. Everyone loves a show. In a perfect world, she would have been a patient of Hassan, and he probably would have throttled her. Not that I wish that, but it would have been sort of a perfect 'final solution'.

And that was satiric, mind you.

When people start throwing around Nazi thoughts and are absolutely hateful... it is really time to fight back. Josef Goebbels is alive in his grave, and delighted about what the media in 'Murka has become, am certain.

Otherwise, am saddened. I don't want to know what suffering those families and people left behind are having to endure.

Oooo... when I see things like this....

I am so glad I am not there. These people are so dumb, and so crazy, and so manipulated by the likes of Glenn Beck and very rich corporations, and they really don't seem to know what the hell they are protesting against. No logic at all... just angry puppets.

And in other news...

Goldman Sachs and Wall Street get swine flu vaccine, and 'normal' people are still scrambling.

Via the Today Show this morning....

I am of two minds about the whole thing.

It sounds so sensible... my grandmother had a rare form of turburculosis. So we got innoculated. And didn't catch it.

So far so good.

But in the 90's, they cooked up a bad batch, and people died of Guillame Barre syndrome.. which is where you go paralysed from your feet till it reaches your lungs and you basically drown. Now THAT was something to want to achieve....

Meanwhile, I had flu shots twice... and promptly came down with flus that were the worst I have experienced. So I refuse to do that again.

It is not 'wingnuttia', but if you do something twice and get bad results, better to leave it or you are sorta kinda stupid.

And this whole swine flu scare... well, there was SARS recently...

I was still working, and the hysteria had reached peaked, and one evening, everyone who checked into the hotel I worked in was from the affected region. And the medjia here as well was going full blast about it.

And yes, it made me feel 'uncomfortable'. Just like when AIDS came on the scene, and no one knew how it was transmitted, and people would check in from New York or San Francisco, and being friendly, want to shake your hand, or cough in front of you.... It was creepy...

The hysteria in the media is so negative, you could barf. The fact is, if there is a flu epidemic, people die. Peter is going ON about me, not getting innoculated.

Uh-uh.... And always beginning with 'they' SAY... uh-huh...

Meanwhile, the swine flu is here, and an 11 year old girl died of it.

It was a headline... 'this is how she died'.

I was disgusted.

Either I get it, or I don't. I spend a part of the day going back and forth on the bus from my place to his, people cough constantly, you grab a bar at the exit door where someone else just held onto with sweaty palms.... And that should make me hysterical, or something.

You get it or you do not.

Fate.

All I can imagine is that there is a mess of scare-mongering out there right now, and it isn't 'seemly'.

Well, looks like the haters won again....

In Maine. It was so close.... And the governor there really put it all into perspective... it isn't about 'marriage'. (God forbid I would have ever had that in my head... eewwww...) It was about upholding the 14th ammendment.... that everyone is equal under the law.

And no, I am not going to go ON here. Approaching the big Six-OHHHHHH... and discovering that my body wants to rebel against me.... my days of activism are sorta over.

I was just sad. People shouldn't be terrorised all their lives for stupid things that are horrible. Whether it was the now 'car guy' and OH high school football hero who sat behind me in homeroom and kept flicking my ear... hard... and whispering to me that I was a faggot....

It was humiliating.

(I later heard there was a rape thing in the football locker room, and the school was abuzz... but can't confirm it. I steered so clear of them, I was in outer space----in my head.)

Or judging you for what you are perceived to be before you even know who you are yourself.

So... another loss. And the Maine governor was on Rachel Maddow, and was believable in backing the No on 1 vote, even tho he had been against the idea a few years ago. Cool guy... he made me even believe him.

So yes, it made me very sad indeed. So many people put all their work into wanting to avert the outcome that has come to be. But they had a very formidable adversary... The Catholic Church. Where the FUCK did they get over one million dollars to oppose it?

Last time (CA) it was the mormons, now them?

Na ja, we are all just gonna haveta suck it up and choke on it, acidic as it is.

The Washington State thingie got approved. Gays can marry, but no benefits that heteros have, but HEY, what progress. And friggin' Kalamazoo passed a non-discrimination act! Whoo-hoo! And a couple of openly gay mayors got elected.

It's progress.... but for someone who grew up under repressive circumstances... and waited and waited for 'change'... that isn't enough I wish for people to grow up and be who they are, and be accepted for it, without the stigma, without the denigration, and just be themselves without fear.

There are days when I fear that it won't come to be... the right wing backlash is so vicious right now, hmmm...

I wish those people pain.

Peter's foot has begun to stink. He has an open wound on his good foot, he doesn't get it attended to nearly often enough... and it can really get 'ripe'. In the sense, you want to throw up even if you are a smoker, and toss your non-existant cookies. That bad.

And when I have to take him downtown, or to the supermarket, it is like running through a bastinade, people hitting on you. I waa in the supermarket this morning, looking for a soup, and this woman I have often seen on the bus made a very denigrating remark about Peter and how he 'stank', and about people who do not wash themselves.

And I said, 'What did you say?'

'Oh, him. Disgusting. Doesn't wash himself.'

And I said, 'His foot is decaying, it is gangrene, and yes it smells bad but he washes. And you should stop and ask before running your mouf.' (Oh yes, close to becoming an 'Oldie', and am already practicing.' It was so impertinent....'

I can't do the tone in fonts but it was really scathing. And she went into Kabuki, deflecting what she had said, and it was sorta horrible.

And we got up to the counter, and the 'nice' cashier went on break, and the 'bad' one took her place. Sabine. She is a young version of AM.

Twice I have gone through THAT gauntlet. She took out an air spray and nearly gagged, being very sensitive in the nose, you see. And sprayed it all over him.

That woman belongs in the back room doing audits where she can't smell anybody.

I hope she dies and goes into a hell where everyone stinks and she will suffer eternal offense of her olfactory senses. Armpits, crotches, back-door farts, whatever.

And I said, 'You know what? I am not going to subject you to this... Let go of the cart, and we will go to Billa.' That store is about three blocks away, and I have respiratory problems, but we got the shopping done.

I have NEVER been so angry.

But there is a parallel here.

Gay people get treated just like that in the US.

The principle is always the same, always.

Being 'different'. There are many ways to be 'different', believe me.

How to tie this togehter? If you are gay, you are different. If you are sick, you are different and a pariah, and it just goes on and on, unless you confront them and tell them to get off your back.

When they tell you you literally stink.

So the defeat of the Maine vote sort of hit me. And they have one hell of a good governor.

Cleve Jones summed it up well today. He was a figure in the film 'Milk'. And turns into an activist in the film. He still is, and was on some shows today. And is still carrying on the meme... if you come out, people won't be so against you because they know you.

Maybe I should do something for elderly people. And the predjudices as above, and just go out and get them.

In the end... it is the same in principle

Should I be relieved or worried?

Today was the final court proceeding against the couch critter, W.

He had been accused of beating up on a former 'girlfriend'. As I have stated before... I didn't believe it for one second. The court found him innocent.

And the reason? Is unsettling. The ultimate one concerned his cell phone. And the court was able to discern that at the time of the 'crime', he was way outside of where she was living, on a street heading even further away from where she lived.

So obviously he couldn't have been there....

Now, the court had asked to look at the records of his cell phone, and he had assumed it was about whom he had called, and when. But cell phones constantly send out radar signals to the nearest tower, it is sort of like radar, or something. And they were able to track his movements at the time of where he was, where he was moving to from one tower to another with a precision that is breath-taking.

I am glad that he had to give his permission for the court to look into where he was at the time of the purported 'crime'. But it is something out of Orwell for me, on the other hand. Everyone runs around with their 'handys' (cell phones) talking up a storm, and it is convenient, to be sure, although I find them a plague the likes of which I have never seen...

But there is a down-side to anything... It means you can not do anything or go anywhere where you won't be watched, somehow. As long as you have a good government, that is ok, but if things were different? As above, he had to consent to them looking into it. Which is good. But the potential for misuse is sorta-kinda frightening.

My cell phone died last week. Am sure I am not going to get another. I don't need Big Brother.

I have been holding back...

I wasn't well, November depresses me to the max, and the weather is matching my mood... Peter is driving me crazy as usual, the air is bad, my asthma is worse.... it's a pit month.

But it hasn't stopped me from following the last days of the off-term elections. After all the blather about the race in NY23, and the unspeakable Sarah from Alaska sabotaging the Republican candidate for being 'too liberal', and going with the 'conservative' candidate, ooooohhhhhhhhh the drama. I didn't know she had weapons of mass destruction, but as we know, she can see Russia, Virginia, New Jersey, and upstate New York from her house. Awesome.

It must have 1050 floors, at LEAST!

And I'll 'betcha' she has her WMD's embedded in her Facebook page.

Who taught her that? Al Quaida? She has a playbook, but so coded that only she knows what is in it because she doesn't do teamwork.... uh uh...

So what is her game plan? Splitting the party, and then leading the crazies in the next presidential bid as an 'independent'? Or what else does she have in her cotton candy brain? What?

If things keep going on like this, I fully expect to find a three-party election in 2012. I do...

On other fronts... well, the elections for governors in NJ and VA are 'seemingly' normal... except the witch from the NW is trying to horn in on what happens...

But the reality is, it isn't a national template. It is local, affecting what local people want.

And last but not least.... two referendums. It looks like Maine will lose it's governors' yes to gay marriage by a very small margin. If they do lose, well the fucking Catholic Church found over one million dollars to squelch it. So where did they get it, after nearly going broke with molestation lawsuits? And in the state of Washington, there is a referendum which will probably pass. But they only have civil unions. Not full rights and benefits, and DUTIES.

And WTF is that whole thing about being a danger to hetero relationships? If YOU fuck it up, it won't be because of us.

It's YOUR thing...

I wouldn't GO NEAR a married man, knowingly. I HAVE been with what I thought was a single man on a Saturday nite, and ran across him on the main drag after church with his wife and kids in tow, and thought, 'what the fuck did I DO? I didn't know that...'

I was devastated. Except HE came on to ME.

I didn't know....

People can get vicitmised in so many ways.

And it is always, ALWAYS, the ones who hide behind their 'religion'.

Will go under the bed, which is like crawling in the closet, and hope for the best...

Waking up tomorrow probably won't be very 'happy'.

oh, here we fucking go again....

An 'American' won the NYC marathon. Uh-huh... I would 'lurv' to compose a fucking rap song about sports and false nationalism. I really would. Stupid spectator sport, hey... and the ones who do it? Get crippled for life. Now that is something to want to achieve to.... Oh YEAH.

I have been behind the scenes at the 1972 Summer Olympics, and I KNOW how those fucking reporters work.

But I have never seen the assinine sort that just came out because an 'American' won the NYC marathon. Or the blow-back, because the guy was a refugee from Eritrea, and got citizenship in 1991.

So the super-right is going ON about it, fits into Obama isn't an American, don't you know, and this GUY, who won a race, gets vilified from certain elements, and it is unwarranted, and just horrible.

What bothers me about 'sports' is that is a nationalistic way of 'waging war'. An author here, Elfriede Jelinek, had a seven hour extravaganza produced in Vienna about seven years ago, called 'Sport'. It was amazing.

And yes, I saw it.

There is something I still do not get about all this. If someone wins in a sport, he or she is the best and should be recognised as 'the best'. The nationality is not really all that important to me. They were the best, and more power to them.

But the patriotic 'Hurrah', and turn it into a nation's triumph? Those people are sick in the head. They never fight for a 'nation'. They do it for THEMSELVES, and work hard to get that award, and deserve to get recognition for themselves. Not for a 'nation'.

BUT... in keeping with the current hateful, disgusting, irrelevant reporting being done right now, and a low-flying reference to 'Obama is not an American, but was born in Kenya theme' ....

This young man gets THIS in the news.