Hmmmm.... Gamlitz and Leibnitz

Was down there yesterday. Everything decorated for the season... This morning, on the telly-phone, he didn't remember I was there yesterday... And yeah, he's got the look, all right... I said I'd been there. He said, 'You were with other people.' I said, 'We were in the smoking room, and there were two odd ladies in there, and you thought one of them was a man.' 'Oh... I forgot.' And then he cried. (That was actually funny, because the lady in question had hair that was so similar to his late Aunt Hildegards, I just corrected him, said, 'Peter, that's a woman. Think Hildegard.' And he busted up laughing.

It turned into a long day, as my ex-colleague Elke asked me to visit for the pre-horridays, and spent a few hours, and there were delicious cookies, and some nice chat about all sorts of things, and her mother is so genuinely nice and funny. Her mother and father have one half of the house, and she and her family the other... it's split, but each has their private sphere, and it can be seen often here, but I don't believe I've ever seen that arrangement in the US.

Elke's Mom had come over to say hello, asked if she could stay and chat a while, which sort of surprised me, as we had met under circumstances that were embarassing for me. (It was the night I was put in lock-down, and I needed to get word out that I was incommunicado, and her first question was, 'Can you please tell me what the hell is going ON here?' Not exactly the way you wanna meet someone's Mom... yeah, embarassing...)

After my day in Gamlitz, I actually wanted to unwind, and be engaging, and not be this depressive, pathetic person, and ask about how their horridays would be, and talk about anything, anything but Peter. But she wasn't having any. Uh-uh. She got right into it.

And as in any house in the countryside, and as in the US, everyone is in the kitchen, which is the most homey place in most houses. And Elke had told me that her mother had 'accompanied' HER father on the same journey Peter is on, so she had very direct, and very kind questions, drawing me out.

As I've often said, the first thing I look at with people are the eyes. And saw kindness, and concern, and interest. So that was the first topic. I showed her the above photo, which looks nicer on the camera screen, and she said, 'Oh, he's very handsome. How old is he?' Bowled me over inside.

Not that it's unusual here. People know, you don't have to go around trumpeting anything out, and fight like Don Quixote going after the windmills. It is never up for discussion, people accept others' relationships, but they take interest if things go very well, or maybe bad, and are basically non-judgemental. It was like having a nice warm bath of care and concern.

And then we got into local politics... because the post office is cutting back and closing down post offices all over the place. My bus stop is at the post office in Gamlitz, and as of yesterday, it is defunct. The post office also has a bank function, and people pick up their pensions there. So on the way down, my hippie chauffeur dropped a woman off at the school stop, and this guy comes up with a thick slavic accent, and asked him where and when he could get a bus to Leibnitz. And my guy says, 'Five to one, across' the street.' Whereupon followed a sort of 'Who's on First' routine that had me in inner hilarity. Till the Slav guy says, 'OH, you mean 12:55?' 'Right. And just so you know... in southern Stryia, we say 'half-one' for 12:30.' I bit my knuckles to keep from laughing outright.

Well, the closure is sort of devastating for the village. They closed down the post office in Wagna next to Leibnitz as well. And got 'partners' so you can pick up your post packages at gas stations and grocery stores. (Is this beginning to sound somehow familiar?) But not your pension. So they have to go to Leibnitz. Now what happens to the old and handicapped who can't afford to go the 36 kilometers to get their check? They can have it sent on to their lockal bank... for a fee. (Getting MORE familiar?)

So the closures were a topic, and I told them about a woman in the smoking room, who Peter thought was a guy, and she was going on, she's one sour lady... 'Typical politicians, election time "Wau, Wau, WAU!" (dog barking) And after? NOTHING!'

Elke's Mom burst out laughing over that. And then we went over media, and my fascination with US politics, and I explained that I mostly watch... because we're gonna get the same in a somewhat weakened form. They're already cutting some medicines which have to be paid in full, the expensive ones.

Heard a lot about that down there as well.

And they understood that as well. And we really got going on the cuts here. This recession is a bitch.

Elke's Mom had to leave for her 'prayer meeting' at the church. (RC) I think she goes for the company, and probably just some good dish. Her humour is just too mischievous. She was gracious, and very kind.

Her father is a mystery. And I KNOW he doesn't like me. Oh he's polite, but he goes and hides. But not alone. As soon as I show up, he drags his son-in-law out of the house, some sort of chore to be done, they are always renovating and improving. It happened in autumn, and again yesterday... so pressing hey, and the devil or 'the Krampus is there'. Her husband kept popping in and out of the kitchen after that listening, grinning at some of our stuff, but he is a quiet guy, handsome, and he and Elke really fit. He must have been a stunner. But am so beyond that.

Before we knew it, three hours flew by, and I had to get my connection, and they drove me to Kaindorf next door, because the train station in Leibnitz is a huge construction site.... at least they still believe in infrastructure here. And the STAIRS, I get vertigo, like panic attacks in Leibnitz, just to get out of there.

Kaindorf is 'safe'. Nice and solid, you go down some stairs and through a passageway, and up another, and whaddaya know... five minutes later the train came and whisked me back to Graz.

And when I got out of the car, it was the usual 'Happy Holidays' thing, wishing good things, and 'Thank yous' for the invite and hospitality... And Elke's husband said, 'Thank you for coming to visit.' And it was honestly meant.

So I guess that was my Christmas.... early.

It felt very very nice.

Admin in Gamlitz... ok, they were good, concerned, and ok with everything.

But I will NOT get maudlin, and into the spirit. Basta. On the other hand... it was good.

Promises, promises......

I promised Millie I would help her unload her trolleys this morning, she had twelve, and wanted to be there shortly after six a.m. The battery in my alarm clock died, so it didn't go off, and got up at 6:22 a.m. cursing a blue streak. So most of this stuff was already unloaded. I did help with the last two, and she had family there helping. As tomorrow is Mother's Day, that stand becomes a mad-house.


And parked the trolleys in a similar alley behind the stands, as per usual. And noticed that the horsechestnut trees are in full bloom.










These flowers are only on sale on Mother's Day week. They have a very strong scent of cloves.






Which means that the fox-glove tree is in full bloom. I only know of five in the city, they aren't native. I can't even describe the scent, it is just wonderful, but doesn't smell like anything I have ever encountered....








I know, I know... have been posting a lot of Spring pictures here the past few days.... Just to take my mind off my foot, and yesterday's jaunt didn't really help much. Actually, have a lot of concerns, and I have never liked 'Spring' all that much... It's a bit gaudy, flaunting all that color after months of grey and black and white. I like the Autumn. This year is a bit different. Stop sometimes, and have my 'moment of Zen'... or something.

Forgot to mention..... Peter got a scare this week. Some woman burst into his room, and exclaimed 'There is a Mannsbild in the bed!' She really freaked him out. 'Mannsbild' literally means, 'man, picture', and is dialect, means 'some guy', and dialect can tickle me to the point of hilarity sometimes...

And I said, 'Oh, don't go any further, I know...' Which brings us to Mother's Day again. When my Mom was ill, shortly before she died, there is a similar story, but will not go into it here. All I said was, 'Listen, the lady was confused and thought she was in her own room, ok? It can happen. You "Mannsbild"...' and went into laughter... that term is so funny for me.

Not so funny was being on autopilot, getting in the elevator, and landing in the basement instead of the first floor... (your second floor, here it is the ground floor, and you count up from there). And the door opened, and I wasn't where I wanted to be. Someone must have called it from down there, but used the stairs. Across from me was a door marked 'Verabschiedungsraum'.

That creeped me the hell out... 'Verabschiedung' means 'taking leave of someone'. 'Raum' means room. Sooo... I guess, when someone is in their last hours, they get taken there, call the nearest family members, and whoever it is 'departs' the planet with their relatives around them, and it is peaceful, and very private. I just hope they have it nicely appointed in that room. Outside looks antiseptic...


So I went back in, and pressed the first floor button, and frantically wanted to get the hell out of there. Typical 'wrong-way RenB'.

No, it wasn't a horror movie. It was upsetting, and I tried to push it out of my head.
Which is why I have been taking 'peaceful' Spring pictures.... I have enough to occupy my thoughts these days... And don't want to be boring, but sometimes.... things get a bit heavy.

It's Friday, so it's another trek south, of course...

This one went without mishap. I snapped this for my cousin, as she really liked these flowering shrubs, so it reminded me she once took a slip home to try to transplant it to NH. And always forgot to ask if it had taken....





Walking from the station in Ehrenhausen to the square, I realised they have a raven on top of the city hall, and the Maypole was up, and very tall indeed, and of course, the church steeple...








Later I walked up the steep hill above Peter's home, and found this sort of 'romantic'.






Took Peter into town, he had some ice cream and strawberries, and found the Maypole in Gamlitz very nice....











And oh yes, there was an old pump I saw, rusted as hell, in a yard...









found a field full of buttercups, looked inviting as a place to spread a blanket and just rest. My foot was hurting, by that time.







And Peter was glad to see me. We checked out the terrace for a bit, but the weather was going changeable, so we went in. It was a quiet day, but everything smelled so nice compared to the city. It was relaxing.

Karfreitag

So now we have the second most obnoxious horridays in the calendar. The country shut down today, and won't re-open till Tuesday, double horriday.... and we can all suck it up.
Terrible scenes at the market this morning, and you would think there is going to be no food left for anybody ever, and they get rude. and rowdy.
Yesterday was 'Not-So-Good' Friday. And my last chance to get down to Gamlitz, and as school is out, the bus schedule was the pits and made it into an odysee.

And then it got worse..... I got my train, and the conductor who checked my ticket said, 'You will have to transfer', and I said, 'I know...' Except I didn't. Soon after we left Graz, there are all these 'service announcements', telling you what the next stops are gonna be, and so on, and I had taken a book along because in this new version, you never see the countryside, because they put up all these walls to keep the noise out from the houses nearest the tracks, you see, and it is like riding in a tunnel. So I read....

But I perked up my ears when I heard, 'This train is only going as far as Werndorf. There are busses outside the station which will continue the course.' And I thought, 'Oh fuck, here we go again...' They picked this week to repair and work on some things on the line, because not so many people ride them, and school is out, you see.

So I transferred to a Postautobus, and off we went in the most unbelieveably convoluted secondary roads and streets on the old system before the Autobahn was built. It was pretty, actually.. but I couldn't get anything good, because I couldn't get a front seat.

But the picture was of Leibnitz, just before we arrived there. Another town dominated by a hill, a former monastery that now houses seminars, and a church....

The bus got stuck behind a tractor, and they can only go about thirty miles an hour... No passing lines on the secondary roads, to speak of.... Whatever, we got to Ehrenhausen 15 minutes later than the train would have... and got dumped out on the highway across from the train station, and had to hoof it a little... Fifty minute's wait, and then I got my connection to Gamlitz. 'My' driver... it is always the same guy.

I would guess he is 35-40, and as I am the only passenger most times, he seems to be intrigued as to why I would go down there so frequently, so I told him at first, and since then, we have our eight-minute dialogues in the noon-time, and afternoons returning. It is nice to have those little chats about nothing in particular, the weather, the upcoming horridays, how traditions differ between the City and the countryside, and I ask him things... (He's straight, Annti... you'd like him...) He gets my sense of humour, and I like to make him laugh. 'Was at the market this morning, you'd think the next famine was about to happen...' Cracked him up. 'We all buy way too much when the long horridays happen, and then we end up having to throw things away...'

'And the hundred gramm ladies, mostly retired.'

He said, 'Huh?'

'Y'know, the ones who order one hundred grams of this, of that, and it never seems to stop, and you are at the market at six in the a.m. , just to get what you need, but they are in a hurry, and you are champing at the bit, because, YOU have to go to work. But THEY are in a hurry, because they have no time....'

I am so glad he didn't drive us off the narrow road, and land us in a culvert. He laughed, and how....

So he got me to my stop, and I went to the home, to find Peter crying. And I said, 'I TOLD you I was going to be an hour later because school is out and the schedule changed...'

But it wasn't because of that. He'd been watching tee-vee. And it was friggin' Good Friday... And he got an overdose of films that depressed him to the max. Although Ben-Hur sort of cheered him up, don't know why.... I can speculate, but don't wanna go there. You do NOT watch tee-vee on Good Friday here if you are ill, or even if you are healthy. And if I see 'The Ten Commandments' one more time, I will barf.

All in all, it was depressing.

I took a snigarrette break, and got the photo above. The countryside is turning green at last.

Whatever, I got him a small bit of Easter bread, and a few colored eggs, and he liked that.

I saw they had a full programme for the seniors, kids reading to them, and today, priests and a boys choir.... (shudder)..... then a Mass, and then an 'Easter Party'.

He wants nothing to do with it, and stays in his room, although there are enough people who would wheel him to the rec/dining room. There are also enough other programs to keep one fit and alert. Nada. All I got was, 'I'm old enough, I don't need to have to look at all the others.'

Uh-huh. I'd be there photographing it, if I could....

On my second break, I stepped outside downstairs, and the woman on duty in administration came out, to 'talk' to me. About finances. I am SO glad I do not have power of attorney. They are supposed to be getting a part of his pension, and the rest gets paid by the state, and it hasn't happened yet. And he wants a subscription to a newspaper, and should I be the one to say ok.... (HUH???) I explained that I have absolutely no say, and they have to work it out with the social services and him, and I cannot decide anything, that I can do small things for him, financially, like take his slips to his bank and hand them over, but nothing else.

And again, am against being gay married to such a financially irresponsible person.

Whatever, got my bus back to Ehrenhausen, and normally have a 45 minute wait for trains, but there was a bus to get me back to Werndorf, and a train back to Graz. And I usally stop into the Gasthaus in this place and call it my purgatory.... The personell is very nice, but it is full of raucous, and rowdy people, and I sit myself down where I can watch the clock.... order a mineral water with lemon.... and read. For them I am a changeling as well. I asked the lady if the schedule had changed, and turned out it was fifteen minutes earlier. And had to go out and wait on the side of the highway to get it. 'You have to travel to learn... ' Mark Twain Happy Easter.

Finally success, after a 'conspiracy'...

I was gonna reveal my plan yesterday, but was really uncertain how our GP would react...

So just call me as stubborn as he is, because the past several days were horrific, and Peter was losing it fast. Wednesdays are not 'Spaghetti Day' at his place... It's 'the doctor makes his weekly house call day'.

Peter threw me out of bed at 8 am, 'come quick, I can't breathe...'

Tja, 'quick'... it is still snowing like crazy, traffic was bad, one of the busses threw everyone off at the 'museum of perception' stop, and I had to hoof it half a mile to get there. He was in the worst shape I ever saw him, and slightly incoherent at intervals.

Soo bustling about from the bed-sitter to the kitchen, I took a moment to write the following note: 'Dear Dr. W, check his lungs because I really think he has pneumonia.' And slipped him the note when he arrived. Our GP was already unsettled last week, but this time he went into action.

We went out to the kitchen, and he said Peter had to go to hospital asap. I said, 'I just can't watch this any more.' And he said, 'I know what you mean...' I told him I had been to the social service people, and that they had been there, but seemingly didn't see what was what.

And then he handed over the papers... to me. Wow, just... wow...

And then, THEN, he told Peter he had to go to hospital. And Peter began yelling, 'You're both conspiring against me!' (Yahooo...) And I said, 'If you don't, I will never come here again.' And the GP said, 'Mr. P.... if you are not in a hospital by tomorrow morning, Mr. B is going to call me and tell me you are not. And then you WILL go...' Peter wanted prescriptions for things that had run out. Dr. W. said, 'You'll get all that.... in the hospital.' And refused to write them up.

Finally, finally!!!!

The Dr. left... and then came the not-so-fun part. 'I'll go in.. later today, gimme the papers.' And I said, 'Oh no you don't, you are going NOW.' And called the waaahhhmbulance. How he was yelling, hey. It was like 'stroke day number 2', and he was angry with me, but I didn't care.

Then came the same-old, same-old, 'We can't hospitalise someone against their will' number, and that is a very good thing in most cases. (And Peter was yelling 'I don't wanna go' in the background.) BUT... I had a back-up. Said, 'Listen, his GP was just here and said he needs to go in.'

So the guy asks, what's his doctor's diagnosis. And I looked, and doctors here have a penmanship that is so horrible I couldn't decipher most of it, but very clearly, 'suspicion of a heart attack.'

BINGO, JACKPOT! 'We will be over right away.'

I ran around packing the most necessary stuff for him. They came in about eight minutes. And couldn't get this huge stretcher on rollers into the room as the entries are too narrow. Wrapped him in a sheet, and asked me to help them carry him out into the entryway, and heave him onto it. Oh man, dead weight, hey.

So now he is where he should have been a week before Christmas, and we wouldn't have had all this fuss.

And oh... just got 'the phone call'. Cripes, he is in the kidney dept of the 2nd med at the Landeskrankenhaus. What the hell that means, don't know, but he isn't angry any more. And is on oxygen.

I shut up his apt, turned the heat down somewhat to save him some costs

And went up the street to get the bus home.... his recently moved in next door neighbor was struggling to get up the street. He is paralysed and in a wheelchair, snow coming down, and the slush was tremendous. Hard going. Some neighbors asked if they could get anything for him from the grocery store, and he said 'No, I have to get to an appointment.' And they went on....

So I went over and said, 'Hey, you want a power-push in all this mess?' And he said 'Oh, yes, thank you...' So I got him over to the bus stop, and we talked for about ten minutes. I was pretty sure he is from the Middle East, from how he looked.... Didn't matter, it took my mind off my troubles for those moments. We didn't talk about anything important, mostly the awful weather.... So the bus came, the driver didn't let down the ramp, as per usual, and I heaved the guy into it. Asked him where he was getting off, and he said, 'Jacki'. So that was my transfer place too, and I eased him off the bus, and said, 'by the way, my name is Ren, and you are????' 'Guido'. 'You gonna get to your appointment ok?' 'Yes thanks...' And off he went in the slush.

So seemingly Italian... see how perceptions deceive? And don't anyone come at me with references to 'Jersey Shore'. Am not in the mood, and yes, have seen clips of that idiocy.
(You have to keep SOME sort of sense of humour, or you go bonkers....)

To top off the year....

Windows XP didn't want to start, and then told me someone had hacked into my system.

Well, Christ almighty, I am really not 'interesting' in any sense of the word.....

It really was the high point in what has been the nadir of my life.

I want to take this last year, crumble it up like aluminum foil, and throw it in the garbage, and I have never felt that way about years... evah.

It began at 4 a.m. I answered some e-mails. Y'know, time differences and all that shit.

And to my utter shock, the post down below got interpreted wrongly, and I had the wrath of the goddess on my head.

So to re-cap..... I do not, repeat, not hate Americans. I learned that something had changed in a broken system and seemingly got better and I was very happy it did, because the policies were so damaging.

There was a back and forth, and before I knew it.... it was nearly nine a.m. and I had told Peter I would be there by then and take him to the bank.

When I got there, he was crying because he thought I'd forgotten. It was terrible.

Just fucking terrible.

But it got worse. It did....

We had some nice bus drivers today. They let out the ramps so I could wheel him up and not fucking HEAVE his 106 kilos into them. Probably because it is a horriday, and they were feeling 'cheery'... Or something. They don't, usually, just look out of winder....

So they don't notice you,

Ya know, if you are lazy or something.

so WOW...

Yeah, today was like a fucking roller-coaster ride.

Except, the drivers were all 'excited'. They zoomed off, braked hard, and if you are standing in one, and used to it...they were not 'normal'. And as we were going back, the driver braked really hard, and I lost my stance. And stumbled and stepped on an old woman's foot... hard.

I'd been concentrating on Peter's wheelchair, and holding it because the brakes are kaputt.

And then I hear, 'OW!' and look behind me..... She must be eighty, or over. It was so horrible, I absolutely am crushed. I would never, Ever, hurt someone intentionally like that. I was ompletely freaked out. It was horrendous. And then she wished me a fucking Happy New Year... Oh gawwdI have NEVER been so mortified. I fell all over myself, apoligising. It was horrible.

As some know.... I have been fighting with the Telly-com. You never want to mess with those folks. I get really nice people on the service line, and ice-cold bitches who probably live at the North Pole, it differs from call to call. Whoever is on the horn, and yes I know, they are service people and probably underpaid, so I am never disrespectful to them.

But some of them... are really of the charts for disresectful. It was about a double of a bill, and the sum was over four hundred Euros. I freaked.I cleared it up, and she calmed me down.

But I told the woman on the line how I had to hear about.... 'he cant get to a phone if he is sick, what if he were to die? ' And got ' that's none of our business. Or when I heard, 'as you might know, after that is Christmas,and I told her that every fool in the world knows when that is, and get off my back.

So I cleared everything up, stressed that I didn't mean her, but that I found some people very obnoxious. And not right in 'the World According to Ren'. You give and get respect in that world....

She seemed sort of shocked. 'None of us are trained so say such horrible things. That is horrible.'

And said, 'No, it was hurtful'.

His connection will be turned back on soon.

Sometimes I feel like Don Quixote going off fighting windmills.

Google has been eating some of my text since I began writing it.

I still got through, and got to the end....

Something isn't right here.

And I am NOT Ghengis Kahn...

It is just about a bad end to a very bad year.

And in that sense... I wish everyone a good new decade... And just btw... This is the third night that I have a leak somewhere, and the air from outside is so toxic, I would like to throw up.