Well now we know for sure when life begins....

There was a radio programme about jewish humour on this morning. So the next time people go hammer and tongs at one another about when human life begins, you can defuse it.

A christian and a jewish man get into the question, and the christian says, 'everybody knows it begins at conception'. And the jewish man says, 'no, it's when a woman first feels a child moving inside her.' And they consult a rabbi to ask who is right.

And he says... 'human life begins when the children are grown and move out of the house.'

I loved it.

It was interesting by the way... but then again Freud maintained that people laugh over good jokes.... because they hurt on some level.

and actually...

Peter's eyes are green with brown flecks in them, but mostly green.. I can never get that on film.

Few things make me laugh outright nowadays, but yesterday? Oh, Elvish! You aren't dead after all!

Yup, was slogging along at my game, trying to 'level'... advance one. BORING...

To 'get' it... as in most such games, there are classes and one of them has to do with elves... there can be Dark Elves, High Elves, (and no the latter has nothing to do with pot or crystal meth), and so on... And the adjective pertaining to them would be 'elvish'.....

Now, playing the game is free of charge. The makers subsist from what they sell for real money in their on-line shops... but you can play it and get through without really having to buy anything. So I guess they prosper nicely. For Halloween, you could buy advanced 'armour' and run around in a Zorro costume, for instance. Only ten Euros or so, and the perks would last for a month. I guess the youngest players love that stuff.

So I was just gathering points, bored, because no one I know was on-line or willing to do a group effort... and it happened.

This figure in an outlandish suit flitted by me on screen... (you see whoever is in your area who is online)... and it was a white suit, and the figure had 70's huge sideburns, and bling, and I thought wtf???? And looked at the avatar's name.


IT WAS ELVISH PRESLEY!


And it was an elf, of course.... I had immediate giggles.

They keep SAYING he isn't dead...

Brilliant, just brilliant. Every time it flitted by, I started laughing again. Best game character name EVAH. I love things that make me smile, or even laugh aloud.

Trick or Treat.....

The programmers of the game I play in Berlin are always inventive. Every Tuesday they turn off their servers for a few hours and fix bugs, or add something new or make an 'event' , as they call it. Some of them are lame, some are interesting. Yesterday they took longer than usual, and had to wait for a huuuuge patch to install itself once they were back up.

The theme of the week is: Halloween! Yay...

They really went all out this time. You always begin in the same place, the town square in an idyllic realm's largest village. And I learned per special notice that there were empty baskets all over the place. And if you got one, you were to go to the 'Halloween Narr (fool)' and you would receive 'candy'. The Halloween Narr is an effigy scarecrow on a crossbar with a pumpkin head and flaming eyes.

Trick or treat in other words. Normally if you have to find things they are few and far between, but not this time. You are generously given all sorts of candy, and I guess there are six sorts.

As is appropriate, the candy is Halloween 'creepy'. Frogs on a stick, dead eye-ball chewing gum, sugar skeleton bones, pumpkin drops, moldy lollipops, candied worms, and so on.

Normally in the game, if you are given 'sweets', they are to be used in the dungeons, and enhance your life force or abilities somehow. So instead of telling you what the candy does, all you get is, 'you have to taste it to find out'. So I tried 'em out.

Takes 'Trick' or 'Treat' to a whole new level. Activate one and it can say 'eeeewwww, horrible'... and you suddenly have minus 20% of your attacking force for two minutes, which isn't good if you're in a fight. Or 'ooh, delicious', and you get a 50% life force increase for five minutes, which is a real 'treat'.

And even within one sort, they aren't uniformly the same effects. Each one is different. Won't go on, just giving you the idea of how it works. I think this is the best Halloween in a long time. Very clever, and I get a week of trick or treating. Who else can say that, right?

Whoever thought this 'event' up really put a lot of work into it, and I think it is as funny as hell. Whoever it was, they must have Halloween as the top 'horriday' of the year.

Apropos Horriday... today is our national one, come around again. You're supposed to go out hiking and take in the beauty of the country. Except the weather is dreary, and there's a fine mist, so will be in-doors. Because we all know what 'mist' means now, right?

Happy trick or treating when the day comes.

And after the War on Christmas... now Halloween

Ahhhh Faux News.... ya gotta hand it to them...

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Ewww, am a 'Red Scorpion'

Saturday, I finally gave in, and my knight in my game joined a guild.

Oh Lord, a guild! Buncha crazy people who obsess over some interest they have in common . Although the only ones I know here who are visible are the Carneval ones. Buncha crazies.

So this figure in the game named 'Joe Black', which I found very fitting, as that was Death's name in 'Death Takes a Holiday'... asked me to join his guild, 'Der Fluch'. (The Curse). Turns out my level is too low and would drag the guild's standing down, so he told me to go to the center of Randol, (always the starting place in the game and from the figures there, I call it 'Rambo'). There I should reach 'Sternchen', (little star) and ask for membership in her guild, which is in reality a subdivision of Der Fluch, which he runs.

So I got admitted to the subdivision, the 'Red Scorpions'. ( 'Hey ma, look down, I finally joined a GANG!') The subdivision is for any figure under level fifty, and Sir Arrogant Numbskull is currently stuck at level 33. I believe I made a grievious mistake somewhere, and can't get any quests, which give you loads of points, and have been having to slog my way through the current level by fighting in the dungeon hours, which gives me about a three per cent increase overall. Drives me nuts. It's sort of a limbo phase.

They call it a farming guild... train you up to play with the big guys.

Joe Black told me that once the figure reaches level fifty, I can automatically become a member of 'The Curse'. Now there's something to look forward to....

And then all hell broke loose on the screen. Windows opening up, people welcoming me to the guild, Joe Black still chatting away, Sternchen saying I should ask her for help, and some Titan saying HE was the leader of the Red Scorpions, and I should contact him if I had questions. It got strenuous having a three-way discussion going on.

I'd figured out most of the things that had befuddled me in the early stages of the game, so there wasn't much... although two things really had me stumped. I was supposed to plant a 'seed of life' somewhere, but was damned if I could find where. Turns out they have coordinates on them, so now the problem is finding the right coordinate. Drive me crazy.

So everyone was nice, and polite, and there seem to be no obligations so far. My figure can run around and do what he does, no forced participation in things it isn't capable of yet anyway. The only difference is that if one of the guild runs across you anywhere, they say hello.

Joe Black was on chat the longest. He's thirty. Thank goodness no more fourteen year olds. I play Sir Arrogant when he is asleep... (I hope). Whatever, we had a good chat, and it was all very easy-going and polite.

I did get the impression that there is lots of competition among the guilds to gain new members. They have battles, you see, and you bring 'glory' to the guild. Or something.

Well, that evening there was an 'event', a 'Chaos Battle' in the desert realm. And Sir Arrogant was asked if he wanted to join. So he got transported three minutes before the beginning, and there was a huge crowd there in front of a castle they had to storm.

My figure jumped the gun to get a head start? And promptly inadvertantly jumped the bridge going into it, landed on the grounds outside the bridge, where there were horrible figures marked in red, which meant he didn't have a chance, (adversaries are color coded), and he was promptly killed in the blink of an eye, which ended the battle for him before it even got really started.

Talk about poor eye-hand coordination with the mouse, hey.

Oh well... next time I will get in the back of the line, and know better.

Whoever programs this stuff really know how to keep people playing and stay curious.

Am still getting the other two figures up to snuff. The High Elf is nearly at Sir Arrogant's level and I still maintain he's blatantly gay, but fights well, and I have a Titan who is getting there. It took me weeks to figure out, but.... you always get mostly stuff from other classes or races, and can make a lot of gold selling them. But if you are doing more than one... well there is a warehouse, so you can store the things they need, and they can pick it up and use it when they are playing, which makes the armour issue much better. They were looking absurd wearing stuff that was patched together as you got them otherwise.

I don't know if I will get the other two to join the same guild, but am certainly NOT going to join one called 'Strassenjungs' (Street Boys) Or Geburtstagskind 1 Jahr (Birthday Child 1 year). Way too icky.

Nah, I sorta like 'The Curse'... and don't make any menustration jokes! I hate these words with double meanings!

Several times I've been asked if I wanted armour upgrades from people on line, and sort of refused. The only 'cheating' going on, if well-meant. Although mostly it was stuff I wouldn't be able to use for a long while, or advice on how to tackle something I was having trouble with. This was before the guild. But I would politely thank them, and say I wanted to 'earn' them.

That has always been my problem. If you can't figure it out, you didn't deserve it. Sort of. Someone teaching you how to do something, but you do it on your own? That's ok. So... silly hour is ended.

Oh, we have a week left?

My badness.... I remember a woman who believed it would happen, the world is ending, so she quit her job, cashed out her joint account with her bank, and took the kids to the Jehovah Witness Temple... and waited, and waited, and waited...

Oddly it didn't happen... in the Nineties, but we can all sort of hope, right? Forget 3D movies and Dolby, we'll get the full effects... or not.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Oh my, am I in trouble????

Oh, guess not, am not a professor, nor in Michigan. Gawwd...

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Fasching Dienstag--aka Mardi Gras

Went downtown for the annual Fasching Dienstag parade. It was loud, mobbed with people, so I just got some photos and left the 'madness'. It was 3 degrees plus, so nothing too wild in the way of costumes. There were a gaggle of kids dressed as lambs with a girl as shepherdess, and the lambs would try to break loose, and she would try to herd them back in. Cute, but they moved too fast. And a man with a weird pair of pants with a fake nekkid ass hanging out with a lipstick kiss on one cheek, and a huuuuge safety pin in his nose. It was odd enough, I guess... You can click through the rest as you wish. The Slovenians had something similar to our Krampus, but the masks are very tiny with birdlike beaks, sort of look like Ibus heads. Very strange.

Crazy ads

Ikea Austria came up with one that is edgy, as they often are. Bisexuals got pissed off. Women got pissed off for them putting women back in the kitchen. (???!!!) It's about a guy who comes home unexpectedly, and the main thing was... Ikea kitchens have lots of big storage space. Yup. I thought it was funny.

Oh, this is cute.... telling someone the time in different regions

It's here. Words mattter, and people don't say things the same way, which leads to people knowing you aren't from 'their' neck of the woods. and it gets freaky. I have touched on this on one of my Gamblitz trips. Telling time is pretty odd, depending on where you are.
So... if it is quarter past ten in the morning... and in Europe, they work with the 24 hour clock, so ten in the evening is 22 o'clock... how y0u would say it varies and can cause confusion.

In the light blue, they say 'quarter after ten'.

In the violet, which coincides with my region, you say, ' a quarter to eleven'. (No shit, it messed my mind at first. If it had meant a quarter of an hour on the way to eleven, it would have been rational, hey.)

The green is a quarter (beginning from) ten....

And the orange is a quarter over ten. I just hope they never go UNDER something. For measurements.

'So.... We all get messed up over time, and time zones, and not even people within one country can agree on how we define or answer the question: ''What time is it? Got the time?'

Isn't that irritating.... or something.

Silliness

Supposed NY trend.... cat-packs. I hope they are just for taking kitties to the vet. When I think of all the cats we had.... I can't imagine taking any of them for a walk that way.... without coming home with your back in shreds, that is.

They didn't wear protective underwear in the 30's....

This photo made me laugh, after being sour all day and don't look at it in large till you read. It reminded me of a day at Rye Beach, to study, of all things. The Goethe Institut of Munich was hosting a summer school at my university, and we were in a group, faculty and students, and actually studying out in the open. I remember reading my first novella in a language that was very foreign to me, and one of the faculty saw me struggling with my dictionary, and gave me the best advice I ever had.

'Do NOT look up every word you do not know. Read the sentences. It will fall into place, and you will begin to understand. Use the dictionary only if you really get STUCK.' I trusted my mentor, although I was sceptical, and all of a sudden, it all clicked, and had to use it less and less.

They were all amazing. I acheived two semesters in eight weeks', and got praise as best in my class for progress. And it was sort of easy for me, and we had much fun, it was never pressurized.

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard or so much in one summer. And we would take short breaks and go into the icy waters of the North Atlantic as one does, when lolling around on a beach, just to keep fresh. And the guys on the German and Austrian faculty.... welllllll... they didn't wear a jock strap under their bathing suits. Which is a must for puritanical American males. So they attracted the attention of the female students, which led to speculation and commentary... because.. if you go into the North Atlantic water... your junk wants to crawl up into your abdomen, because it is so cold.

And one of the women in our group looked at one of the male European teachers clinically, and said, 'Ya know... if you see a guy like that on the beach? He's either European or gay.' I bust out laughing so hard...

Because it was probably true. I hated 'supportive underwear'. It was clammy after you'd get out of the water, and uncomfortable, and sort of disgusting. It would take me years to just go European style and leave it off, and be comfortable on a nude beach in Europe.

On the latter... if you are young and slim... most everybody is really nothing to waste a second look at, just saying.

So the picture... they hadn't invented jockstraps yet? I have no idea. But the kid became famous. He won five Olympic gold medals in swimming. Broke hundreds of records. And turned out to be THE Tarzan, King of the Jungle. Johnny Weißmüller. And was originally from Austria. That Tarzan yell? He once said it was part yodeling, I remember reading that. So he was European, no jock.... and as far as I know, never gay.

So much for that theory.

To end my weekend of amusement to forget other things...

I stopped by Dependable Renegade's site, hadn't been there in ages. She has graphics that bowl me over for funny. She had a great caption for this. So what would you use as one?








This is self explanatory.











For those of you not in the know.... The Koch brothers are two of the richest bastards in 'Murka, and they sink millions into making sure that the country will be ruined. Corrupt? It gives a new meaning to the word. And effectively fomented the dissatisfaction that gave rise to the Tea Party. They pull the strings and jerk their chains. The media always pronounces them as 'Coke', but the name is German, and is pronounced EXACTLY as what the slogan references.


This supposedly exists for real. A stimulus package. I didn't click the link, it gave me the creeps.









The caption to this was something about the dog in the house below about to take a walk, and Kitteh... was waiting.

So much for the weekend. And I hope DR won't be angry for 'borrowing' graphics.....

Just for a Sunday chuckle...

Sarah Palin deviant art.... and you can find more here.

Just to be clear on this: I have never eaten poo-poo

I hadn't checked in on Jesus' General's site for a while now... been more busy than I cared to be. He always has outrageous things to show his followers. And he showed me a clip from Afrika. Uganda, to be exact. I was just shaken, I tell you, shaken.... And after over decades, I seem to have missed some things that would make me nauseous. But feel somehow left out. I GOT a lot of verbal BS in my day, but I never had anyone who wanted me to eat their poo-poo. Thank whomever. Wouldn't have done it.... evah.

Nor did anyone ever try to insert their entire hand into my lower intestine, and work their way in up to their elbow. Therefore, according to this illogic, I can't be a 'homosexualist'.

Well hallelujah, I'm SAVED!!!! I'm so glad, am nearly cheerful, hey....

But did get concerned thinking about our late, great (sometimes grouchy) chancellor Bruno Kreisky. He incensed Parliament by coining the phrase 'lower intestinal acrobats'. So long ago, and I must have been naive. I thought he meant people who flatter, then stab you in the back. Am so not kidding.

Now I am beginning to wonder....

Ok, The General's site is satire, and can be very funny. The remarks above are satirically meant. The clip is mind-blowing, not safe for work, and don't click if minors are looking at your pc over your shoulder. Talk about inciting the villagers into pitch-fork and torch mode. (shakes head in wonderment....) Am not denying that that stuff happens, but to imply everyone does it... is sorta sick.

And still I had to laugh, somehow.

Oh wow....

What is it about the news today. Southwest Airlines found a suspicious box for cargo, and there were 'forty to sixty' human heads in it. My creep-out of the week. They were destined for a research lab, and got detained in Arkansas. Just bizarre....

And only in New Yawk, hey.... this is funny

Oh my.... this is funny...

My friend Annti is nothing if not attentive. She wanted to know who the woman was in the picture I took of an ad two nights ago, and when setting it up, I never noticed it. Why would I pay attention to a lady in underwear after all... And she asked me about it, and I didn't know what she was talking about, till she spelled it out for me.... And I thought, 'WHAA?' Took another look, and sure enough... there is a tiny reflection in there of a woman in a black bra. And I thought, 'why didn't I see that????' Well, guess, duh...

After indicating I was going senile, or something, I went out on the square to investigate. There is a split in the glass walls of the bus stop, and a kiosk across the street, and it was a Palmer's ad. Palmer's sell underwear, and their ads are 'racy' both for men and women. So that is how the sexy woman got into the picture.... It was one a.m., and was on one of my infamous insomnia phases.

So I guess I wasn't being addlebrained. It is so small, I didn't notice. Mystery solved.

Y'know, such ads are so prevalent around here, you end up not paying much attention to them, the one I shot I found funny. And you get sort of blind to the rest, I guess, no big deal.

However, it's a good lesson in not just concentrating on the goal of what you want to photograh, but also to look at the bigger picture. Which is a metaphore for what is going on there, I would think....

So... now we have cleared up the mystery of the lady in dessous. Am glad I didn't dream it.

News depresses me, so I was on YouTube

And went back to Margret Cho's first huge one woman show....

She floors me with her off-the-charts for funny material. And went through, 'I'm The One That I Want. ' The first half is hilarious, but then she got serious. It was about non-acceptance, and denigrating yourself.

The encore was absolutely hilarious. She can poke fun at her korean mother, and slay you. I especially go into hilarity, because, she can DO it. But not hatefully, they just have other ways of saying things even in English, and sometimes they make me smile, but it is never hateful....

The show I saw on YouTube was filmed in San Francisco.

And seemingly, her family had a book store on Polk Street, und her mother would have to unpack the gay porn they sold.

I'm giving you background so you get any kids out of the room, but it is so extroadinarily funny. Ass-bestos... The last line just KILLs me... 'I thought there would be a table of contents.' Brilliant.

So now that I have warned you....