The Ballad of Downtown Amy

Each and every city has its' Beauty....
Pisa her tower, Paris, the Louvre!
And in our town we have our Amy.
Whenever found, she' s on the move!

Well, nobody's sure how the story began,
But one day I heard from my dear old Aunt Jan
That years ago she was so thin and so bland---
Until she ran into that god-awful man!

Well everyone's heard all those clichéd old songs
Of some girl who one day at the altar was wronged;
And quite soon thereafter became strange, then insane!
And rumour has it that's how our Amy changed.

But whatever happened, she's out on the street,
and from sun-up till sundown, she stays on her feet.
Walking along, just undulating those hips!
But all the same, her face won't launch any ships!

A face full and round like the moon when it's full.
Two cherry lips that pout and pucker and pull.
A pair of dark glasses conceal two brown eyes
Which constantly search for that black-hearted guy!

Way back in the Fifties, McCarthy had raged
Against the Commies and the pink-colored plague.
She then attacked cars and anything painted red.
But it was just a phase, or so they all said....

And since the Sixties, she's discovered sex.
Walks up to any man, says: 'How bout it, Tex?'
She's big as a mountain, and three times as strong--
The men just smile sickly and then they are gone.

I've seen her on Ash Street hollering loud:
'Get off my back, you good-for nothing lout!'
And when I looked to see who'd stopped just to stare,
He was invisible.... or no one was there.

She goes to the movies, and talks to the screen.
And should a love-scene start, 'DON'T DO IT!' she'll scream
So now she'll watch Westerns, and even Bruce Lee.
But you will never see the films that she sees....

She'll sing like and angel, then stop just to spit.
When she hears music her lewd gyrations won't quit.
And every few months, she will get out of hand,
And then gets carted off to Loony-Tune Land.

When she's not downtown, where does she go?
Well, no one's ever said for sure that they know.
But I've heard she lives down on Memory Lane,
And that her parents never lived down her shame.

I've since heard that Amy has become tame.
She no longer whistles, or calls people names.
They've put her on drugs, and she's as sweet as can be.
She now stays at home and sits and watches teevee.

Yes, each and every city has its' Beauty
Unlike no thing you've ever seen
And in our town, we had our Amy..
Who lost out to the teevee screen