Zombies in Berlin

I have been looking for a link to this on the Phoenix TV website for a couple of days now, but can only find----nothing. The channel only brings historical documentaries for the most part and is very interesting. And occasionally round-table discussions.

A couple of days ago Peter saw one of the latter and it was about Obama's speech in Berlin. Peter said it was a good thing I wasn't there, because one of the panelists was an American journalist who lives and works in Berlin. And she was awful, to his perspective and he said I would have thrown things at the tee-vee if I had seen her.

So he went down the list of all the horrible crap she dished out.

Sounded familiar. And I said, 'Oh. So? She's just another Republican....'
'She didn't SAY that she was,' he countered.
'She didn't HAVE to, I see her line of thinking on the Internets all the time, hey.'

But she went over the top, as those mouthpieces always do, and said she didn't understand the 250,000 Berliners who were there to hear him. 'They were like utter zombies,' she maintained.

(During the original broadcast, the crowd estimates were at 400,000 according t the talking heads reporting on it, but the media changed it the next day and pared it down to 250,000. I have been on that huge avenue, and judging from what I saw, I still believe the original estimate was the right one.... whatever....)

She added insult to injury, denigrating the crowd there, and said she didn't understand them. Well, I certainly can believe the latter, all right.... The rest of the panel were highly insulted and attacked her, except for the Austrian journalist there. He just said, 'You know... that doesn't even qualify an answer, and I will not reply to it. I just do not want to talk to you.'

Austrian the way I like it. And of course her head figuratively exploded.

Interestingly, the meme got out into the msm in the US, it seems, and the Germans, and especially the Berliner are once again 'suspect'. Interesting, isn't it.

Well, if I were one of those people, I still wouldn't worry about travelling here. The worst the Zombies would do would be to verbally vilify them. But they wouldn't eat them. Too bitter, and probably deadly poisonous.....

So.... have you hugged a zombie today? Hmmmm? Mmmmm!

Jealousy... you never know where the green-eyed monster is going to turn up....

My day wasn't fun.... hope yours was. I had to humple where I had to go, and the air was sultry and humid, and it made my ankle hurt. This is progress, btw.... The last three weeks were a martyrdom... As in.... it fucking hurt.

My new neighbors, the pretty ones, have been doing a beach party on the strip of green outside these past few days. For their two year old, Anna, who is just learning to talk. She looks like a veritable cherub, she does.... Points at me, and says 'René.' Wow, the third word I have heard her say.... (smile). It goes so fast when they start prattling, and brought back some fond memories of when I was young, and baby-sat my cousin's daughter.

But mostly, I got my 'stuff' done and sent off an email for an appointment at 'the BUNKER'. With a cc to the unemployment people to make it look like I am at least trying.... And then the phone rang.

It was someone wanting to look up a telephone number. A dangerous neighbor. And they can rattle me, oh yes. Well if you do not know where they are living, it is very hard to find that in the local internets telephone book, which I guess is what they wanted. So I had to go over. And THEN Preciousses, I got a two-hour 'Intervention', that I really did NOT need. Not from them especially. About my Peter.... Fuck...

And they were angry that I 'visit' the French Foreign Legion Guy, and not them. And THOSE are are two pair of shoes, as we say. The FFL guy never yells at me. Or tells me what to do with my life. These people do the latter. And.... they go at one another like cats and dogs. And you end up on the side-lines, watching. Oh, no. I hate that. And I told them that. 'I didn't say hello, because you were busy fighting, or it very much sounded like it, and than I just make a wiiiide circle around your mess.' (I was angry, and wouldn't have used that last word, but I did.)

But today.. they never went that far before...

Concern trolls. Just fucking concern trolls, and they made me angry.....

Certainly because there was truth there... but they twisted it, and should just go where the pepper grows, hey.

So no, otherwise no news... and I am very, very tired.

I.... am certifyably STUPID. Oh yes, I am...

I got this letter from the unemployment office to go and apply for a job as receptionist at a BUNKER of an hotel. So today, my foot was half-way good. And I still have to use a cane to get around. So I got myself all spruced up, white shirt, tie, suit coat, whatever. And got on the bus and went out there. (You either go or they cut off your unemployment money, and I need a signature on the fucking form.) Using the bus was a nuisance. The distance from the bus stop to the hotel was long----if you have to use a cane. Dirty, hot day, humid. Disgusting.

So I humpled up into the lobby, and said, 'I have this letter here saying I have to apply for a receptionist job. Is it still open? I couldn't get here any sooner. I sprained my leg.' And all these twenty-something young things were in and out looking at my papers.

Do you have any papers, an official application, your life's experience, and a report from the people you worked for last?

Talk about feeling like getting pissed on. Not that I have, but I imagine it would be like that....

I said, 'No, but can I make an appointment?'

'Call, or do it per internet.' The head of the personnel dept. wasn't there today. Swell, I sweat blood getting there, and that was all I got an a card. Thirty two years ago, you could walk off the street after reading a want ad, get an interview, and that was ok... Now?

My very dear colleague had asked me on Sunday if I had gotten a report, and I said no, I had been too sick to even think of that. But I have to provide one. And yesterday, I had called my former place of business, and another 'good' colleague was on the horn, and when I asked him about it, he said, 'YOU talk to HER.' And I thought, 'no WAY.' He sounded frightened to even broach the subject with her. Which means she was way off the charts for rage about 'something'....

So I mailed the one person in Vienna of the bosses who seems to like me, and explained, and politely asked for one from THEM, in Vienna, not from Graz. I also let him know that what they 'thought' was best... wasn't. Am convinced they didn't know what would happen....

So that they will not do that to anyone else..... you know?

So far no answer, but he doesn't mail. But I hope to get one in my mail-box in a couple of days....

So NOW I have to prepare some papers, Preciousses. A Lebenslauf. (The story of your life in short form. Data, education, where you worked, etc.) And an official request to be a coolie for a pittance. (They pay shit, believe me...) But I fucking NEED that signature, so will have to get cracking.

Isn't life just FUCKING great.....

At least I didn't go into nerve fever or throw up.

Well... the scene is set, and what a weekend....

It began so well, you know? Invitation to an informal gathering with my new neighbors, salad, wine, and fun. I've been a hermit for so long, it was very nice to vent, and they were gracious and funny, and young and beautiful and talented.

Then I got stubborn at two thirty in the a.m. and decided to get sniggarettes from the machine across the square. Oh yes, I need that first one when I get up and hit the WC. And it was so late, and was so ruminating on the evening...... I forgot to take my bank card out of the machine.

It never turned up. So I blocked it this morning, and was down to my last 3 Euros, it was Saturday, and I was supposed to get food for the weekend. Man, was I pissed off. The foreign legion guy lent me enough to get by on. I've lent him money, and he always paid it back---unlike some people I have known, btw.

Sunday I went to see my favourite former colleague, who is back from vacation, humple in on my cane, and she looks at me and says, 'May I help you?' She didn't recognise me right off in a polo shirt, jeans, and a beard. So I give her my 'LOOK', and her eyes widened, and then everything was ok. Stayed for a coffee and give her a dvd to watch, we got caught up, but my foot was killing me. I hadn't walked that far in a long time.... She was all over me like hot soup.

Whatever, I had so overdone it going up there, I could only stay a short time at Peter's and ended up in bed for the rest of the day.

Today I got my bank thing taken care of, and had the usual aggravation at Peter's. GAWWWD
EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR BIZNESS. The postman wanted to know if he was getting a new appartment for the handicapped, because he saw the contract when he delivered it, and 'mentioned that he had put it in on Friday, and he hadn't picked it up yet, and the 75 year old Walter, who is nice and in the building across the way and his television goes all night (you can see the blue flashes if you are insomniac in his wqindow, but is never loud...) stops me in the supermarket and wants to know who the man in the wheelchair is that I often wheel around, and what the hell happened to my foot. We spoke pleasantly, but it creeps me out. Am never so curious, and only know that he watches tv all night because I am often sleepless, look out the winder, and see the light flashing down there. The only thing I know about him. Pleasant, says hello, am friendly, say hello, and that is IT.

Ok, am not a paragon of discretion, true. People can get you to talking, and boy, howdy, I can say the next day, 'ooooh, why did you say that?' But it was my shit that I wanted to impart.

And tomorrow, I have to go to this shit BUNKER of a hotel and officially apply for a job. Which meant gettting myself half-way presentable. I don't want to work there. So I had to go to Enver after lunch, my barber, hair person. He does NOT like my goatee, which is nearly all white now, but I like it.

I told him, we have to do something about the beard, and he said hopefully, 'shave it off?' And I said, 'NO, just get it into SHAPE! I don't know HOW...' He did a wonderful job. And I watched what you have to do, so that I can keep it that way. But only having been shaved once in my life before, it still weirded me out. He is very, very careful. And when he lathers up the soap and gets out the straight razor, and leans you back..... All I get in my teeth fillings per radio is 'Pretty Women'. Watched Sweeney Todd four times before borrowing it out, so not unusual. But I never knew what a pleasure it is just to lean back, and trust someone to go at you with a straight razor, and leave the rest of your face and neck as smooth as a baby's arse. My Bics have never done that, that is for sure.... I neet the toilet paper for the nicks, and when you pull it off, it bleeds again. Although it feels very vunerable when that straight razor plays about your Adam's apple.

It was the second time, and he seemed morose about it, but I was very pleased. So I said, 'Thank you, this is very nice.' 'You have to come back next week. Summer cut. You have beautiful hair.' Now what was THAT all about?

Und Jeebus Fucking Christ on a Donkey, hey. My hair is nearly all white now. Thanks to people who shall not be named.... But what the fuck, he deals in hair, what the hell do I know????

Whatever, the scene is set, I go to the fucking interview, and get tanked.

But I will be 'presentable.' Except, at the moment, I still can't get around without a cane. Now THAT will make an impression..... Not. It gets a little better every day, however. And is so painful... At least most of the swelling has gone down and I can take the bus.

And get my signature so they do not cut off my unemployment.

Oh. Looks like 'vacation' is over.....

hBefore I go into THAT... the German news this morning suddenly maintained that there were 'nly' 23,00 people out to see Barry in Berlin yesterday. So they halved it. After saying there were 450.000 people there. Boy, he must have scared someone, that is for sure....

Was over at Peter's. Absconded with Sweeney after we watched it again so I can lend it to a former colleague of mine, who loves it.....

Tja, how to put this, huh? I found a fucking letter from the unemployment office when I got home. Oh, they are good.... I don't have to present myself there before October, but oh no.... I have to go present myself for a new job. Somebody has a flea up their ass, that is for sure.... This is JULY! In July and August, everyone goes on vacation. No one works. BUT....

It turns out that a big hotel a bus-ride away is looking for a receptionist, you see, and one of the left-behinds sent me a letter to go there and 'present' myself and try to get the position. Even theough the damned pension people are still sitting on their hands. And for swing-shifts to top it off.... I was not pleased, Preciousses, but bureaucracy here... well you would end up with a tome the size of a dictionary here if you were to attempt to describe it. And this time, if I do not go, I lose my fucking pittance for unemployment.

Tja, so I will go over there on Monday. What FUN. I know the establishment, and they are exactly as cheap as anyone downtown, oh yes. Want a lot, pay little.

It will be especially fun to walk in with a cane, hey, because I still can't do without it yet. And will not shave off my new beard. I will get it trimmed tomorrow. No more Caspar Milquetoast. And at my age? No way I get hired. I just have to go over and humiliate myself. Right.... fun...

Where the FUCK do people get off, ruining my July? I already DECLARED this year CANCELLED! And I sincerely need to be left the fuck alone.

Is that so hard to understand? Shit, am going back under the bed....

Oh. my. Gawd, Barry, what did you DO?

Am live-blogging Obama in Berlin.

Jeebus, Barry, how did you get nearly one half-million people out on the street in Berlin like a fucking Rock-Star? I am absolutely speechless. They are comparing the former President Clinton to the crowd he is drawing. But there are so many young people out there in comparison, Big Dog couldn't draw them like Obama.

It is astonishing. And they are so hopeful. And believe me... there aren't a half million Amis in Berlin.... It is a securtiy nightmare. The Germans are screaming, he is going to speak. Hysteria.

Oh yes, he is so charismatic.

Thank you. blah blah, and screeds of screaming O-ba-ma. Thanks the gov't for the welcome, and the people of Berlin and Germany. Goes into his familial background. Oh... binds this into how people are free now, and ties it into the air-bridge that saved West Berlin. So they were just as in having straining to be free. Air lift, air, lift, air lift, but they didn't give in and had hope. And one day they heard the mayor plea for them not to give up. And now see what you have created....

Oh gawd, now the Marshall Plan. And the world stands as one. Sixty years later we are called on again to bring the world together again. I can't type this fast on my pc. Just listed all the shit the US did, and how they should be ashamed, but want to rebuild their rep. And that the US has forgotten history, but there are differences, but wants to come nearer to the rest of the world and is the only way to come together again. Warns again against building new walls between nations, religions, governments, and people. More More More, not just in Berlin.

They need people who trust one another, and the US can't leave Europe alone, and they all have to work togehter. He is charming the crowd. Note on Muslims, and telling the crowd, one has to stand together. Keeps comparing the situation between what they want to do in Afghanistan to Northern Ireland, doesn't want nuclear weapons....

This is the time to choose your path, he says, to the European people, and go a new way to share wealth, and go on, and gain wealth, for everyone, not just for a few..... Combined with not dealing with nuclear weapons. And wants to end the war in Iraq.

Oh, God, now it is the environment. Nice that he is promising everything. This is what half a million people came to hear. And Here we go again with the air-lift. 'Tja, we helped you so you know, right?' Darfur keeps coming up. Oh yes, and now they are going to be so liberal. Right.

Oh, they made mistakes. Yup, but he thinks they can be better, and hopes are better than what was. (Give me a break, hey-.)

OOh my god, and all we get is hope. Uh-huh.

The crowd is going nuts. And it has to be the biggest show of cojones I have ever seen. To get up and speak in front of nearly half a million people is AMAZING, when we have seen the hand-picked idiots who were cheerleaaders for Dumbya.

The Germans are optimistic, but MY GOD, they are still going on in the German media about McINsane. You could just throw up.

Am back unter the bed.
t

Oh.,... BARRY is in Berlin. Okayyyy...

Trying to be JFK? Oh no... No. Those were other times, they were.... The latter gave hope and optimism. Barry? I haven't the slightest idea what he is going to impart. But am certain it will be a big help after all the damage Dumbya and co have done. Despite the fact that I am still incensed that he fucking voted to grant the telecoms retroactive immunity. I could just SPIT, as my Mom used to say...

He is gonna speak in front of the victory column in Berlin. I have been there. It is huge, and five avenues spread out from it. I got dragged up to the top of it in the early Seventies. I have an abnormal fear of heights, and when you come out the door on top, there is a railing, and everything, but the place to stand on is very narrow, and slopes down. And I remember slamming myself against the wall next to the door, and saying, 'Oh.... ohhhh...' And my host was going ON about the view, and I was being polite, you know? 'Oh yes, yes, wonderful..... NOW PLEASE, Please take me back DOWN. Please.' It was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

But Barry will be ok, because he will be at the base of it, and not have to go UP there. They had wanted him to speak in front of Brandenburg Gate, which is a stone's throw away, but chancellor Angela Merkel nixed it, because only residing preidents speak there. Big deal. Petty.... Stoopid... Who the fuck cares, hey.... They expect as many as one million people there this evening.... A nightmare for security, that is for sure....

Obama and Merkel met this morning. From the body language, she was being 'friendly', several touches on the arm. He was reserved, if smiling. What a difference from Dumbya mauling her when she was unaware, from behind and so on. I'm surprised she didn't have a heart attack when that happened, really....

The media in Germany is being 'hinterlistig', sneaky snarky. They brought a lot of 'man on the street' interviews this morning, mostly racist in undertone, and complaining about the security measures interrupting their daily lives. Uh-huh. Well. Security may be on high alert, and all, but they didn't demand that all the sewer covers on all the routes taken be sealed shut, so that no assassin jumps out of one like in 'The Third Man'. Or give people on the routes more or less a house arrest, as was the case everytime that ASSHOLE 'visited' us. Leaving the hosting country to pay the costs, and all.... So what is wrong with THIS picture, huh? Gawd, it is so OBVIOUS, I could puke, but I gave that up for the time being.... Slanted 'journalism'? Oh, believe it, hey.

The second big story is the 'capture' of Karadzic. Right. Serbia wants to join the EU, and the government who wants to get in give him up. They always knew where he was.... They'll probably give up Mladic soon as well. Expediency, my Preciousses. Just expediency. So how long is it gonna take to get the US into a postition to turn over Bush and Cheney for war crimes, I wonder? Because what THEY have done FAR exceeds what the Serbs did. It will take years, or never.... But one can dream....

Will try to live-blog Barry's speech this evening. Am just tired, and my foot hurts.

Oh, just give me a break, hey...

Does anyone have ANY idea how to keep someone's appetite up after they reach a certain age? Am despairing, here.....

Movie Review.... Sweeney Todd

Do nRun. Do not walk. And add this to your dvd collection. I guarantee you will watch this over and over. Will admit I was sceptical when the film came out, and not so pleased with the clips I saw on the internet. Using untrained singers to film one of the best musicals ever written.... But it fucking WORKS. My copy arrived yesterday. And within two minutes I was hooked. It is rough-edged, but brilliant. And very creepy, oh yes... And tragic, and very bloody, which film can do and the stage usually can not.... It is a bit compressed in comparison to the stage version, but oh MY, that music makes your heart swell, not joking. It is all of one cloth, in its' look, the performances, the horrific story, underscored by the best music I have ever heard. I would even reccomend the two-disc version, because you get two hours of absolutely fascinating background, which most of those things never give you. Historians, experts, and of course, Steven Sondheim himself, who has never spoken so openly about this work before, to my knowledge.

Have seen three versions of this so far. And one of the real key roles is Mrs. Lovett. Angela Lansbury was the original and so 'dotty' it was hilarious. Patti LuPone was closer to the age of her Sweeney in the concert version, and added this very intense, 'am in love but it is hopeless' twist to it. Helena Bonham Carter in the film adds something very new. Absolutely amoral. Creepy... Love has nothing to do with it. Fascinating how someone can take a role and use the same text, and make it new. All of the Sweeneys I have seen are pretty much the same. Obsessed, tortured inside, and way out for revenge. Johnny Depp can be proud of what he created in this film, but he is renowned for being a 'serious' actor. And the score is one bitch of a difficult one... But he did it like a punk-rock star. And it worked.

And still, and still... it is always about the music, that wonderful score. I always go to pieces when little Toby does 'Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around'. But that has private reasons. I first heard it the first time Peter was hospitalised, and it blew me away. But every number in that makes my arm hairs.... the few that I have... stand up and gives me the shivers.

And all the rest of it. It is a very diabolical piece of work, actually. The music lifts you up, and the texts are so diametrically opposed, it can creep you out.

I guess that is what genius is.....

So... what are you waiting around here for? Go look. But above all.... listen. And no, it doesn't need a big screen. It's the music....

Ok.... Just shoot me. NOW.

Yes, it is that sort of day here. And they DO shoot horses, don't they? First I get up, and my foot went down so it doesn't look like a ham hock. That was good.... And got the basics done for Peter, and by the time I got there, it hurt like hell-fire, and I couldn't really cook. Ooohhh... swell.

I wanted to leave by noon, it was unbearable. Whereupon my neighbor W., the French Foreign Legtion guy called me on my cell. Which always, ALWAYS drives Peter to distraction for jealousy. Whereupon I must MUST add, the FFL guy is so straight, they don't MAKE them like that any more! Gott.... I wasn't in his mansard attic for three days, and he likes me to translate for him. His 'angeels, and Goddesses... I saw no way to get up the stairs in the afternoons...

To review... he hates Americans, but thinks I'm 'ok'. Uh-huh. Whatever, I went up there after Peter today.... He needed a translation programme, you know? Where he can write in German, and it translates to English. OH GAWD, the free stuff is so bad, I mean I had an hilarious time with Babelfish, but that wasn't what he needs. I finally found one. It took hours, and my leg was killing me by that time... So I taught him how to use it. It isn't perfect, but it works. And I told him I feel uncomfortable about being the third wheel on the bicycle, and so on. It is HIS stuff, and he KNOWS about MY stuff.... I suppose if you were to ask him, he would see me with the one word 'Camaderie'. And that is pretty daunting.... If nice.... We can talk about all sorts of things, and yes, he can make me laugh in a way I never experienced before. Just jock talk. I never experienced that before, just guys being pigs, well, not, but just open. Odd for me. Very odd.
So that seemed to be ok. I mean, here is this person who doesn't know me from a hole in the ground, and he gives me all his entry ID's and Passwords to all his sites? I wouldn't even give mine to PETER!

And no, will not misuse that trust, but I did tell him, 'What the FUCK do you think you are DOING?' Gewalt.....

So I thought the day was over, and got me some food for supper. There is this poor man from Nigeria who always sells magazines about immigrants because he can't get a work permit. We were always 'jolly', but one day some months ago, I was going home with a dvd in hand, and he asked me what it was. Tja. It was Brokeback Mountain. Nigerians and gays, Preciousses.... Just FORGET it. He cut me off as if I were contagious. And he did NOT like that I have mixed blood in my family. I was amazed. Two strikes and I was just OUT.

So this evening, after ten days of humpling about with a cane, I come out of the supermarket. He hasn't spoken to me personally since the above, but if I wheel Peter in there, he is very nice to him and greets him. And he got this 'beligerent' look on his face, and said, 'It HURTS me to see you in so much pain, and you should see a doctor! Have you got pain pills? Is anyone DOING antything? ' Well whaddaya know.... And I said, 'How kind of you. Yes. I have some salves. It takes time, John. But thank you for asking. That means more than you know....'

Isn't it ODD that you get a little moral boost from those you least expect it from? His instant rejection of me reminded me of my brother's reaction. And he wasn't 'family'. Just an acqaintance. I think he knows that he hurt my feelings. But he opened up a little channel where we can speak again. And NO, I have no 'feelings' other than friendship if it could possibly be.

You know, the arm-punching asshole things guys do.... and to learn from one another....

Sorry, am being maudlin this evening. But that was a lot to take....

Oh My Bones, and 'shake me up., Judy...

-That is after the fact, hey. I get ready to go out after an afternoon nap, because me leg is killing me and the door-bell rings. My neighbor. Well, sleepy-heads, it is high summer and killer heat. And all I wear is a tee-shirt and boxer shorts. It was my new neighbor. He wanted to know if I had any tools....

I didn't know whether to break into hilariouty or cry. I have two tiny screw-drivers and a hammer, that is it. I am not your mr. fix-it, am all thumbs.

And THEN he goes, 'God, your leg!' I said, 'Whaaa?' 'The one you hurt is twice the size of the other side... '
Uh-Huh.... And whaddaya know, it really was.... 'You should REALLY go to a hospital, hey....' Right, I go to a hospital, get written up sick, and get NO money. Fine. NO WAY. Period. End of discgusting... Discussion. NO.
Doctors have done enough to me this year. God gave us ice packs. And my leg will be good again.... Am not really up for body changes, thenk you...But it was sort of odd.

;My left leg looks as if it belongs to the fat lady at the circus....

But it hurts less....

I've had foot sprains, but this one is the pits.... I'll be tap dancing and snoopy dancing by the end of next week, promise...

Oooo, Sweeney Todd is coming out on dvd next week...

I pre-ordered it per Amazon, of course. I couldn't take Peter to see that back then, it was too long, and he has this bladder thing since his stroke. At home, I can pause the dvd till he gets his stuff done, you know? No, not amusing. But we both love the music and the story, even if it is weird.

So this morning, Preciousses, I was feeling like Gollum after he spent one thousand years in a cave in Middle Earth, eating fishessss ... oh yes. (sorry, some almost relatives of mine have been in New Zealand the past weeks, and it was on my mind.... Middle Earth.)

Whatever, I says, 'why don't you stop this self pitying shit and get yourself together for a change?' It was my other Gollum talking.... And I said, 'Ok, my sprain is still hurting, but can get over there...' And the Gollum said, 'Fuck the sprain, you will be tap-dancing in two weeks, Precious...' Right...

So I went to my barber. First he cut my hair. Then he gave me a beard that doesn't make me look like a beggar on the main square. My face just doesn't grow thick hair all over the place. So we had to comprimise. I asked him what to do about it, and what did he say?

'Cut it all off??'

Well that is pretty much a disaster, after just letting it grow in this heat, hey.... It is itchy, scratchy...

We comprimised.

And then came the Sweeney Todd part. I have never been shaved by a barbar. He had me tilted in his chair and whistled around lathering up some cream that smelled like lavender. I was thinking about Sweeney Todd, and it was sort of creepy. Letting someone go at you with a straight razor, and all. But he was so good, it turned out ok, obviously. He was so gentle, I hardly felt it....

It jsut gave a new dimension to what I am going to see soon....

And when he finally finished with me, he said, 'hey, you look much younger', but he doesnt like the beard. He did wonders, and I don't care. I do not want to look like Caspar Milquetoast any more....

And oh yes, there is a LOT I have to say about other things, but am gathering up my immense anger, and will discharge it accordingly.

I got so fucked over, am just beginning to find my feet again, and then I sprain one....

Typical...

Third World hetero Dating Blogs... uh HUH...

Ok, I KNOW about the other ones, oh BOY do I know. Not recommended. But at least the other ones are honest in what they write, more or less.... But the foreign het ones, oh. my. gawd. Some of them are so sad, they freak me.
##So why do I even bother? I sort of got roped into it by a neighbor who can't speak English. And asked me to fix his pc as best I could, and install programmes so he could speak with his 'desirable women' -- for him, that is... Crash course in another world, hey.
This GUY, my neighbor is so dammed up, he is gonna have a premature ejaculation if he ever GETS to meeting one of them, I swear on the Bible, or whatever......
Or sire sextuplets, one or the other....

Sigh... WHY do I DO these things? Peter is off the charts for jealousy.... Oh, I know!... I wanted to know what makes him tick and do what he did, joining the Foreign Legion, right. And I was bored.... And just wanted to listen. Like most Aires people, he can be very persuasive and manipulative. Why do I always fall for that? Caretaker. So have been taking care to code a lot of messages so that those poor girls do not answer. He hasn't caught on yet. He's like a kid after WWII who just saw his first smorgasbord, and wants it all and can't make up his mind. It is sort of creepy, in fact.
Tja, I didn't have anything ELSE to do.... And he looked like he could turn into a short story. Materialwise... So I thought, hmm, what is going ON here, huh?
WE get into so many arguments with the installation stuff, I could just cold-cock him, sometimes, except he doesn't think I have the necessary aggression. He is very wrong.

But if I really get verbally aggressive and let my mother's genes take the fore when he has gone too far, his military training takes over, and he goes 'obedient'. Gets quiet. And then apologises when I prove I am right.

And then he goes and cooks something. Cooks well, btw. Simple, but good. A mass of contradictions, and just when you think you got the key, you didn't.

Oh well, we shall see, won't we? But am going to have to find a bloody way to be able to stop translating his dribble to salivating young ladies who want to flee and marry abroad. It makes me feel dirty. Some of them are really lovely, and seem very nice. Others are skeery....

Whatever.... It is interesting to take a look at the 'other' side...

Gawwd, what is it with young people nowadays?

I was trying, 'trying very discreetly' to get out of my house last night, and my new neighbors were in the green strip between our two buildings. They promptly jumped up and went and got them for me. They are twenty-somethings. And did I mention pretty? Oh, very. Both of them.

They were actually interested in my sitting there and getting to know them. Well, what would they want to know from the old disheveled fart from across the entryway, hey?

Whatever, it was very nice. And the young lady's mom and my biological nemesis of a mother seem to have had a lot in common. Maybe she was the 'twin', I do not know. We found we had a lot in common that people generally do not approve of. And I tried to impart some good advice, being a 'gruftie' (near the grave person) and all. And I got kissed good night, from the prettiest young lady I have seen in years. It almost made the pain in my ankle go away.

Two of their friends came and went while we were out there. Also very young. They made me smile muchly....

And feel very old, nothing from their side, from mine.

When I think of what a HUGE divide there was between generations in the 60's, this puzzles me. But is nice enough.

And no, will not impose myself on them. It was just coincidence. But it was a nice one...

And there is enough aggressive attitude toward Oldies here, which makes me just wonder, ok?

Tja....

HOW do you go about saying 'Enough!' and cancel this vermaleite Year??

Let's see... I get up, and the assholes in Washington gave the telecoms retroactive immunity, so there ARE people who break the law with impunity, and get away with it. Even though the fight not to let that happen was gigantic, and kudos to everyone who fought it.

More boats with refugees from Africa trying to reach Europe, and children dying on them of heat prostration, so they just tossed the corpses overboard, fish food. Heart-breaking.

Two evenings ago I slipped on one of my throw rugs and twisted my ankle so badly.... pain, much pain. I can't even get out of the house. At least I can get from the WC to the bed and back today. Yesterday was a sea of red. Pain. And am not the sort of person who gibbers about easily, but that fucking hurt. I could hardly put any weight on my left foot yesterday, nor find a position in bed where it didn't hurt so bad, I would have liked to have taken an axe and cut it off.

This morning, it took me ten minutes to get a shoe on. And then I went to the bank, the tobacconist, and the grocery store, because I didn't have anything left in the house. It was an odyssey, but I didn't whimper or complain. That was a big bit of progress, but the stairs... Oh gawwd, came home drenched.

After everything else this year, I really want to cancel and get ON with things, you know?

My neighbor W. called me this noon, and asked after how I'm doing. Said he would check with me later today, if I should need anything. Which is ok....

At least I now know he knows what the word neighbor means. And he yelled at me for not seeing a doctor. Only one question to that: 'HOW?' I mean, I've sprained my ankle a few times in my salad days, roller-skating or just being a klutz, but this time. Oh, man!

So you go the invalid route and see the rest of the world going to pot. Let's just cancel this year, ok? And get on with the rest....

Just sayin'.

Preposterous, I know...

Christ, what a week......

Didn't I already SAY this year should be cancelled? I sprained my ankle and it hurts so bad, I can't even get out of the house to buy sniggarettes....

And the phone just rang, and I thought it was Peter again, so I yelled, 'WHAT? WHAT? You know what is wrong and it is KILLING me to walk to the phone, you idiot.' Except it wasn't Peter. It was a company from a former interntets provider I had at the beginning, many years ago, and they had a payment of 200 Euros from my account because back then, I just had my bank send it monthly.

GAAAWWD. Embarassment? Check. Wanting to fall through the floor and die? Check. Falling all over yourself for excusing rude behaviour? Oh yes, check. The lady was a lady, and was nice, and that made me feel worse, if anything.... She will send the money back, and I was very polite, without going off the charts and asking what they have been doing with the rest of those deposits for years now.....

And will have a word or two with my bank people tomorrow.

Well, that's what you get if you just ignore things, Preciousses... Mortified. Yup.

And NOW, have completely forgotten what I wanted to post about. And my ankle is giving me a lot of pain. So back to bed...

Ok... have heard a lot of things in my life, but being a mysoginist???

Just give me a break, hey...

I like women. I do.

What the fuck is it with people, huh?

My neighnbor wanted to send some money per Western Union to a girl, and I did what he asked. I had to call her and tell her what the code word was to pick it up. She did. And it wasn't enough for her. Seemingly. And then----- she tells me through him, I could have done it differently via the internets, using his fucking CREDIT CARD NUMBER, and I fucking freaked out. Am NOT going to make myself an accessory after the fact, and will NOT have anything further to do with this idiocy, NO! When I called, I smelled something fishy. I have never ever sent any money per Western Union before, because I don't have any to send. Man oh man, she was right on top of it for details, you could hear her salivating with the roosters crowing and the dogs barking in the background.

And who the fuck did she get that from? An AMERICAN student, natch... Give me a fucking break.-...

Gaaaa....

A scam, a fucking scam....

And my neighbor, who isn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier, went off the charts. I do not understand women, I do not know how hard it can be for them in so many parts of the world, I have no feeling for them, am cold, and on and on. A pure mysoginist, that's me.

He was pissed off to the max.

I just left, I don't need that.....

As far as I'm concerned they can strip him to his underpants, but without me, hey....

I think women are nice. As friends....

Yup... you live and learn, n'est-ce pas?

But there are some awesome barracuddas swimming out there.....

I tried and TRIED to tell him..... Didn't do any good. His penis got ahold of the wheel and is steering.

So fuck it.

Mysoginist my ASS....

oh dear oh dear.....

Nearly a half of a year of my existence got messed up by 'people who KNEW better.' That is prettystrong tobacco, as they say here.... 'Well, you guys got your fourth of July without anything untoward happening, as far as I can see.'

For years, that date is the day you call Aunt Charlotte. And she turned 90. And Peter's telephone was still off. So he told me to call her from my normal phone, and convey his wishes. And I HURT her doing that. She sent me a mail saying that she was touched to hear from me, but was disappointed not to hear from him personally, because he has NEVER missed calling her on her birthday. Nothing personal regarding me, but I heard it in her voice, and she told me right out in her mail that day...

I hadn't known that, as so much other things I do not know about Peter. You can live with someone for over thirty years, and find out that you do not know a lot about them in the end effect... I unlocked my heart, and he knows everything about everything. But he has kept whole chambers and cellars in his that are dark, and private, and he can't open the doors to the dark chambers.....

And that was a metaphor, but it is TRUE.

WELL. It fucking pissed me off to get a mail from her, being so disappointed. And I had to take him OUT today, so hot and humid, and read him the riot act. 'YOU WILL call her. Or I won't come by or cook, or show you movies for THREE WEEKS. YOU will call her and explain that I couldn't get you out of the fucking HOUSE for three days because the neighbors were gone, and I can't get you down the fucking ten stairs alone.' (True)

'And you will call her, because, Precioussssss: YOU DO NOT TREAT YOUR NEAREST AND DEAREST RELATIVES LIKE THAT!! WHAT the FUCK has gotten INTO you, hey?'

Turns out, it was because I said we would go to a 'Call Centre' after the first chore. He didn't want the call centre. Oh no. They are run by Turks, you see, and I don't know how they do it, but very inexpensive. We've passed one for YEARS, on the way downtown, and he considered them 'dirty' and low-life, or something.

Oh no, he wanted to go to the snottiest most arrogant post office people in the neighborhood and use their booths. This pissed me off immensely. But SURPRISE, hey. The call centers are so competitive, they don't have phone cells to call from any more. Two coin machines, and I sure didn't have enough for that to Frankfurt in my pocket.....

I was fucking spitless for amazement. Every week we go to Enver, who comes from Turkey, and the guy cuts his hair and shaves him, and is so careful and so nice. We couldn't get out for a few weeks, he gave him his card, said to call, and he would come over and do it for him at home. Those people have so much HEART.

(And no, he is NOT a one-man show, just one man in a barber parlour and struggling, so no calculation on his part. He is just ok, and nice, and Peter feels sorry for him.)

And then THAT. No, he is NOT going to go there, and they are robbers and theives, or whatever, and I said, 'WHAA? HOW can you SAY that? You don't KNOW them. ' Part of it was stress before talking to his Aunt, but the rest was pure Xenophobia. And I said, 'WE are GOING in there, and you are going to use a telephone booth. Or you know what is going to happen, and I am SO not joking....'

'they have STAIRS'.

'No, just a slight elevation, it is ok.'

(Fuck.)

So we get in. Clean. Simple. Booths, and cubicles for internet surfers. A friendly pimply kid around seventeen. I said, 'We would like to telephone.' He assigned a booth. So I got him in there, everything spic and span, and he dialled, and then I went out and had a snigarette. I smoke hundreds, and was steaming, but when you do one, seven minutes have passed. Looked in when I threw the stump in the gutter and he had just hung up. So we went to the pimply kid (is eating at MacDonalds or too fatty stuff, you don't see that here normally..) and asked for the bill, and thought I misheard. 84 Eurocents. I was shocked. 'What was that?' '84 Eurocents.' On my cell that would have way surpassed my 20 Euros. Oh my. But yeah, hey, you can't trust a Turk. The critics should all just go fuck themselves and find out how that is possible and stop fucking us over.

Whatever.... Interesting, n'est-ce-pas'? nicht wahr? isn't it?

And here we fucking go again, judging without knowing what the fuck you are talking about, hey?

And to put the topping on the cake: 'Hey that was nice, we can do that every week till I get my stuff done.'

Unfortunately, my best friend is not here to put sixteen negative adjectives before a noun, and I am so inadequate at that, will let you do your own.

It SUCKS, that attitude, and then be so slimy about it.

ok, OK! When the fuck did I win the Mr. Personality Contest of the Week, huh???

Was it heat exhaustion on the part of the jury? What the FUCK?

I am 'normally' an inwisible indwidual. (And yes, we've been watching BBC Dickens films again, right. I love them. And Peter gets more involved the second time around....)

But... to have to go out and do battle with officials and offices in thirty degree heat pushing a 106 kilo dead-weight in a wheel chair and sit around till your turn comes, Preciousses, that is the pits. Unless something gets done, and it did. It began in the office of the City Senate lady for appartments for people who are crippled. And when Peter was through, this Cerberus of an office lady with three heads----oh, only one, am mixing this up with Harry Potter, and I seemingly lost my invisibility cape on the way to top it off....

This person SCREAMED at me for having the bold-faced AUDACITY to try to get behind Peter's wheelchair and help him out over the step to the office. 'YOU Go BACK, and let this man out of our office! Stay away!'

I was bloody shocked, I tell you, shocked. Until I barked. 'I am accompanying him and have to take him HOME!'

Upon which, she melted like the wicked witch of the west, she did. She was so mortified she kept stroking my shoulder, and apoligising all over the place. The stroking on the shoulder was nice, by the way....

After seeing what runs in and out of there, I wasn't so surprised, actually, and found it hilarious.

And today, W. the French Foreign Legion guy, took up some of my time. I had installed a web-cam for him yesterday, and he wanted to see and talk to a young lady on some Web-site called My Foreign Bride. (I know, eeeeewwwww.) Well, W. gets angry with me because I make caustic remarks about bounty hunters, serial killers, people who belong in the wood-chipper and on-line chaos, all thanks to my best friend. And he finds me 'cynical'. Oh yes, Preciousses, he finds me out and down cynical. Well, yesterday, I showed him an offer I received from France. It was so off the charts for fantasy, you could barf. But hilarious because so contradictory. He GOT it. It was the first time I ever heard him laugh out loud, heartily.

And I said, 'DON'T you EVER tell me that again, and am so happy to hear you laugh out loud.'

He couldn't get the damned thing to work today, so I went over after lunch. Emeline, that is her name, was in an internet café, and we couldn't get the fucking sound to work. And she was in an internet café. W. can't type worth shit, but I can. So I stayed out of the camera, and did what he wanted, but I never lied. She knows I'm his neighbor and help him communicate.

She is absolutely lovely. AND....

Mamma and her sister were in the background, and Mamma is very sceptical, ooooo

I let off a lot of fun stuff... When she smiles, she is so lovely, but concerned. I didn't tell any lies, and only told the truth.

I stayed off camera because the beard I am growing still looks scruffy and my shirt got tomato sauce on it when I cooked for Peter today. (Stuffed peppers with tomato sauce, with a filling of onion, lamb and a heavy dose of cheddar cheese and some mushrooms. My appetite is coming back finally...)

Well, she asked about him a lot, and I answered what I know, truthfully, and then about me, which I answered truthfully....

And then we had to shut down, because internet cafés in the Phillipines close at ten pm.

And her last line was: 'Oh, I so like to chat with you.' Meaning me.

Oh no. Oh no.... No....

I fucking freaked.

All I DID was translate and add a bit of snark to it, damn it!

Our Aunt Charlotte turned ninety yesterday. I called her from home. She was delighted.

And W. comes over me like hot soup or something about how good a friend I am.

So what the fuck is this, Mr. Popularity Week? I am not used to this, and am inwisible, Preciousses. No.

It must have something to do with the MOON.....

Ok, we wanna tald about getting fully pissed off?

Well, you probably do not, but I do... I just saw an AP headline on Yahoo that says Barry is gonna support 'faith-based' groups. Like yeah, you keep your dick in your pants, and your dresses down dears, and the undies on till your wedding day or something.

Did he fucking grow up on, MARS? That is so sick... am ready to barf again, and I am a world champion barfer.
And to make matters worse, my fucking pc, Lazarus by name, decided to do his own thing today... And will not let me get back to the way the screen is SUPPOSED to look. Lazarus is a world class asshole, and whether he knows it or not, he is bound for the scrap heap at the end of the month, and I am gonna get a MAC. Fuck Bill Gates and the thousands of Schillings and Euros I spent on his Microshit. NO more. I get an operating system that WORKS.....

It will take a bit of learning, but that is ok. It is stable, and I don't have to do string-alt-remove any more... Worth it.

And it isn't for nothing that he is getting out while the going is good, getting hit with a 500 million Euro fine for practices that were unfair in normal business practices in Europe. Nope, nothing surprises me any more.