Oh dear....

The Crooks and Liars site has some neat music sometimes. Some of it brings back great memories. Does anyone remember Lesley Gore? I do.... but sometimes there are things you should better leave behind.... I loved this song when it was fresh.... but I don't think you should do that later as a performer, it sort of gets embarrasing. And I don't like any version of Over the Rainbow other than the original in the film. And will think, 'ok, it was a hit, get over it for cripes sake!' Sorry, but I guess it is my gay gene... I don't know. This is a train wreck waiting to happen.... Just sayin'.... but she got over it. And now I'm going to go get some brain bleach, and cry under the bed in fetal position... and cringe. Have fun...

How crazy can you get,. and is this where 'edjumacation' gets us?

Am on a hilarity roll, and Annti just posted something that had me right there.... laughing. Someone wanting this on bumper stickers or flags. I will NOT repeat what my rapid fire reaction was, it was sort of blue. Don't ask, ok?

Ok, it had to do with Rick 'Sanatorium' Santorum. Y'know, the man on dog guy, and so crazy... well... I don't wanna go there. And that new idjit saying people can marry horses.

Where on Gawwds green earth do people come up with ideas like that, huh?

But I sorta liked the idea that you can get behind them or in front of them.... GAAAAA!

How bloody crazy can you get.

Is this about 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell?' Because I really don't get it.... I was usually in front or behind someone when I was young. What is the damned message here? What is the damned edjumacated person trying to SAY?

Sigh... edjumacation. sort of a skeery place to go, and just saying.... Now where is the brain bleach? And I am going back to bed.... And wish you all a moment of hilarity on this Sunday.

Sorry, have been up since 4 a.m., and ran out of steam. And am going back under the bed.

Ok... now I know I am totally over-tired....

Posted on the same topic twice.

Fix, Sakrament....

This morning, I had a nice mail regarding that piece on Talking Points Memo. (Link in the post below...) Expressing amazement.

And I think...(sometimes I do and it isn't always beneficial), I think we got a little side-tracked by all of this. People who have gotten used to being sniped at by Rethugs have gotten sorta kinda used to it. It's a day-by-day sort of thing, and you get angry, but when you see it all strung together like that.... it does become something else altogether.

And can leave you speechless.

And my relative seemed sort of upset by it, because we both sort of think the same.

And she thinks that at base, it is pure racism.

Which it is, of course, so I told her a story about when I was in third grade, and first became aware that people aren't the same color always, and how it confused me. I never 'got' it, back then... Some day I'm gonna write a short story about it.

And I am very glad I never 'got' it.

My life would have been impoverished if I had.... and she mentioned something about the McCarthy hearings, which she can only vaguely remember, although she is a whit older than me.

But my synapses went 'Snap, Crackle, Pop!' and I had to smile.

One of my earliest memories. We were living at my paternal grandparent's place after the divorce, and my grandfatnher was what Annti would term 'a pistol'. Your complete political animal, and served two terms in the NH House of Representatives. Yeah, he was pretty cool....

For a long while, his team was in a photograph in the corridor of the capitol in Concord, and I always felt very proud seeing it. It's gone now, relegated to some basement, I suppose, but that was really coooool...

So he would be fixated on the news... which came from the radio. (Yes, am so decrepit, I remember that... and he probably affected me to be the news junkie I have become.)

And one of the first memories I have from there were of him listening to the McCarthy hearings, later HUAC. And I found them very upsetting. I was only five, but children KNOW about tones of voice, and I hated the commitee panel, and felt sorry for the witnesses. I didn't know what it was ABOUT, I just knew there were some very mean people out there.

I remember my grandfather muttering imprecations I couldn't catch. Sort of 'not in front of the children...' you know? And I would listen, but didn't really like most of those people. Instinctive.

Later, as a young adult, I sort of delved around in the reports from the time, and found a remarkable play by Eric Bentley. 'Are You Now, or Have You Ever'. It was the first question the witnesses got as to whether they were communists. The play consists entirely of transcripts from the time, the people who caved in, the ones who made them look absolutely ridiculous. It was riveting reading. And sort of heart-breaking.

And, looking back, as I tend to do now and then, and I think, really think... it all got buried, and no one really remembers it fully as an adult, but it was awesomely terrible. I think there are only about two handfuls of books and films that ever touched on the subject. Few and far between...

So, we all know about the saying, 'If you forget your history, you are doomed to repeat it'? I think that is correct.... And it began again... Michelle Bachmann calling for an investigation of who in Congress is 'unamerican', for instance.

People came back with criticism, and comparisons to McCarthyism, and she was 'Oh, no, that isn't it at all.' Well, HORSE FEATHERS, m'dear, you are a fascist. Bought and paid for by some corporation or other....

Some of us Oldies do remember things....

As to my grandfather.... he used to get a bit into despair about the idjicy of his constituents as well, and would get liquored up, as my father has told me. And would go on a rant, and then despair, and yell, 'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.... Fuck it.' Never did that when I was young. Am sure it wasn't too cool for The Venerable, but I liked that story. But for me, he was cool, and one of the kindest people I have ever known.

I could go ON... like how he locked the family Bible, which was about 150 years old at the time, and would yell, 'You aren't allowed to go into that! The Old Testament is a BOOK OF HORRORS!!!' (He was ok with the New Testament.) So guess who went searching in it when he forgot to lock it? And got thrilled with the 'Book of Ruth' and David and Jonathan? Nobody told me, I just ended up reading about all these people. And still find it odd, that they caught my attention at eight years old.... Sorta weird, but I was a weird kid.

The family Bible got passed on to my brother, although it was always passed down to the eldest son, who would carry on the family name. Because I didn't propagate. I really hope he understands its' historic value.

And sometimes I miss my wild grandfather, who wasn't wild at all. He had a passion for life, and mostly tried to better things, as far as I know.

Sorry, am having a nostalgia day. The past months have been a bit rough on me.

Oh, this really sums everything up, and good on whoever it is....

Just go read.... Terrific.

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/a/m/americandad/2010/03/an-open-letter-to-conservative.php

and pass it on. I like cogent thinking.

Well, here we went again... travels by rails... and busses

Got to the train station, and oh.my.gawd.... An ad for a gay night of revelry in the post garage, which are reserved for busses, actually, and with the motto 'plug and play.' Which made me smile, somewhat... But the kicker was seeing what flowers got planted there. In German, the word means 'step-mothers', but I was thinking in English, and thought, 'oh dear...' And busted out laughing. I'm sure it wasn't intentional.









Going to the main square in Ehrenhausen, the willow is
turning green and the forsythia is about to bloom....







I 'threatened' Annti to take a picture of the crucifix in the dining room and snuck in like the pink panther, hey...






Yup, it's the kitschiest dead-man-on-a-stick I have ever seen.

'









I took Peter out for a little walkabout, and the countryside was lovely, as always, and he enjoyed the sun and the fresh air.









And a few hours later I waited at the limbo aka the train station, to catch my way back home, and after a long day, that is always a welcome sight.

An odd note: my father keeps TELLING me not to smoke...

Do I listen? Ummmm no... So I went outside, and this young woman came out with a slip of paper in her hand. And asked me if I were Peter's 'Lebensgefährte', which sort of means 'companion on the road of life', and I do like that word.... And I said 'Yes, nearly 35 years now, but it's sort of complicated...'

Well, she told me there was a bill open for co-pay, and she had talked to the social service people and had heard he had virtually no money. 'Can he pay this?' And that was upsetting to hear...

And I said, 'Well, I know he has fifty Euros in his room... What is this co-pay for?'

She was really embarassed. And handed me the bank slip to pay in. It was his share for our local version of Depends.....

And I said 'Oh...' (Some things really do not cause me to come back with a fast come-back, they just do not. Am getting 'lame'.)

It was a 'whopping' Seven Euros! Quick, where is the fainting couch, I felt weak, I thought...

(smile...)

I said, 'Oh, is that all. You can give this to me, and I will see it is paid tomorrow.'

She looked embarassed and relieved all at the same time, and thanked me.

If she only knew what people in 'Murka get for bills...

And we bitch about our co-pay sometimes, but after The Venerable told me what his was for his rehab, I should complain, or something? I told my bus driver about the latter today, and he was bloody shocked. 'That is one hell of a lot of Euros! Jeez!'

Everything is relative....

Update: I finally got Annti creeped out over that photo. Hell, it creeped ME out. Everything about it is wrong, as far as I'm concerned. Am glad I wasn't misperceiving what I keep seeing in that room.... Not to misunderstand... she's sent me things that made me weird out, and it was pay-back time. Now where is the sand-box where we can be 'nyeh, nyeh, na na, na...'

Gaawwwd, where is the sand-box, huh? Still, it was sorta kinda fun....

My favorite chancellor once said...

'Learn your history, young man'... Thanks to Terrible who called my attention to it.

Why Are We In Afghanistan? Express Version from Why Afghanistan? on Vimeo.

Oh my.... this is funny...

My friend Annti is nothing if not attentive. She wanted to know who the woman was in the picture I took of an ad two nights ago, and when setting it up, I never noticed it. Why would I pay attention to a lady in underwear after all... And she asked me about it, and I didn't know what she was talking about, till she spelled it out for me.... And I thought, 'WHAA?' Took another look, and sure enough... there is a tiny reflection in there of a woman in a black bra. And I thought, 'why didn't I see that????' Well, guess, duh...

After indicating I was going senile, or something, I went out on the square to investigate. There is a split in the glass walls of the bus stop, and a kiosk across the street, and it was a Palmer's ad. Palmer's sell underwear, and their ads are 'racy' both for men and women. So that is how the sexy woman got into the picture.... It was one a.m., and was on one of my infamous insomnia phases.

So I guess I wasn't being addlebrained. It is so small, I didn't notice. Mystery solved.

Y'know, such ads are so prevalent around here, you end up not paying much attention to them, the one I shot I found funny. And you get sort of blind to the rest, I guess, no big deal.

However, it's a good lesson in not just concentrating on the goal of what you want to photograh, but also to look at the bigger picture. Which is a metaphore for what is going on there, I would think....

So... now we have cleared up the mystery of the lady in dessous. Am glad I didn't dream it.

Oh... it passed in a flash...

So you get some sort of health care bill. I'd do a Snoopy dance, but.... hey, it's a start....

Good going!

Listen to the crazy.... Barbie goes really really rogue.

Listen carefully. And this person could have become President of the US? Chilling.

Why in the world did I learn German????

My sleeping cycles are so out of whack at the moment. And I was up watching a soap on the net, and it is trivial, but fun. Trite? Yup.... And the cigarettes ran out. So I went across the sqauare and found this new ad from a local shoe company which has really interesting ads lighted up at the bus stop. And bust out laughing They have always been innovative and good, btw.
And I really do not know who is going to understand that fully....

But what the hell... it made me smile.

I got some e-mails this morning. Our former neighbor who had tried to call him. And someone else with a bomb-shell of news. It sort of... hell, it surprised me very much. About emigrating somewhere else and leaving 'Murka.

I would never have expected that.

That is one big step to take.

I really do not know what the motivation is there, I really do not.

I DO know that the atmosphere there is so damned toxic, anyone would want to get out of there if they could....

So it is sort of conjecture, y'know?

These past two days, with everyone yelling about, 'hands off my health care!' (and it comes from the government), and starting throwing bricks throuh windows, and sending death threats to the people who voted for it, and threatening to kill their children.... No. The people behind that are bat-shit crazy, and have become really dangerous.

When people begin carrying weapons around, and feel empowered by that.... something big time is wrong. It freaks me out in a very major way, in other words.

I don't know what the hell is brewing behind the scenes, but can guess. Something evil this way comes. So get your arses out of there, because I don't think it will be nice to see.

Hmm... one thing leads to another...in my train wreck of thought processes...

My friend Annti wrote me yesterday about someone involved in health care for the elderly there, I don't want to go into details. And she told her friend how she reacted to the post below, and how she found out that there was one place where 'The Venerable' got good treatment in the US. This lady is always going on about how she would end her life before going into a nursing home, and has seen very much about what is wrong with the system. And after hearing Annti going on about her search for The Venerable, she said when the time comes, she would even move to New Hampsha' because she didn't believe that there was anything anywhere where people could be nice. Yup. Whereupon Annti kiddingly said she would sort of set her up with 'The Venerable' if it came to that, which was funny. (Not to worry, V. the lady is 71. Hot stuff... smile...)

This got me to a flash-back, and how uncaring people can be, and one sentence below sort of set it off. 'We all know how sad that can be.'

For nearly two years, I had a paper route. And there was one block 'for ladies only'. Retired ladies, nice, eager for interaction, had tiny single rooms, and they would hold me up to the max, because they had no one to talk to. I think I was around thirteen back then. And I would listen. Really listen. And they always made me very sad inside, and were interesting, and so damned alone I felt the hurt.

The horridays were the worst. They'd get so aflutter, and excited like a cage full of canaries with a cat twitching below their cages. And after the first time or so, I knew what was coming, and it wrenched my heart. Because I knew by then... it was gonna be so horrible for them. 'Oh, their sons, daughters were gonna pick them up and it was gonna be so wonderful, and they would get to see their grandchildren, and heaven was gonna open up, and rainbows were gonna be all over the city', or something like that.

The days after the horridays were excruciating for me. To see those poor ladies crushed in spirit, and so disappointed. 'Little Johnny had the flu, so they cancelled'. The lamest excuses you would ever wish to hear, and they were devastated, and in denial. That ripped me apart inside, till I hurt.

They never got out of their little cells.

And I would listen, and listen, and try to be of some consolation... I was just the paper-boy, after all, but they needed an ear. I was only thirteen or so, but I did what I could.

And it made me SO indignant, and so angry, and hey, there were things in my family, but no one treated anyone whomsoever is such a shabby, disgusting way. And it made me very angry.

I guess the point of this is.... it wasn't a nursing home, number one. And still.... people get denigrated, and shunted off 'somewhere', and basically neglected. And when I said yesterday that I do not see people being visited in Gamlitz so far.... it very much reminded me of that paper route, and the extraordiary callousness of just shunting off what you consider excess baggage and leaving people in the lurch.

That is a harsh assessment, I know.

That is why it disturbs me that I see so few visitors where Peter is, and the staff seems to be happy that I come there.

I have touched on the subject of how, when I came here, families with extended generations lived under one roof. Wasn't all too easy, conflict of personalities, and so on. But they got on somehow. When I said most of the houses in Gamlitz are less than 20 years old? Everyone moved out and built their own private spaces.

That can be a good thing. But such decisions have consequences too. There is an element of selfishness in all this. And that existed decades ago where I grew up, certainly not in my family, but it was there.

So when I flashed back in my mind to the women in the 'Ladies Block', I do not like seeing no visitors to other people. It reminds me too much of those poor people who kept hoping for visits that never came, and a mess of other things.

There is this man in Peter's place.... he is always out in the hall, and he has this odd thing he does. Rubbing his fist against the side of his forehead, and sort of sidling against the walls, but never settles, really. Afraid of something. But at least he has people who care for him, talk to him, try to make him feel 'safe'. I have learned that I scare him if I come up the hall too fast. So I go slow. And smile. It is very unsettling.... for us both, I guess...

The 'Ladies in the Block' didn't have that. They were on their own, and had an empathetic paper boy who tried to listen. And spent way more time than he should have... just listening, and trying to console them.

The paper-boy got fired.... because the people on the rest of the route got their papers too late.

And I thought: 'Well fuck you all', because those hours spent were something I thought was important, and no one else was paying attention....

Sometimes, I think human nature is so ugly, I would gladly give up my membership. Other times, I think, 'ok, try to make a difference, you idjit'.

And along come nice people, and try to help, and you have to hold your hand up, and let yourself be helped when you despair about what 'humanity' is.

Greed and avarice seem to have the upper hand, these days. But we will see.....

Whelp, I got to Gamlitz today.... and party pooper...

Pretty day, and the bus was in Ehrenhausen to take me to Gamlitz. Peter was happy to see me. The staff was cordial, and very friendly. This nursing home is only a year old and full up, and I am getting the idea that very few people come to visit most people there. I haven't seen them, at any rate, and that can be very sad, as we all know.... But they really seem to do a wonderful job with their people, and are very nice to them.

Cripes, I have a mind like a sieve. The photo is of a Klapotetz. You only find them in this region and no where else that I know of. They are usually in corn fields, and vinyards. They look pretty rustic, but have a purpose. When the wind blows, there are little hammers in the back, and it makes the ground vibrate. Which keeps the mice away from the corn and the other plants. A better Rube Goldberg contraption.


It was one of those brilliant March days, when the sun makes its' power known, so I had brought a cake, and passed on all the greetings I had gotten per mail yesterday, and he was very thankful for all your wishes, and got a tiny piece of cake, and I bought him a weird and funny little turtle I bought on the train. There was this deaf/dumb young guy, and he placed it on the seat across from me with a note, saying he was handicapped that way, and did I want to buy it. So I did, it was funny, and a trifle, really.... He smiled broadly in thanks.

Whatever I asked Peter was he ready to go out and explore the 'CENTER' of this megalopolous, which has maybe one hundred houses. Till now the weather was so horrible it was just too cold to do that, and thought it would be nice for him to get some fresh air, and see where he was at. So he did, and wanted to go to the grocery store and get some champagne, it being his birfday and all... He had a glass later, and gave the rest to the nurses. There wasn't much noteworthy to photograph in the center. Most houses seem to have been built in the past twenty years... But the mayor did give us a hearty 'Grüß Gott' as we passed him getting into his car. I know it was the mayor because it said so on his Smart. Yup.

What I didn't know is that the staff had a surprise for him. Coffee and cake is served daily in the dining room, and he usually has it in his room, but they wanted him to go there, and served the corfee, and then they came in singing 'Happy Birthday To You', (and why in the world don't they have one of those in German??? So odd...)
And they swarmed around him, congratulating him.



It was like a bleeding volcano, or something, and it wasn't a put on sort of thing, and they all congratulated him and wished him the best. And then they cut it, and everyone got a slice. I found it touching. The guy in back is the director of the home, and the lady in white on the right is the head nurse there. They were very nice, and friendly, and I didn't see any fake friendliness. She asked me if I were his 'friend' and clearly meant 'significant other', and Peter blocked that so fast, it took me aback. So I played along. Which was sort of hurtful, in a way, but hey, he has to live there, and just does NOT want to open up and interact. If I had said 'yes...' it wouldn't have made a bit of difference, and they would have been just as friendly. I think she knew what was what... and the warmth still was in her eyes. (Shrug...) I started asking the staff when school was out, as I know they are gonna have an Easter recess, so I could plan visits around when the busses hardly run from Ehrenhausen to Gamlitz. That requires logistics, y'know??? And they were sort of 'Huh?' till I explained I had gotten stranded in Ehrenhausen last Friday. And the director said, 'If that happens again, call us and we will come and pick you up.' I was so taken aback at that.

Sometimes people can still floor me with their kindness. It is still like many years ago when we were out at an open-air museum, and maybe you remember D and L.... and we were supposed to get a bus back, and it didn't come, and I asked about that in a Gasthaus, and the owner insisted on taking us back to town? Seemingly, they are that sort of people, and I am glad they are still around. In the city, that has sort of disappeared, but out in the countryside, it is thriving, seemingly. I was speechless.

On a cigarette break, I went up the hill above the home and got this shot. You see those lines of plants running down the steep hill? That is a vinyard. All of that area is full of them.
Today, when I was at the bus stop in Ehrenhausen, that little boy I spoke of going down there the first time was across the way, waiting for his bus, and being a perpetuum mobile with his school-friend, and racing around the square. Y'know, the one I asked about busses, and his dialect is so thick I didn't know WHAT the hell he was saying? Well, all of a sudden, they dashed across the street, and he comes up to me and says 'Hallo!' And I said, 'Hallo...' and waved. And he asked, 'Are you going to SCHOOL?' I think he was impressed by the thought, or something. Picture an energetic seven-year old tow-headed tyke with big blue eyes.... It cracked me up, but I said 'No, am going to a nursing home to visit someone.' 'Oh.' Obviously disappointed, they zoomed off to their hyperactivity, but I found it funny. I would guess he is about seven or so...

The nursing home has an Easter tree. It is really kitschy. Mine were always toned way down, and there wasn't a wooden goose in it, but the eggs were nice....

On all the bus trips between Ehrenhausen and Gamlitz so far, I have been the only passenger on the bus! Except one time when an old woman was on, so that made us two people. Always the same driver, and we have gotten to talking a bit. I really cannot figure how they can DO that. Not that I'm not thankful that it exists, but that can't be right, financially.

(Shaking my head in disbelief...)

Again, I have to repeat Peter's thanks to everyone who sent him good wishes. I think that really bucked him up, as we used to say way back when.

Tomorrow is important....

For Peter...

He's gonna be the birfday boy, yahoo, etc. etc. ....

So I can get there, as school is in, and there will be a bus, and so on. And will bring him one piece of cake.... Which he only ever got on his birfday from me.... (Yeah, I'm a terrible tyrant...)

No hats, no paraphanalia, no silly things.

He will be seventy-one years old. And I wasn't sure he was gonna make this one intact, and halfway aware.

And all I can think is.... 'Where did all that time go?' It is sort of disconcerting.

Whatever, if anyone has a message for him for tomorrow, mail me, and I will gladly give it to him on his 'special day'.

Oh, this is just too rich... my one thousandth post!

And whaddaya know, it was to be that they finally did something, and the House of Representatives passed the Senate Bill and the fixes yesterday! As Rachel Maddow is wont to say... 'Isn't that a coincydink...!?' Yeah.... sigh...

Listen, it isn't to say that I am not happy about that, I am... And I think it is a wonderful step forward compared to what has been 'normal' up to now.

And I think I know how progressives in America are feeling this morning. Sort of like having gone fifteen rounds with Mike Tyson wearing cotton candy gloves. Something like that, at any rate.

As people who follow this piece of insignifcance know, I started revving up, writing on the topic around nineteen months ago, and I knew it was going to be an ugly fight. And it meant much to me to try to be a small voice of reason, using my experience.

And in the background, I signed the petitions I felt I could legally sign, and tried to make my voice heard on the subject. The fight took so many twists and turns, it could make you dizzy, but tried to keep my eye on the prize.

Last night, I couldn't bear to watch the live feeds on the process on the internets. And whaddaya know, this morning I got up at 4 a.m. to see what had happened, turned on the internets, and 'no server'. There was an interruption in service, happens once in a great while, and one of the lights on my modem was blinking....

I KNOW that they do that occasionally to upgrade something when they think everyone is sleeping, and not disrupting their service, but my eyes were like slits full of anger, and I said something very nasty..... and 'Do you have to do that NOW????'

So I turned on the tee-vee, which is something I usually never do, and got the 24 hour news channel in Germany, and they were running some odd deep sea docu, but there was a chiron with running text below. And so I learned it had passed.

And it was a great relief, somehow.

All in all, I think it was a terrific fight. I was so very pleased to see so many people from so many walks of life really wading into the fray with so much passion, and good arguments, and trying to make a difference in the outcome. That was wonderful, and renewed my belief in 'the American spirit'.

The other side against any reform were dismaying, and since they had no good counter-arguments, turned into bullies. That wasn't good for anyone. So when I speak of 'Murkins, I do mean the bullies, and people who are not quite right in their heads. Just to clear that up...

I think I wish to say, some of us had a dream of what the perfect health care system would look like, or could look like. And fought to make it come to pass.

So yes, the passing of the Bill was a very good thing, and if there was one lesson to be learned, one has to be pragmatic about it. And that sometimes... most times... you have to make concessions to even get on the path you want to go on.

So yes, am happy it got that far. But I don't think this is the end-all and be-all regarding the subject.

And I am disgusted with the behaviour of some of the tea-partiers yesterday. One does not spit on, and denigrate people in Congress with words I wouldn't ever think of saying. I could call THEM a number of things they wouldn't like to hear, but I haven't. Because when it comes to confrontation, I would think.... waste of time.

Sometimes 'Murkins really scare me. They do...

Yet another clip of some very confused people, who when asked, don't really have any sane answers and are just tools of corportate entities feeding them some tag lines, but they obviously do not have one clue, and are just angry. So along come people like Dick Armey, and they feed on that, and give them the tag lines to mouf off like the little marionettes they eventually become. And whoever says Faux News is something legitimate in reporting, well Goebbels must be rubbing his hands in glee in whatever Hell he is in...



I find these people confused, and sad, and dangerous.

Update: and now I am sort of creeped out: Sitemeter tells me someone from Jakarta called up my post about socialism. And got the text translated to his/her language. Oh, I hope I did it correctly.... I hate misunderstandings.

On the concept of 'socialism'....

Since the right is going ON about how the new health care reform is 'socialist'... oh my gawwd....

oooo... how skeery, oooo, how terrifying....

When I returned from Austria the first time, my co-workers asked me what it had been like, and I said it had been wonderful. Whereupon they got shy, and said, 'Oh, so I guess that means you are a Communist...' They thought Austria was behind the Iron Curtain. As a matter of fact... it wasn't.

The first time I ever met a socialist was in 1972. Minding my own business, walking down the hall in our dormitory, and this red-headed kid came running down the hall at me yelling 'It's terrible! Just terrible!'

And I thought, 'whaaaaa?' So I asked him.

Turned out he was a Juso, a young socialist party member. And he said the cafeteria we were working in had no refrigerating rooms, so they were throwing out perfectly top food into the garbage every day, and we had to do something about it, and his eyes were just so angry.

So I asked, 'Well, what can we do?' And he said, 'I need someone from every floor in the building to stand up against this waste, and ---whisper whisper whisper.'

Well, it sounded sensible, and I thought he wanted someone as moral back-up, so I said, 'Ok, I'm in....' because I didn't like the thought of things going to waste....

So the next day, we gathered in the lobby and went to the MANAGEMENT offices. And then, wonder of wonders, they pushed ME to the fore to do the pitch.... back-stabbing extraordinaire... And I was so 'HUH?' at first, it freaked me. And thought, 'ok, am gonna do this and probably get fired, and have to return to the US, but it will be worth it...'

That was my split-second of, 'Do you want to be selfish, or do you want to help?'

I was fluent in German by then, but hardly eloquent.

I said, 'We have learned, that you are throwing away a great deal of food every day, because there are no refrigerating rooms here. That is a huge waste. (And then I really got into it, Dickensian rage... because if I was gonna be fired, I wanted it to be good.)

We cannot believe that there aren't homes, or poor people who would happily receive what you are throwing out, and find it unconscionable that you would do that so unthinkingly. What we want, is that it does not get thrown out, and gets to people who need it, and not throw it away.

And if you do not... we will strike on opening day... (big pause)... and report it to the 'Bild Zeitung.'

They blanched. The Bild Zeitung is sort of a cross between the New York Post and the Enquirer, only nastier.

Next day, we had dozens of cars picking up the food, and carrying it off to social service places for use.

And I didn't get fired.

So that was my first run-in with Socialism.

Pretty radical, huh?

We didn't gain anything by it, but it was the right thing to do, as far as I am concerned..... it didn't hurt anyone....

And I thought, 'Well, maybe socialism isn't so bad... that was cool...'

In the meanwhile.... everything has become bastardised, and greed rules the world.

For the past nineteen months, it seems to me that trying to get health care reform is something 'so' horrible and 'so' awful, and leaving aside the lies, and the partisan attacks....

It seems to me that it 'should' be about caring about your fellow man, and seeing that everyone has the right to the same kind of care, and not about greed, profits, or feeling you are better than everyone else because you happen to be healthy.

So-called 'Christians' go on and on, but it is the old version of... God helps those who helps themselves.' And if anyone else thinks they do not, well, they have only themselves to blame.

If I remember my catechism and Bible correctly... you are supposed to have compassion, and help your fellow man.

Maybe I slept through the lesson where the opposite was taught, and you take the last penny they have.... I don't remember that one, at any rate...

Am sorry, but I don't get the villifying part of the debate on health care reform, because all I see is greed, and the fear that someone is going to take something away from someone else, and that someone has more than they ever needed in their lives, and would walk and step on your cold corpse if you were out on the sidewalk and not think twice about it.

Greed.

It is about time that people get equal, and have good care. It would be about helping your fellow man. And if that is socialism... am for it....

This has been causing me barf attacks for two days now...

Some things are so offensive, that anything I grew up with for values just get trashed, and you have to ask yourself, 'What the FUCK happened???' This clip has been all over the place, and all over the world, and shows what 'the ugly American' means in a very new way.

It has obviously disturbed Chris Matthews, he kept running it, and asking people on the other side to take a stand and say whether they could back such behaviour. Having whipped them up into a frenzy in the first place with big bucks. Y'know, the ones who are against everything, but if asked why, they don't know. They just feel someone stole something from them, and like bullies, need to take it out on the next best person or governmental body they feel are the culprits. But they can't say why.

And I find that sort of frightening, knowing what I know... Now just think about this: someone abroad wants to vacation in the US, ok? And they see this despicable behaviour on YouTube, or whereever, what do you think they would decide? To go to Ohio post-haste? Or anywhere else?

I do not think so.... and statistics say, the influx of visitors there.... y'know, the one's going over on business, or just tourists who want to come home afterward?... have opted out, and caused a huge downward turn in income. Have spoken with enough people who said no, and cancelled their convention attendance, or not wanted to go there for any reason. Mostly it was under Bush, he did one HELL of a job... But clips as below will not help matters one whit.

But when I see clips like this.... and I KNOW that Europeans always sort of separated the people from the government, and liked the former, and couldn't figure out why they elected the latter.... it undermines everything. You will go from being naive and likened to 'suspicious and greedy, and near-violent'.

It is sort of like watching a two year old stomping on your house of cards that you built up over decades, and wham, it's just gone....

I am not good with this behaviour, I am not good with those people, I am not good with unleashed greed that turns to hate, and near-violence, and violence. Dan Rather was on Rachel Maddow yesterday, and said he had never seen the country so divided, not even in the 60's. I would agree. I was there, and alive and a near-adult at the time....

And there are people willing to turn it into a debacle for personal gain, as far as I can see......

So to quote something from 1968... 'The whole world is watching!' Which wasn't true, in comparison to now, but now... I really think they are.



I'm gonna have to look for the clip of the man's response. He was a physicist, I believe, and spent one-hundred-twenty thousand dollars for an operation to relieve him of the worst symptoms, and was very dignified, and brave. I will post it when I can find it again.

And of course, it caused him to go into debt big time.

But I still can't get over the gross beligerence of people who have more air between their ears than brain matter.

A friend of mine sent me this....

She seems to be on a binge of looking for 'cute' animal clips on YouTube today, altho it is in the middle of the night where she is, or early morning, better said. It is my friend Annti, and you can find her blog in the side bar on the right.

I don't usually post 'cute' animal clips here, but I did find this one funny. After having had very cynical and mean thoughts when I went to the market to get stuff for the week-end.

As tomorrow is Palm Sunday, the barbarians have come out in full force, and you would think there is gonna be a siege, or something, and you could hardly get anywhere without having your eyes poked out with pussy-willow branches, huge ones, because everyone is going to make their Easter tree later today, and they elbow, and push, and can be just totally obnoxious. ('Did I ever say I hate the horridays?', he asks, tongue in cheek...) And I thought: 'Mensch, if I could have a wish, it would be to do exactly what the monkey does in the clip, tormenting the tigers.'

Clusterfuck to Gamlitz.... I got stranded....

I got me my ticket, got off here in Ehrenhausen, as two weeks ago,
and it was a much nicer, sort-of-Spring day, as you can see... so I was there at noon, and was at the bus stop waiting for my transfer.






This was after bussing across town to Peter's, and emptying his mailbox, which was mostly bills, and I was looking down to the bridge, waiting for the bus to come. Except it didn't 12:14 came and went. No bus.





Whereupon those 'guys' up at the mausoleum brooding down on the main square began looking 'ominous'. And I began thinking. 'It IS Friday, which is a school day, so where's the bus? I can only get there weekdays, no public transportation on the weekends. Well it got to be 12:20, no bus but three people came to the stop, and I asked, and this very surly teenage girl said, 'There won't BE any, school's out today.' And I thought, 'Whaaa?'


Nothing more was to be done... no connection possible. I was really angry. So I trudged back to the train station, and had to wait forty-five minutes to train back to Graz, as a taxi to Gamlitz and back would have cost me over thirty Euros that I did not have with me, and that is where I learned that school was out because--- it is sort of a half-horriday here, the feast of St. Joseph, who is the patron saint of the State of Styria. Uh-huh... At least I found these first harbingers of Spring behind the church there, snow-bells and crocuses. Snow-bells are the graceful white ones, that will usually even come up through a shallow covering of snow. And then come the crocuses. Hope 'Springs' eternal, and all that jazz...

By the time I got home, Peter was in a state, imagining I had fallen off the train or something dire like that. (Riiiight...) So he was disappointed, I was angry about the wasted funds, and all in all, it was a frustrating day.

Not to mention having watched the news from yesterday before I left, which got me so angry in the first place, all the D.C. idjits and their posturing and jockeying over health care. I could have turned the air purple, but am not gonna go there this evening, am just too tired.

So the only mitigating circumstance was turning on The Daily Show from yesterday on the net, which got posted late in the morning while I was on my useless road trip. And Jon Stewart used almost two-thirds of it to do the most devastating parody of Glen Beck, it floored me. Viciously funny, and as Joe Jervis in New York said... 'an instant classic'.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/19/jon-stewart-glenn-beck-parody_n_505329.html

Oh yes, tell me

As Mika Brzinszki always says....

Happy Saint Patrick's Day to everyone. I did all my 'confessions' last year, so will refrain from being repetitive. But I did put on something green.... (ok, yes, underweasr, ok?) You know, the mindless parties, the green beer, the folk music, the buffet with corned beef and cabbage and what not, the laughter, the fun... I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

And anyone with an ounce of Irish in them sort of goes bonkers on this day, and have never seen fights, just lots of joy.

So go out, and have a safe and very fun time, and rock the house you're in, ok?

You'll hardly believe this, but this day gets celebrated in Graz, where I am in a fairly 'big' way for such a small city. We have an Irish pub. (There are contingents of Irish students here...) And every year, a group called The Shenanigans gives a concert in what used to be a movie theater.

And you know what? I've never attended either event. I think that is something you should do when you are young and reckless, and out for fun.

So, wherever you all are.... have fun and be safe.

I spent mine this year contemplating Peter's dilemma, getting to have to empty his post box tomorrow, and then Werner called to tell me he couldn't boot his pc, could I look, because everything on the screen was suddenly in English, which he can't understand. Same problem I had in January, and I went through all the options, but nada....

Till I had to throw in the towel, and say, 'either you get it repaired, or you will need a new one. And you will be out one hundred 'mice'. ' Which means Euros.... slang.

Peter got re-transferred back to Gamlitz yesterday. His last night in Wagna was fairly dramatic.... they moved him because they had to put an epileptic in his room who was out of control.

And the guy in the next bed to him died.... he was way out of it.

So now he is again in a quiet place, single room, and his sugar is way down.

And I fell asleep writing this, so that can't be good...

Changing channels for a moment....

I had seen this story a month or so ago, and could identify with this ten year old kid. And remembered one particular Thanksgiving. As usual, all the 'guys' gathered around the living room to watch football, and an uncle of mine really mouthed off about 'the race problem' Don't get me wrong, he was nice but he had some huge blinkers. And I felt very insulted because I was in the room, and what he was saying hurt, because it would also have concerned my biological mother, who was long gone. (This was the 6o's, btw....) And I was so terribly angry, but I stayed calm, and said, 'Well... I know how to solve THAT...' and got a condeescending 'Oh really? How?'

And I said, 'The government should force people to intermarry till we finally all turn out one color. Pause... but it will take some time. '

You could have heard a pin drop, believe me. And no, there weren't any internets at the time, and my little voice was insignificant.

Now... so many years later a little boy, very intelligent, only ten years old, made some waves. You are going to love his acceptance speech at the GLAAD media awards, and please watch little Will Philipps from Arkansas, and how he thinks. And how proud his parents look in the second clip. Even though they might sometimes think they got a 'changeling'. Nice.





Thank whomever for the internets, and I think the kid will turn out to be an interesting adult.

And no, normally don't post about kids, or pets... it just struck a chord. Good on him, as they say in the South.




Thank whomever for the internets, and I think the kid will turn out to be an interesting adult.

And no, normally don't post about kids, or pets... it just struck a chord. Good on him, as they say in the South.

The guy screams a lot in the night....

I know I haven't concentrated on Peter much the past few days.... They got his sugar levels waaayy down, almost too much... And he just told me he is going to be changing rooms... because... they have a new patient who is epileptic, and screams in the night. So they want him somewhere else, where he won't be bothered.

That is nice....

They will probably be able to put him back in Gamlitz this week. And Jeebus H. you know who... he is so uneasy.

I try. I really do try... but there are days which weigh very heavily on my heart.

He is so upset, because his birfday is on March 23rd, and someone told him that is Easter Monday.Which means no visit on his 'special day'. Because on weekends and horridays, there aren't any local connections on local transportation. I could take a taxi, of course, but I just do not have the money to spend on that. So I said, 'Well... either a few days before or after if that ist the case.' Hell, I don't know when Easter is... I have enough to do without putting that in my head...

I would classify the hospital somewhere in the middle of the scale.... BUT...as far as the staff goes, they are up there for caring, being nice, and was, again very impressed.

And Annti... everwhere we've been so far... there are always sticks, but without the dead man.

(Sorry, that is an inside thing... similar to 'Mary on the half-shell. And then it would rain if I actually said it out loud. Which is why stuperstitions get born, I guess.)

I feel so sorry for Keith Olbermann. His father died over the weekend. And just as I do, he used his terrible experiences to push for health care for everyone. This morning, I was looking at all the condolences on Daily Kos, and I cried, because he really brought it home without being exhibitionistic. He's been pushing to make things better, using very personal info. Which I have been doing lately.

I hate being misperceived. When I began talking about all this, I only wanted to clear up what lies people in Amerca were told about 'socialised medicine'. Well.... with all my unfortunate experiences, I just write about what I know.

Fun? NOT. But it is very important. Very.

Oh, this is funny... Daylight saving time!!!

In the US, that is the earliest I have seen that happen. There are normally about two weeks of the year when the time difference shortens by an hour, because the US goes on daylight savings time earlier than Europe does. We are still on 'standard Middle Europe time' (MEZ) at present.

Daylight saving time was introduced here in the Mid-Seventies. And we had this lovely lady from Slovenia working in the restaurant, known as 'Mutti' (Mom), and the whole concept made her very angry. I tried and tried to explain it to her, and got nowhere fast, and using the same rationale as in the clip below. Nope, she wasn't having any of that, it was hog-wash, and all she felt was that 'someone' was stealing an hour from her, and she was being robbed. I finally had to give it up. Let out a huge sigh of exasperation, and said, 'Look, wait till the Fall, and then you get that hour back. Trust me.' I used to have to warn all our guests at the beginning, because they would come down for breakfast an hour too early in the Fall, or miss a meeting in the Spring. Whatever... it wasn't as ennervating as trying to explain why roosters in Europe say Kikiriki! and the ones in the US cry 'cockadoodle dooo!' (You really really want to try that one sometime... and wish you good luck with that...)

And I always thought it was an energy-saving thing. However... Rachel Maddow teaches us something new. As Joe.My.God pointed out yesterday. Have fun with it.

good grief, am still tired!!!

Yesterday I was up at 1:30 a.m., and just couldn't sleep. Insomnia attack, hey. Just after 11, I trundled over to the train station to go to Leibnitz. And for The Venerable, this is how things look there after the renovations. There are escalators, and elevators, and it is bright and cheery. Awesome, isn't it...






So, I always get itchy when I take trains. We call it 'travel fever'. (Oh, goody, a train ride!) This is an intercity travel shuttle. How modern.....





One of the stops was outside our airport. Pretty huge, isn't it? (smile). Some of you have landed at this 'gigantic' place, I know. Heck, Manchester is a behemoth in comparison, but it serves its' purpose....






The area around Graz is fairly low altitude, sort of like a big kettle, with lots of hills and mountains surrounding it. I once learned that it used to be a huge lake at the museum of geography, so go ahead call me a geek. If I recall correctly they even found mammoth bones in the region. So that was very long ago in our reckoning...

And I got to Leibnitz, and no sign of Charly. Which was disconcerting, because I didn't take the phone number with me, and so I thought, oh dear... and so I took a taxi to their street... and couldn't find the house, everything had changed so much, or I am getting forgetful in my old age. So just went on to the hospital. Asked at the nurse's station to find me the number, and called from Peter's room, and Gaby was on the phone. 'Where ARE you?' 'At the hospital, I got there, and couldn't find him.' 'He was there! I can't believe you wouldn't recognise one another!' She said he would pick me up at three p.m. Said, hokay... It was a sort of stressful forty-five minutes, in other words. I hate being unprepared....

So I visited three hours with Peter, and we toured the hospital and ended up on his floor on the balcony so I could have a cigarette outside the day room. It being Saturday, there were a mess of visitors in his room, so it wasn't the best atmosphere to communicate in... They have his blood sugar way down, and have to have him stabilised. He was cheerful enough... This is all not easy for me emotionally, but it was good enough.
Just after three I went out on the balcony to look for Karl. And suddenly his wife Gabi was in the door, saying, 'Aha, I thought I would find you here...' (Yup, am nothing if not predictable...) She said Karl had a phobia about hospitals, so that is why she came over. She saw Peter for a moment, neither of them have ever met him, although I did invite them to see us in the Mühlgasse several times... gawwd, we were all so busy all the time.

So first we cleared up how it happened that he wasn't there. I am getting bloody OLD. And had two connections on my screen, gave him the wrong arrival time, and it turned into a sort of clusterfuck in the planning. And was looking for a white house, and they had it painted yellow in the meantime. It was embarassing. Whatever, we spent a few hours catching up on 18 years, and some of it was sad, and some it was funny, and I realised how much that has been missing in my life lately, to talk civilly about anything. To differ in opinion sometimes, but work through it. The government there could have taken a lesson on what civil discourse IS, if you ask me.

So, for The Venerable and my cousins... I did give them your best wishes, and I think it made them happy to be so fondly remembered. Which I know you do. And yes... we are getting older, no doubt about it. But I think we are doing so with some sort of grace and dignity. And I find them beautiful people. So I picked this photo, because I just know they would give you a toast, and wish you well.

Really good things never last all too long, and I had to come back to Graz. I was in a new sort of train, and optically, it was pretty awesome. Very stylised. A commuter one, but high-tech. And everywhere they have digital displays telling you the date, the time, and what the next stop will be. Absolutely coooool... No more little paper fliers littering everything with time schedules. Loved that. And convenient. Elke doesn't like them because she says the seats are to hard and she can't sleep when commuting. I've rarely slept on trains. I like seeing where I AM....

I don't know... I got home and was so wound up, sleep wasn't an option. So I attended to my e-mails, and before I knew it, it was 2 a.m. So I was up for over 24 hours. Cripes, I haven't done that since my youth. There was so much to savour and process, falling asleep was impossible. But at 2, I finally went to bed.

Hell, I haven't been up for over 24 hours since I was eighteen! And y'know what? I'm going to have to face the fact... that I am getting OLD. Eeew. Gabi, Karl, thank you so much.

i'm doing another trip to Leibnitz tomorrow....

Yeah, it is tgw closest station to the hospital where Peter is. So I called my freind Charly, whithout whose help I would never have GOTTEN here, and said I was going down through there, and so on.

The bus connections on the weekends are really not good.

Charly teaches, and has a mess of things he is involved in, and I would never want to interfere with his schecule. Wich is why we haven't seen one another in ages

He will take me to the hospital, and pick me up, and we can talk.

I am so looking forward to it.

I saw this news two days ago,

And knew who Granny D was. She died at 100 years old. When she was 94, she ran for the Senate against Judd Gregg in NH. At 88, she walked across all America, and was a liberal of the finest sort. Crooks and Liars put up a tribute to her today. If you want to see what a remarkable woman she was, click on the link. It runs about ten minutes. She had never been in a formal debate on tee-vee before that. And I got a kick out of the accent. (sorry..) Link here.

Oh... your moment of 'how cute', or 'strange bedfellows'

This is from the Daily Mail in England. Can Easter be far behind?
Found on Rachel Maddow's blog. Link to the Mail here.

Paradise Lost, and a retrospective regarding yesterday...

Okay, took some pictchas on my jouney to Gamlitz yesterday. This is the main hall of the train station in Graz. I can never figure out what the artist meant.... ganglia or netroots. It's a mystery, but always sort of makes me uneasy.








Some of you will remember standing on these platforms, but everything else is much improved. Elevators take you down to a corridor, and you escalate up to the main hall. (Note to the Venerable... those bloody stairs still exist. But no one uses them, and all I can remember is ... your knees, the luggage, and the bloody stairs, and cursing inwardly that no one had thought to install an escalator. You wouldn't believe the progress on that.)



So I caught an S-Bahn to Ehrenhausen, south-south west of here. The 'S'
means 'schnell', (fast),which is a fata morgana. They stop everywhere, and are commuter trains. The fastest ones are labelled 'express'. So it is sort of like riding the busses on rails, but the seats are comfortable and no, no smoking cars to be found, so I brought a book.







New stops have been added in the twenty years since I travelled this route. This is on the outskirts of Graz, and I don't know WHO on earth designed the exit, but it looks like and entry to the circus. As there is a mega shopping mall nearby, it probably fits...









Well we got to Ehrenhausen, which is tiny, and a five minute walk from the train station to the main square. Which, of course has a city hall...








And I had to find the bus stop somewhere on the main square there. There was only one person out there... a five year old boy at one stop, and I asked him if that was the one for Gamlitz, because I didn't see it on the timetable. I still don't know what the kid said, because the dialect there is so brutal... well you don't wanna know. So I spotted an adult, asked him and it turned out what I needed was across the street. Swell. Wrong-way B. Oh well..



And as on all main squares, there was a church. Built between 1752 to 1754. Lots of face lifts, obviously.











The main square is overshadowed by the ruins of a castle, and a mausoleum. I just learned that Ruprecht von Eggenberg is interred there. And many of you have been to thePalace of Eggenberg in Graz, when visiting me.






I tried to zoom in a bit.







I finally got to Gamlitz after about a ninety minute public transportation journey. And knew from Google Earth how to get there. This facility isn't even two years old. And I thought, 'errm, this doesn't look so swell...






Till I got in. Man he's got a single, private bath anyone handicapped could dream of...








Everything bright, lots of light wood, and yup, there he was...









And a flat-screen teevee on the wall.

The staff were so nice, because I went out a few times for a cigarette, and saw how they handle all their seniors. And had a little sigh of relief inside, because the care is stupendous.

However... his sugar level (569!!) hasn't gone down, and today he has to go back to a hospital. A nursing home isn't a hospital, after all... This morning he called me and cried, because it has gotten so crass, he is being transferred immediatly. He felt like he was being shunted around, and I had to talk for a long time with him to convince him it was for the best. I think he felt very at home there, even after a week and a half, and hadn't gone into his usual rants about the staff, or feel they were out to 'get' him. And I have the sneaking suspicion that he is about to lose his remaining foot. It was terrible, and I don't feel 'cheerful'....

The one thing that got me through yesterday was stopping in Leibnitz on the way back, and seeing my ex-colleague, and meeting her family. They probably expected I would do a drama queen number on them. But it was like a breath of fresh air. We talked about a lot of things. Her husband asked me about health care reform there, because he doesn't understand what the problem is, and I was off and running. We had a very intensive talk about that, and about many other things. It was a perfect ending to a very upsetting day, and that was balsam for my soul.

And I tried to be bright and 'charming'. They made it easy for me. For which I am thankful.