Just another punch in the gut hey...

oh... this one hurt...

I hardly pushed 'publish' on the last post.... and whaddaya know... the phone rang.

And since no one else ever calls me at that time, I said, 'Well whaddya want NOW?'

(Peter's been a telephone terrorist for days....)

It was a nurse from the angiology dept. of my local hospital. "You can come and pick him up now...."

"Whaaaa?'"

"Mr. P. is here, and said you would pick him up and bring him home."

BOOM...

"Are you a relative?"

"No.... And listen... he isn't exactly CLEAR in his head? So he needs to be in the home."

"I fully understand. Thank you."

Auaaaaa!

Oh man, leave it to Peter to come up with a 'plan'. Jeebus H. Cripes.

Wow, tomorrow is gonna be fun. Am waiting for an hour from now for him to call from Gamlitz and tell me how I betrayed him, or something.

When the phone rings... I expect the unexpected.

But that was crass. And I cried., which I hate as much as throwing up. Why do I have to be so sad?

I'm concerned...moslims

So I am going to put this out here as honestly and as straight as I can...

People are looking at a certain post I did not all too long ago.

I do not wish it to be misunderstood.

That post was about basic trust in my neighbors... that I valued and trusted them completely, and I might have chosen an example that was a bit off the charts. And how I hate how they get treated.

And I was concerned about the up-tick in hostile things going on here, and I just can't see it or condone it.

It still IS about trust. And respect. I wouldn't want that any other way.

People were denigrating people I live among, and respect.... even if I don't understand them sometimes... but they are kind... and give respect... and I never wish to give anyone on my blog the feeling they are disrespected.

Given the circumstances, that would be a farce....

Everyone should feel welcome here.

Except bullies.

Rachel Maddow puts it in perspective....

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Site is back up.... wasp's nest

Ohh. we really REALLY needed more socal strife and hate against Turkish people.

Fuck.

Talk about egg on your face... Holy Crap.... this is odd, and funny and not so new...

The first reports from the morning shows are becoming available here in the evening, and wow, I never saw Joe Scarborough somber before. And Mika Brezinski makes me want to throw up, but what else is new... all that mewling.

Wikileaks is down. The website. But I imagine it will pop back up sometime soon. No, I don't think it is fun.

Y'know... I read a really good book once back in the Sixties sometime, and it impressed me. It was Graham Greene's 'The Ugly American'. It was a terrific novel, I remember, but it had a very serious theme. That US ambassadors were appointed from without the system, not of being educated to be diplomats, but for political reasons.... as in how much money they spent to buy into that and 'shine', vainglory. And how wrong-headed that policy was.

That is how I remember it, at least. Good lesson never learned. And seemingly, a prophecy became fulfilled. The Wickileaks dump of cables from consulates and embassies... are devastating. Not that much of it wasn't known anyway.

Since I've lived in a small middle-european country for decades, I've seen them come and go... Austria is sort of a plum and getting the position probably involves a good deal of fund-raising for whatever President is in power. And they were all mediocre... couldn't speak the language, except Reagan's former sakrementary, and NO one liked her very much except lower intestinal acrobats. It was 'comfy', and they could feel important... but weren't taken seriously. They had no idea of the history, the culture, the arts... although one did steal a Klimt painting among other things and got away with it. (It was worth millions, btw. but would have been too 'embarassing'.

Now I'm getting really angry. Not half an hour ago, I wanted to paste in a link here. I can't get to the article any more, it's been blocked. And is a major newspaper in my country. They must be freaking out very badly over there, but I KNOW what I saw, and the headline is up, but... no access to the text, sorry....

The US was pissed off at Austria for blocking Turkey's entrance into the EU. And the purported REASON? They invaded us once.... in 1684. How 'bout that....

I think it has a LOT more to do with integration, community-wise, and a lot of other social aspects. But no, they haven't a clue....

So the sneakret organisations are gonna scramble to supress as much as they can.... (are they Russia, or something?)... but you know what? I can go out and get that paper tomorrow morning, and it is gonna TELL me what got quashed today. And no one is gonna be able to really squelch it.

Someone opened Pandora's box.

Peter was half-way alert, and he dislikes Angela Merkel. When I told him their assessment was that she wasn't 'creative', and that Sarkosi was in the Emperor's new clothes.... He fell apart laughing.

Listen, one can think what they think... but being a 'Diplomat'... you keep your counsel to yourself, unless you can tell someone 'under four eyes' with no ears around, and diss someone. You do NOT do it by public cables.

Those people have NO idea what public communication is any more, they aren't young enough. Or the ones who are--- are clueless.

I don't really CARE about it, actually. If it reforms diplomacy, fine. However.... diplomacy is deception. When it is successful, both parties coming away feeling it's a win-win... except one of the parties feels they got more than the other.

It gets to be high-school on an international level.

And no one EVER learns.

So.... they can scramble and cheat and try to figure out what to do next to rebuild the house of cards the baby crashed while you were doing creative time-out for the tots after stuffing yourselves during Thanksgiving...

Except.. I don't think it will work. Damage done.

And the others are just as bad.

Deal with it.

Tell me why I should be 'religious'...

This is just a quote from Joe.My.God... And he has them every week... And it isn't just catholics... last week rabbis seem to have pretty hormonally abnormally charged as well...

I don't think anyone is safe from religion. Especially if they are children.

"Texas: Father John M. Fiala has been charged with hiring a hit man to murder the 12 year-old boy who has accused the priest of raping him at gunpoint. Police say Fiala offered $5000 to an informant to murder the child. In a separate pending lawsuit the boy contends that Fiala's diocese had attempted to cover up his accusations of molestation."

I bought myself a present

Am on an austere savings course right now. Like, 'REALLY' austere.

So I used my credit card for the third time this year... wahoo!

DARING. And madly spent twenty Euros.

Because I found a web-site, and I like it... and it's from SWEDEN... or someplace up there...

The place is amazing. Good quality. Everything I like to watch.

And youse guys are guessing porn, right, right?

It isn't.

I get all the up to date Soaps and series running on US TV for three months at a low cost.

Can keep up with the Ven's stories much sooner than heretofore, and hunting and being frustrated, and check out things I can't get here, or don't know much about.

Good deal. If I get my calculator out... Let's see... over the past two days, I watched the full last season of Desperate Housewives. Getting them on DVD would have cost me up to fifty Euros, with the frustration of getting only half of one every four months.

And I went through the second season of Glee, and am caught up with the current third season.

Would have cost me another fifty Euros for the second, and half that again for the first half of the third. None of which I can afford at the moment.

Now.... this has no drawback. If I especially like an episode, I can view it any time I feel so inclined.

So I thought about it for a week or two. Am not in the mood to splurge. And could test drive it, and got 72 minutes of viewing here, and then it would tell you you have to wait about an hour, and can continue.... which was frustrating.

I'm incredibly stingy with myself.

So have had an interesting Thanksgiving weekend getting rectangular eyes. Quality is good, it's in English, I don't have to mess with buttons on a remote control. What could a boy wish for otherwise?

And I know some people think I am sort of a wuss, watching Desperate Housewives. I love watching it since day one. The writers and the plotting keep things coming out of left field you hardly ever see them coming. Season Six, they really stepped it up, and there were three villains in the 'hood' and you never knew what would happen next.

The current season is murky still. The murderer from season one is back, and out for vengeance. They have a new substitute for the dead Edie, Vanessa Williams being the vamp and sort of evil so far. I predcict... Mike will get killed in an oil rig disaster in Alaska. Am pretty sure of that. Susan's escapades on a web site will be exposed to the community, and she would probably move away.... although she didn't do anything nasty, she needed money, and Lainie Kazan gave her an opportunity to make money.

BTW.... that woman spread out in her back yard in other words hiney.... wow. I remember her very differently.

It's gonna be bloody.

What really got me in the current season were two episodes regarding Tom Scavo's mother. Linette gave unexpected birth to the last of her twins, the first of which she miscarried when a plane crashed on the street. And Tom wanted his mother to take care of her so Linettte could go back to work... and they realise she has beginning dementia.

Ow, wow. Those scenes were so real, I sprang a leak in my eyes, and had to blow my nose, and was otherwise useless for the day. And then talking about assisted living, and her response.

I had to leave the room. It came close. Too close.

For whoever thinks that series is a piece of fluff... or thinks it is a Soap... you are wrong. They change people's perceptions. It's not a silly series about four women in a suburb.

There is SO much more to it. And entertaining. And as much as I love Glee... The ladies on Wisteria Lane..... just rock. And it isn't a soap.

Trouble on the road ahead....

If you really want to know that you are in depression... here's a clue.

My snail-mail post box.

I go out, and pretend it isn't there.

And I am going to be 'brave' tomorrow... and empty it after three months of just walking out the corridor, not looking to the right and ignoring it.

The fucking thing is STUFFED... mostly with ads and fliers I never wanted to see.....

But... there will be some mini-bombs in there....

Nothing spectacular, but not so good, I assume.

We shall see.

This is the most horrible of the horridays... and am a grouch.

Thanksgiving drives me into belligerent overdrive.

No real news. Which has somehow gotten coupled to the US moguls, and you would think there was nothing eveer happening in the world, and everyone were stuffing themselves with turkey, and blowing up familly relationships fighting with one another. AND it SUCKS.

Of all the horridays... Thanksgiving is the worst.

Based on lies, and now some asshole in congress wants to re-write history saying the Pilgirms were escaping Socialism, when they were the most capitalist people going, and ripped off and killed the Native Population as much as they could...

(Shrug...) Well the meaning sort of changed, and everyone changed, or we saw through the smoke and mirrors... But it was always sham.

So what did I see on the news? Oh yeah, Obama got a split lip playing basketball and needed seven stitches. Well it is better than the sofa potatoes watching football on tee-vee... Whereas North Korea is being very agressive again, and it isn't funny, but that would not be what I would want to see.

A time out on a horriday is not bad. Everyone needs an hour or so to relax. People forget that Bush took three months at a time to 'cut brush'. But if there is a crisis, and North Korea bombing a south Korean Island... well that is not the time to remain passive or 'cerebral'.

Peter drives me nuts on the phone, 'Good morning, 'Mein Lieber', ' .... which is nice, but not every fifty minutes.

Not to forget that Thanksgiving was the day I lost my house. And yeah, I can grouse about it. I'd like to see you doing the Easter Ham, and suddenly get told you had to move out. Just when you were nearly through cooking for two days in advance, and an hour before the guests were to arrive.

So yes, I hate Thanksgiving. I ate some sort of fish baked with tomato and basil and deep frozen yesterday, and it tasted like old socks.... not that I've ever tasted any, but imagined it so.

No, I hate horridays. And despite what the media reports, it's still the same old thing. Some people gorge, become oblivious, but.... the world still turns and things happen, and whaddaya know, they haven't a clue because they stop for something stupid, and miss what is really important... and then looked surprised.

Well... hate to break it to you, but no one else celebrates Thanksgiving like that. And the media are remiss in saying what is really happening.

Waning...

Late November, and waiting for my train to Gamlitz. It was 11 a.m. and that is often as light as it gets some days at this time of year. High fog fields. And I was dreading going down there..... after Monday's flurry of calls. Thought I'd get a mess of stuff to hear that I didn't want to hear at-all from Admin.



Well, I got a friendly greeting from them all, which surprised me, actually. And then got the horror upstairs. First I got him shaved, which he won't let anyone do. And he said, 'After you left yesterday....' And I gently said, 'Peter... I wasn't here yesterday, I was in Graz. But what happened?' 'Our old boss came to visit me again, she's been here three times already.' 'Really... what did she want?' 'Oh, you know, to see how I am....' (There were no visitors, I checked.)



The rest of these photos were taken when I left in the afternoon, and the light was waning as much and a rapidly as he is. Went outside with him, and he sprung a leak, which embarassed him and he kept apologising to ME, for some reason. And I said, 'Hey it can happen, it's ok.' And I got him upstairs, and helped him clean up... went out for a cigarette to calm down. Juliana asked me how I was doing, and I said, 'Oh swell, can't you tell? Just beaming.' 'Doesn't look that way to me...' Riighht...


Upstairs again, he was treating the nurses' aides horribly, really in a rage, and I had to scold him. An hour before I left he was rummaging around, said he wanted to call his old bank official.

I said, 'Peter, he died about two years ago, can't you remember? He was just months from retiring, got an inoperable brain tumour and he died. You told ME that at the time.'

Well, he was grief-stricken, cried for over an hour and didn't want to believe me. And there came the inevitable. 'Something is happening to me. Why don't I KNOW this any more.' He was still crying when I left, just inconsolable.

And through all of this I had his cd of Haydn sonatas on the player I got him. It made a very odd backdrop, but in the end, wasn't a comfort, actually... except it kept ME calm...

They didn't do it in the night.

Providers normally do upgrades in the night when traffic is not so high.

But no... mine did a HUGE one in the middle of this morning, and as usual, no warning, and I had to wonder, was my modem dying, was it the provider, blah blah blah, and frustration, because I was in the middle of doing something.

That sort of thing frustrates me do death.

And got three calls from Gamlitz. He doesn't remember what happened yesterday. Thinks he has money in the bank and can go anywhere....

And I slipped and flat out told him he's losing it.

Which made me the bad guy, of course.... Will have to go there tomorrow. I dread what I will hear ín Admin, and won't get past them.

So will have to steel myself.

At least he stopped threatening to sue the Green Cross ambulance people for 'kidnapping' him....

Ewww.... Tomorrow will be 'interesting'.

I'm totally awful...

REEALLLY awful.

This week began totally badly.

A call from an ambulance heading to Graz.

Peter... he wouldn't be back in time, and I shouldn't go back down there.

'What's going ON?'

'I don't know yet.'

Well, that's sorta fuckin' great....

It was early afternoon, and the nursing home called. 'Is he back?'

And then I got both barrels. In the face. Juliana wanted to connect me, and I said no, just hang up and will call him directly. I asked what the hell was going on, and she said, 'He wants to leave the facility, so a question? Do you have any alternatives? It's just a discreet question....'

Oh man, so typical. In more than one sense. So she connected me, and he was ranting about how he was going to sue for being kidnapped, and they had him tied down in the ambulance, it must have been one of his rages. A re-run of December two years ago when he left assisted living, and I said, 'Where to the fuck you think you are going to GO, hey? Let them put you on the streets, or something?'

Juliana was concerned, and was suddenly in the room and he repeated that, and I said, 'No, she didn't say that, but it was IMPLIED, you idiot.'

'Why can't you just NOT cause TROUBLE?'

Good, his mind is a sieve, but if they had to strap him down... oh wow. But they let him call... It is probably the only way they get some piece and quiet from him, hell, I don't know. I told her I was so angry I didn't want to speak to him.

The late morning progressed with him wanting to call me, and I got really really steamed. And the second one, I dialled through, and he wasn't able to pick it up and answer, and the THIRD one. I was just thoroughly pissed off.

'I'm getting outta here.'

'Oh yes? How, may I ask?'

'I got money on my account.'

'You have 80 Euros.'

'How do you know that?'

'I have your card and get your bank statements, herrgottnochmal.'

And by then I really HAD it, and became awful. And said that I was so pissed off, I will NOT go to Gamlitz tomorrow, and I MIGHT go WEDNESDAY, and he should think about it.

He called again... and I put the phone off hook and disconnected.

So am awful. And pissed off at myself.

But sometimes... there is only so much I can take as well.

Hidden treasures......

I was talking with my father last night. About theaters in the town I grew up in. I worked in a lot of them, so know a lot about them.

But I knew of one that was so hidden, hardly anyone knew about it. I guess I couldn't find anything really relevant on Google today, but it seems it was called the Variety Theater.

I later learned that Abraham Lincoln gave an important speech there.

And I discovered it by accident.... Had a paper route, and the door was open, and it was amazing.

You have to imagine a ten year old boy wandering in there, because... it was a discovery, hey.... This wonderful place one flight up no one had ever HEARD about? And it felt incredibly sad... The store beneath used it as storage. Lots of boxes, and dust.

I didn't know it at the time, but it was very European in design. Loges all around the sides, gilded, incredibly beautiful. So my jaw literally DROPPED. So I gaped.

It was like wandering into some sort of story that ended badly very long ago, and was enchanted somehow. I sometimes still dream about it. It could have been made a jewel again, and I can imagine the lights, the audiences, the excitement....

Except... the building got razed.

That's what they do, right? History means NOTHING to 'Murkins. They replicate it in some sort of Disney World. It REALLY means nothing to those in 'power'.

I spent ten years of my life working in a cinema. It was historical. It was the last 'palace' to be built before the Depression in 1929. After the opening, they thought they would have to fold, and they asked the staff ot forego two week's pay, and they would repay them.

And they all did, and it was good.

Solidarity, hey.

The building was Art Deco. People used to come and photograph it, it was a landmark.

It was innovative for its' time.... It had a cooling system for the dog days in August.... god-awful turbines I hated to turn on because I was sure they would blow me up, they had such rachitis... and would turn on the most ginormous fans I have ever seen.... and they would blow cool air into the place. But before... the ice men came in. There were holes under the rows, and they put the ice in there. And the fans came on, and blew it over the ice, and it was... whaddaya know, air conditioning.

I loved that building, I loved discovering all the secrets, it was phenomenal.

Just the lobby would bowl you over. Huge, high, chandeliers to die for... staircases you'd want do ascend and DEscend in gala clothes. If you were feeling nostalgic one day...

It was a palace. And I sort of lived there for ten years.

There are so many stories I could tell.

And today?

It's a parking lot, they razed it to the ground. I cried. It was home to me. But I know... somewhere in the front cellar, my name is in spray paint in yellow, so I'm there. We used to keep up the paint on the letters for the marquee, you see, and sort of messed around. We were young... once.

This is indicative of so many things I find wrong. If something is your heritage, you treasure it, and don't turn it into Disney World, or fuck it up.

So yes, it makes me sad.

I 'Lost It at the Movies' as well....

With humble apologies to the late Pauline Kael, movie reviewer of the NY Times. She had a book out with that title in the 60's, and I remember liking it very much.

I was up most of the night... one of the ones that make you mind-surf, and was writing 'The Venerable'. At first it had to do with my soap, and how Todd was getting back to form, torturing Marty, and how he had had her gang-raped in his frat house ages ago.

It rang a bell, as we say. Long story short? I was twelve or so, and ran errands to get my 35 cents' admission price for the double features on Saturdays. On this one Saturday, there was an over-long one, 'The Devil At Four O'clock', and all the kiddies left, mostly, and the second one was 'Town Without Pity'. Which begins with a rape, US occupying forces in Germany brutalising Christine Kaufmann. And the townspeople make HER the villain, and Kirk Douglas had to defend the rapist. I got that much of the story, and the luminous clock inside was telling me, 'You have to be HOME, youngster'. And I kept thinking, 'Oh, just another ten minutes, just another ten minutes...'

Well Da Ven came in of a sudden, and marched me home. It was a SIN not to be home for meals, back then, and actually, I was very punctual, so they were worried.

And I was sort of preoccupied with what I had seen and thinking out loud, which is a bad habit of mine, and said, 'Well, at least I now know what rape means.'

He doesn't remember that, but I'll never forget the expression on my parents' faces. I wouldn't say shocked, more like... 'How do we DEAL with this?'

Well, it was certainly a discussion we never had, but I was ok with it. Took me forty years to see the end of the movie, in Graz, of all places. It was actually good.

So he said he couldn't remember that theater showing films, it was a variety show place. But they did when I was twelve. I never went there much on Saturdays, but sure got some defining moments there.

Like Billy Wilder's 'One Two Three'. I saw that one twice, which meant I really really loved it. It flopped back then. It was filmed in Berlin, and the East Germans put up the Wall just as it was released. James Cagney played a Pepsi Cola magnate, and gave a scathingly funny performance. It was hilarious, but vicious, even I figured it out as a kid. And farce of the best sort. His daughter falls in love with a Communist (Horst Buchholz) and he weens him away from that with capitalist goodies, it was amazing, and so funny, I got cramps... from laughing. And the absolute highlight was the incredible Lilo (Liselotte) Pulver doing a wacky number on a table to the Fire Sable Dance. (For me, at the time, I guess.)

A few years ago, the film got rehabilitated, and became a hit forty some odd years after the fact. Which made me realise I had some sort of taste... just sayin'

So yeah, I guess 'I Lost It at the Movies', all right. I don't think those two influenced me in any way to make the decisions I made... but I remember those two with fondness. They were just two films among literally thousands I've seen. They just stuck out.

I guess I could do a blog just on that... except someone already is. It's called 'Tired Old Queen At The Movies.' Once you get past the histrionics, and all, he's a wealth of information of 'news you can't use, but like very much'. You can take a look HERE but sort of fasten your seat-belts. Steve Hayes is just outlandish. And very knowledgeable.

Except.... I'm glad I didn't lose it at the movies the way he did....

Have some Gene Pitney to sweeten up your Sunday.




And you can see the trailer HERE. I got two things wrong in my memory. Kirk Douglas was defending the rapist, but he knew what he was putting Christine Kaufmann through and hated it. And I always thought they filmed it in Germany. It was filmed in Austria.

And adding a trailer from Wilder's hilarious One Two Three. I'd forgotten how funny Arlene Francis was. Lilo Pulver floored me, she was so funny. She is still alive, and a VERY respected actress and entertainer, lives in Switzerland, and am a fan.



So have a fun Sunday. I'm going back to bed. The most productive part of my day. But just found a trailer. Kirk Douglas was very handsome. And Christine Kaufmann is still absolutely beautiful.

This blew me away...



It isn't the best quality, and yes, it's playback.

However.... I was catching up with Glee on a website, because... da Ven's series is there, but yesterday's wasn't up yet.. Now I had heard a LOT about that episode when it originally aired, so it was something to look forward to.

So let's get this straight, ok? I've never really been a fan of Madonna. Peter is... gawwd, he was taken with her from the very start. It was interesting, but I wasn't enthralled by any means. I liked Cindy Lauper better, because she was sorta loose... the image she projected, and I found her fun.

What I absolutely loved about the episode was the kids turning Jane Lynch into a glamour queen. I was stunned.

In order to understand that... her character, Sue, is a witch on wheels, a dikey gym teacher who tortures her cheerleading team, and who is out to destroy the Glee club by any means necessary, but has a secret. And finally lets it OUT.

Nice to know I'm not the only one who yells at the tee-vee screen, or starts talking to the pc.

Enjoy.

And whaddaya know... there ARE death panels in 'Murka

And the Rethugs created them.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy



Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Don't touch my junk 2

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I'm in a very weird mood tonight...relationships

Being chased by ghosts of the past. You'd think it would be something like Dickens, and it even isn't December, hey...

Thinking about women... and why they do what they do. Yeah, that's a new one, right?

I didn't get the message, somewhere along the line. Except that they were awesome... in a good way, somehow, but I didn't ever understand it.

We're going back generations, here, so just click off, it wouldn't be interesting, it's just a bit of history.

I have known two women in my life... who were sort of brave. And married men who were gay in the Thirties and Forties to keep them out of trouble, but they loved them. And I always thought, 'WHOA! How could you DO that?'

Yes, it was the Nazi regime, and they did something daring... but they never dissolved their relationships afterward. That was the amazing part.

Of the two... Margarete was incomprehensible to me. Lovely, always laughing, cooking up a storm to keep 'her' guy, who was alway running around hanging out in WC's, and had the audacity to brag about his 'latest' conquest in front of her... And she would LAUGH.

I was stymied. I didn't understand anything they would do. It was 'refreshing', in that they were honest... but made me uncomfortable... Andreas had this eyebrow thing. He could lift just one and look like the devil... He was thin as a rail, and she was apple-cheeked, round. Because she ate what he didn't.

They were always at our house for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.... Andreas was Peter's boss in a book store when he was young, and they were in their Seventies. And we had a hell of a lot of fun.

Our first Christmas in the house... well we didn't have much in the way of furniture, and Peter was OH, CHRISTMAS TREE... (Right) So I got a HUGE one. Like it went to the ceiling, which was three meters high. And it was easy enough to get IN... but taking it down, I was near hysterics trying to get the fucking thing OUT.

Peter called Andreas, who lived across the park from us, and he was gleeful and arch, and funny, and he DID get it out of the window. And he never let me live it down, but it was funny, and we bonded over that.

Andreas fell some years ago trying to get on a tram in late December. It wasn't the fall. He had picked something up in WWII that messed him up so badly, it came to the fore, and he died. Margarete died six months later.

So that is one side of the coin. They caused me much wonderment, and were loving and lovely.

The other side wasn't so positive. 'Jane'. I've never talked about her. She was amazing and funny, and very odd. She married a man who was a math teacher. And had to bail him out under the Nazi regime when he got caught in flagranti in Trieste. Trolling for young boys. So she saved him... but she wreaked revenge on him for the rest of his pitiful life. I was witness to how she treated him, and it wasn't good. He begging her in the lobby for some money to get a hot dog, and she throwing 20 Schillings on the floor, and screaming at him.

And him leaving brokenly.

So yeah, I don't understand women at all...

It's interesting... one who rescues a man and goes on keeping him and oh yes, they had to have daughter to 'prove' he wasn't 'twisted'. She's sorta weird, but what would you expect, hey. A crack shot on shooting ranges. I don't wanna know who she is imagining when she sees a target..

And the other, who goes on an emotional rampage... and then leaves everything she has to a gay man. And never had a child.

I don't know.... tonight is sorta weird, and thoughts of my past are sort of haunting me.

Sometimes... you get a geography lesson

Remember those... fifty years ago? The best ones.... came from the spinsters who saved their dollars, and got the hell out of the trap they were in for the summer. And they would come back in September, and fully captivate you with tales of what foreign lands looked like, how nice the people were, and tell you about the cultures they had seen.

That is pretty good teaching...

I would think even today.

So I love going on Sitemeter, and then I get to travel to wonderful places via Google Earth... and see where people live and what it looks like.

It is beyond cool. Yesterday... I didn't even have to get out of my chair, and I visited California. It seems very beautiful. I have never been there. I had a friend from San Diego once. He died. Tragically. Having grown up on the East Coast... well, the West Coast was equidistant to Europe, and I headed off in the other direction. Life is sort of 'odd'.

So I never did that. Peter did. He was in San Francisco once and will never forget that... at least. He fell in love with that city. And Beirut. (Austrians are sorta complicated.) And we had the finest San Diegans in our house and spoiled them rotten. Just because we COULD.

We sort of did that with all our guests. So I am sorta kinda feeling sorry for myself... I never visited California. I was afraid of the earthquakes, I guess. Except I experienced them elsewhere in the world, if only light ones.

I'd hear some radio report, and jump on the phone PANICKED.. 'Are you Ok?'

And they would laugh. 'Are you all RIGHT?' and they would laugh more. 'The bed just jumped around the room' and they would laugh so hard... Seemingly they thought it was 'fun'.

I don't know.. there are places in the world I would really want to visit... but California sorta spooks me. Although the people there are wonderful.

It's sort of mysterious.

Seemingly.... I'm a degenerate....

Which is sorta nice... it has it's perks...

I was 'supposed' to go to Gamlitz today.

Wellll... I woke up at two a.m. Splitting headache, which is no fun at all. And it is raining BUCKETS. And I thought... oh no, Preciousses... am not gonna DO this. Twenty minutes out on the square till the bus comes, UM brella or not? Uh-uh. It's one of our dark, tunnel days, in other words. It never gets light.

So I called, and Peter was half-way 'himself'... and said, 'No, don't come, I have a cold and I don't want to give it to you.'

Well, since he ran off two days last weekend in a tee-shirt and shorts.... IN NOVEMBER... why am I not surprised?

Sheee-it.

There has been SO much on 'Don't Touch my Junk'

About travelling to and out of and within the US....

But hearing about intense body pat-downs, and radioactive nude screenings....

I Loved the guy who said, 'Don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested.'

I jumped up and cheered.

It's always been terrible, going in or out. Always. But being so invasive, and so personal.....

Well.. Da Ven got a humiliating search at a local small airport a few years ago... he just wanted to go see a football game... The search was IN PUBLIC. You really want to wrap your minds around that one... Because, you see, he had knee joint replacements and they kept setting off the metal detectors. He TOLD them, but no... they had to do a number on a ninety plus year old man. Bravo. I get angry when I even THINK about it.

And people keep asking me about why I will never want to GO there. It isn't about after when they let you in... It's the humiliation you have to go through when you land. I've had the 'honour' of being on both sides of the problem.

Went in as an Ami under Nixon. It was terror city. Which ended with an agent unrolling a computer print-out, and telling me everything I 'did' while out of the country. Intimidation, that seemed to be the goal. I just shrugged. But never trusted them again.

And every time, every time I went back there... Immigration was the fucking pits, hostile, angry, insulting...

I used to tell Peter... 'If we treated our visitors the way they do, we'd be bankrupt.'

The last time I set foot on that continent... it was my gift to the Ven, who had been here for a few weeks on a visit. And we had different passports. So we had to go to different venues, and it was really creepy on one level... splitting up a family. Don't want to elaborate on it, but it was more than uncomfortable.

Aaannnd.. as usual, I got a total asshole. Oh fucking wow. He TURNED my passport over and over, and ramained silent. And I thought, 'What the FUCK is he up to?' Cleared my throat and said, 'I have a return ticket.'

'OH, we KNOW you have a return ticket...' So fucking gay, btw.

I was BOILING inside... but remained outwardly calm... and then I lost it.

'Listen, I've been gone for fifteen years, I am here to visit my family, and THEN, after ten days, I'm going BACK because I have a job and have to WORK.'

Well, that fucker took his time, and laconically stamped a visa in my passport.

I'd love to have strangled him on the spot... inside, I mean.

And people keep ASKING me why I wouldn't go back there, ever, not in a million years....

Y'know... no one here has ever done stuff like that pre 9/11. And they don't do it now, have flown to Rome, and Sicily...

No one bothered us in any way.

The only pat down I got---- other than the local police who harrassed me if they were new on the beat and shoved me up against a brick wall and were mostly... MOSTLY... appropriate were rookie cops.... and a 'professional' one in the airport at Hamburg. Except, there were REAL terrorists roaming about.

But I have to love that kid on the news... 'Don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested.'

And THAT is stellar.

And no... no one ever touched my junk. As far as police searches went. Bravo.

I must have a virus and am fully delusional....

I HATE 'Morning Joe'... But Mika Brzenski, supporting a presidential run by fucking Donald Trump???? And marriage is a matter of economics? Oh, just shoot me. Dead.

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Egg on your face.... or Don't You Just HATE it when...

your pc decides to do 'funny' stuff.....

Take today... please... I'd been up for hours, surfing where I wished to go, and it was time to check in on the Ven's show and catch up on the doings there. The person who was uploading the Soap on YouTube suddenly quit a few days ago, so I had a helluva time finding a new access. His doesn't seem to be so popular, or something. I have several alternatives for mine.

Whatever, after answering his mail... I checked in with 'Soapalia'... which is free so far, but with a time limit, and then you have to register. And pay. Well, they'd throw me out of Scotalnd for being stingy, as they say here... but it's only thirty-seven minutes, thus free, and way short of an hour.

So... being cheerful, I clicked in to see what the hell all his favourite characters are up to. No sound. Clicked yesterday's... no sound. Turned it off, re-booted... no sound. And turned the air blue with 'coises'. It was late afternoon, so I had to do something fast. So I turned it off, packed it up, and took it post-haste to the Klinik across the street, because, as we all know... it always happens on a weekend, or nearly there, never on a Monday.

So I explained, turned it on.... and the sound was back.

Egg on your face, hey, you can do what you like, pc's are the most ornery, fickle, idiotic things going. At least it didn't cost me anything.... except a bit of my pride...

So I brought it home, and put it back on life support, and live-blogged the episode per post for my Dad. 'His' story decided to have a virus outbreak just when everyone's sneakrets were about to be revealed. Way to go. I know it is sweeps month, but they aren't gonna win with that old chestnut.

It sort of reminded me of the time of the avian flu outbreak, and the media driving everyone nuts for fear, and having a convention coming in to where I worked, and they were all from the affected areas. I mean, what the hell, everyone is expendable, correct? I tensed, and then thought... what the hell....

Nothing happened.

So what are they up to now, those idjit writers?

hmmm.. odd...

I got up at 2 a.am. today. just couldn't sleep. So I messed around on the internets.... hoping to get sleepy. And I noticed something because my legs hurt after a while. My legs swelled from above the ankle to the bottom of the calf. And an intense headache. I figured this one out from my GP... he wanted to see that one day, which I found weird. And said it was from my heart. (He's such a peach.... Not.)

Those two little areas feel like John McCain's cheeks.

Sigh...

I don't wanna know. Just do not.

Race baiting....

HOW does Rush Limpballs get the allowance to do the shit he does?

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Right.... health care... some people are monsters

Phyrrhic victory...


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And if I would ever have wanted to be murdered....

I'd have .... no, not in a kazillion years. Two hundred twenty-nine dollars for THAT... get me my breathaliser.

Deep breath. The horridays were bad enough, ok? And it had to be traditional. With wax candles on holders which made me anxious enough as it was... And very traditional. I made inroads, I did... put on a string of lights... white ones, because nothing else would have been accepatble. And I didn't have to hold my breath and hope the tree didn't catch fire.

That he liked...

If I had brought one of THOSE home...

I would have suffered physical harm. What is WRONG with those people?

Can we spell hypocrite?

More of the same...

for those who think there was nothing before Stonewall..
















Hmm... you might find this interesting.


As to the above.... what WAS that again about Don't Ask, Don't Tell?????

And Blogger is driving me crazy not wanting to format this as I wanted it.








And now I am gonna bore your tits off...

In three days, the second-last Harry Potter film will open.

Yeah, groan all you want.

I fell in love with those books. I only read them because the right said they were evil, was on vacation, and said to myself, 'what the hell is wrong here? They can't be that subversive...' So I read the first three in paperback, and the fourth was out in hardback. And I was hooked.

I'd compare it to reading the 'Lord of the Rings' Trilogy, actually.. I'd been complaining to a friend, and he was reading almost as much as if not more than I was at the time, and there was a lull in publishing, and he said, 'Try Tolkien.' Well... a trilogy, hey.... wasn't gonna buy them all at once, why bother if you didn't like the first one, you know? And after the first chapter, I thought, 'My gawwd, what the hell is HE on? It's a children's book.' But then the Black Riders came on the scene, and I was totally hooked. And it became clear that you could interpret it on very many levels, and it was poetic, and beautiful. You don't get that very often, even reading seven to ten books a week over forty years. It was a Saturday, and when I'd finished... everything was closed till Monday, and I had to wait for the rest. That is how I felt about this series, but sometimes it took a year or more. oooo.

So I only cracked open the first one in the Potter series... and was sort of amazed. And in that week, I got the hard-cover number four, and was hooked. The films are sorta good. But never match the power and detail of the books, just impossible. But yes... will go see the newest. At the cinema that runs it in the original English, because NO one... can do Snape like Alan Rickman. He sends veritable shivers down my spine.

And am looking forward to seeing how he does these last ones. Because what is perceived as good can be evil, and vice versa, according to the book. And it is true enough. So... it'll be fun. Maybe. Or distract me, at least. Those books just aren't ONLY for children, believe me.

Picked out my birfday present...

The second part of the first season of Glee out of the UK.





Yup, am a Gleek. I kept hearing about the series, and was sort of 'bah, Humbug' about it, but reports kept building. It's since rated the gayest show on the tee-vee there. Except I really don't see it from that perspective at all. I find it very original, funny, touching in many ways, and with a range of music that goes from Charlie Chaplin (Smile) to the present and is very integrated into the story lines.

So I don't just watch it for the music numbers. The emerging stories of the kids are fascinating and reality based, and THAT is what makes it so good. I am SO waiting to see what the hell really drives Sue Sylvester (the incredible Jane Lynch) on that show. Jane won the Emmy for that role the first season... and deservedly. So the clips above are the topping, but the really good parts are the stories of the kids. And I think they are very talented. Lea Michelle has had roles on Broadway, and a couple of the others, I believe.

Whatever... I guess they win the regionals in the second half of the first season, and well they should. And suppose they go on to try to take the national trophy. Am sure 'Sue' will be hell on wheels for obstacles. It is a very good, fresh and ultimately uplifting series, and I enjoy it because there is no saccharine, no Disney, and yet real.

Tja, so that's what I'm giving myself. That thing at the end, 'To Sir, With Love'.... zoomed me right back to 1969 when I was at that age... I'd love to have cursed the producers and writers for doing that.... they friggin' made my eyes leak. right-click to see full screen on YouTube.

Update: I didn't catch it the first time, but two things freaked me. 'We don't care what the judges say, we won.' So they didn't. And that very last shot of Sue.... she must have done something really bad, and is regretting it. So I guess I get a good birfday present. And I'd like to wring Sue's neck. And keep asking what the HELL is WRONG with you? Tja, will know once it gets here...