SOMEONE with a lot of money....

should hire a 'Gawd squad' or something of the sort to detain him and de-programme Chris Matthews vulgo 'Tweety ' on the 'intertubes'. Whenever I have the misfortune to see or hear his latest in verbal diorrhea, I get dry heaves. And he is racist, misogynist, and has this THING for guys whom he perceives as macho. And his cheerleading after Dumbya showed off his basket after the 'Mission Accomplished' debacle was embarrassing enough. I find him genuinely disturbing.

And that MOUTH! I don't know what he did with his Frat brothers, but I bet they were more than happy.

But I bet there was more.

CLASSIC closet case. And your PERFECT lower intestinal acrobat---passive.

Some people don't get called 'ass-wipes' for nothing.

Ok, now I am being 'mean'. I just get upset when people have all this set before them as if it were the truth..

So can we de-prgramme him now, or get him off the air??

Just stay away from the cheerleaders..
just sayin'

Well, that didn't take long...

I've linked to Teacherken over at Kos before. We seem to be the same age.

It is a good read. So scat, and click the title, ok?

Eloquent man.... just sayin'.

Push-me Pull-me

Blogger and Lazarus decided to join forces again, and run me into the ground.

We hates them forever, Preciousses.... tricksy, snide, theives!

But it was typical for my day, today, push-me pull me.

I 'think' that was a double headed siamese twin Llama in Dr. Doolittle. Never saw it.

I had to drop everything and do stuff for Peter. Get his house cleaned, for instance. From the social services, and then call three companies who can turn his home into a place for the handicapped, and the cost is 20% that you have to pay for yourself. It sounds kinda skeery as a friend of mine would say.

That is the pull me part.

The Push me part is horrible. Just horrible, and I have to make a decision.

That he gets a small one-room place that he can handle.

I get SO at the end of my rope, lately...

And everything, EVERYTHING inside me is screaming, 'he can't DO it anymore.' And in the end, I feel guilty. After thirty one years, and it is NOTHING. I HAVE to find a solution and move on...

NO one should love that much. Maybe one day, it won't be so difficult.

ARE we living in the twenty-first century? Sometimes I wonder...

Oh my....

The link is in the title.

Sir Karl Popper maintained that everything is developing faster than our brains can handle.

Some days, I think he might have been right.

I saw the news today... Oh Boy!

Such a fucking fuss, hey. The sHIll won PA. Wow, awsome. Except it wasn't. The expected margin of winning was 20 per cent. So she lost half her gain.

This isn't mysoginistic, but the more I see of her, the less I like her. She would do ANYTHING to ruin her own party, she lies constantly, she has resorted to divisive, aggressive arguments to advance her cause, and been a lower intestinal acrobat to lobbyists who want a piece of the cake.

And that was the NICE part of what I think....

I watched her 'acceptance' speech on a channel today, one that usually brings just the news, but they had a German expert on for comment after they show the entirety with a perfect translation. And then they brought Barack in Indiana. Night and Day, hey....

I'm not crazy about Barack. But I AM tired about the race issue. And I liked what he said.

He won't be able to keep half of the promises he is making, but he has a clue as to how to get 'Murika' back on track. So I would go for that.

The 'expert' told us something 'telling'. As long as a camera is running, the sHill is 'on'. Then she gets intropsective. And when the break is over... she's on, scripted, 'perfect'. Stepford wife. Obama seems off the cuff, but is just as scripted. But he does it better. It comes across as spontaneous.

I wouldn't even CARE if the outcome weren't crucial to the rest of the world. AND it IS.

Bush and his cohorts ruined the rest of the world as we used to know it. It became more dangerous, divisive, and everybody lost except the rich. How wonderful.

So i hope the sHill enjoyed her day in the sun.

And if she inteds to take it to Denver in August......

'The Whole World is Watching', dear.

Just when you think you digested disturbing things...

It turns out you did NOT.

I lend my dvds to a very nice lady, and if it is good, she shows her daughters, age 13 and 16. And the oldest is at the age where she can see a horror film if her Mom says it is all right... And she has been PUSHING her to lend me her films. So I got to see Final Destination Three today.

It was a hell of a lot of fun, and I got a kick out of it.

But she also wanted me to see 'Munich', by Steven Spielberg. Because her Mom knew that I was there in '72.

I couldn't get past the first fifteen minutes. And then I started crying and had to turn it off.

I never usually talk about this, but those weeks before the attack? Those poor people were the HIT of the village. They intermingled, were open to the world, and they got attacked and killed.

I had to stand on a balcony in the dark six floors up and passively watch them herded like cattle into helicopters who took off in front of my face without being able to do ANYTHING about it.

The rest of the night I washed grapes and listened to a lousy transistor radio bringing us the gun-fire- and explosions in Fürstenfeldbrück at the airport.

Oh yeah. And innocent people DIED.

So no, I have never EVER gotten over that. Seemingly. Because I knew them and spoke with them and they were decent.

So what did REVENGE have to do with it? I know Spielberg meant well, but, the first fifteen minutes were so hurtful for me personally, I just could not watch any more...

Some one of these days I am going to have to confront that trauma. But it is not now. And that is when I found out that the media are clueless pigs.

Update: 22nd April. I returned the videos today with a little gift for Tanya, who lent them to me. And finished watching 'Munich' at Peter's yesterday, because I just could not watch it alone. I spent the first fifteen minutes in the kitchen, because I just couldn't take it. It still upsets me to the max. The rest was surprising, to say the least. I'd never heard that the CIA worked with the PLO to enable the revenge assasinations, and that so many other groups were involved in that. It was more than frightening

There were some flashbacks to what happened in those thirty hours in that house, and I had to leave the room. I wasn't even thirty meters away, when that guy in the ski mask came out on the balcony with a machine gun. There was so much commotion going on, it was only after that I got a case of the creeps. The so-called journalists were getting on this theory that the radical left students had let them in. If there had been anything like a stake or something, I would have caused serious damage to someone, they were such assholes. Crass, as we say...

Turned out that some drunk American athletes helped the guys over the fence. Swell.

It was supposed to be open Games.. To get away from the debacle of the 1936 image of the Games in Berlin. You could get in and out without a real pass check on your id card. And the MSM USA wasn't helpful. Every article in Time magazine began with, 'Munich, which is only 18 miles away from Dachau...' My friend Günther, virtually FORCED me to to see Dachau. I'd read enough, I didn't want to go. The museum is well concepted, but back then, the explanations were only in German. And the tourists only spoke English. I fled at the middle of it. And toured the grounds. Günther came after me. That was before the attacks, and it upset me terribly.

A thunderstorm came up, and we had to take shelter in the crematorium. It was so small for the volume of people who were cremated there.... If you are young and imprssionable, those aren't the things you want to carry with you as emotional baggage.

The storm passed, the tourists came out, and they posed before the horrible sculpture of skeletal figures, and said, 'smiiiile!' Stupid, stupid people.

I wanted to THROW UP!

(It always hits me in the stomach...) I will NEVER forget that. Never. You weren'there if you hadn't visited Dachau. Well, Thank you TIME Magazine..,.. Assholes...

One thing Spielberg got definitely WRONG. The hostages weren't just tied at the wrist and given their seats in the helicopters... I was THERE. They came up in two busses, and their hands were tied... BUT... they were also tied up in groups, jsut like cattle. Circular, you know? In a group of four or five.

It rocked my world, and it hasn't stopped.

There must have been SOMETHING I coud have done. And it haunts me to this day.

Am just speecless....

Ok, am waiting... but nada. Just when you think you heard the Pope apoligising for child abuse

---and German television maintained that the Pope apologised for the child molestation scandals when he landed in Washington, he added a qualifier.

NO ONE has picked up on it.

No one. I jumped out of the chair and threw things at Peter's television, I was so angry.

Because he added it wouldn't have happened if American moral values hadn't sunken so low.

WHA?

Ok. Let's go at this one step at a time. Did anyone out there tell their little Jane to raise her skirt in confession and show a little thigh in the confessional? Or little Johnny to rub his crotch in the same stiuation? And maybe he gets a scholarship later on?

No, I didn't think so.

I had a very odd situation in my youth in a confessional. That priest scared me, and I never went back again.

And when I read a year or so ago that over 100 priests in my diocese were molesting children, and got quietly shunted off to 'elsewhere ' thanks to the bishop of Massachussets, I was dis-fucking-gusted.

So what was that for an apology? WE are to blame?

NO. If you are a child, and your parents teach you what to watch OUT for regarding dangers in the world, you have the antennae, and KNOW, 'get outta here NOW!'

So where the FUCK does he get off, blaming the vicitims and their parents?

Apology? It was an attack.

He used the pivot and turned it right back around to the victims.

And he should just fuck off.

And NOW I am gonna take a second blood pressure pill and go to bed.

Update, finally a reaction found via Mikes's blog round-up on Crooks and Liars nearly 72 hours later, and that via the BBC. Link is here.

Just when you think, hey...

I am going to KILL Lazarus, and Blogger...

Gawd....

Ok, where was I? Oh yes. I jaunted through the blogosphere this afternoon.

What a revelation. I LOVED Ratzi's apology, I really did. He is so ashamed that his priests molested thousands of children, world-wide. How humble. But then he brought in the pivot, it wouldn't have happened if moral values hadn't fallen in the US.

So we taught Annie and John to lift up their clothes in confession, and expose their secrets underneath and ask to touch Mr. Wiggle. Right.

2.) Rachel Maddow needs her own show. Like six months ago. I love her, and her intellect, and she doesn't dish out bullshit.

There is more, but am tired.

Nite...

Ren

Just when you think you know what country you live in...

You end up starting to wonder....

For weeks now, Austrian national radio has brought reports on the elections. With 'experts' from Murika, probably brain-washed from the MSM.

And the message is very clear. The sHill is 'da bomb', ok? OBambi? Well, there is this problem, you see. He isn't electable. Because he is sort of brown in skin tone. Which I can understand, growing up where I did.... But it always comes with the qualifier that his main support comes from the rabble rousing mob, the uneducated, and.... people who are various shades of brown. It is so insulting, I could puke. If it were up to the sHill, only people with a college education would be allowed to vote.

Well, just as a matter of speculation, what if the criteria for a Presidink was that you have to be Protestant, English, uncircumsised, and of some sort of royal descent? How would that go down? And the dirty tricks would be finding someone in the family tree who was IRISH, or god forbid, FRENCH.

Absurd? Probably...


I am just trying to put it into perspective here...

We are all xenophobic in some way... But it doesn't mean we have to STAY that way....

And I do not like these people bringing in such damaging things from overseas. We have problems enough without them pouring gasoline on the flames....

Just when you think things go forward... they go back

Well whaddaya know, hey....

Just woke up in the early (somewhat early) evening, and had this 'dream'. Right. Since my kick-out, I have been dreaming some weird stuff. In Technicolor and stereophonic sound. Most of it is so obvious, it doesn't take Freud to figure it out.

But today's is really weird---and turned out to be true.

All I can remember is Peter having called, and I was stuck on a wall, and the only thing I could see was the chandelier on the ceilingat an impossible angle, and nothing made sense. Where WAS I, hey... I guess I really worked myself up to a frenzy this afternoon. Because I just woke up in bed at ten pm. So I guess you shouldn't mix your meds with a half-bottle of light white wine.

Especially if you are having a very bad day...

On getting up, the computer is running, the telephone horn was on the floor, and all signs point to the fact that I fell off my stool and knocked myself out. I was exhausted and despondent. And Peter probably called from his neighbors' house. And I couldn't figure out where I WAS.

SOMETHING is gonna have to change.... and fast.

Am SICK of being a victim.

Just when you think you are pulling your act together.... circumstances tell you you have a very long way to go....

I do not know how I got back into bed. I have a light headache, but no concussion.

Ok. NOW I am off the charts for upset.....

Bad morning. Kafka people badgering me...

But then! whoo, hoo! The German tv news journal gave us a great piece of news. About 'noise'. And what did you think the EU decided?

Orchestras are too loud. Really. (Don't they have anything ELSE to worry about?) I was stunned, I tell you, stunned, So they 'decided' that an orchestra can't exceed 37 decibels, and found that a flute going at full pitch exceeds that of a plane taking off. (WHA?') They 'ordained' that all musicians have to wear ear plugs. I am NOT making this up. And the musicians are frustrated because they can't HEAR.

Herbert von Karajan must be turning over in his GRAVE, hey.

I was fucking speechless.

This really goes beyond the pale.

It has been my privelege to attend many top-notch classical concerts in my life, and I can NOT figure this out. It wasn't acid rock with one hundred decibels MORE.

If it got loud, it was generic. But it was beautiful music.

The people behind this are definitely fascist, or fucked up, and I just go spitless when I see this stuff.

So what is going on? Another attempt to dumb people down?

I know, it is not a part of most people's lives there. I had an uncle who got stoned from mean kids, and slowly went deaf. And till he lost it, he loved classical music. And he taught me about it, and gave me his knowledge, and everything else. He was part of my education.

Decibel levels.... Fuck.

What the FUCK else are they going to 'regulate' before they are through? What a mind-fuck.'

Instead of real issues... Was chatting at the market with my friend Millie. I told her I was going to the demo. She said, 'you Do that. It's about time...'

So, the peeps are scared, But you do what you have to do.,..

I saw the news today...oh boy...

Tja.

I claimed a moratorium on watching the news, because it depressed me. Am depressed enough.

Well, it doesn't get any better....

A friend of mine has been yelling 'Great Depression' like our grandparents had. She is so right. After my moratorium, it only got worse.

We all go about our daily lives, and think we are the middle point of the world. We have our lives, out interests, but that is irrelevant.

So today, I looked outside my coccon. And the fucking world changed. Presto-change-o . Just like that... People are going to CHANGE this.

And whaddaya KNOW, huh?

I think I am gonna DO something about it.

I think I know how...

Wish me luck, because I have never been there before...

But am confidant....

DVD review: Beloved Jane

Just came out here. A biograhical film about two years in Jane Austen's life. I had read two of her six novels a very long time ago. Seems I was too young to appreciate them properly, and hadn't known much about her life. This film certain certainly corrected that omission. Stars Anne Hathaway, Julie Walters, James McAvoy, James Cromwell and Maggie Smith. Everything about the film is perfect. Amusing, romantic, and in the end tragic. And you learn a lot.

Made me go back and take out 'Pride and Predjudice', which she was writing at the time the above film takes place. With Keira Knightly in the main role. And this time it made much more sense to me.

'Beloved Jane' is well worth seeing.

Just when u think it is Spring...

The whole world decides to torpedo it....

Yup...

Gawwwd, I got up this morning, and wanted to do great feats of bureaucratic SHIT. And I filled out my forms, and was ready to rumble. And whaddaya know, hey. I FORGOT to take my ATM card out of the cigarette machíne, AGAIN! (third time...) Between three and four in the morning.

(I was writing something, and ran out. And sleepwalking...)

So... all's well that ends well... but it messed up my day.... Just sayin'.

Just when you think you may have had a twin brother...

It turns out----you DID! But he died in utero, and got absorbed in your spine. It is a fairly weird phenomenon, but also fairly common, it seems. And one day in your early twenties, you wake up and nearly shout because of the pain, and can hardly put your pants on. And the doctor in emergency looks at you and says, 'Why didn't you TELL me your ass is swollen.' And I'm thinking, 'Wha???' And I said, 'I don't normally LOOK at my ass in a mirror, so how would I be ABLE to tell?' (The guy must had issues, asking that question in the first place.) There IS a point to this, keep reading.

Well, I had the best insurance policy at the time, and had co-pay for ten per cent of all costs, for two days in the hospital and the operation. One THOUSAND dollars in 1972. Which is why I had to get a government loan to study in Salzburg. Whatever, he explained that I would have had a twin brother. But I guess I killed him. It was odd and with a sense of loss attached. All I could think of was Cain and Abel. Oddly, three other co-students my age in my clique had to have the same operation at the same time. We used to run to classes at UNH with donuts in pillow cases to sit on for seminars. Unpleasant? You bet. But we laughed muchly. I was lucky. Mine nested himself at the end of the spine above the anus. The others, well, they had to go inside and that was infinitely worse.

Today, I read THIS, and thought, if my twin brother had lived, that would be him, because it reflects exactly what I think.

That is how he would have been....

Just sayin' I am a shadow of that.

The April Fool

Don't wish to go into it, but the weekend was the pits.

I busted my butt to get something done, and got shot down. And the result? Peter was so rude, the person helping because he likes ME, is never gonna set foot in the house again. I had to go over and do damage control, hey....

And the guy remembers Peter from the Seventies. Peter used to ask him to get 'rent-boys', and he won't tell me what else he knows. This is a small town, and everyone knows everything about everyone. The rent-boy stuff doesn't bother me really. I wasn't exactly an angel. But the things hinted at DO, and I have heard them elsewhere. From sources I should have considered to be more reliable.

Sometimes we go through life with blinkers, you know? And you get USED without even knowing it, or recognising it.

So I am the April fool.

For some years now. It sort of hurts, when someone lets the scales fall off your eyes by the TONS....

Just sayin'

So yes, it was a pit weekend.