Well, here we go....

Update. Whee. Fireworks....






So far fairly quiet for a Silvester evening, probably about one third of the racket we had last year.

And so this terrible year is coming to a close. Had a phone call from the wife of a regular guest from Montreal a half hour ago. We had sent the usual Christmas card. He passed away in September, it turns out. I have known him for over three decades. He was a furrier, made some beautiful things.

As usual, it was a difficult conversation. You never get used to that, or ever find the right words to express your regret. Not really. It is never easy, I guess. Just when you think things can't get any more depressing, they tend to anyway.

So, will close out this year with the sincere wish for anyone dropping by here that the coming year will be a good one for a change, and a healthy one for all. And Happy New Year to everyone in Australia and New Zealand. You've already got the madness behind you as we are just winding up for it.

Power Cycling and Perfidious Marketing

'Power cycling' is the term John Amato of Crooks and Liars came up with yesterday to describe staying home ill, and watching an entire season of a teevee series in a very short period of time. He maintains it is a far more intense experience, and the viewer catches much more of the subtlety of plot and action than seeing one on a week-to-week basis, and I agree wholeheartedly.
Of course, it depends on the series one chooses, and wouldn't go out and buy just anything on that basis.

Since I have to work a lot of evening shifts, I normally do not get to see much television. Here and there have caught two to three episodes of a series which really intrigued me, and was disappointed not to know how the rest of it developed. So if the interest is great enough, I save up my Euro-cents, and buy one to catch up, occasionally, like maybe twice a year. And yes, watching several episodes back to back without commercial breaks can be a very rewarding experience. And if I calculate the expense of seeing several movies equal to the running time of an entire season, it is still far less expensive. Plus the added pleasure of hearing it in Englsh. (Some things just do NOT translate, you know?) And the popcorn costs a fraction of what the Cineplexxes are charging nowadays. (Shocking.) So now and again, I get caught up on what people are raving about.

The first season of 'Lost' is a case in point. 'Queer as Folk' sort of puzzled me, as it was on late, but only caught the last bits of a couple of episodes getting in from work, and mangled by long commercial breaks with ads for telephone sex lines, (and you would NOT believe how tacky they are), but once I was able to sit down and see the first season within a two-day period, I was fascinated and still wonder how it ever got on the air. Am still waiting to get the last season in a version which will play on our system, and see how it ends.

But for me, fascinating to see how 'Desperate Housewives' has developed over three seasons. In the last, it became much darker, and two of the episodes were very uncomfortable-making. Terrific ensemble acting, and plotting.

Which brings us to the perfidious marketing part. When season two of 'Housewives' and 'Lost' came out on the market, some ass got the bright idea of splitting the season into two parts. So you had to buy both to see the entire season, and ended up paying about 7 Euros more than what the full season in one box had cost up until that time. A rip-off, in other words.

This year they ratcheted up a notch. Season Three of both series, (and so far, I notice that only Touchstone seems to be doing this), the full season is being marketed in two boxes as last year, BUT. The first half came onto the market by itself, and the second half a full six weeks later. (Worse, the first half of Lost 3 came out two weeks ago, and the second half is only available in March.) So what did this mean for the viewer? The first half of season three of 'Housewives' ends with Marcia Cross waiting for her latest husband to come home, gun in one hand and a handfull of teeth which are purportedly those of his dead mistress in the other. And then the fopped consumer had to wait for five weeks to find out what happened next.

(Ok, ok, I have to admit I have this 'thing' for Marcia Cross. She was the only reason to watch the odious 'Melrose Place', and a wonder of an actress.)

In ordering the second half, checked out the customer ratings on Amazon Germany, and they were all incensed about this strategy. Many of them were calling for a complete boycott of the two-box set, recommending that people order the series from Amazon US, where they are still selling seasons in a one-box full set. Even a bit more expensive, and long wait due to shipping, they maintained, but they just did not want to support this marketing strategy.

Am not sure which route I want to go on this. Either wait till both are available and buy them in one fell swoop, or join the other pissed off people, and order Stateside. In the long run, the latter would still be more in the line of 'instant gratification'. Don't know.

And oh yes, gotta keep up my movie rating here. So to Touchstone and the Disney folks, just FUCK YOU for being customer-hostile. And greedy. Obviously the first try didn't work out so well because people don't have the money to buy both at one fell swoop. So instead of doing the right thing, you fucked it up even more.

Whatever, power-cycling does have many advantages over a week-to-week viewing experience.

Calm before the storm....

This is how things look on the way to work at five thirty a.m. Inviting, huh?

Someone was asking me about Sweeney Todd, but it hasn't opened here yet, so am refraining from commenting on the bits I watched on You Tube.

Ran into a clip from the original London production here today, however, so maybe you want to see how it originally looked.

John Amato of Crooks and Liars came up with an interesting concept yesterday, here. I agree with the concept, and will have more to say about it tomorrow.

Uh. Mah. Gawd.

Cold here. Did i mention it is cold here at the moment? The sort where you start yelling, I didn't come four thousand miles for this?

Well, it is. And my radiators are doing luke-warm. I need a key to get the air out of them, and so it is cold. And Blogger is only showing me hmtl stuff, so I do not know what I am doing.

Sitting here with a duvet around me. (a duvet is sort of like an incubation blanket.)

Before my fingers go numb, yes, that cold, wanted to say.... go over to America Blog and check out what A.J.Rossmüller has to say about the Bhutto assassination. I fucking freaked when I learned there is NO ONE in the DOD who knows anything about Pakistan any more. No one...

Ummm.... in case you haven't heard, they have nukes! Oh, you have? Must feel comfortable, being so FAR away. Uh-huh. You can NEVER be too far away from that shit. Remember Tschernobyl? I do. One of the worst days in my life when that shit hit here. And it will never be over.

So, my question is... HOW the fuck do you stop this shit?

How do you get things back to what they were, and you have people doing work who KNOW what they are talking about? This stuff makes me speechless.

For those of you who have been here... The photos are what replaced the flour mill up the street. Not fully finished. They call it the 'Rondeau' A complex of appartments and shops on the ground floor. In back? Just your usual housing project...

bleahhh.....

I ated me an ostrich steak for only five Euros...

tuns out it is kinda creepy meat, and THAT is what you get for being curious, hey.

It was a left-over at the supermarket from the horridays.

And what did I get? Beef liver. It has that taste, underneath. If I had known that, I would have gotten something else, but am a curious peroson.

Now I know.

So here is what you do with venison. Because I had that taste on my palate long after the dinner and that means it was especially good.

First you have to start with a 'sofritto'. That, in this case, consists of the root things chopped up fine like carrot, turnip root, celery root, parsley root and so on. And you have to be patient, frying them in a bit of olive oil. It makes the base. I learned this from a gifted chef in Taormina.

Then you braise the meat---un spiced. Both sides. And then, Preciouses, you covers it up, and some delicioussess juices comes out. On low heat. And after about one half hour, you starts to spice it, oh yes. You add a bay leaf--one if big, two if small. A bit of salt, not much. Some pepper, pinch of majoram, oregano, tiny bit of thyme, and let it stew a while in that. Then comes the MASSIVE ATTACK. You press an orange into it, scrape a little of the rind and two cloves and a couple of cardamom pods into it. Add a bit of red wine, and let it simmer.

If it is Bambi's father, they are tough and need the long cooking time.
If it is Bambi's mother, the cooking time is less. ninety minutes to two hours does the trick.

Add a little water if the juices go down.

And now you know...

Why am I NOT surprised.....

Now that the awful 'festivites' are over, I thought I might be able to get something done today. Like call the two social service places and see if I can get him out of that fucking wreck of an appartment. Found him crying and depressed, listening to a toy radio the neighbors kids lent him. It is in the form of an elephant. Pink. Gawww.

Yup, the horridays are definitely over, dismal as they were.

I do not understand why he would think everyone would just jump into manic work mode and find him an appartment. We still have a bumpy time ahead of us, 'holiday-wise', and NO ONE in this country works before the second week in January. At least not the ones with the cushy government jobs.

So I was rightly sceptical. That he should be up about it surprised me. He grew up here after all, but some days his mind seems to be in another country. That is one of the things I always liked about him. Optimistic, sure of himself. Romantically egoistic. Whatever. I took the cell phone over to his place, and he called. Substitutes. Everywhere. Couldn't find his file, didn't want to be 'bothered'. Typical.

If they ran a business they way they 'run' this country, they would either get fired in no time flat, or we'd be bankrupt.

So nothing to do but wait some more. Tja....

Dejà vu

Tja, already the 26th, and everyone in full pigged-out mode.... Uh HUH. I didn't even get Christmas cookies, because my dearest colleague was off duty, and otherwise brings me some. Vanilli Kipferln, disastrously delicious with almonds in the dough. Didn't get a single one, nope.

Made up my venison shoulder. I don't know what his neighbours are doing to him over there. But it isn't good. He ate everything. My portion too, but I let him.

So now I am making a pizza for me. Go figure. And just burned it. Fuck.

HE was happy, at least....

(The venison was really good, had to do taste checks, and then lost my appetite.)

But this is about dejà vu....my former boss's youngest son checked into the hotel.

He is the youngest offspring of the woman who owns the hotel. When I first began working, he was seven. And my boss would park him with me in the reception area, and he would just Look at me....

... and is soon going to be thirty eight.

Well, turns out he is a nice person. Turns out there is 'no room at the inn' for him and his girlfriend at home, the latter fact was surprising. So they get to stay at the hotel. And he joked, 'you got to wean yourself away from the family sometime....' He sure did that a long time ago...) And he knew it from memory that when I gave him the key, it was the best room in the house

He is going bald, which he jokes about disparagingly. He has the family eyes from his father, like the rest of his sibs, but the only brown ones I have ever seen where 'like' shines out. He was genuinely disappointed when he learned I would only be there on the last day of his visit.

Only, something happened, and I have to do a shift that wasn't planned, and so I get to see him twice again. Of all my boss' children, M is the only one who has come by now and again, and told me what he achieved, and so I get to know who that kid was, who grew up. The little child who used to take his blankey and go to sleep next to the safe in the office.

Became a nice personable grown-up.

Well hey, what more could you wish for?

And THAT is something very nice indeed.

And this is the first year I ran out of food. Since I burned the pizza into charcoal...

C'est la vie....

Will go to bed hungry. Won't be the first time...

Says it all.....

Scrooge

That's what I feel like when I have to wheel Peter through that park out there behind the potted mini Christmas tree. While most of the Austrian kids had been waiting for yesterday, and the presents, the Turkish and Slav kids hang out over there, and are waiting for SYLVESTER. Otherwise known to us heathens as New Year's Eve. And yes, it's named after some obscure saint. Never bothered to google him. Just that fact was enough. I would like to research Saint Pantalon, one of these days though. There must be a story there.... and I'm not making that up, he's got a church in Venice named after him.

Those children can't wait to set off fireworks and firecrackers and make a hell of a racket. And because they can't wait, they start messing around with that stuff earlier and earlier every year, to the annoyance of the neighbourhood, and the ire of the dog owners out walking their four legged loved ones. Yesterday, I was wheeling him back to the house through there, and some little imp took aim, thought it would be fun to throw one right under his wheelchair, hey.

And I lost it. 'Don't you friggin' DARE! You'll wake up Baby Jeebus, and he'll GET you!' In German, of course, and loud. (No, have no idea where it came from, it just slipped out.) Well, the look on their faces almost had me in hysterics. Until I had three pair of sullen anatolian resentful eyes looking at me. So I moved ahead, and threw back, 'Or I'll get you, and I can run FAST.' They took off. So, yup, am certifiably Scrooge. (I told a couple of you the short version of this yesterday, sorry for the repeat. It just bothered me, somehow.)

Am sure some will wonder if possessing and setting off fireworks is legal here. It is, unfortunately. Unfortunately because every year people get badly hurt misusing them. And is why I find Sylvester itself a nightmare.

I'll be 'bah, humbug'-ing them on my way home that night, for sure.

Today the country shut down... ummm, Christmas...

Silent night? You might as well be in a tomb, if you do not have immediate family here. So that is why I like to work on this day. And it gives my nice colleagues, who have families and in one case, small children, a bit more time they can spend with them.

It is the biggest, and most private holiday for Austrians. The mornings are always stressful, masses of lemmings buying buying buying those last-minute things. Then everything, the public world ends by two pm. Except for us people in sectors like hospitals, fire-departments, police, and... hotels. The restaurant people get off the hook. They close. Hungry people passing through? Are just going to have to do without till tomorrow. My guests are all visiting families who will feed them way too much food, so no problem there....

Groceries. Had to get groceries, lots. Because nothing is going to open till December 27th as for supermarkets and markets. Nothing. (The 26th is the Feast of Stephen, of 'Good King Wenceslaus' fame, and a holiday too.) I detest it. Being a single householder these days, I think I am being frugal and still buy too much, just in panic that I won't have enough for three days. But there always is, however.

By five p.m. the streets are empty, no traffic at all, hardly. People with families will be ushering in the little ones to be astonished by the Christmas tree, ablaze with candles, and so on, as I am writing this. And opening presents, and so on. Then there is a traditional Christmas Eve dinner, usually fish, for some reason. Tomorrow will be visits to the extended family and the usual stuff as is done in the US. The day after, people seem to go to the movies, mostly.....

So this is the day I get left baby-sitting a big house for a few people, they go out, and it is very very quiet. This year it is a bit melancholy as well. One of our regulars has gone missing for the first time in thirty-one years. No word from him. In hospital? Dead? No idea.

And was thinking about St. Stephen's holidays past, which was usually my turn to get a free day, and then I would throw a small, really cool dinner party for a few people, and it was fun. Now, all of those people have passed away as well, and the only one remaining is bed-ridden and not able to leave her house. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, as I've seen about one generation per decade leave the world stage in all that time. So this is the evening when I stop and call them back to life in my memory, and fondly remember them.

Even more miserable-making is knowing that my ex is sitting by candlelight, no electricity in the appartment, not enough wood left to get through the next three days heating if the current cold snap doesn't let up, and is alone. The children next door brought him a tiny tree in a pot and decorated it very nicely, at least. Otherwise, this is probably going to be the most dismal Christmas I have ever experienced, I'm afraid.... The day I'm off, will have to cook something at my appartment, and take it over to his, so he gets one festive meal, at least. Roast venison with red cabbage and mashed potatoes. (Got to the store late, and the meat was on sale at half-price so it wouldn't sit in the supermarket and spoil, therefore it was cheaper than beef.)

And no, am not moaning and groaning up above. Just a tad introspective, but this day always does that....

At least I did get myself that birthmas present, and so glad I did. (The camera.)

For those of you who stumble by here, wish you much happier holidays than mine. And inter-familial peace, and good friends, and health. Those things are more important than anything.

Achtung! Holidays Ahead, black ice!

And my venerable father, who is of a biblical age and normally of a sanguine nature, suddenly got 'testy'. Now, that could be due to the many days of snow that has kept him indoors for days of late. And it might be because of the extendedly long circus of politicians in clown cars trampling all over his state, as the first primary election will take place there next month. Hell, it could be the full moon tomorrow, or a combination of any or all of them.

But yesterday, he said he wished just one thing. 'That the politicians running all over the place shoveling their bull-shit, would do something useful for a change, like shovel some people's snow'. And then he double-dog dared me to 'blog THAT.'

So there ya go, Dad. It's out there now.... Merry Christmas. (gg)

NEVER say 'never....'

But having closely followed events in the US especially these last three years, am baffled. And then again not. I think a lot of people aren't able to see the elephant in the room, and I do not mean the Republican mascot. And last year, there was energy and hope and optimism, and a willingness among the grass-roots to dig in and make a difference, and they thought they did. I remember how energising 1968 was, and what we hoped to acheive. And I thought the past years, 'if only WE had had such tools back then.' We only had ourselves and long talks in the middle of the night and were as creative as we could possibly be.

So I hoped, and things looked bright. I am sometimes an optimist, pessimistic, but hope for the best....

Today, with the cave-in yet again on the side of the Democrats, regarding the FISA bill, isn't it obvious? Do you see the elephant in the room yet? They all got bought, corrupted like I have never seen before, by corportations, and lobbyists.

And as for spying on their own---well, I know some good stories that affected me personally. Like being told everything I did the first time I spent a year studying here when I got back and this ASSHOLE pulled out one of those computer sheets, the old ones with the perforated sides, and told me solemnly what I DID abroad? (Nothing damaging, it was harmless, but meant to intimidate.) And that was under Nixon.

Another involved my very best, most favourite cousin, who can have a sharp wit and an acid remark that just shoots right out of the barrel. Snark city. It was in the Waldheim era, and I was excited about something or other, can not remember what. Something nice, at any rate. And she came out with a remark about HIM, and whaddya know? The phone connection started whirring and clicking and got so weird, we were silent for a moment, and then she said, 'Oh. Guess I shouldn't have said that, huh?' It was just snark. And I said, 'No, I guess you shouldn't have.'

The technology wasn't perfected then. There were no Internets. But it was obvious SOMEONE was listening in and recording and it wasn't Lily Tomlin on Laugh-in as Ernestine. (And THAT dates me, if Nixon didn't...)

There was a LOT more.

I left for a LOT of reasons.

And a good two thirds of them were not personal.

What surprises me is that so many younger people never got to learn their history there. And then they get surprised about surveillence? It is nothing NEW. What is new, is that all these developments have gone world-wide. And you can't tell any more when the telephone starts acting weird. Ten Democrats in the Senate did the right thing today. The rest deserve to be voted out and replaced.

Ten.

Now, there I've gone and done it.

Am disappointed, but not surprised.

See the real elephant in the room now?

And will now officially STFU. And remain pessimistically optimistic. Keep working, even though the outlook is bleak.

end of statement, and getting off the soap-box. Take care...

Update: Gladly it turns out I was being overly pessimistic for the time being. The bill got pulled until January. A YouTube clip on Eschaton by Dodd explains his office alone got over five hundred thousand calls, e-mails and messages within the past few days. (Maybe Reid saw his postition going bye-bye?) Whatever, it gives the opponents of the FISA bill a chance to consolidate more opposition to retroactive amnesty. Keep up the pressure! Good work!!!

This happens in February, usually

Four days ago things looked like this...










One bookstore was pushing this book: World Power Without Scruples.










Sunday came, walked out of the house to see this...










The kids didn't get to ride the stuff in front of the tobacconists...

And everything promptly turned to slush. God, I hate snow....

Now that I have been a grouch for a week...

we can turn to some satire, ok?

I found this on Crooks and Liars. For weeks I got criticised for being cheerful, it being the season, and all. I like Kitsch, and the season, hey. I just found it nice. Had nothing to do with what I believe.

But I found someone tonight who can top anything my friend can offer: a rogue elf who writes nawsty awful letters to children. If you click, keep in mind it is satire. Actually, it reminded me of the more biting things from my childhood. I haven't seen those magazines since the Fifties, but they certainly formed my sense of humour. MAD Magazine. If you read those when you were eight or nine years old in the Fifties, believe me, you end up with an odd sense of humour.

And this guy reminds me so much of that.

Ok, so NOW I am about to hinder world peace... Who would have thought-....shit

Some days you shouldn't get out of bed, you know? Not feeling well, caught cold taking the setting the river on fire for world peace pictures, and feel dizzy, literally....

So was doing the wash... And went out to the internets to find news... Dismal. As usual. Depressing. As usual. I didn't expect more, to tell the truth...

And there was this item on a gay page, just news mostly, but will not link because it doesn't concern breeders. And there it was. The Pope is going to tell the world that us gay and lesbian people are gonna hinder 'world peace', by getting married or having civil unions. Uh-HUH!

Because, PRECIOUSSES, and this puts me into Gollum mode, because....people will think of what constiutes a family differently. Riiiiight...

So. Where is the connex? It makes no sense to me. Last time I LOOKED I still had an IQ of 117 on a good day... Why should looking at what constitutes a family 'differently' hinder world peace, huh? Well just FUCK that SHIT.


Just between us and the doorstop.... I have lived nearly six decades, and I got USED to being blamed for all the evil in the world, just for being 'different'. I spent over twenty years loving a man. A civil union, or a 'marriage' never occurred to me nor was something that I would have wished for. I wanted equal RIGHTS. I was very lucky, most times. Even after he became ill. They always let me in. Bet you can't imagine how that feels, can you. It was far worse with the bank stuff. Some people think they are not predjudiced, but it leaks out, and is disgusting.


But that isn't what this is about. Families. Well, after nearly six decades, I know about them....

Oh yes, I do, Preciousses.

Families. I left home fairly young. I found family in the wonderful people who took me in, guided me, were THERE for me. Friends who were so kind, I was left breathless. As in, 'who could like ME', you know? Unfortunately, most of them died in the Eighties and Nineties. So I had a 'family'..... and then I lost them. One by one, the most beautiful people I could ever have wished for as friends. They were amazing, talented, and I got left behind. But they were my family, and I loved them from the bottom of my heart. And now this Wanker wants to come along and tell me what 'family' is about, and I'm a threat to world peace? Oh, just give ME a break, hey.


And sooner or later... you are on your own. So what was so damned Un-catholic about that? And how CAN THAT ANNTICHRIST DARE tell me that I am shit, and threaten world peace? Just how fucking DARE he, that Nazi- child-thing, dried up prune of an ASSHOLE who is supposed to be SO eductated, tell ME that I am gonna threaten World Peace because of how I LIVE?. He doesn't know shit. But he has a very pretty very young assitant that all Italy has gone ga-ga over. Right.

How DARE you. And I will Not give you another thought, Mister.

If you were truely, TRUELY Christian, you would leave us the fuck alone.
We never HARMED anyone. It DISGUSTS me.

oh MY. Seems I missed the pah-tay...

Last month I did get an invitation. And I thought, 'What is THIS lame shit?' Because it was from the union, you see. And yes, I joined a union thirty years ago when I first got here. Because I thought, you never know if they might prove to be helpful some day. My family has some history with unions. My father got black-balled from most of the factories in my home town because he was seen talking to a union organiser when I was young. So I joined one for my branch of industry, and saw it as a bit of added insurance.

Right. Over the years, any time I ran into the people involved, well lets just say they were your proverbial fat cats. Bloated on power, literally, self-important bloviating people who were sort of off-putting. About eighteen months ago, it turned out they had mis-managed all the money we paid in dues in a seamy bank speculation deal in the US, which nearly bankrupted the bank I do business with here, and they used up all of our considerable (like a billion Euros) strike funds
to extricate themselves from the mess they made. Among other things. (update: I since learned they refilled the strike funds. Uh-HUH. And this inquiring mind wants to know where the hell they got THAT from, oh yes..... You just don't pull one billion Euros out of your nose, you know. It stinks.)

Well, it turns out that in thirty years, they never did one single thing to make conditions better for the branch of industry I work in. Not one. We are the worst-paid of any in the entire country. (It varies from state to state, but none of them are good.)

Two years ago, I had a huge run-in with the local state police on this issue. The guy was impudent, what we call a paragraph rider, aka stickler for the rules, and thought we were some sort of porter without education. And he thought we were getting paid a fortune to just stand around and greet people. He thought. Until one night, he got kinda sorta freaked out when he was in and we were busy, and he heard me going on in four languages fluently, and dealing with a lot of difficult stuff. But there was still this money thing, so I showed him what we earn according to what the union worked out with greedy hotel owners. He was so shocked, he backed down, and has been friendly ever since. There are two categories of contracts, one for the Angestellten, which I don't know how to translate other than they are 'privileged', and 'workers'. I belong in the latter category. How very lovely.

So I have this ambivalent to hostile attitude toward my union people, because they never fixed this. And cave in when it comes to getting us a survival minimum wage. Why does this remind me of the current crop of Democrats in the US? Rhetorical question btw....

When the misused funds and financial scandal came up, I nearly walked. Others I know have. I had a lot on my plate, so I left it, for the time being. And then I got this invitation to a party, you see. For a dinner at a restaurant at the airport. To get 'honoured'. Uh-huh. Well, I couldn't have thought of anything more BORING, or OLDIE than having been so stupid as to believe it meant anything at all. So I ignored the invite. And forgot about it.

Today I got this huge thing in my post box. From the union. With this letter saying how much they regret my not having attended their party. Right. And this elegant folder with a citation in it, thanking me for 25 years of belonging to the union. It is thirty, not twenty-five. And did they use my money for that shit? A letter would have sufficed.

That so sucked, I can't find the words.

Otherwise, I am going to be really fucking angry. So I am letting it out here before my blood pressure goes over 200 again. And that is not good.

My Grandmother once told me about taking my father and his sister to a union strike march in Massachusetts when they were toddlers. Police on horseback came in and tried to trample them, the women and children. They were ruthless then, they are ruthless now.

Far more ruthless.

But the people in the unions? THEY used to be courageous. Heros. Today? Fat-cats. Complacent, and they go hand in hand with corporations. So getting a citation from them? Is a fucking slap in the face. And my doctors say my high blood pressure is just from smoking. Hokay... Fucking blind.

just when you are on vac and relaxing....

Right, how to put this? I had a stressful morning, you see. Taking someone to yet another social services place. In a wheelchair. Him, not me. So I got back home and made tea, and was looking at news, when all of a sudden, everything stalled, and no servers to be found.

I am so anti-tech, I sometimes do not know how I ever get anything to work. It's like a leap of faith or something. And Lazarus, my computer who keeps dying and mysteriously coming back to life, not that I have anything to do with it... it's God, whoever SHE is.... Lazarus is a tricky sob at the best of times. The other day he ATE my Excel programme and it is no longer there, for instance.

But I did think to look at my modem. There are supposed to be five lights on. Don't ask me what they are for, couldn't say. But five. There were only four. And I thought, 'OH, just turn it off, wait a minute or so, turn it back on, and it will re-initialise, and all will be well.' It sadly blipped and gave an inaudible sigh.... and all I got were two lights. Tried again? Three.

So am one of those people who, when things go wrong, automatically think it must be my fault. I hit a button, or something. I have SDL, so of course the phone was dead, couldn't call out and yell for help. And of course I checked the connections to see if any were loose. That happens. Nothing. Two lights. Three. No telephone signal.

All that took a full hour, and that is when I yelled, 'my modem is fucking DEAD!' (other expletives deleted....)

My blood pressure was off the charts for high by then, so I decided to play some agressive cribbage and see if I could raise my pegging point average. Considering going over to one of the Turkish call centers later and picking up my e-mail. For EUR 1.60 an hour.

And an hour later? All the lights were back on, telephone connection intact... My server must have done some really intensive work and shut down for over two hours, and without notice beforehand----in the middle of a work day. How did Gollum put it? 'We hates them, Precious, we hates them FOREVER!'

And I thought it was my fault....

Tja. And one more thing.... I notice I am getting some traffic here, when I thought I was just bloviating into the void. There are two things I avoid discussing. My work-place because I KNOW that someone is accessing it from there. And US politics, because it isn't fair. I got out when the going was good, and it would not be fair to criticise now. Even though I have some very strong opinions about it turning into the very opposite of every value I was taught as a child and young person. (Yes, I was young---once.) You can click on the links in my blog roll. They express my thoughts far more eloquently than I can, and are there, on the spot, so to speak. I haven't been there in seventeen years. And have no wish to. So let's leave it at that.

They did it with scuba divers

This event was scheduled for six p.m. It is someting groups of divers do 'for fun' in Advent, I learned. And they gave everyone candles for peace. It rained like crazy. I figured it would. When the morning sky in the post below looks like that, it is always a harbinger for bad weather later in the day. It was cold and all I saw when I got there were some candles on the rocks along the riverside, and an Advent wreath out in the rapids, but the wind and rain soon blew the candles out














Looked a liittle lonely out there, and I thought, someone is pulling our collective leg here. Then I learned that the actual event would be at seven pm, because all the scuba divers were at Mass nearby. (It's a church-sponsored thing, you see...)










So I tried to kill some time and finally get a half-way decent photo of the Island in the Mur at night from the riverbank.










Once the divers finally got ready, they started by floating little candles for peace out into the river.










And just when I was sort of disappointed, and wet despite the umbrella, the whole group went into the water, and all of a sudden, things took on a different look.










And that is how they set the river on fire. Magnesium flares.










And then there were more and more.










So it was sort of cool-looking after all. Then I went home and made a very strong pot of hot tea.

Tomorrow... they are going to set the river on fire...

to demonstrate for world peace. At least that is what they hung on a banner from one of the bridges downtown.... 'die Mur in Flammen', hey. The Mur is the name of the river, and Flammen means flames, ok?



Is it just me, or is there something totally not right with that concept? Am I missing something here? Because I do NOT get the connection, you know? Anyone out there who knows something about }}}conceptual art{{{ and can come up with a conceivable explanation? Because I am just baffled, hey. Will go downtown tomorrow and see what the hell THAT is really about.... And take pictures.

Today is another sort-of holiday, and half the country shut down. The 'Immaculate Conception', uh-huh. Annti is gonna get a shot-gun and hurt me if she discovers I even WROTE that. My short-lived Christmas cheer got on her nerves, and she asked me if we were 'through with the Christ stuff now?' And I promised, 'yes we is through, Precious.' I'm only mentioning it, because again, I do NOT understand, you know? It's just a fact, and this one really makes me feel stupid.

Downtown, the stores that are open, well, it looks like Black Friday in the US. So I stayed home
and got the last thing I had to buy this month per Internet. I love Amazon. No one pushes or shoves you, and you can take your time and look through everything.

Oh well, back under the bed. Just when you think the world is rational, or something, you get all this weird stuff, you know?

The day of the Krampus... and just when you think traditions are fixed entities

They go and change them on you, for pity's sake. The big Krampus meeting was last Sunday.
So I went into town at twilight anyway, looking for a Krampus. The sign says 'surface damage' in case you wonder.....












They have an Advent village, a Christkindlmarkt in front of City Hall on the main square.
What I do NOT understand is this display over one of them. Did Disney bribe them or something? And the damned things move, as well, hey.










But there was the usual Kitsch, which was reassuring....




























Pretty, shiny, aren't they?










I have this sneakret desire to ride that carousel, just once. But let's face it, at fifty-eight, that would really be anything but seemly....



















This is a créche in sculptured ice. Bill O would be so proud, hey. No war on Christmas here, hey... They have a second one in the freezer somewhere that they will trot out when this one melts. The weather is too mild.










It got darker and darker, no Krampusses in sight. I felt like the kid who just learned there is no Santy-Clause. So I did my only one time a year mulled wine at a stand, after attempting to shop, and I NEVER shop, hey. I bought a suit jacket for work for only 27 Euros. Had to be a product of slave labour. I shouldn't have done that, it only encourages the damned manufacturers.










Whatever, at the stand I saw my first Krampus. This one is 'Sophie'. (stress on the second syllable, please.) The guy next to me was way into his cups, had bought it for his girlfriend, and named it after her, as she is wild, or something. I haven't laughed so much in a very long time, hey. And THEN! A real Krampus appeared! Oh, they love being photographed. (Actually, I think you have to be a bit twisted to go in for this stuff, but they put a lot of loving care into these costumes....)










Isn't he gorgeous?











This guy seemed to think he didn't need a mask. Eeew. It's supposed to be Krampus, not Night of the Living Dead, you know? He just planted himself in front of me, and posed. I was too skeered NOT to take his picture. I don't know what he would have done if I hadn't. And no, it wasn't the mulled wine. He was scary.











This one could make little kids have nightmares and wet the bed...










I mean, really. Isn't he wonderful?










This one sort of looks retarded, somehow. Not so scary.










These do look better if you open them in a new tab.














And THIS is my guy, hey. Best Krampus I've seen in years. He took it off later? Just an ordinary, white-bread Austrian. Tja.











pretty lights. They still only use white ones, not garish coloured ones. Tja. And then I went home.

So tell me, were you good this year? Because if NOT

the Krampus is gonna 'getcha' tomorrow. I will have photos, so that you can tremble in pure fear next time December fifth comes around. It is about local traditions, and the Krampus is really bad.

They have these really HUGE devil wooden masks on, and they run through the city, with switches, and hit the BAD children. (Not hard, it is a token thing. And yes, I got hit by one..... once.) I have this video footage of a kid about five years old who thought they were so COOL, he ran out and jumped up and hugged the absolutely ugliest one. Must have been an imp from hell, or he had wonderful parents, hey.

And on the sixth, St. Nicholas comes, and gives presents to the GOOD children. I have seen this with my own eyes, often, and before I had the punch. Yes.

They do not do Santa Claus here. Well ok, the retailers do nowadays, heinous. It was always: 'the Christ Child left those for you under the tree.' And on Christmas Eve, the young children get distracted by a relative who takes them out to the movies, or a walk, they come back, the door opens, and there is this wonderful tree with real candles burning, and presents beneath. That is so magical....

My mother always went off the charts for concern, after I sent her a photo of my first tree with all the candles burning. Being a half-breed, I comprimised. First we lit the candles. For like about fifteen minutes. And then we turned on the lights. White ones. It was always a problem with design. But I made it work.

So happy Advent. And if you really really want a chuckle, go over to YouTube and put David Sedaris in your google window. And call up 'Six to Eight Black Men' It is a reading in three parts, and hilarious about Christmas in the Netherlands. The title is a little misleading. Cullture clash, hey. I really wish they would re-post his piece about being an elf in Macy's... Really funny. link here

Take care, gonna go hunt the Krampusses tomorrow. Skeeery.

Update. I played this for my ex, shut in that wreck of an apartment. Via computer to telephone. And he told me that Saint Nick, in his childhood days when the Nazis were in power, were frightening to him. St. Nicholas hit children, and they were afraid of them both So David Sedaris wasn't being just 'funny'. It is factually based. I am not sure why everyone gets it wrong.

How sad.

JUST when I thought I'd spotted the door

leading to the parallel universe where time is different and you don't age so quickly.....it moved out of sight, the clocks rang midnight, and I crossed the threshhold into the realm of....

}}}}}Oldiehood{{{{{{

(Tm. I get twenty-five cents every time you use it, and bank details available on request.)

Eeewwww.... Fifty-eight, hey. Why that is more than half a century... (/disingenuousness) It hasn't been quite fifty minutes, yet, but fully expect corporeal disintegration to begin and continue over the next twenty-three hours, for sure. (/snark)

Seriously, the only birthday that ever bothered me was turning thirty. Since then? Just another day... Someone today seriously thought I was about to turn fifty-one, so I guess I'm holding up ok on the outside, at least. (gg) I got up to some mischief the past couple of days. If it works as I plan, I might give three people a little moment of happiness. That would be the best present I could give myself. If it works. Will find out in a week or so....

So will soon turn in, and then make myself some chicken and a salad, go to work, and the entrance into the new world will have been accomplished. Or I turn into a pile of sawdust this time tomorrow. Who knows, hey? That is how life is, after all. Full of surprises, although most of them tend to be of the not-so-nice-didn't-see-it-coming variety. So what can you do, you know?

Have a few things planned for the coming week here, so stay tuned. Between work and having to see doctors, (which is what we Oldies do, you know, just to read the old magazines for free in the waiting room, and test our memories to see if we remember what happened eight weeks ago), haven't had much time. And please do click on the Trex link in the blogroll. He is the KING of snark, and the only 40 foot therapod I would EVER approach. (Don't I wish....)

Shorter: AP reporting today on fires

in Malibu ...ummmm, didn't they used to do re-runs only in the summer-time?

Is this due to the writer's strike???

Tja, questions....

DVD review. High School Musical

I just do not know, hey.

I wanted something mindless to cheer me up, so of course you turn to Disney.....

Some people here don't think too highly of their products. One Easter, I had this dysfunctional family living across from me, and the lady, a religion teacher, had her kids over for the weekend.

I brought over the two Disney videos I had to distract them, since they were hyperactive. (So the 'grown-up' could talk, you know...) One of them was Bambi. The other was Fantasia, and didn't we love that, huh? As an aside, my former boss used to go off the charts for what an experience that was when it first came out. He was an usher. People were so unused to color and stereophonic sound, they had to have nurses on hand because it made some people ill.

That is not a joke, that is how he remembered it from 1939. Whatever, the mother went off the charts for angry about that one. Putting pictures into children's heads, regarding classical music. I ALWAYS saw pictures in my head when I heard classical music. My greatest amibition as a child was to make a cartoon to something by Tschaikowsky. We didn't have computers, or I would have.... We had such an argument about that.....

I didn't get it then, I do not get it now. They were brilliant. Needless to say, I gave the kids both of them as an Easter present, subversive as I am.... They were thrilled.

As mentioned below, I have this wonderful colleague. We both like musicals, so one of my main pleasures is sharing some of the things I have in my collection. She keeps telling me that one of her two daughter's major things is watching 'High School Musical', and did I want to borrow it. Somewhat reticent. And seemingly, this film caught or touched something in young people here, because they get on the cover of every youth magazine. Well, have been off on sick leave for two weeks and going up the walls for feeling useless, and whaddaya know, it was on sale at the crummy shop next to the tobacconists.' So I went and bought it just so I don't have to sit home and pity myself.

I needed something 'happy'. I can't remember when I last bought something from the Disney company.

It is very slick. Dance numbers very nice. But there is a HELL of a lot that bothers me about it. Sports are more important than art, or science. At first, at least. And at the end, it does not really get resolved. Winning the ball game is better than being an artist. Win the ball game and then you can do your 'art'. How condescending. That so sucks, I can't find the words. On the surface, it LOOKS like they are trying to support indiviuality, but underneath? You conform, or you don't get anywhere.

When the hell did Disney get so into brainwashing? And it is so subtle.

My high school experience was much different. I got so tortured, it was a nightmare... I was the geek.

Because I was 'different'.

Now my young neighbors think I am 'cool' Go figure.

Just the IDEA that they would think that they could get away with this shit is awsome. 'You just do your sports and win, and then you can be a fucking faggot artist, for all I care.' Well isn't that some kind of 'acceptance', hey.

It left me with an upset stomach. Pretty kids, but the message is the pits.

Just when you think you did EVERYTHING to make things RIGHT

The person fucks it up and FUCKS YOU OVER.

Isn't that a hoot?

Isn't that just a laugh-riot.

Isn't that just pitiful.

And after thirty years, you get to decide, hey. Sorry, still ill and do not know what is really going on. But....

I thought I could go back to work this week, still wonky, but hey, two day shifts and then do two days off, rest, then five evening shifts. Since I consider myself indestructible, I went in Monday, and it started all right. I got there an hour early to upload all those photos, on my time, not work time, because my pc won't do it. Then an hour later, I started feeling odd. Dizzy. I never feel dizzy. I thought I was going to fall off the chair. My lovely colleague came in and literally rescued me. (I have some of the nicest colleagues in the WORLD.)

So I saw my doctor. My blood pressure was off the charts for high. It has always tended to be low.

(There IS a point to this by the way....)

I went home, and he told me to lie down for a while. Just when I did, whaddaya know, the fucking phone rings.

My Ex, the one supposedly in assisted living? Was at the old house, and he lost the key for the bottom lock. There was some sort of confrontation, and he either got kicked out, which is my assumption, or went into overdrive. So he gets back into the old place, which has been cannibalised, more or less, no electricity, no heat, and it is COLD here, nothing edible since July, and says he is so glad to have his peace and quiet. He didn't pay his phone bills, although I TOLD him to turn it off, and so he can get calls, but not call out. A nightmare.

And they moved all the old stuff into his house, and he is the epitome of a caricature of Miss Havisham. (The crazy lady in Great Expectations who causes the tragedy....)

The vultures in the place who had already taken almost everything from him began gathering. The 'concern' was so GREAT, I got the dry heaves, literally. TROLLS. Now concern trolls and I'm the bad guy who put him into a very horrible place. Hokay....

And with that, I LEFT, Preciousses. I'm on sick leave, and not supposed to be out of the house. I just unlocked the door, gave him one THOUSAND pieces of my more or less incoherent mind, and left. This past year, I worked my ASS off to find a solution, it wasn't perfect, but it was a starting point. And I was the one who was THERE every day of hospital as best I could.... Well isn't that a kick in the PANTS, hey, as Harvey Fierstein said.

I have NOT been back. His problem. Oh, I called, of course. Just to make sure he hadn't fallen down in the WC again. He's happy....

Just when I feel at my weakest point, the jackals gather. It wasn't pretty.

So for all the people who told me he just used me all these years, yup, probably right these past several years. So get out the balloons and the things you make those jeering noises with, and celebrate, because I have HAD it.

But before you get all euphorious and everything, think of this. Did you ever consider me so stupid? Because when you criticise, it always comes down to: I was STUPID. There have been many reasons I made the decisions I made, but I have never been blind, nor stupid. There WAS a time, long ago, when he touched something deep within me, and made me feel wonderful, and desirable and even attractive, and taught me so much. Otherwise, I would have dissed him as I did Hellmut. (See 'Scraping the Barrel' in the Graz section. And there was a lot more to THAT than I will ever tell....) As far as my Ex goes, those feelings are long gone, but gratefulness..... also only stretches so far. So I tried it with Christian feeling. He was so ill, and I OWED him so much. I've paid him back.... I thought it my Christian DUTY... it's a stupid Catholic thing....

Thirty years is a very long time, ok? You go through good times and bad times. But THIS time, am at the end of my wisdom, and throw in the towel, hey.

And then he just threw it in my face.

Which is not helping my blood pressure much..... Tja..

and I thought they only did re-runs in the summer.... right

Just when the driver thought it was safe

to get out of the car and save the rabbit who seemed glued to the tarmac and blinded by the headlights for over fourteen months, he opened the door, and the pretty cuddly bunny hopped away on his own and disappeared after sadly looking back just once.

See? I can be terse, sometimes. A whole tragedy in one sentence.

It doesn't need further explanation.

So yes, no birfday present this year, and the chances are huge that all I get is coal in my stocking. Yup.

Update: Goodness, after seeing it up there, I just realised, I could enter that in the Bullwer-Lytton fiction contest. I only did that once, and got a citation in my name, with the line: 'Whose pen is less mighty than the sword'. And I worked HARD to get that. I was so proud.... The contest involves writing the worst opening sentence imagineable for a novel. This one just slipped out. Go figure.

Signs of the times...

Note: these photos and the ones below are far nicer if you click on one and open it in a new tab or window. The condensation hampers them somehow. Tja. Blogger.... Live and learn.

Once some years ago, Jesus asked me to show him the red light district.











Told him this awning wasn't a one-time manufacturing mistake, there used to be three in town.










He thought this one looked a little seedy....











although the main entrance looks respectable enough.










He thought this one was a bit too garish.










And this one too french.










He nearly chose this one, but I know the woman at the bar sits there and knits all the time, just like Madame Defarge. Creepy.










He liked the phallic graphics on this one










And that is where I left him, turns out. Asked him next day if he had a nice evening, and Jesus said he certainly did. 'I visited with a lady.' Jesus was of Mexican descent, from Austin Texas, and a body-builder. His friends called him Jess. Jesus was a gentleman.










So we have disaffected youth around here, but they always seem to interchange 'save' with 'safe', and 'live' with 'life'.











Although they get the expletives correct, at least....










as we see here.....










but sometimes they get weirdly cryptic. I still am not sure if I read it correctly.











Annti would love this place. They make tattoos into a 'life-style'.











Of course there are weird events posted on kiosks. I'm not so certain I want to know what a kiddy contest is, though.....











There is a mountain and adventure movie festival, though.











And I thought he was dead....













And when these oldies play Graz, you know their career peaked a long while ago.











But having these guys guest at the opera is just beyond necrophilia. And the NEXT big thing will probably be having the mummified Ronald Reagan displayed, with a showing of Bedtime for Bonz0, or the Western series.... Just save me.... or shoot me....

Signs of the times, all right.