Just when you think you digested disturbing things...

It turns out you did NOT.

I lend my dvds to a very nice lady, and if it is good, she shows her daughters, age 13 and 16. And the oldest is at the age where she can see a horror film if her Mom says it is all right... And she has been PUSHING her to lend me her films. So I got to see Final Destination Three today.

It was a hell of a lot of fun, and I got a kick out of it.

But she also wanted me to see 'Munich', by Steven Spielberg. Because her Mom knew that I was there in '72.

I couldn't get past the first fifteen minutes. And then I started crying and had to turn it off.

I never usually talk about this, but those weeks before the attack? Those poor people were the HIT of the village. They intermingled, were open to the world, and they got attacked and killed.

I had to stand on a balcony in the dark six floors up and passively watch them herded like cattle into helicopters who took off in front of my face without being able to do ANYTHING about it.

The rest of the night I washed grapes and listened to a lousy transistor radio bringing us the gun-fire- and explosions in Fürstenfeldbrück at the airport.

Oh yeah. And innocent people DIED.

So no, I have never EVER gotten over that. Seemingly. Because I knew them and spoke with them and they were decent.

So what did REVENGE have to do with it? I know Spielberg meant well, but, the first fifteen minutes were so hurtful for me personally, I just could not watch any more...

Some one of these days I am going to have to confront that trauma. But it is not now. And that is when I found out that the media are clueless pigs.

Update: 22nd April. I returned the videos today with a little gift for Tanya, who lent them to me. And finished watching 'Munich' at Peter's yesterday, because I just could not watch it alone. I spent the first fifteen minutes in the kitchen, because I just couldn't take it. It still upsets me to the max. The rest was surprising, to say the least. I'd never heard that the CIA worked with the PLO to enable the revenge assasinations, and that so many other groups were involved in that. It was more than frightening

There were some flashbacks to what happened in those thirty hours in that house, and I had to leave the room. I wasn't even thirty meters away, when that guy in the ski mask came out on the balcony with a machine gun. There was so much commotion going on, it was only after that I got a case of the creeps. The so-called journalists were getting on this theory that the radical left students had let them in. If there had been anything like a stake or something, I would have caused serious damage to someone, they were such assholes. Crass, as we say...

Turned out that some drunk American athletes helped the guys over the fence. Swell.

It was supposed to be open Games.. To get away from the debacle of the 1936 image of the Games in Berlin. You could get in and out without a real pass check on your id card. And the MSM USA wasn't helpful. Every article in Time magazine began with, 'Munich, which is only 18 miles away from Dachau...' My friend Günther, virtually FORCED me to to see Dachau. I'd read enough, I didn't want to go. The museum is well concepted, but back then, the explanations were only in German. And the tourists only spoke English. I fled at the middle of it. And toured the grounds. Günther came after me. That was before the attacks, and it upset me terribly.

A thunderstorm came up, and we had to take shelter in the crematorium. It was so small for the volume of people who were cremated there.... If you are young and imprssionable, those aren't the things you want to carry with you as emotional baggage.

The storm passed, the tourists came out, and they posed before the horrible sculpture of skeletal figures, and said, 'smiiiile!' Stupid, stupid people.

I wanted to THROW UP!

(It always hits me in the stomach...) I will NEVER forget that. Never. You weren'there if you hadn't visited Dachau. Well, Thank you TIME Magazine..,.. Assholes...

One thing Spielberg got definitely WRONG. The hostages weren't just tied at the wrist and given their seats in the helicopters... I was THERE. They came up in two busses, and their hands were tied... BUT... they were also tied up in groups, jsut like cattle. Circular, you know? In a group of four or five.

It rocked my world, and it hasn't stopped.

There must have been SOMETHING I coud have done. And it haunts me to this day.

Am just speecless....