Tap tap tap.......waiting...

I am SO impatient, hey. One of my worst attributes. Waiting for the phone to ring. Like a teenager who thinks he blew his first date. Eewwww.

My first date was wonderful. (I am trying to distract myself, here....) With a wonderful woman. I don't know why, but I love people with auburn hair. She was gorgeous. Still is, as a matter of fact... I saved my money, and we bussed down to Bawston on our first date. And wound up in a wonderful fish restaurant, where all the booths had aquariums on the side. It was called 'Dini's', but the neon was so fucked up we thought it said 'Dinks'. Which made us laugh. The food was delicious, and I was drowning in her green eyes. They were sooo green...

We went to a show after, which was headed for Broadway. It was very good.

The whole thing never worked out, because I knew 'something' was missing. She broke it off, but we remained friends for a long while. I spent a whole day with her when I visited, long ago, and confused everyone, but it was just friendship. Even her mother called me, and said she would have preferred she had married me rather than her husband, who is a decent man... That freaked me. I would have made her so unhappy.... oh no, wouldn't go there.

At the time, I was eighteen, and wouldn't admit to myself what I really wanted. It took another six years to get even near that point.

There are SO many turning points in life... that was one. Last I heard, I had sent her a green glass egg from Venice. It was the color of her eyes. She blushed in reply. But it was honest.

Moral? you can fall in love with someone, but it won't necessarily be a good choice for either party....

How did I GET on this topic? Oh yeah, waiting for news.... Lots of decades gone down the tubes since my first date. At least I wanted it to be spectacular.... We had some others, but that first one was off the charts for it.

It's teh gay, I guess. Or just me... wishing for things to be perfect when you know that they aren't.

Still no call. Am retiring and try to sleep without nightmares.