In memory of the incredible Long Islander Steve Barton, who was loved here.....
Am kicking myself. It is one of those grey days where it never really gets light, so I left my camera at home. ÄÄÄÄÄ.... wrong. Got to the tram station at the hospital to go home, and there was this young guy with the BEST Halloween costume I have EVAH seen. He looked like a Hentai action figure, just so off the charts for original I figure he'd been working on that for months. So I was cursing for not having taken the camera. Inwardly, of course.
Got off at Jakomini to change to the bus, and whaddaya know there were five vampires out there in costume, wearing black capes with blood red satin lining, handing out leaflets.... because.... they are reviving 'Tanz der Vampire' in Vienna, and they were from the cast, doing promotional work. Fantastic make-up. I saw it twice back in the day, once with Peter, and once with my cousins.
It's based on the 68 film 'The Fearless Vampire Killers' by Roman Polanski, which no one I know there seems to have seen, but it is a VERY popular cult film here. The musical was composed by Jim Steinman, Polanski directed, the sets were just amazing, and the song 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' played a central role in the score. And despite all the bombastic sets, the most effective 'effect' to my mind was a chorus singing the beginning of that---- quietly, spookily, 'Turn around....' And when they got to 'Turn around, bright eyes', the voices were all around you, to the side, behind you, and the 'vampires' were in the audience, and when you turned around, there they were. They were so silent coming in, you didn't notice. It was nice and creepy. Which proves that it doesn't have to be bombastic to be effective.
Tanz der Vampire has been a long running hit here and throughout most of Europe. It opened on Broadway a couple of years ago, and thanks to that douchebag Michael Crawford, he ruined it completely, and I think it ran ten regular performances, and folded. Probably the most expensive and most embarassing flops in recent Broadway history.
Soooo.... since it is Halloween... here is the ballroom scene, 'Total Eclipse'. Austrian star Thomas Borchert plays Krolock, and he is good, but Steve Barton was definitive. He created that role. I believed this was the Stuttgart production, but no, they brought the whole damned set from there onto a poplular German TV show. It was similar to the original Vienna one, but... ok... maybe the audio isn't the best here, but you'll get the idea. Have fun, play safe if you go out tonight.
Happy Hallov veeeen!
Refreshing 'protest' signs....
Check them out at TPM here. And sixty more here. Creative, funny, and yes, will say it again, refreshing.
Interesting right-click for full screen on YouTube
Colbert's amazing entrance:
Jon's closing statement, being serious... the sound is a bit low, but audible enough. And the ass-hat reporters couldn't figure it OUT???
I KNEW it....
Where do you wanna go, hey?
Sylt? Rimini?
Today's fun with watching Peter lose it..... where do you wanna go?
'Let's go to Westerland tomorrow.'
'Westerland? Where in the world is that?'
'You know, Sylt, on the Nordsee. It only takes four hours....'
'Ummmm Peter, it takes 12 to 14 hours to get to Berlin by train, and it would still be a ways to get to Sylt.....'
'Oh. Well, I guess I can't do that...'
(He fell in love with the North Sea area many years ago... so I GOT it...)
'No, that would be strenuous for you.'
Five minutes later..... 'Well, we could go to Rimini... that's not so far. I need sea air.'
'Well yes, we MIGHT, but.... all your clothes are in Gamlitz, so we would have to go get them, and THAT means you have to get out of here and you won't if you don't take your meds....' (THAT is a huge problem...)
'Well, ok, but tomorrow we go downtown, and I want to buy you some new pants for your birthday.'
'Peter, my birthday is in December. Tomorrow is Halloween, October, you know? And it is Sunday, everything is closed, and Monday is a holiday, and everything is closed.'
'Oh. I should have known that. I keep forgetting. Can't we GO somewhere?'
'Not till you get better, and get back 'home'.... And you aren't taking your meds.... again.'
(They were on his night-table...)
'How do you expect to get OUT of here if you don't take them?'
'They make me bilious.'
Uh-huh.
I coerced him into taking the morning ones, at least. And when I left, went into macho mode.... and marched down to the nurses station with a grumpy 'Grüß Gott! Herr P isn't taking his meds. Why?'
The woman pretended she didn't know. Not an option with me. 'I know that he has been troublesome.... and persuaded him to take at least part of his ration today, what gives?'
'He just WON'T.... and we can't force him.' She said he drives them all to distraction.
I said, 'You tell him he HAS to, or Ren won't visit any more.'
Yeah, brutal.
I hate the daily hospital stuff. Oh boy, do I hate it.
So it was nice to come home and distract myself with something else.
Oh, I got two phone calls... Peter and the nurses, panicked. Did I get home ok? Was I coming to visit tomorrow? 'I told you I would.' 'I forgot...' And then he panics.
There are SOME days, I really wish he wouldn't be half-way cognizant, because I HATE seeing him suddenly realise that something is wrong and be frightened, and that is a terrible thing to say.
But if it has to be, it would be better if he wasn't afraid any more. I hate seeing the panic, and confusion, and the struggling to hold on for the short time I visit.
It upsets me to the max.
If I had money? I'd take him to the Nordsee. But it will never happen.
I try doing what I can.... but nothing will ever bring him back, the friend who was so smart and funny, and has always loved me. He still does, regarding the latter.... but is only afraid nowadays... It is horrible.
Oh....
Someone from Montreal checked out my live-blogging from the Rally. I so suck at that, little practice. Sorry, whomever.... Have little practice. It gets distracting if what you are seeing is so good....
When you have idiots like this who can bloviate...
I guess the rally made sense.
That makes sense. And people sending fake anthrax to Olberman two years ago and O'Reilly making fun of the fact that he went to a hospital to make sure he was ok?
Yeah, sick puppies, and maybe that rally was needed....
Live blogging from the rally via live streaming....
This is fantastic. I just wish they would give an aerial view right now... It looks like a big turn-out.
Since 12:00 p.m. The Roots are on stage with John Legend. The latter I've run into on my internet meanderings, never heard of the other. Critical dark texts coupled with messages of hope despite the darkness. They are all good.
12:45 Some idjits from a science channel are doing wave things.... like in stadiums, I thought it was lame, but then it got political. Good idea. They started waves from both ends of the crowd which crossed in the middle. It was subtle.
12:57 Jon's on, but begins with the national anthem sung by members of the four military branches.
13:07 Stephen is in a 'fear bunker' and and comes up in a capsule like the chilean miners... He is SO crazy.
13:57 A fake pastor and something good about religious tolerance. GREAT stuff.
Ok, that was the benediction. Now Sam Waterson with the poem. It it is hilarious.
Oh wow, Cat Stevens! Super!
Peace train. And Stephen interrupts him, because he doesn't have a ticket. Oh wow.
They are nuts.
And his group is singing something like wasted, because it is his train. Oh, Ozzie Osbourne. Oh... outrageous.
Jon interrupts, and says he can't ride that train, this is unreal. Now both are duelling, and Jon stops it all. They resolve it with the OJ's singing 'Love Train.'
Now Jon is giving out medals for reasonableness.
Stephen gives medals of fear... to Anderson Cooper's tee shirt, because if he is on tee-vee, something bad has happened.
Jon and Stephen are in ridiculously dressed in US Flag designs... and arguing... and now a vaudeville number, funny!
I'd marry Uncle Sam if I could do it legally.... (Jon)
Oh, am rolling on the floor...
Third medal of sanity to Mick Foley who took the side of a bullied gay kid. He is a professional wrestler.
Medal of fear to the creator of Facebook.
Ok, Kid Rock and Cheryl Crowe.
Oooo.... terrific lyrics. Can't solve problems, but care.
That was the intro... great song.
Now she doing a solo. Wonderful crowd shots, it's like being there without the chilly DC air and masses of people.
Estimates are there are 175,000 people on the Mall.
2:39 pm (all times are EST) Incredible 'debate' between Jon and Stephen, and such a take down of the media, I was blown away.
Jon gave the end address, straight, passionate, and unbelievably rational.
Wow. I hope to be able to post that.
Now Tony Bennett.
America, the Beautiful.
End, all the musicians, Mavis Staples is to die for. End credits are rolling. John Oliver still in his Peter Pan outfit. He is so crazy. Limey's are completely dotty.
Over.
Ok.... it wasn't like any 'rally' I have ever seen. Wasn't 'Cumbaya', was peaceful, just people of all sorts of racial backgrounds, mostly young, wasn't for one party or another, but focussed on people getting back to the middle and TALKING with one another. In a civilised way.
Am not so sure how Obama's people are going to take it. The Faux News people will denigrate it to the max, that I am sure of. And there was no propaganda about getting out the vote, and that will irritate Barack to the max, am sure.... It was about people learning to LISTEN to one another, and exchange views in a civilised manner, and about mutual respect. Colbert played devil's advocate in their mock 'debate', and really hit the heights of satire and reason. Fascinating stuff.
What I especially liked was the lack of propaganda. There was always a message, but you had to 'get' it because it was more or less subliminal.
That HAD TO BE, and IS... the most rational thing I have seen in a very long time, and was glad to have 'been' there.
Am sure there are all sorts of groups who want to energise the base.
Hnmmm... 175,000 people of all sorts. Impressive. Am wondering how many more like me saw it on the 'internets'. Acutally, I didn't know WHAT to expect, they'd been touting it for weeks now on the Daily Show and Colbert Nation.
And by the way... Colbert does some awesome things, gets his 'nation' to donate to causes, and is very successful at it. His latest is donating to school projects, you can pick which one you want to help, and has raised nearly half a million dollars with that alone. And helps veterans, and even got the speed skaters to the Olympics after a Netherlands bank who was banking the team went bankrupt, and got more than enough to get them there. He's more than 'cool'.
Whelp, have to get to bed. Peter martyred me today. Am always battling uphill with him, and he doesn't know WHAT the fuck is happening.
It was nice to see something different for a change.
oh, exciting, the rally to restore sanity and or fear
Is going to start being live-streamed on the internet in an hour. It is 16:51 here. Am curious as to what the hell they are going to do there. If you are reading this today at around eleven a.m. Eastern time, grab a tv tray, and click the link here.
I am STILL trying to digest
That thug in Kentucky kicking a young woman in the head while two others were already holding her down on a curb and giving her a concussion. When she wasn't doing anything wrong, or being threatening to a senate candidate. And then that bastard saying SHE should apologise to HIM. I'm not gonna post the video. It's been all over the place.
But really now, for that scum to do that is, as Big Ed would say, Psycho Talk. Really, Profitt, (and what a terrific name, btw...) She should apologise for you stomping a defenseless woman in the head. I hope he gets sued for millions.
Did I say I was disgusted? I am.
'Adventures' in La-La Land....
Today's hospital visit was an adventure in frustration.... traffic jams, got in fifteen minutes later than I promised, and there he was in a wheelchair out in the hall.
'Peter, what are you doing, slinking about?'
'What are you talking about? I was just in the room talking to a psychiatrist for an hour.'
'Really... what did she want?'
'She wanted to know why I'm sad. And the staff is worried about me.'
Uh-huh.
'Well, let's get you a coffee, because... I brought you two muffins.'
Panic.
'I can't leave the ward without telling them. They caught me yesterday, and couldn't find me at first.'
'Ummm, what do you mean, they 'caught' you? Listen, let's get you that coffee, and you can tell me about it.'
Seemingly, he took off on his own in the wheelchair yesterday, but he doesn't remember doing that, except he landed in the cellar level of the 1st Med station. And they panicked when he went missing. He DOES remember being down there, and confused. 'There were so many doors, and I couldn't find the elevator, only the stairs, and I couldn't get up them in the wheelchair.'
This is true... the cellar level is a bloody labyrinth, lots of treatment rooms, and even confusing to me. Have accompanied him to mri's and x-rays a few times, and landed at the exit I didn't want. So I can imagine, if it is true, it must have been even more confusing to him. Luckily, someone found him and got him back upstairs.
It probably happened. He was fairly clear for a while while I visited. And the nurses were keeping a hawk-eye out on him like they haven't been the past week. And it dove-tails nicely with him muttering that he was gonna run away from there yesterday.
Oh weia... I'm just glad he didn't press E for the ground floor, and barrel out of the building in his Johnny and Depends. It's cold out there beginning in the evening.
I made him PROMISE not to do that again, and to take his meds, and painted 'pretty pictures' of him being 'home' in Gamlitz again.
So, ok. I have something to criticise here. A nursing home doesn't have the experts to give certain kinds of care. It would bust their operating costs, and wouldn't be affordable. Which makes sense. What DOES bother me is shunting a patient back and forth between different hospitals, when they do NOT have the people who can treat them, especially when the patient is going into dementia. It is disorienting, and exacerbates the condition in their mind, even though it is necessary to provide the best care possible. It's a conundrum.
Since March, Peter has had three stationary stays in two different hospitals. And it confuses him even more. I wish I knew a solution... like maybe experts who come in if needed, and do what the doctors in the nursing homes can't, but don't rip them out of a space where they feel 'at home' which is hard enough to acheive??? And only shunt them over for short examinations on machines the facility doesn't have, and bring them back 'home'. It would probably cost the state much less in the long run.... I think there should be a middle ground. Something more holistic.
But what do I know? I only sometimes see bad results of what is meant to be first class care, and sure, that is an extreme example, but... we have a saying.... 'good intentions sometimes end in bad results.'
Nothing is perfect, in other words. Today he said he just wants to go home. To Gamlitz. That was a good sign...
As to the care in LKH here... those people are very conscientious and kind, and patient. I've seen other places there where you have impatient nasty staff, believe me. Exceptions to the rule.
Going in, I ran into Joanna. She is the cousin of my former last boss, and went through the very same thing with her husband. Didn't want to put him in a nursing home and basically went through a living hell, and would pour out all her frustration and sorrow, and sometimes the very funny things, but we listened. My boss was cold-heartedly pragmatic, and said 'Put him in a home, it will destroy you, otherwise.' At the time, I thought that was cold-hearted. Now I understand.
Joanna's husband has been no longer among us for a couple of years now.
She was very cordial, and nice, and we spent a couple of minutes in the lobby before I went up. I didn't get 'into' what was then... But she is obviously doing well. And good for her.
So now it is my turn. Am glad I really listened back then.
Thank whomever
That I didn't grow up in Texas. Because I would be believing that the US is shortly before the ultimate downfall. WHY should this be an issue??? I certainly didn't run around subverting the culture... There is balance in the call-ins below, but wow... 'teh crazy' is certainly out there...
Views from a hospital floor....
I wanted to take some Autumn ones before it fully fades. If you look closely, it isn't all sky in the background, but the vague outlines of some mountains, and there is a tiny white speck. It snowed up there yesterday... And yeah the weather was lousy.
Peter wanted to be out a bit in his wheelchair, but this is the only decent view up there, the back of the Schloßberg. There used to be a fortress on it, but Napoleon razed it.... and the only thing left is the bell tower, and the citizens had to pay ransom for it so that he would at least THAT left standing....
The view from the glassed in elevator coming up. Which always gives me some vertigo... Note the Art Deco facade on the left. Inside it is modern, but this huge complex is an ongoing project, with the most amazing mix of architecture. The 'Help' sign was part of a huge campaign to raise some outside money, seemingly, and the 'Thank you' means they reached their goal.. The hold open seminars and lectures. I loved the one on 'What You Always Wanted to Know About Sex' run by the gynocolical dept. (smile)
Tja, gloomy day, but interesting vistas. It's apropos nothing, really... Grey makes most people glum, I guess.
Today is our national holiday....
Yup, on this day in 1955, the last of the occupying troops of the four powers left Austria, and the Second Republic began. It's a day with some gatherings downtown, but mostly people like to go out hiking. Werner called me for one of his chats this morning, and didn't know it was a holiday. Come ON.... it takes an American to tell an Austrian it's our national holiday? Cracked me up. 'The only national holiday I know is July 14th (France) Jeanne D'Arc.' I mean, really, now, that is pathetic.
The weather for that isn't really conducive to doing that, and I was at the hospital, doing my daily visit, and it wasn't all too good.
Getting back home, I tuned in to Rachel from yesterday and had forgotten she was doing a special docu on the assassination of Dr. Tiller... which chilled me about as much as the cold breeze outside did on my way through town....
It was low key, and very interesting, however. And chilling.
BUT... I found something that made me smile. It's cool, actually. Am definitely not coordinated enough to do something like that. And has nothing to do with the day, but it might make you smile.... right click to see it full screen on YouTube.
Ok....
We're back to health care again.
And I so do not want to get into it at the personal level I have done it at up till now, with details, and telling y'all how it works here.
It does work.
This is sort of 'ruminating', ok?
I worked HARD to try to explain the differences, and why I think what we have is good. And I did that because I thought it might help dispell lies.
Well, for the last week, have had a situation here, and it really doesn't look all that good. For the patient, Peter, I mean. He is stationary in Graz, and I'm THERE daily.
The care is good, hell it is stellar. And I get to go in an out as I wish, mix it up with the nurses, and it is 'good'.... I get no flak.
Things look dire... and I can sneak around the hallways and listen at nurses' stations as much as I like... no signs of Death Panels so far.
However, things aren't so good. Things that I do not wish to post, but only two people know.
But believe me.... single payer health care can be a blessing. And Obama was stupid to have taken that off the table from the get-go.
Oh my....
My in-box is full of incomings from the Dems... asking for monetary help. And I see stellar names in the headers, and they mostly deserve some help. The most recent was asking for four dollars as contribution. I had one a while back from Alan Grayson, he wanted five.
Pretty greedy, aren't they?
(In case you are wondering, I mix it up where I can...)
However... that is a far cry from what Republicans ask for. It begins with one hundred dollars and way up. There is a difference there.
Does that TELL you anything?
I would be MORE than happy to donate four or five dollars to whom I think is a good guardian of leadership.
Except I can not. It would taint the elections coming from a foreign source.
It is frustrating.... I can do cheerleading, but cannot do the directly involved thing.
That would be illegal. I don't DO illegal.
But it is sort of interesting... have always been a political animal.
Get out the Kleenex......
This is from Texas, and normally I'm not crazy about Texans. Where WERE these people when I wanted to asphyxiate myself in my 57 Chevy at 17 and failed because I ran out of gas? Oh yeah, there were no internets.
Yes, the Councilman was emotional, because he hadn't told it before. In his place, and at his age, I would have been rabidly angry. Except... oh yeah, I already DID that today.... let my inner monster angry RenB out. Or my bio-mom's genes come to the fore, as you wish... It's a long story, and not about this post, actually. But that is looking back from an age that is way beyond his. But he made my eyes leak.
This broke my heart for the man, but he manned up. Good on him.
Interesting.....
Women's rights. And brings up a very important question. Why separate clinics and not just provide abortion without putting women in a spotlight with separate clinics?
Hmmmm.. Every day a little death.....
I just got a call... Peter. He was crying and in pain.
HERRGOTTSAKRAMENTVERFLIXTHALLELUJAHNOCHAMAL!
I hardly got my ARSE out of the hospital this afternoon, and they operated on his remaining front foot. The wound there was gangrenous, and full of pus.
Since when is October the season for re-runs?
Ohhhhhhhh... mannomannomann...
'Ummmm..... they didn't REMOVE anything, did they?'
'No, but it HURTS.'
'Did they give you a pain killer?'
'I don't want to take any more pills. Will you be here tomorrow?'
'Of course I will. Try to sleep and don't be the 'hero'. '
It's a re-run, Preciousses.
I expected worse, have been all around that race-course.
Several laps, even.... sometimes we came in ahead, sometimes we didn't.
Actually, I had expected worse in my innermost 'Ren'. Deep down, I mean.... Have been here before... several times, but it is always the beginning of something much worse.
I hope they gave him local anaesthetic, and not full, because his BRAIN will melt.
And this is where the equal rights thing clicks in. I couldn't be consulted, or put in my two cents worth.... they just did it. Swell. Am sure they have the best intentions to save the foot.
Oh, I now have the right to visit him in hospital, and I have the right to ask his doctors what the hell is going on. Which is amazing.... But to have a SAY in what is going on? Uh-uh. SOME people don't understand that.
Fine. Let's have a party, hey.... after all, we've come 'so far'. Right....
This is familiar territory to me. One that I abhor. It doesn't make it any easier, given what is happening...
Look, I don't wanna get all emotional, and it is the case at the moment... but sometimes I wonder how much I can TAKE.
And most importantly, how much HE can take.
We were just 'talking' about this stuff this afternoon. About the 'It Gets Better' campaign, and the background.... he was 'clear' at that point, and he was amazed, and hurt, and cried. (He is really thin-skinned lately, and so am I.) And amazed that Hillary Clinton even did a spot for it. (We have always talked politics...) But he got tired, and I sort of just made an excuse to go.
Will have to go out there tomorrow, and stir up some shit.
So yeah, they operated on his foot.
The facility is very very good.
So yes... you take what you get, and fight for rights.
Peter is 71. I haven't seen any 'death panels' yet. They are trying to save his remaining foot.
And it is Socialised medicine.
Someone is lying....
No news today....
Just back from the hospital, and not really up for doing much of anything.
Will try to get my batteries re-charged by tomorrow.
I hate this election cycle, but here is food for thought...
For those of you without cable.... here are a few interesting things to think about. First, the MSM spin on the side of GOP.
And then voting obstruction
Which leads us to one of the most heinous ads I have ever seen... you can find out why...
Hold on to your seats. I saw it earlier today, but didn't immediately get the connex. Angel of Death, right. It's about an ad from the anti pro-life movement. Josef Mengele was called 'The Angel of Death' in the KZ's, the concentration camps. To portray Obama that way in that ad, and it was VERY professional, is disgusting. There are at least six candidates for Senate who believe that EVERY woman has to carry a child to term, regardless of if she was raped, or a victim of incest, or it would threaten the mother's life. Among them are women, who should really KNOW better. These people are SICK.
One aspect of the ad made me laugh... the music. Because, you see, the DIABOLICAL Rachel Maddow had a whole series of segments earlier this year, where she made fun of GOP ads with dire sounding, threatening sounding music... to the uninitiated. They kept using the opening of (Austrian) composer Carl Orff's 'Carmina Burana', about fate, actually. He composed it to writings found in latin in a monastery wall. It's bombastic.
I don't know WHAT they used in this ad, but it was just as creepy-sounding to the uninitiated....
So if your time is limited, watch this clip. But the other two give food for thought... and, from a view from afar, are, I believe, relevant.
Harumph.... daily horsepital visits again
Saw Peter at the local hospital today, and .... oh boy.... in the space of one hour he asked me four times to fetch a wheelchair, could we go out, he had to go to the bank, and wanted coffee and a piece of cake. And each time I was patient, and said, 'I can't take you out, Peter, it's gotten too cold and you have nothing to wear, your clothes are in Gamlitz. You were only here for a check-up, and they had to keep you for a while.'
'Where are my clothes? Go look in the locker.' There was only a tee shirt on his nightstand, and a pair of jeans in the locker, btw, he was just there for a check-up on his remaining foot.
'See, there are only your pants... your clothes are in Gamlitz.'
'Why are they THERE???'
(Sigh... ) And I went all over it again.... from the top.
Oh, and there was this 'weird' moment with him telling me he had 'talks' with Admin in Gamlitz regarding finances, and would sell off a piece of his inerited lands in Carynthia. They are so long disappeared and sold off, it gave me the chills. And I said, 'Peter, there AREN'T any more parcels of land to SELL.' 'Where ARE they?' 'You sold them.' He didn't believe me.
I took a good hour of it, and then said I had to ride back home before the trams filled up with no-neck monsters at four like yesterday. And as usual he went into panic mode. I said I would be there the same time tomorrow, and I will. Hardly got in the door, and he coerced a nurse to lend him her cell to call, and asked if I would be there tomorrow. 'Yes, I will be there tomorrow. Same time Peter.' He started crying, was a bit panicked, 'Don't let me down.' 'I won't, you get some rest, ok?'
This is such a rapid deterioration since July, well, it hurts all right.
A nurse came in for one of the other patients, introduced herself just with her first name, and I said, 'Nice to meet you. Ren'.
Peter got bent out of shape, and said, 'What are you THINKING of, you're Herr B.' It's a generational etiquette thing.
(Shrug)
A few days ago, was surfing on YouTube, and I think it was a Bill Mahr clip, where he said, 'People watch Soaps because they can have the feeling that no matter how bad their lives are, the ones they see there are much worse, so it makes them feel better.' I think there is more than a kernel of truth in that.
So I came home and messed about with that and checked out some clips from a thing called 'Port Charles', which the Ven had mentioned, which I had heard was about vampires, because, why not? I needed a bit of gothic horror to off-set what I'm seeing otherwise... But it is no wonder it folded. It was seemingly not so good. Disappointing day all around....
Here we go yet again...
Didn't get to Gamlitz yesterday, because the head nurse called me to tell me they had taken Peter to Graz and had to be admitted as stationary patient there, so he called to tell me he was in the 'Erste Med', on the third floor.
The nurse had said he was in the angiology department, which is for heart, lymph system, and blood disorders.
However, I found him in the nephrology department, which treats kidney ailments. Have no idea what the hell is going on.... because.... I got to the room, and his bed wasn't there. (I really should be accustomed to that by now, but it always gives me the sinking elevator feeling for the first few seconds...)
Found a nurse, who told me he was 'downstairs' having an MRI of his foot, (sort of like a Cat-scan), and it would take quite a while. Well there is NOTHING I hate more than hanging around interminably in a hospital, have done it too much, so I just turned around, and rode back home.
Hardly got in the door, and there he was on the phone... apologising to me, for cripes sake!
Now normally, you can pretty much come and go as you please if you visit. But there are official visiting hours posted on that ward, so assume that during those hours, the patients will be in their rooms. So told him I would make sure to be there at one p.m. tomorrow.
Swell.
As a side note... the round trip per bus and street-car from my house to the hospital at the edge of the city took longer than a one-way trip to Gamlitz, which is about 45 kilometers away! The traffic! The packed tram full of little kids, giggling teenage girls, people going home from work, as there was a shift change at the hospital, it's always a nightmare. Will see if it is better tommorrow. Will avoid today's time slot, that's for sure.
Au Weh! Au WEH!!!!
oh.my.gawwd... Jessica.
Peter called and told me she had been in Gamlitz today, and said she'd been there for the second time today, came in with a mess of doctors, and 'interfered'. Or did an intervention. And I thought 'Wha???' And I said, 'You must have been DREAMING, Peter.'
He insisted she had been and not for the first time. That is when I thought, Au, WEH!
She HATES hospitals.
Ok, slamming on the brakes here, screech, and backing up.
Jessica isn't her name. She was my old boss and ran the hotel during my day for nearly thirty years during my time. I hadn't been there long, and the old series SOAP becan running on Austrian tee-vee, and there was a character of that name. Peter had been watching it as well, and one day I said, 'Doesn't our boss remind you of Jessica on that show?' And he gleefully said, 'YES!'
The character on the show was scatterbrained, and chattered on about things, and if you didn't know the background, you were clueless. And that was sort of what my boss was like fifty thousand things in mind, a family, four children, the hotel to run, business to take care of, and once in a while we would look at one another and say, 'WHAA?'
She's always been a good woman at heart. And sort of a mother hen. But she remained 'Jessica' for a long time.
So when Peter told me that, I was non-plussed, but uncertain.
I 'thought' maybe someone from the HO-tel had said something, so was uncertain.
So I called her. A call that was long overdue, she did some very nice things for me, and you don't sit thirty years next to one another without knowing who the other person is, and the first thing was, 'Oh Gawwd, are you in trouble?' With great concern in her voice...
And I said, 'No but I have an odd question... were you in Gamlitz today?'
'No.... let me see, I was in Gamlitz a week ago, with my family, and we went to have Sturm in a Buschenschank... Sturm is a fresh wine with an immense amount of sugar, and she LURVS it. Let me tell you, if you want a headache to end all headaches, it's toxic... )
'Today I was in the restaurant, and boy are they in trouble....'
And then we had this circular conversation, and she wanted to know what is wrong, while telling me all the stuff she does to stay fit. She had a stroke two weeks before Peter did.
What came across was the caring, so I caught her up to date, and she didn't like it. At all, but is doing well, and berated me for smoking still.
We were always at loggerheads, she being more or less a freeper, and me freshly minted Sozi, but there were so many other things, and respect.
I MISS that. I mentioned something about Peter, and she said, 'Oh, HIM. How are YOU doing?'
Guess she liked me.
I have to add something, because it ties in to a couple of posts below. WWII
My boss was brought up in the so-called 'Sudetenland'. It was a mixture of Czechs and Germans in the west of what later became Tschechoslovakia. HER earliest memories were being thrown out of the country at the end of the war, and taking what they could carry on foot, in this case to Austria, and she was very young, and many people died.
It must have been terrifying for her. And am sure it never left her memory.
Am not saying it wasn't worse that what the Germans did, sending concentration camp victims who were so weak on a 'Death March'. That was worse. MUCH worse.
But over the years, and just talking with people, isn't it always the weakest and most vulnerable who get the most harm?
I don't even WANT to think about what went on in Iraq and Afghanistan in the past ten years, to the general population, and isn't THAT a cynical term?
But I DO think that what is happening now over there happened then.
It's all sort of 'odd'. No one seems to want to LEARN much of anything...
Dunno, was just cogitating... which is never good...
I hate Sundays....
And a memory popped back, a sad one. It's about the post on Rudolf Brazda post below.
It was in the early 70's, I was in the Munich train station and sort of crowded, but they had a nice custom. If there was a table for four and one person sat there, you could go over and ask, 'Excuse me, is this seat taken?' And they would invariably say, 'Of course, sit.' So I had an hour, got a mug of beer. And we chatted a bit, and he was really down.
He was 'old' to me, grey-haired, and looked morose. We chatted a little, and then I saw it... the inside of his left forearm. A tatoo.
And my heart sank.
And I said, 'Excuse me, but is THAT what I THINK it is???'
He said, 'Yes, Buchenwald.' It was his tatooed concentration camp number, hey...
'Are you going home?'
'No, I just come here.'
'WHY???' ( I was 26 and naive....)
'I hate being alone.'
He told me a little bit about his experience, and it was horrible, was young and more than impressionable....
And it was awful. And I was speechless. Of course I knew generally but hearing it from a real person was pretty devastating.
I just listened.
So seemingly, he just went up to the train station café and find someone to talk to and tell his story. It was horrible and frightening, but he never got past it.
And I asked the stupidest question of my LIFE... 'Once you got freed, how could you STAY here, why didn't you get OUT?' (I'd have high-tailed it out of there, but he had roots.)
The answer was crushing. 'I had nowhere to GO...'
He was German born, generations in the country, they wiped his family out, but he still felt Germany was his 'homeland'. And so crushed, and decimated... he couldn't move one way or the other, but just feel sad and reach out to strangers in transit in a train station.
And that is what fascist regimes do in the end.
Ok, am connecting dots. Big industrialists, like Bush's grandfather and others supported the Nazis financially, that is no secret and open. And others. And the Krupps (steel industry) were way in with 'Adi' and his gang, but too stupid to see where it would lead, G0ebbels was a genius at communication, and this idjit.... from Alaska, I think, (or Tennessee) wants to put poor people into camps to be 're-instructed'????
WHY do alarm bells go off in my head?
It'll probably be the end of the world, who knows.... But if those tools get in, oh man are you all in for a big ride to nowhere.
And there will be lots of people crushed and sitting around train station cafés or the Greyhound bus ones, destroyed.... And not Starbucks.
And yet another from the 'It Gets Better' campaign...
Nice song. Good text, too much autotune, but whadda I know. For those who do not know... the 'It Gets Better' campaign just seemingly formed grass roots-wise to save bullied teens from killing themselves. There have been a lot the past few months and most were over confusion about sexual identity.
Enjoy... and if you know someone who is confused, listen to the text and reach out.
soft Sundays....
Here's a nice interview with Whoopie Goldberg with a good basic message... Where HAS civility gone? Ummmm could it BE that if you get bashed all the time, you hit back??
It's the weekend, dreary
history lesson. Sad. If you right click on the picture instead of playing it here, you can watch it full screen on YouTube.
Am up late, total cold...sort of blech...
But Rachel had a devastating interview yesterday. The man's identity is screened so he can't be hit on. He is very articulate, and I could identify on many levels of what he was saying, been there, done that. In other situations.... But I know. No one serving their country should have to have that extra dimension of stress. No one.
How much more does this TAKE, hey...
I've gone ON on this issue for a very long time. It's not like 'da crazy'. How many times do I have to SAY this? I've had insight into the military... I've BEEN in dangerous situations. And YES, am gay.... It was never an ISSUE.
You were in a situation, and you HAD their backs.
This is upsetting. Barney Frank is sort of cool, although I don't always like him much... I got kidnapped... once. And I was as gay as any little kid could be. And my MAIN concern was keeping my little brother safe. Who turned out to be more hetero than you can imagine.
And this sort of 'thing' continued for as long as I can remember.
I remember...and people 'out on the square', find me sort of idiotic. Except I knew it was all true...
And I can transfer that into what HEROS and decorated soldiers are going through, and it is shameful.
Thank gawwd....
This was so good... If you want to fight for your country... who should stop it or impede
Clinton really did a disservice to his country.
And it took a LOG Cabin Rethug to achieve it? Shame on the Dems, and O'Bambi should go and stand in the corner for a YEAR. Just sayin'...
Well... cotton candy for brains, hey...
The reports on the chileanian miners drove me nuts today. Oh, am very happy they are being saved. It's the reporting. I wanted to jump through my pc screen, and rip some people's vocal cords out.
Clueless, just clueless, and so ignorant....
Sappy, saccharine, totally not 'getting' anything important.
They all missed the obvious, but have BEEN THERE, ... oh yes, I know what the maggots of the press are all right...
I only respect a few people after all...
If I had been a journalist, and on that story... it would have been about those trapped people's solidarity. THAT was the story... fighting about who would be last to come up? They DID.
They were all in a terrible situation together. And they bonded, and were 'brothers'...
It was certainly differerent from what really happened.
I DO know about this stuff.
DADT
Clinton's worst decision ever....
If there are brave people who FIGHT for the country, and get ousted for who they are... nothing is right about it.
ok, am done for the morning and disgusted...
I'm gonna get my 'inner Sue' fired up, and sort of scream. I got a mess of stuff about gay-bashing, and abortion, whereupon I decided I never liked living in that country, and was glad I ran away.
And then there was this...
If you haven't fallen in love with Rachel Maddow...
Here is yet another reason. I love it when she goes all brainy...
Something is very wrong in the state of the States
For anyone who was a bit rattled by my special
Annti birfday present... the guy DOES have a normal voice.... What began as a prank has gotten him three and a half million hits on YouTube in three or four days. Here is his 'thank you' in normal mode. Oh yes, he is gay... and cute as hell. You have to have some cojones to let your 'inner Sue' out like that, and it was hilarious.
the 542 nd amphibious engineers
If anyone is still out there from the above unit out of WWII.... please contact me, there is still someone on the planet who was with you.
My Dad was a bit irritated that I would lump you all in with 'the navy', except he never told me much of anything about his time there, and I didn't know.
So if anyone is OUT there from the 542nd... give me a shout-out.
Oh, cute...
English in 24 accents. Most of them are fairly good. The kid has a great gift of mimicry, although the Scots one wasn't so great. His Nigerian one was spot on. I fell about laughing. This is NSFW, and lots of F bombs, so don't play it if children are around. Also via Joe.My.God, via Andrew Sullivan, (the douchebag..)...
Am kicking myself......
For some reason which may or may not be the first signs of Alzheimers, I have October 12th in my head as being Annti's birfday. But it was yesterday, damn it!
So, Annti, found a 'surprise party' for you over at Joe.My.God to atone for my absent-mindedness, and you KNOW I hate nelly camp humour, but I suppose that if I were there in Louisiana, and someone would want to throw you a surprise party, I'd be cool on the outside, but inside, would be nearly as bad as 'Sue'. Sue is cute. I have no idea where the clip comes from, but it actually made me laugh, yet irritated at the same time. Have fun with it, and will now go figuratively shoot myself.
Oh, hilarious....
eewwwwwww... I wanted talk to Maria. I thought I finally got her...
Said, 'Good Lord, what happened to YOUR voice, did you catch cold?'
'Who IS this?'
'Ummmm errm, I wanted to speak to Maria G., you aren't her?'
'She's out working in the Hof (the farm). Call back later.''
'Ok'...... (banging head on the keyboard...)
It was her dreaded mother-in-law!
I am so not joking about the 'dreaded' part. That woman is a piece of work, and has a voice like a fog horn, normally.....
So SHE must have a cold, because her 'orGAN', (voice) is normally like a fog-horn.
Ouch! There is a reason why she picked up, but it is too complicated.
I must be getting deaf. But on the other hand, it was funny as hell to me....
I'd wanted to ask Maria to make some time to see Peter before he fully loses it. He DID take her with us on our Med cruise, after all, and she was good with him for a long time... She left the house, and came away with us for a week, without even telling her husband or kids where she was going. 'They'll get over it.' Well they sort of did, but her husband used it in a suit to give her household money, and did NOT like the fact that she was with two guys who were together, 'if you know what I mean, ring a bell?' We still laugh over that. Günther's father isn't a fan either... Because Dorle was with us as well, and he had a crisis, and his father blamed us for it, although it had nothing to do with us, and he was comfortable enough letting her take that trip...
So I thought it would be maybe ok to ask her to do that....
I don't know why that all popped into my head just now... We were all still relatively young, and it was an adventure, and we laughed muchly, and I was up on deck in the mornings, just drinking in the beauty, especially in the straits between Albania and Corfu just after sunrise... and getting my first corfee when the bistro opened and then sitting, and letting myself be overwhelmed. It was always 'MY' moment, before the busy day would begin. I loved that.
The Venerable was in the Navy, and I 'think' he would understand that... the calm, the wind, the beauty of nature.... just for a few moments. I thought of him, then...
Peter just called, back to reality... (shaking myself awake...) 'When are you coming?' 'It's Saturday, Peter, no connections to speak of...' (Big sigh....) 'When are you coming? I so miss you...'
Well... wow.... it's sort of weird, you know? Decades of worrying, danger of someone taking away the person I fell hopelessly in love with, and THAT? AT THE END? Gives me the creeps.
And YEAH, it is cynical, and I hate myself for it. Love IS some sort of battleground, it doesn't MATTER what the make-up of the partners are, it always plays out the same. You go after what you want, and you DO what you have to get it. And if it is solid, you have some very good years, and then, trouble comes, and you FIGHT... and you can walk out the door... or something comes between, and the bond is still so tight, you FIGHT. And it isn't about sex any more, or being held at night and feeling safe, but about saving someone's life. As well as you can.
Now that is a scenario for a Soap....
Life isn't exactly a hilarity hour...
back to regular programming...
Will try later.
oh wow....
Every time I'm in Gamlitz, the next day is pretty rough....
I get present in Peter's mind, and he keeps calling, doesn't know what to say, but wants to hear me.
I was talking to my friend Günther today, and he kept nodding... it was about the window of short-term memory. He knew...
And went quiet... I knew what that meant...
He's not the sort of person who gives you the bad news straight up. He'll tell you 'roundabout', but he WILL tell you. In the kindest way possible....
That is what makes him the most wonderful children's surgeon EVAH.
It's also what makes him vulnerable.
Dorle asked if his phases are 'good', in that he doesn't 'know'...
And I said, 'Not yet, he has clear phases, and really panics, and becomes frightened.'
Günther nodded, he knew what I was talking about.
In other words, he doesn't know what is happening to him, goes into longer and longer phases of being 'out of it, and when he does get clear, he is confused and very afraid.
It's classic.
It doesn't mean it is any easier to WATCH.
But I would rather have the truth than false hope.
So alls you can do is 'suck it up'....
And life goes on till it stops.
One of these days I will go down there.... and he won't recognise me any more. It is a definite possiblility.
We shall see how it plays out... But what I have found out is... however you think you are 'prepared', you just aren't not if you were 'in-love'... once..
Tja... we shall see...
Mmmm... it's my favourite part of autumn....
As per usual, after going to Gamlitz, I get all jazzed up with new impressions, and go into stream-of conciousness mode and hardly get to bed before four a.m. And get up grouchy and go into hermit mode. And waaay oversleep. Except Dorle called. And sort of pressured me into meeting her and Günther 'out on the square', Peter business. So I sort of growled a bit, but said ok. After all, they are in Salzburg most of the time, so it was important... So we sat out in the garden of a Gasthaus, they had lunch, and we spent a very nice almost an hour out in the sun, and it was glorious weather, mild, warm, and I think we all enjoyed that... You can cover a lot of territory in nearly an hour doing some catch-up... man, Günther has seen more of the US than I ever did... Doing presentations as children's surgeon. He's pretty stellar, remember some of the things I helped with at the beginning. And saw the good side and the bad side of 'Murka. And I was thinking about how we all were when we were young. Life can be so HARD on you over decades, and we all got our knocks... and somehow we survived...
I thanked my friend today... When Peter had his stroke, he was kind enough and had enough 'juice' to call the hospital Peter was in and get a consult with a colleague. And he told me that because of the many years of being on insulin, his brain structure had changed. That was a very kind thing to do, because I KNEW what he was trying to tell me, and watch out for it.
What can I say, up till a couple of months ago, there were slips, but I KNEW... That was a nice thing for him to do. Luckily we had a couple of years, and I thought I could handle that... But found it harder than I thought. Forewarned is forearmed, and so forth, but once you GET there, it's terra incognita, and you fly by the seat of your pants.... But am grateful for being forewarned.... It would have been much more horrible if I hadn't had a clue. That's what friends do.
I think that when we were young, we thought we were invincible, but LIFE isn't like that.... and has some hard lessons. But we are all still here... fighting on... gone grey and long in the tooth... those we have... So I was glad I got out of my hidey hole for a bit, and enjoyed that little time.... Some of you have met them... But Autumn is here....
It''s glorious muted 'Technicolor'. Greens and golds, and a flash of red here and there for emphasis, and the light is sort of golden, a very special light. I shoved Peter up onto the height yesterday, he so wanted to be out, experience the sun and the breeze, and was happy. He loved this little farm up the hill.. puff, puff. It was worth doing, it made him happy.
From the bus stop, I could see how autumn is advancing. The grapes on the vinyard have been harvested, the gold is advancing apace, and I would SWEAR that sky is what I call 'NH blue'. It appears now and then, you know...
In front of the facility, there was a bed of mini-margaritas, or daisies, or whatever you call them.. I hadn't seen them so small before.
And you KNOW it is autumn when the asters bloom. And the Fette Hennen...(fat hens).... they always bloom last. I had one in my garden, and it drove Peter crazy. 'What did you plant a CACTUS for, for cripes sake?' 'It's not a cactus, just wait and see, ok? Trust me.' He was always disgruntled about my 'fat hen, and it wasn't even big... And in October, he would say, 'It's sorta nice....'
Gawwd, I miss my garden, being out, and planning, so that every week 'something' would bloom... And caring for them, and being all 'parental'. So that is why I post so many flower photos. I guess.... Other people have pets. I had my garden. And I miss it terribly.
Oh yeah, went to a 'gala'...
Y'know... some things can really 'get' you. Got to Gamlitz, Peter was 'improved', in that he was fairly alert, and coherent, so I made jokes about 'the gala', and everything... I fully expected it to be a train wreck in slow motion.
See the white-haired guy way in the back on the far left of the picture? We often land in the courtyard out front for a snigarette, and he is very nice, and sometimes very funny. The lady in pink next to him in the wheel-chair is his wife. She had two strokes, and won't be able to leave the home again, but he is there every day, and she recognises me when I come, and gives me her 'good' hand, and I greet her as kindly as I can. He worked VERY hard as a heavy machinist in a factory in Graz, but lives down there now to be close to his wife. He is a really good guy. Third from the left is a lady I met in the elevator today. She was looking so depressed during the whole thing, my heart went out to her.
I'd taken Peter out and shoved him up the steep side of the hill so that he could take in the lovely scenery, and just enjoy the view. And he said, 'You know, this is a beautiful place, it is so peaceful.' That cut me...
and then it was show-time. We had been out in the courtyard beforehand, when 'machine guy' had arrived. He told he, 'If it's horrible, will join you down here for a cigarette, but they do lots to not make anyone's day monotonous. I agreed, and he said, 'This is the best thing that ever happened to this town, and I can't imagine travelling far to be with my wife every day.'
But he was sceptical as well, and thought it would be kinda sucky.... So we went in, and Juliana and her assistant from Admin, were all aflutter, and stopped us, and asked us if we were going to attend. And I said, 'Well I wouldn't miss it for the world...' And once in, the other one whose name I still don't know, came over and said, 'I can't believe it.... He won't come to our Volksmusik days.' Peter HATES Volksmusik, he likes classical, and musicals.
So we all weren't expecting much... I took Peter upstairs to do his business before the 'Fun' began, and we trundled over to the dining hall, and out came the quartett.
I must say, they had very fine voices. I didn't care for the talking-down tone that often came out, but there were people there who didn't know what in the world was happening.
Despite the toning down of the presentation, it was actually nice. Although sometimes over the top for 'outrage'. Which is French for hamming it up, and going over the top. Which is also sort of condescending in this case... but on the other hand, some people were so out of it, you can only reach them that way. It was supposed to be Operetta, Opera Arias, and from Musicals. The 'not-Juliana' was taking pictures. And whispered to Peter, was he making nasty comments... he wasn't. If they did something we thought was a bit 'off', I only had to look at him, and he was near to busting out laughing. And said, 'Don't LOOK at me like that, I'm going to LOSE it and fall apart.' Which was nice... nearly like having the 'old' Peter back. But I have to admit, they had excellent voices, and despite the fact that more was said about what would be on the programme, they stuck to operetta, which REALLY isn't my thing. The Schmalz runs out your ears.
Graz guy was thrilled and clapping and mouthing the text along, he loved it.
To each his own. I slipped out toward the end, went down to admin, and left some money to get Peter a haircut and a shave asap. He looks like Rasputin. But I think he enjoyed the hour of something new.
The soprano was very lovely. And a terrific voice. She kept moving, and my camera couldn't really get her sharp. But she was moving. She was very good.
For the first time in a month, Peter was alert, sometimes funny, not whiny and morose, and that was good. I tried to talk him into getting into the twice monthly small motor courses they have, so that he can button his shirt himself again, and it looked fairly good.... They have terrific things, no one just vegetates in there if they don't want to, and he seemed. interested in doing that.
'That wouldn't be so BAD...' So I got hopeful.... Graz guy told me his wife goes to therapy for hand therapy since her second stroke, and now she has more dexterity, and can lift her right arm and has made tremendous progress. And I said, 'Hear that, Peter?' It wouldn't hurt you to go do that. 'Oh, you just want to EXPOSE me.' 'Nope, I think it would help. You just HEARD what the man said...'
I'm still waiting for the 'death panels', because it IS single payer health care, after all.
As sad as it all can be... all I see is people treating people and helping retain their dignity.
So if this has been since March, and never seeing a single sign of malfeasance.... um, where is the problem?
how nice--- gonna be mild tomorrow.
I was just checking through things, you know, planning to get OUT of the house, and going to Gamlitz tomorrow, and all the daily stuff that can drive me nuts...
Yeah, I DO stuff like that, ok?
Don't go around unfocussed and sorta crazy...
The phone rang, and I thought it was Peter.... again... but no, it was some person doing interviews on people's smoking habits. Did I have ten minutes...
And I thought, 'Why not, it't their dime...' It was a young voice....
It was about smoking. And this KID can't have been on the team very long... he was hunting and pecking.... It amused me inside. But I kept my 'straight' poker face per voice on the telephone.
Till he came up with a one to six scale on what my relationship was with another person.
(What the fuck-hell does THAT have to do with my smoking habits????)
I absolutely fell apart laughing. I did.
I LOVE 'the unexpected'.... I do.
And I said, after laughing out loud, 'Listen, I'm gay, my partner is in a nursing home because he is older, and is going into Alzheimer's, so how do I rate that on a scale of one to six?' Six being 'bad'.
'Oh. I am so sorry....'
'It's ok...'
I LURVED sticking it to him that way....
Tja, it wasn't a good day, ya know? Peter called four times. He had nothing to say, he wants to hear my voice.
'You coming down today?'
'Thursday, Peter...'
'I miss you so much...
'I know... I'll be there tomorrow, ok?'
This is NOT what I thought many years ago. It was 'hollywood riding off into the sunset'.
Hell, you'd think...
And I am at the point... am wondering if visiting does more harm than good. My gawwd, he was going ON on the phone, he was gonna get someone to take him to my place, and 'take care' of me, and I said, 'I don't have a CRANE to get you up the twenty stairs, and heave you in through the window...' He laughed but was sad....
Peter forgets what I tell him from one moment to the next.
This is sad, and going down there is sad for me, but I have a bright spot.... At two-thirty p.m. tomorrw, there is a GALA, I kid you not. I keep missing the Bingo rounds, but a GALA, hey... it's a local operetta group, and they are going to sing operetta numbers, arias, and MUSICAL numbers for the oldies.
It might be nice, I'm always optimistic... but I have this wonderful feeling I will see a train-wreck in slow-motion.....
That's worth taking a trip down there for, and Peter will probably be impossible...
Will take pictchas....
Stay tuned....
Things I learned on the Intertubes today....
From the trivial to the important.... and will begin with the trivial. Town names.... for instance. Yesterday, Rachel Maddow explained that the people of Newark DE do not pronounce it like their namesake in NJ. The stress is on the second syllable.
I could completely understand that, although I don't know what the historical reason for it is... because we have a BERlin in NH, but the stress on the first syllable came during WWII, and Lord whomever help the hapless who wanders in there and refers to BerLIN.
Middle trivia regards the clip from the Rachel Maddow show last night, which was broadcast live from a bar in NewARK, DE. I was listening attentively, and in the first third, there was a guy in a yellow sweater, next to a grey-fox older guy, and all of a sudden... the older guy's hand was on yellow sweater guy's shoulder, buddy style, and then it changed, and it was on the other side and on his pec.
It was nothing to set off world gaydar, but mine went into the red. Someone on her team must have caught what was up, and for the rest of the show, they got relegated to another place in the bar.
Maddow is, of course. GLBT friendly, but sending subliminal signals in the the middle of a political discourse certainly isn't of help in that context. There is a time and a place, youse guys.... They didn't get thrown out, but it wasn't helpful, am sure. (And gawwd, she is tall... a goddess..)
Now to the important part... I have sort of an 'instant editor'. As soon as I push the 'publish post' button, it immediately goes to the e-mail of my very dear friend and sometimes critic. And if I mess up, oh boy... am going to hear about at as soon as she's awake. (I ususally write when she is sleeping. Time difference...)
Soooooo... I usually avoid posting anything I think about women's rights. Sure, have done some posts on what I think about MEN deciding things about abortion... I AM a man after all, and have strong opinions on that, that WOMEN should decide what options they take, and will never back down on that opinion. Men should never have the right to decide or legislate what women must do . That would be the 'Murkin Taliban.
So yes, that is sort of sexist, but it would be worse to pretend to know what women think. They are sort of terra incognita to me. Obviously...
Today... the clip below from the Ed Show got me annoyed and fired up, so I went to a subject I usually do not touch. Women's rights. And touched on the spinster teachers I encountered in Grade School in the Fifties.
I HAD another example that was in my head, and happened elsewhere in the country only a few years ago, but I felt it was not my story to tell.
I do not go out and spread something told to me in confidence, if it is not my story to tell.
Well, my friend was hurt that I didn't mention her case. So here it is... she finally got a teaching job, and would go on in her mails about her rug-rats in kindergarten, and pretending to carp about how obnoxious they were, and how she had to spend her own money for supplies, but from the photos she sent, I could see how much she was enjoying it. She got fired because.... a)she wasn't married, and more important b) she didn't go to Baptist Church every week, and when one of the kids asked her if she were atheist, she said, 'Yes'.
Death knell, end of job, no alternatives in the entire region, Curtain... end of the play.
I repeat, she gave me permission to impart that, in that she was hurt that I did not.
Am sure getting fired hurt her far more than she ever let on.
It was their loss in that parrish. I knew she was very dedicated and had great plans for those kids.
'Write about what you KNOW.' The golden rule in every writing class I ever had. And I try to cling to that rule.
I CANNOT write about women's issues. I read about them in diverse places, but usually do not sound off on them. I can approach them obliquely, as I did today, relying on memories of the child I was, and the wonderment I felt about things that didn't seem 'fair' to me.
I think that what set me off today was that it was coupled with the fact they don't want gay and lesbians teaching their children either. It makes no sense to me. Part of my family entrusted their first two children to me every day, and they MUST have thought I might be gay, but I took care of them and walked on eggs, making sure they had everything they needed.
So it made me angry to be classed as 'unfit', and it must be the same for a woman who gets put in that category. It is like being relegated to third class degenerate status.
So--- in future, I will NOT butt into women's issues. They have strong voices, very strong ones... But I WILL go into them tangentially if they also concern me and 'my kind'.
Just so's ya know...
And my friend? Thank you for reading, sometimes setting my legs straight forward if I get things wrong, and your patience when I seem to be too 'light'. Love you.
