Well, whaddaya know. am back on my blog...

Yay!

I didn't know how much I liked this till I couldn't have it... something got fucked up royally, but ok, I can vent.

Which is nice.... I watched a lot of stuff on the intertubes while cursing fate, and missing Peter. And there are really embarrassing episodes of being really just RenB, and yelling at the screen, and whatever.....

And doing stuff to save money, because, Preciousses, ten Euros a day doesn't go far. So I had this hair cutting machine, and whaddaya know, I cut off the locks, and got to the back of my pate... and the damned thing went 'errrr' like your uncle after a huge family meal falling asleep, and I got stuck looking in the mirror wondering what to do with the rest. (It is not 'GOOD' if I can't vent here... believe me... I get 'confused'.)

Well, long story short... I just cut off the rest with a pair of kitchen scissors to what I thought was a baldy, but I really can't see out of the back of my head, can I... So it was sort of patchwork, and if I were 20 and a 'punk' and dyed it orange, I might have gotten away with it. But had an intervention. Enver.

Yeah, my Turkish hairdresser. He parks below my courtyard, and I never run into him, but oh, hey, he caught me. And he said, 'What in the WORLD have you been doing, huh? This is TERRIBLE, all patchwork in the back, what are you DOING, hey.

Well, that was embarrassing, all right. And I said, 'I didn't have the money, Enver, so I tried to do it myself.' And he basically told me to march my arse over to his place to fix me up, like five minutes beforehand. And to pay him the next day when my pension arrived.

So crazy things were happening, and I was trying and re-trying to get access to my account, and nothing was working, so I decided to try a hiatus, could I feel good if I were not able to write, because I'd been so depressed, I'd wanted to shut it down... but soon realised it was a vent, and something I needed, basically every day. Because... I don't have anyone to really talk to any more.

And expressing yourself is fun.

While I was gone... a relative connected, and boy howdy, I have so much I wish to say to him. He's really in the middle of the most disgusting, un-american fight imaginable and being used as a pawn. It makes me angry, as you can tell from my language, I get fired up. Long story.

To top things off in self-embarassment... I got confused because one day is exactly like another in my current life. So I thought it would be a double horriday. Because I was so focussed on Memorial Day, I got to thinking that we were having May First, and tomorrow is Christi Himmelfahrt, so it would be a double, ya know?

Ok, stoopid, I knew it was May 31st I'd been napping, so it was confused, and boy do I dream.

I talked to Peter for the first time in six weeks.

Has to be a record.... I'S a record.....

I cried, very much. He cried, and is so.... vulnerable. He is so hopeful that I visit Monday. And I will.

Gawwd, I wish to stand under a shower and be cleansed in every sense.