I KNEW it, just knew it....

My partner in heinous slaughtering on my game on the Internet is.... 14 years old. Bingo! He's probably a young boy. Because girls would want to be magicians or healers, or something like that. Or evil thieves, if they want to act out in a game. Just an assumption.

He appeared like clockwork at three p.m., and had a surprise for him. Gave him my old level three swords and a shield that are all souped up for extra protection. The downer was, he can't use them yet because his level isn't high enough. Yet.

He was suspicious. ' Whaddaya want for it?' ' Nothing. Maybe one day you'll have something I need and can ask me.' That was before the fatal question. Because, you see, I mentioned I was late because I'd been writing yesterday about my Dad, who is 96, and overnight the wheels in his mind must have clicked.

And today, out of the blue, he asked 'How old are you actually, really?' So I told him and asked 'And you?' 'Fourteen'.

And I said, 'I KNEW it! Listen I hope you don't mind fighting monsters with an oldie.' And he said, 'I'm (still) on.' I said, 'Fine.' He said 'good'. He probably thought I would reject him... seemingly.

So he asked if a friend could join us, and I said 'of course...' So 'coverman' joined us, and as the game doesn't have many avatars, he looks like my figure. He was lost for a moment, and I asked 'da kid', 'hey where did my evil twin go?' Which made him laugh, 'good one'. Whatever, the knight suddenly returned as a titan, coverman was making a joke about I should be glad I looked like him, and lets stop chatting and kill us some skeletons, and then it was business. If you join forces, you can level up faster.

There is lots of strategy involved. And suddenly, the 'kid' says, 'have you been to the temple in Dratan?' I said no, hadn't gotten a map to teleport there, and just get lost among creepy monsters.' It's in another desert realm, very unappealing. And he said, 'I know the way, let's go'. And this window pops up, because we are a group and split the loot, and I got to be the leader of it. Because I'm levels ahead of them. Flattering, very flattering. LIke 'great, am leader of the vicious boy scout knights.'

If two on-line figures are doing crazy stuff, three was sort of wild. The journey to the temple was harrowing, and I got stuck with a basilisk that just wouldn't give up, and they came back to save me... and we got in, and it was cool.... and then the server connection broke. So I have a standing invite to meet at 3 p.m (for now... school will soon be in session) and they are as different as night and day. The original kid is monosyllabic. But has a sense of humour. Coverman has a big mouf. Real Berlin lip. But is funny.

People at lower levels help with getting on, that is what I like about the game.

I was dense when the knight came back as a Vulcan and wanted into the group, and I said, 'How do I do that? What button to push?' And he explained, I did it and he said, 'thank you.' I replied with 'You learn something new every day.' And got 'Ha!' Oh, he's heard it before.

If the kid were anyone else, I would've scrammed out and blocked him. But I think this sort of game, violent as it can be, has some usese. You learn to cooperate... (US Congress, anyone?). And you learn to be polite and respect other players. To help one another out where you get stuck, and someone with a higher level certainly learns from the lower level playes because they got stuck and learned something. It's win win.

And it doesn't matter that there isn't sound. I like the quiet to concentrate on what to do next.

As to children in Berlin.... as long as the Wall was up... Graz was among many cities who planned summer vacations for the children inside, and they would train down here, and we would host the guardians at the hotel once they had been delivered, and those kids spent a month on farms in the outdoors, and fresh air, and I hope that there are generations who look back on that with some sort of happiness. I know they bonded with the families who hosted them.

And the Wall was up for a very very long time.

No one knows about compromise, ya know? That was a horrible time for them.

The kid is ok. And have not much to say to him other than what pertains to the game.

Have avoided the news the last two days, but I found a playmate... and we meet at dungeon hour... ooooo

So did THAT wake you up?

It's harmless. The online game I've been playing so as not to be bored out of my numb skull... Pretty cool so far. So yesterday, someone asked me to be on their friend list... like facebook, sort of, and wanted some help. Well, I'm at level 28 and he or she is at 22. We were in the BEST room in the dungeon of a ruined temple, with very difficult skeleton monsters in it... armed. Well, in the game, about every three hours, if you happen to be in a dungeon, you get 50% more points for everything foul you slay. And there are certain quests you have to fulfill while there if you can.

He or she opened up a small chat window, but it got monosylabic. When you're fighting in there, it's like: 'Quick, grab the Mana box and use it, you need it.' And asked me to help so their figure could level up, so I joined forces, and we split everything 50-50... more or less. I could care about the gold, am already a millionaire three times over already. I need the FP points to level up on skills. That will sound crazy, butcha had to be there. And me a millionaire... hee-hee, chuckle, guffaw.... only on-line, there is nothing worth buying.

So he or she met me again at three p.m. I said, hey, wanna kick some skeleton warriors arses? 'Yeah!'. And off we went. I finally got the knack of keeping that knight's back. Would rush over and sneak attack his adversary when it got rough.

It was sort of fun to work as a team on the game, and we both benefited from it. With a casual, 'Oh, yay, that was coool...' And then a quick 'thanks' when I 'saved the figure on screen with my 'awesome' shield stunning number. Hell, it was just fun to interact.

Two people joining forces to help one another level up. It makes it far more fun than just playing it alone. And optically, it's a hoot.

So where does this paragon live? 'Germany'... Uh-huh, got that, and it has to be Berlin, where the game is run from, because only they will greet you with 'moin' in the afternoon. It's dialect for 'Morgen!' as in good morning... So I have to dreg up the bits I learned in the weeks I spent there. 'I'm losing my life force, can you spare any bottles?' 'Yup, tell he how'... and a window appears and transferred what I could spare. 'Can I give you anything, what do you need?' 'Nee, is' schon gut.' No, I'm fine.' Not 'Nein'... Nee.. (pronounced 'nay'.) Or 'look out for the Kleenen, they are pesky as flies on a hot summer's day.' (few points) The word would be 'klein'.... small in high German.

There is a tiny chat window down below the screen, and I SWEAR I don't understand half of what is going on there. Pure dialect.

So that is fun on many levels... I guess I have a date tomorrow. We can hack away at monsters. It takes it to a new dimension of playing a game, and whoever it is is pleasant enough, and polite.

And I DO realise, it is probably a teenaged kid, but at least he or she has manners. It was just a new facet that made the entire thing more interesting... The graphics are spectacular, there are five realms to explore, although I'm hating the desert one. That drove me nuts. HUGE spiders. Eeeew. My figure already died there twice, which loses me 5 percentage points every time. Creepy.

So will keep playing in the dungeon to get my Sir Arrogant Numbskull up to speed so he can take on more dangerous tasks. But it is fun to have someone to play it with.

I'm not gonna say it.....

Please read this 'wunnerful' CBS piece here. The last line just slayed me. It's not clear whether traders in the financial district in NYC will show up for work tomorrow, Monday.

Now I think THAT would be a blessing for the entire country. I find that... hmmm... mind boggling. And am astounded at what passes for 'journamlism' nowadays.

I could barely contain myself watching the Friday nite evening news shows, it was cringe making. Anything to hype things up and scare people half to death. That people were evacuated from low sea-level places was a precaution that made sense, but I thought I was watching a Roland Emmerich mega-production.

I refrained from seeing Saturday's blathering this morning, it was just too much of a bad thing. One thought though... WHY do the networks send people out into such inclement weather and in places that have been evacuated, and then the anchor, all comfy at his desk and dry says 'Well, it doesn't look too good. Go indoors and stay safe.' Reallah.....? They do it every single time... so where, please is the sense in sending one's colleagues out into that, do they think they are being 'brave'??? We all KNOW what it looks like. But I guess they draw straws and the shortest one is given to the person no one likes in the company. Or something like that...

I SWEAR that Werner's spirit was in my room last night, 'whispering' 'What are you watching that for? Don't you get it? It's just 'Show Business'. I'd have to say he was right.... this time.

We had empathy weather where I am. Or so I thought of it a bit later. One of our summer thunderstorms, which was a relief, because it had been over 36 degrees C for the last ten days or so, and my apt was baking like a crock pot. It was only twenty minutes, and there was a heavy downpour, and some hail, nothing unusual. Then it went quiet. And about twenty minutes later, the temperature had dropped dramatically, and the wind began howling. Really strong. Loose stuff was being banged about in the courtyard, it was sort of eerie. It lasted over an hour. No more rain, just really strong wind. Later I went out on the square, and there were a lot of tree branches on the side walk, so am glad I didn't go out to 'investigate'. So yeah, empathy weather. Today it's a bit cooler, but warming up again. Sort of unstable.

I don''t think anyone got hurt. Hope not.

But am still shaking my head over the reporting there.

Just one more thing about Irene, and will give it a rest

Am I worried? Of course I am. I have fambly up and down the Eastern seaboard, so of COURSE I worry. But I can't BE there.

What has riled me is the reporting, and the vapid minds behind what 'they' think is news.

Looming natural disasters are frightening, say what one wishes. And you 'hope' your loved ones get through them somehow in one piece. That is a no-brainer.

What galls me is that one demographic seems to be more important to the media than others, hence this frantic fear-making. They are afraid for themselves.

And some demographics don't count as much as others. I will NEVER forget how shabbily Katrina was handled, not even in the international news. And am not minimising the potential that Irene is gonna wreak. But it will hopefully be more structural damage than costing human lives.

I find that to be a double standard. And of course, there's suddenly fear and loathing in D.C., because They are threatened, and of course, THEY are ''entitled' somehow, fearing that their cushy life might hit a speed bump. And 'their' lives are somehow 'worth' more.

And New Yawk isn't any better, no matter what the political stripe is. They're 'better', after all.... Or think so.

I miss practicality. Targeting people who are really in danger, and giving guidelines, and letting them know how to protect themselves.

My gawwd... When the fall-out from Tschernobyl hit us, it was calm, and on the radio, and there wasn't MUCH you could do, but the government hit the ground running. They weren't going to let us eat anything contaminated, and they did a lot in a hopeless situation.

NOLA? Katrina? They let people drown in the water and their own excrement for a week. It should be a mark of national shame. And no, those people weren't 'entitled'. So much the worse for them.

As above... all I wish for is the practical. And good organisation. If this one goes wrong..... again... it won't be pretty.

But high-heeled rubber boots? That's an answer?

Some people deserve what they get for being vain.

Where is 'common sense'? Did they lobotimise the country and just let people become sheeple?

Yes, it bothers me, and I worry. Shoot me.

And oh yes, about that spreading fear of a tsunami?

If the quake in Virginia had engendered one, which it couldn't being way inland... the waves would have gone OUTWARD, and not have them come inland, which anyone with an ounce of science education should actually KNOW.

Crazy Eyes Bachmann wants to eradicate the Dept of Edu(ma)cation? I don't think she has to worry... mission accomplished. The Dunderheads in the media have proven just how stupid they are. And she is a piece of work, for sure.

Just sayin'...

These people are going to give me an ulcer... only I don't know which will come first... one in the brain, or one in my stomach lining, and probably the latter, as I throw up a lot.

Yes it looks awesome

from the International Space Station. This from Yahoo, and everyone in Germany is freaking out over it too.
It's one hell of a storm.... but the real focus should be on the Carolinas and up to Maryland.

Yahoos will be Yahoos... and am channeling Jonathan Swift here... Disgusting reporting.

ohhh...my.... gawwd... INSIPID!

Checked the 'up to the minute' news on CBS news regarding hurricane Irene. If you want some new cavities in your brain otherwise caused by diabetes.... this called for an eye-wash, and the most unforgiveable panic-making I've seen since I don't know when.

And let me tell you, they NEVAH reported like this when Katrina was approaching NOLA. Only the national weather service did diligent duty.

After making the East Coast the laughing stock of the US for Californians after the earthquake a few days ago, the media decided to go all 'fear-making' for the Northeast. Which is ridiculous. Surely, there have been once-in-a-century hurricanes which reached the Northeast, and did some significant structural damage... da Ven remembers one, and the river swelled and went right up to the main street up a steep hill... and knocked out footbridges over the river between mills. It was a one time thing.

HE was just a kid, and went out to 'enjoy' the wild weather. I hope he behaves himself this weekend. He's an hour's drive inland, and lives on a high hill. And before he goes and pooh-poohs my delivering a Ukas telling him to stay indoors... well that is what he commanded me to do when a cat 1 hit us when I was a teen.. Take a lesson, Dad. You didn't let ME go meandering about, now didja.

Am more concerned for my cousins who live only a few miles inland from the coast. That won't be good, even if it is a Cat 1.

All the rest of the reporting was 'instilling fear' and they do it so well. With a fluff piece about NY 'fashionistas' buying rubber boots with high heels at two hundred dollars a pop.

I threw up in my mouf.

Typical journaille.

Crazy reporting

Olberman had a field day with the media's handling of the earthquake, and especially got a belly laugh that virtually every network blew themselves up to pompous proportions and solemnly assured everyone there was no danger of a tsunami.

Reallah.... Seeing that the epicenter was well inland, why would anyone think... oh well, I don't wanna go there.

And of course, the Rethugs bitched about Obama being on vacation and golfing when it hit. If he'd been in the White House, they probably would have claimed he took refuge in some sub-level high-security dungeon, or something... wouldn't put it past them, the suckas...

But my belly laugh of the evening came late evenings here. I called up my Soap, and there is this real villainess in it named Dorian... who is leaving the show, and her story-line is that she's going to become a Senator.

Right below the screen was the 'best comment of the day', highlighted. It read: 'Do you think Dorian did it?'

That had me roaring with laughter. I loved the light-hearted snarkiness behind that.

Na ja, 'chacun a son gout'. (sorry, don't have the French signs for that one on the keyboard.

Infrastructure....

At least another view on the earthquake.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Serkan Kaya

That is the name of a guy, and assume it is turkish. He happens to be the best Elisabeth assassin of any I've seen, and unfortunately, I never saw him live... the others were good, but this guy... he is... amazing. You can tell how he just lives the role, and has a terrific time doing it.

I once attended a Styriarte concert that had to do with Turkish music and how it was destroyed by Europeans because they don't have 'the ear' to discern it. It was funny, and instructive, and very interesting. In their music, every note has twelve variations. I could 'hear' how he uses that to tremendous effect, which makes him the best Luigi Luccheni EVAH. He's lascivious, he's the needle pricking the balloon in the 'fairy tale' myth. After a fairly romantic first act, he opens the second.

I tried to always get seats near where he would appear for my cousins, in the hope that he'd throw them a souvenir card. He starts with trying to sell devotional souvenirs. Sisi (elisabeth) in the chapel, at Christmas, and so on. Didn't happen. The text is sarcastic, mean, but true enough. The text is sort of, 'You think you know what she was like and made her an icon, but neither text-book nor history will tell you what she was like. You've cemented her memory into some sort of shrine.' She's been 'in' for over one hundred years, and what remains? KITSCH. And later, 'Let me tell you something, (in that nyah nyah sort of tone) 'she was a dirty egoist...' (brilliant how he bent those notes)... she fought against (queen mother ) Sophie only to prove she was the stronger one.... One only hears what one wants to hear of dream and reality, and all that remains, It's kitsch, just kitsch... kitsch.

Serkan rules.

And if you are interested in women who emancipated themselves way before there was any idea of that.. I would recommend the biography by Brigitte Hamman. It revolutionised and debunked the Sisi myths spawned by the local film industry with the insidious Romy Schneider films. Our version of the Disney princess films...

What left me spitless....

Yes just one clip more. Go to about 6:50 on this to see what I mean. The beginning is a beautiful ballad, but go to the 6:50 mark... just click on the red line at the bottom of the clip. This scene was changed dramatically in the second run, because it was probably too dangerous. And you really can't see in the video how AWESOME it is in both versions. It's 'just' a jump ahead in time, and explaining how things are changing, a dynasty and world dying out. And that beam where Death is singing is about 20 feet above the stage. In the version we saw, the entire ruddy stage started to rise. With everyone on it. And Luigi Luccheni, Elisabeth's anarchist assassin was explaining who died in the meanwhile, like Maximillian being executed in Mexico, and other rulers of that world, mostly done with lighting effects. The thing is, the stage separated, and everyone was dancing on them, and the parts tilted downward, and it looked like falling dominoes. The first time I saw that, my mouth went dry and I was afraid to look, yet couldn't take my eyes off the stage. Then the stage went back together, and folded up in half, where the actors fell into the fold, and ZOOMED down into the grave, way beneath the stage level, to the 'grave'. That happens in the dvd as well, but not exactly as the first version was.

The show is a triangle... Elisabeth's love for Death, and Luigi Luccheni blowing up the myths of what had become a 'fairy tale'. Very effective.

In the newer version, it's a ship and is still way the fug up above the stage, and becomes a ship... with Franz Josef tanking the empire, and the dead going into the grave behind him. Makes sense, but the first was really awe-inspiring.

The camera angles were very disappointing on the dvd. Seeing it in real, well it knocked MY socks off....

For Annti: I translated what that ballad before hand is. It's pretty.

I especially like the line 'belief is not enough'. How true.

Franz Josef begs his wife to come back to him. And she says,

'They say that love can heal all wounds... Belief is strong, but sometimes belief is self-deception. We wanted miracles, but they never came to be. It's finally time for us to admit to ourselves.....

We're like to boats passing in the night. Each has it's own destination, and it's own freight. We meet each other on the sea, and parting hurts us so much, but what remains doesn't lie in our power to change.

Franz Josef': 'You want everything, but sometimes is a little very much.'

Elisabeth: 'Your dream is much to small.'

FJ: 'To be close to another in the dark, is that such a poor goal to aspire to?'

Elisabeth: 'I will not be your shadow.'

Both: If only you could see through my eyes, you wouldn't misunderstand me.

The rest is repetition of what is before. And ends with him saying I love you, Understand me, I need you, I love you... etc. etc.

What can not be, will never be.

Good memories this a.m.

Elisabeth, the musical is on YouTube. The picture is small, but it was fun to see the comments below the segments. I'm only posting the clip below because the director, Harry Kupfer was so brilliant. The relevant scene is the first one of the segment. In less than three minutes he depicts the rise of antisemitism and that evolving into what became the Nazi movement. There is much racism in the text, and echoes of things you hear today in the US... how socialists and communists are dirt who will be crushed. What it had to do with the Empress Elisabeth? She loved the poet Heinrich Heine, who was defamed because he was Jewish. The second song is her writing poetry, trying to call up his ghost, but only her deceased father answers and tries to get her back to taking part in life again, but she is too bitter. The third is one of my favorite songs, Rudolph pleading with his mother to intervene with the Emperor on his behalf. It's called 'If I were your mirror'. He has been rejected by her, and in the end, she rejects him, saying 'I won't ask anything of him for myself, and I won't intercede for you.'

But as above, the first thing is the one that took my breath away, it was so brilliant in the staging. 'Hate and Violence'. Despite my explaining it every time, my cousin L was always amazed at the dead silence in the theater every time she saw it. The first time, she wanted to applaud, and I grabbed her arm and hissed 'Don't you dare!' in her ear. That number held up a mirror to local society that made them uncomfortable and ashamed. And yes, it was brilliantly staged.

So you can take a look.

An afterthought to below...

Recent Horrowoord movies and series always had things I didn't understand in them. Well-to-do people sending their kids to 'Princess Parties'. And I thought, what the hell is THAT, for Chrissakes? I never made the connection till I saw the boards on the Disney stuff this weekend.

It isn't enough for some people to buy in to the whole Disneyfication of 'one day your prince will come' shit, they encourage their little girls by having Princess Parties?

THAT is .... just sick. I thought it was just something to make a little girl feel special, but if you feed them with the so-called princess movies.... you are going to create one neurotic grown woman who is going to have expectations believing 'if you dream it, it comes true'...

And just reinforces my contention that those films are poison for children.

That grown adults who are probably disappointed reinforce that expectation in their children is twisted, and damaging, and counter to everything they should be doing. Teaching their little girls that they can acheive anything they want. And they should be kept away from those films.

Gaaaawwwwd... Princess parties. Can we say 'barf'. I'd have them up on criminal influence, if there were such a thing, and Disney banned and closed down for ruining generations of children.

Weekend catch-up

Since what I normally watch on weekends is currently repeats of what I've already seen, my YouTube list had recommendations on one channel, and something caught my eye: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

I thought I'd look in for a few minutes. And realised, I didn't remember over 80 percent of the film! Turns out there wasn't that much to remember. But the richness of the artwork, painted frame for frame made it worth watching. I think I'd last seen it when I was fifteen.

The comment boards beneath the segments were eye-opening. I got a kick out of someone saying they'd seen it when they were six and now were so glad to watch again at 14 years old. What could I say? I liked seeing it when I was eight and was still sort of interested at age 61? I must say, Disney indocrination has spanned literally many generations.

Another disturbing trend concerns how many people are fascinated with what they call 'the princess films'. So unhealthy, 'waiting for prince charming', so unrealistic, so damaging in the long run. I later caught 'The Little Mermaid' for the first time, and that has to be the worst messaging of the lot. Only with the patriarchal blessing can Arielle unite with her (dull) prince... and assumingly propagate. (All the princes are dull, btw.)

The more comments I read, the more I wondered how many women's lives these films ruined. Engendering expectations which will never be fulfilled. I can understand why some people think they are pure poison, and I really don't think they are suitable viewing for children. Unless parents take them aside and give them a bit of a reality check.

As an adult, if you overlook the brain-washing, the films are clever, and yes, entertaining, and creative. And the old stuff is beautiful as far as the art work goes. But they really aren't for children.

My second choice was the 1940 'Pinocchio', which I didn't particularly like as a child, having read the unexpurgated version beforehand. (Yes Preciousess, even back in the Fifties, the libraries only had sanitised versions of Grimm's Fairy Tales, I only learned how brutal they really were when I was a young adult.) I'd never seen it since, and found I remembered some of it, but a lot had been forgotten as well. The film focuses on three episodes of what was a long and harrowing but funny journey in the novel. And Jiminy Cricket was bosh. In the novel, the cricket was sort of a conscience in the first episodes, but Pinocchio crushes it to death. Yeah, dark stuff. The film had more than it's share of creepy stuff, seen from an adult perspective. Stromboli as gypsy is a confirmation that all gypsies cheat and steal, and won't stop at violence. Not very pc. More on that below. More disconcerting was the Pleasure Island sequence, which has some disturbing sub-text revealing a thinly veiled pedophile component. It made me uncomfortable. On the surface, the message was 'go to school, be good, and you will be rewarded. Or not, and become a jackass.' Which is fine and good, but it made misbehaving look like too much fun, and everything kept being forgiven, so where's the sense in it all, I wondered.

Later I picked out some things I had never gotten around to seeing, later films. Beginning with the so-called Disney Renaissance. I had never seen 'The Lion King'. I just knew all the raves, and how it was sort of a new classic. Am sorry to report that it left me FULLY cold, and would never want to see the stage version. The only thing that didn't bore me about it was Scar, and that was only due to the voice... and that character was so gay and so bad.... well, it made me smile. So what was the lesson regarding him? Gays are fratricidal murderers who usurp power and ruin the kingdom. Great lesson there, n'est-ce pas? No, I can't say I really liked anything about it, which will be anathema to fans who think it was the best invention since chocolate ice cream.

I've already seen Beauty and the Beast on dvd, and on stage, so I really didn't care to go there. Nice music scoring, but again, the prince is dumb, and Belle is sort of insipid. So I picked 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame', and could have seen it in Berlin, where it had its' world premiere, but after the former, I just wasn't tempted to be subjected to a three-hour evening of treacle.

The film was obviously way more geared to it being produced as a musical afterward, and it shows. The score is opulent, the lyrics more geared to an adult audience, and it was moving at times. In this one, the gypsies steal to live, but are 'noble', because they are fighting tyranny.

I don't know if this was an attempt to counter the evil depiction of gypsies in Pinochhio, but I expect it was the case, and it fails in the end, actually. And has a precedent. Little people in England were up in arms about the depiction of a duplicitous midget manicurist in David Copperfield and felt defamed. And the Jewish population were livid when it came to Fagin in Oliver Twist, 'that avaricious old Jew'... In his last novel many years later, he tried to assuage that anger with two characters in 'Our Mutual Friend'. In the form of a tiny doll-maker with a drunken father who regards him as her child, and worse yet, Riah, a teacher soooo good, and sooo above reproach, well both became caricatures, not rounded out figures. Failed miserably, although the main characters were pure genious. So in the case of 'Hunchback', it was also too much of a good thing.

But Hunchback really is the best of the so-called 'Renaisance movies'. The only one I'd want to see again just for the music alone. And the incredible sexual tension among the main four characters. It is really NOT for children. And sort of over the edge for what Disney usually finds appropriate, although they always managed to slip in a wink or two to the parents accompanying their brood to see their product.

The only two films I'd recommend for kids is 101 Dalmations, the animated version... and from the 'forgotten era', 1973's 'Robin Hood. Disney should re-release that this year for sure... because the messaging so fits today's realities. A lot of commentors were of the same opinion. And interestingly, one commentor maintains that Robin Hood is the only Disney film with no character representation in their theme parks. Hmmmm. If it is true, that says a lot. Of course it's all 'tax the poor', but it's very funny. And as one commentator said, 'We need a Friar Tuck... before he got arrested.' Sir Peter Ustinov as the infantile King John, and Terry Thomas' delightful Sir Hiss (he's a snake) make for fun villains, because they are basically dumb, and Miss Cluck doing a medieval football touch-down is one of the funniest numbers in anything the studio made. Oh those rhinos! (I was working at the time, and the kids just loved it.) I loved the comment from a 15 year old who had never seen it before, was crazy about it, and added, 'you can't beat Old Disney films.' Gawwd, the shock. Roger Miller's music really fit that film as well.

And oh yes, 'Lady and the Tramp' is still lovely, although the up-town-and-wrong-side-of-the-tracks theme still grates a lot. But at least it isn't a princess movie. And Tramp is smart and fun.

For stoners, I would add 'The Little Mermaid' to the obvious Fantasia and Alice in Wonderland as must-see. (No, didn't go back there, have seen them too often.) When I was working, the evening shows of the latter two were packed with young adults so high you could get off on just breathing. And they were crazy for them. The Little Mermaid is optically so nuts, I was sort of out of it stone cold sober. Or maybe od-ing on the visuals. But yeah, the message was shit.

Let's see, favourite characters? Yes, I have them. The mice and the evil cat Lucifer in Cinderella, and the film was more about them than anything else. Malifecent in Sleeping Beauty, which was the only thing that saved that otherwise boring film. As one person put it, 'Boy, she's pretty out there just because she wasn't invited to a party....' And, of course, Cruella de Ville. If they're going to be bad, they should be really bad. And that criminal justice guy in Hunchback.... ooooo, talk about twisted and sexually fucked up. Best villain evah.

Aladin and Tarzan rightly belong in the 'forgotten' category, by the way. That genie in the former cost me my last nerve. So does Pocahontas. I made it through two of seven segments, and was throwing up a little in my mouf. So I stopped.

One last thing, now that I've bored you out of your tits. Gerhard Brunner was right. I loved his radio show. He'd analyse music, and musicals, bring you up to date on what was new in New York and London, and was very savvy. One evening he discussed the Disney strategy in scoring their films. It was his contention that they purposely used music styles that were a generation older than what was current, and for the older ones, that seems to really hold up. The thinking was, if the adults have to take the kiddies to see their product, the music should be what they related to. And I believe they held to that recipe for decades, after my lengthy sojourn into that world of Disney animation.

The oldest are the best, I guess. Twisted, weird, but they rarely topped themselves after.

So after two days of getting rectangular eyes, and a catch-up of lots I hadn't seen.. I will just go to bed and hope that the new cavities in my brain heal up after so much treacle.

The tee shirt punking...

Rachel brought it Monday nite....

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

While Annti is seemingly freaking out

must read that later.... so am I.

I finally got in touch with Hans. I'd brought up his name, last visit, and asked Peter if he would like him to visit. He perked right up, and I thought 'no time better than now, when he still knows who he is...'


I'd looked him up on the internets telephone book but whaddaya know... NA. They were probably on a vacation, this being the classic month.

Hans was Peter's neighbor where he lived while his mother was alive and dying, and he was taking care of her. He used to call him Godzilla, because he was into body-building. They are close in age. And I would hear all the stories about him and his weird Jehovah Witness wife, who ... the last time the wurrld was ending, quit her tenured bank job, cashed in their joint bank accoumts, and went to the local temple--and it NEVER HAPPENED, we are all still here, for good or evil. (Why did she think money would be any good to her in that situation, huh?) It was tragic. And how the hell he ever stood all that? He said it was to protect his children.

And you know what pisses me off even today? I ALWAYS presented Peter to my friends and , I ALWAYS was proud to show my friends and family to him and say, 'hey, this guy lurvs me.'

It took him over twenty-five to invite him to our house! I was astounded.

Hans is a very nice man and always visited Peter when I wasn't aware, when he was in hospital... he always KNEW and cared... as a friend. So I've only seen him twice in my life. Typical Austrian, loves his motorcycle to get away from all HIS shit, has a lovely dog, who is so affectionate. And when he was in the Mühlgasse, I went to the kitchen, and let them talk. But I instinctively liked him.

What did Peter think I would do, jump his bones? Yes, he's attractive......

Actually, he reminded me of the 'spouse' of my friend Mark... so rough-edged, so real... he was someone I just liked, because it did Peter good, and I wanted Peter OUT of his remaining closet.

The phone call was a revelation. I identified myself... and he said, 'Oh yes, Peter's told me so much about you.' And I'll never know WHAT.

I told him he was in Gamlitz, and some background. He said, 'I know, I went to Buchenweg and he was gone, so I went to the social services rental place to find out where.'

THAT is what true friends do. They don't just let them slip out of sight.

I said I knew Peter would like him to visit. But warned him not to wear him out... visits are very tiring because he still tries to hold it together.

He says he wants to take me with him to visit when he goes down there and first I said, 'NO!' Reflex. But then I said yes.

The rest was awkward. It will be short notice, he said.

Well I'm an early pensioner-.... I have nothing but TIME.-..

Blast Peter for putting me in the realm of 'Awkward'.

On a more somber note... I HAVE been brooding...

Yes, as below, sometimes you need a few hours to blow off steam in your own way, and killing werewolves in a game is somewhat beneficial, as far as I'm concerned.

However... I read this article in a major paper, and my reaction was yada, yada, tell me something I didn't know!

August fifth marked the 30th anniversary of the beginning of the destruction of the middle class in the US when 'St. Reagan' fired the FAA traffic controllers to break their union.

I have vivid memories of that time, living in a tiny room in a 'Pension'. Which is what used to be an inn, I guess, long ago. And when Reagan came into power, it was a time I would get up mornings to take the tram into town to work, get my smokes and buy the International Herold Tribune, a co-project produced by the New York Times and the Washington Post. It averaged eight pages... four of which were stock market listings. (This was before the age of pc's and cells, and so it moved slower...)

The paper was expensive, but it was just enough info to read and scan till I got to work, and that rag really IS a 'piece of work'. One day, for instance, there was a terrible piece on my chosen city where I live. It painted the town as dark, and Nazis were hiding out in dark doorways, and every cliché you can imagine was in there to put a blot on where I live. And I was LIVID.

(I did take care of it.... I happened to know the press secretary of the workers guild, and before I went into work across the street, I slammed it down on his desk, and yelled, 'This is DISGUSTING, who thinks these things UP?' And he said, 'I'll get to the bottom of it.' And he did. Turns out it was a US opera singer who was very unhappy to be here, and a veritable harpy, I suppose. Her husband was a 'journamalist', so he wrote it because she wasn't getting the roles she wanted. See how that works? Oi! They fired her, and so in the background, it was a scandal, and I'm pretty sure it did nothing for her 'career'. Even then.... there were some evil Rethugs abroad in the land. And I'm sure that bubble-head never dreamed anyone would READ it, let alone do anything about it.)

It was the beginning of what I call the US New Roman phase, although I didn't see it that way at the time.

What REALLY worried me at the time was how fast Reagan was moving to dissolve the social net that kept the poorest above water, and within the first six months of his presidency... well, it took my breath away. Three times a week, I'd catch my breath, reading on the tram and say, 'How can they DO that?'

And the vast public just took it. And I would say to my friends back then, 'I don't know, you can't GIVE benefits to people and just take them away without them standing up and fighting against that.... What the hell is wrong with them? Have they got their heads up their asses?'

I expected demonstrations back then. People on the streets, organising. Nada. And at the time, I shook my head, and said, 'Good gawwd, it's like they'be been brainwashed.' George Bush took it to the max, screening people to listen to him, putting people in Boston behind barbed wire... now THAT was a nice image... how democratic.

Yeah, I was pretty passionate about it.

Reagan's era was a time when there could have been a push-back and things wouldn't have progressed to what we see today.

I just shrugged it off at the time. If they were gonna be so passive, I thought they might wake up when the measures taken began to hurt.

But no, it was a perfect brain-washing. And they used a creeping encroachment on rights, on social services, and NOW? They have an oligarchy, not a democracy. And people who take the D word into their mouths should be ashamed. Less than half the country doesn't vote, and they are usually the ones who complain the loudest.

How NICE to have docile little sheep who think that they can't change anything and just pay and pay, and sacrifice. How totally barf-making.

And how ironic is it that Wisconsin, which was the leader in giving the rest of the US things everyone takes for granted... like a WEEKEND, for instance.... is the first state to get stripped of everything generations before the current one fought for?

As the man wrote, there USED to be a time when the head of a middle class household had a home, and enough to put his kids through college, and take vacations... it was the American Dream. And when Reagan came in, it was the beginning of the end, but not just for the US.

Creeping encroachement, I call it. 'Murka is a role model for a certain type of employer here. When I first came here? You had more than two hours for lunch, and the town shut down. I've written about it before. Now? My last job? You were 'entitled' to a half-hour... whenever it was 'expedient' to take it, 'speak', business was slow enough for you to gulp 'something' down, and go on with work.

The union, especially in our branch was so spineless, well words fail, and we got the brunt of the bad stuff... and as over there.... it sneaked up on us in increments, very small, but in the long run.... hurt financially.

And no one is waking up here either... yet.

Those riots in England? They brought it on themselves', and it makes me LAUGH when I hear about 'oh, the MATERIAL damage', hey. Well how about THEM cutting social services to the bone till people don't know what the fuck the next move is so they can get on their feet, huh? Yeah, according to Faux News, they're just too lazy and want to loot stores and get flat-screen tee-vees. I really don't think it is about that at all... they have no prospects for a future, and the oligarchy wants it that way. And oh yeah, the US is sending over 'experts' to quell the riots, and pour oil on the water... or something like that. Uh-huh.

Which brings me to the current 'journaille'. (Journamalists+canaille)....

I do post a lot of things from MSNBC here, with thanks that I don't get slapped with some copywright charge... and watch it on the internets... but they expressly let you embed them.

Now I don't know if you've ever watched anything they produce on-line... you get a nice screen, and the player which is sort of fucked up.... in that it stalls between blocks of the shows, and you have to refresh.

And between the blocks, there is an ad. One ad. Sometimes you can choose which ad you want to see, and I choose the one that is fifteen seconds long, not a full minute. It gets to be a science, you know?

But recently, the advertisers really drive me to distraction. Yeah, I GET like that, if only inwardly.

Especially the ones from Goldman Sachs, Mobil Exxon, and Chevron. They are all geared to telling you how much 'Good' they are doing in 'Murka. And have the unmitigated GALL to tout how much they are helping New Orleans rebuild, or how they are funding AP classes to teach advanced science and math to kids... and by the way, the US ranks 25th in both in edumacation....

Goldman Sachs was responsible for the housing crisis and near failure of the US economy, and tanked Greece, which caused the crisis in the EU... probably to shore up the dollar against the Euro.

The ads drive me crazy because they are so disingenuous.

If they are pouring their advertising dollars into a so-called liberal station... what are they GETTING for it, is my question.

How much slant gets bought?

August is traditionally 'silly season' in the news, so am not willing to be judgemental at the moment. Except... I can't stand 'Morning Joe' any more, never liked it in the first place. If I have to hear Scarborough's braying jackass voice again it would be too soon. And that simpering 'entitled' 'Dem' Mika Brzinski should be ashamed of herself. And get over herself. He beats on her verbally, and she plays the coy damsel, and she's too old for it. Thinks she made a mark in the business because she demanded equal pay. And that was the bottom line. Intellectually impovershed, or she has no right to say what she REALLY thinks. While he bloviates till you could throw up.

And her... 'OH, I really LIKE governor Norquist!'

(REALLY, darlin'? Go get yourself a toy from the nearest sex shop while you still can, am sure it would be more satisfying... I hate disingenousness.. But hey, she KNOWS people who are movers and shakers. And probably sucks up to them.)

And as to subsidising, here's a kicker for you. Our opera and theater now have productions paid for by banks, energy companies, and such like. Yup, here in Austra.... They used to be kick-ass, and really innovative, but for the last ten years? Things the locals like and don't have to THINK about... Sugar coated pills. And theater can be very political, believe me.

It still isn't as bad as it is there, but how much sedation do WE need from the global companies so as not to say 'enough'?

You can TRY to run away from corporations.... and I had a good twenty five years where I thought I HAD... but in the end.... you can't run far enough, believe me.

So yeah, I've had other things on my mind for quite a while now.

So sue me.

I just adopted a baby.... dragon

and sometimes I think I'm losing it...

Yeah, I read all the news I wanted to read, and went back to my game. Doing it on-line is always 'eventful'. I got 'invited' to take part in a 'chaos battle'. And thought, 'ho-kay, why not?' Only I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing in it... And all these on-line people were teleporting into the screen and running every which way, and I didn't know what the hell it was about.

And it was in a quadrant I hadn't been in before, so, it was unfamiliar territory. Turns out everyone was to rescue a princess, and free her of a spell, shades of 'Snow White', or something.

I didn't see the sense in running about so I checked the map and found I had something to do in town. So I went there to talk to an archeologist. And he said I had a dragon egg in my inventory, and hatched it to be my companion.

It looked like a salamander.

So later, there was the 'cutest' little dragon-ling on my shoulder flying after me wherever I went if I am outside of town on a quest. Of course I had to name him 'Norbert'. If you've seen the first Harry Potter film, you'll get it. The gameskeeper Hagrid is crazy for mean animals, hatches a dragon egg, and names him that.

I'm sure he won't stay that way, and he only likes me 50%, according to the stats, so I have to take good care of him.

So I took the little guy out hunting werewolves for a hunter. Gives me good points and helps me level up.

It was when I started talking to the screen while fighting and telling him to get up out of the way 'while daddy works' that I thought, 'This is not rational, and this is not healthy.' So am taking a break.

There is a narrative involved, and you can get into the story. I think they stole everything from every adventure/romance novel ever written. Graphics are very good, and there is much to keep you busy, if only out of wanting to make the next level, and see what develops next.

There are at least two live special events a day, and you can interact with other players, if you so wish.

Sometimes things happen that are startling and new, so it never gets monotonous.

So now I've outed myself.... I have a very odd sense of 'fun'. It sure beats brooding. Am curious to see how Norbert develops. He'll probably kill me in the long run....

If you have time, you could probably try it out. I think there is an english version of it, but you need a flat-rate. It's called 'Last Chaos'. And is definitely weird. But don't berate me or I'll sic Norbert on ya.

Ahh, hypocrisy...

If this were only a single story, it wouldn't be worth commenting on at all. But especially in Rethug land, it just happens over and over and over... and most of them still end up being seen as 'respectable'.

I hadn't known that 80 dollars is a going rate in 2011. I shudder to think what it was in the Seventies.

I'd feel sorry for this fuck-up.... if he weren't in legislature and passes laws that are actually against his own best interests. And I love the last line in that... oh, the self-righteous indignation. Yeah, your life is ruined, Mister.... but it already was because you were living a lie all your life. I wouldn't call that something easy to do.

As to the aesthetics.... well if the man in that picture looks like that... and I were eighteen... I'd have run away. Fast.

You can read the salacious details here. Rethugs---- sometimes I think they INVENTED hypocrisy, but no, it's always been around. However, they do seem to have it honed down to a fucking art form nowadays....

Laws with terrible consequences...

This was up yesterday, but stuck with me. Because it shows what happens when bigots force laws which only enforce their narrow views, and cause a lot of suffering elsewhere. And exactly how, please, is this 'defending marriage'?

I was trying to think of what would have happened if Peter had decided we would live stateside, and became ill, as he did here. Is that what things would have looked like? (Not that we ever considered it, it was a no-brainer.)

My heart went out to those two men in the clip. It's worth the few minutes.

Ok, I kept quiet....

a few weeks ago when I read they were opening an Arnold Schwarzenegger museum in the house he was born in outside of town. Well we already had that in the stadium that was named after him for a short time, and it was closed due to disinterest and few visitors. I gleefully read that the artifacts landed in a barn somewhere in Rumania. Dusted off my hands, thought... 'justice done'. But no, they are baaaack, Preciouses. And they are going to show his governor's desk, and Hoororwood pictures, why it's gonna be just dandy. And there will be a life-sized statue outside, just to make sure that everyone gets the point: he IS somebody... or something of the sort.

And yes, I kept quiet. I gagged a bit, but why get someone upset, you know?

The fact has always been that most people thought and still think he is a joke, but there is a circle of sycophants who would like nothing better than to be his personal lower intestinal acrobat and make him feel good.

So I wrote nothing about it.

However.... after a nice evening of playing my game on line and getting my figure up to level 14... which was a lot of work, chasing werewolves, and sasquatches, and the like... I finally called it a night, and opened my browser, which starts with my mail and has headlines and news in german.

And the main news story was about Ahnuld and his wife. 'Can they find their way back to getting together?' the headline screamed. And that DID it for me. How idiotic ARE the 'journaille'... a bastardised word compressing 'journalist' and 'canaille'. Sleazy, but it fits, hey.

Who the fuck cares, and why would anyone want to know?

It's their business. And his wife----well she must have known what an uneducated and crass lout he is...

Why bother people with it? Are their lives so uninteresting they can only live vicariously?

The only good thing about Ahnuld is that he inadverdantly helped me find the best friend I have. Because we both detest him.

Talk about irritating....

Love this for the take on the NY Post

at the end....

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

This is subversive....

I wonder how many will do as Colbert asks....

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Just an afterthought....

Wouldn't it be fun to do tee-shirts like that and encourage Rethugs to defect? The thought made me smile.

Cool news of the day....

There was a big heavy metal rock concert in Germany recently, which attracts a lot of right-wing neo-nazi elements. Tee-shirts were given away for free with the sort of logos Neo-nazis love. But once home and after the first washing, they were in for a surprise. The logo was gone, and what remained was the slogan 'You can do what your tee-shirt did.' And gave the name of an organisation that helps unsusupecting little neo-jerks get out of what they call the 'szene'. It was a trending subject on Yahoo Germany this morning. Some sites are already giving away the 'sneakret' of how to do something similar yourself at home.

That was interesting. The Exit organisation isn't expecting many people to contact them, but wanted to be present in the minds of those who were having doubts and want to get out of the groups.

The link is here, but could only find ones that are in German.

More trivia....

Monday, the mostly senior citizens who watch One Life to Live had been feverishly awaiting that episode especially.

Because, you see, there is a real Todd, and imposter Todd, both of them villains. And after eight years, the real Todd has shown up, after being held as a renditioned prisoner in an undisclosed location somewhere, and it is all fairly weird and confusing.

So Monday night, 'The REVEAL' per dna testing results was to take place. And the fans on the comments boards had feverishly gotten through the weekend, having gone into to factions as to who the REAL one is, and who isn't. So they tuned in and am sure the rate of viewers was especially high.

EXCEPT... the first ten minutes were pre-empted so that Obama could explain what was going on in the stock markets. You. do. not. want. to. know. how some of the comments on that went. Especially since there are never re-runs, but for those who have internets.... they got the missing ten minutes today.

Suffice it to say a lot of people were royally pissed off.

And yeah, it is trivial.... but I don't think Obama needs to engender more resentment at present. Timing......

Hmmm gaming online

My dvd element was never alive... I think Peter killed it trying to watch porn on it or something, so I can't look at a lot of the neat stuff I collected or play my absolute FAVORITE, Baldur's Gate. It took me five years to get through the entire collection. Yeah, I'm slow like that. But there were five editions to get through, you see, and I loved it because it wasn't just killing monsters or anything... there was a hell of a lot to do. It's probably outdated now, but was innovative for the time. And time goes fast in the programming world.

So I was tired of my simple mah-jong game to pass time, although I like it enough. And my cribbage game went the way of the past as it was locked in Lazarus... So I went looking for something to play on-line that was free, and not too huge as far as Gigabites go. And chose something called 'Last Chaos'.

Good 3-D graphics, but no sound. But after spending an afternoon getting my bearings as to what you are supposed to DO... no real tutorials or guides, nah... they wanna get you involved with other people, you see. So you can sign up with expert players to help tutor you, if you wish. Nahhhh... I thought 'you either figure it out or you don't and delete it.'

So I chose a knight and named him Sir Arrogant Numbskull... having re-watched Bleak House recently, and figured that would keep unwanted requests to join a group, because I thought I could form a group with the computer figures.... but am seemingly wrong, so I have a rogue knight... and still got 'invited' out to play.

As pure neophyte, I really don't think Sir Arrogant N would be of much help to anyone. Except as cannon fodder.

Won't bore anyone, but some of the technical advances surprised me... Like seeing other players' avatars galloping past me on horseback.

And that is how the people who run it make money. You can win gold coins all over the place and buy upgrades on your armor and weapons.... but if you want the GOOD stuff... you have to go to their REAL shop and buy it with real money. Thus the horses, ponies, people with doggies, it's surreal, sort of.

Now there is now way I will pay out good money for that, but I can understand the principle of it. Sir Arrogant is just gonna haveta get used to running, and getting blisters on his feet till they harden up.

There are over three million people who are regisgtered players on it mostly in Europe, and you can chat live as well, if you wish, which I didn't. So you 'talk' to figures who give you quests to fulfill, which ups the experience level, and you just keep on going on, I guess. There's a mystery as to who the character is, because Sir A has amnesia, and no one has helped. Yet.... Very odd indeed.

Whatever, as long as it's in the freebie range, it's something to pass an afternoon with and fairly amusing.

Where did my life go? he asks...

My head is getting slow in retaining things

I read long ago. So I went looking for a specific quote on Google and only got an approximation that was more vague than mine. It had to do with Mark Twain in his travel report titled 'A Tramp Abroad'.

I used to have it in my files on my old pc, Lazarus, but he finally gave up the ghost for good one fine day. (For those who don't know, I named it that because for the last three years of its 'life', it would die, then inexplicably come back to life a few days later, just when I was going to give him up entirely. And no, I certainly had nothing to do with it.)

It can be downloaded for free on the Gutenberg Project, and it is very funny.

At any rate, it was about his 'hiking' through Germany, Switzerand and Italy... and the joke was they never hiked, and always rode somehow.

Now I enjoy opera, most sorts at any rate. But have NEVER been able to STAND Wagner. I don't understand the music, it was and still remains cacophony to me. And while in Nürnberg, Twain attended a Wagner opera. That report went on for a few pages, and he exaggerated so wildly, yet was so on target, it delighted me. I can't remember the entire thing, but there was a delicious bit about a soprano and a tenor duelling it out vocally, and to paraphrase, 'Just when I thought we were about to have a respite, the entire chorus stormed onto the stage, and I suffered the agony I went through the night the orphanage burned down.'

Am sure it isn't word-perfect exact, but close, am sure.

He must have liked something about them... maybe they were just an easy target for him, but there were several other reports he did... all of them hilarious.

Tja. I found a nice report here from 1891. It made me smile.

Otherwise the news is sort of non-existant today, and the Sunday things I usually watch only have repeats.

Nightmares can be so weird....

Had one toward waking-up that left me so frustrated, it stuck. I shouldn't have watched a 9 1/2 hour version of Bleak House yesterday before going to bed. In it, I was trying to kill Peter, who was all right with that... (!!??) With a gun, and he was laughing at me because I was asking which way to put the bullets in it. (As if they were batteries, or something...)

We were out in the garden, one unrecognisable to me. At first. And because I botched it, was looking for more bullets. When in marched an entire horde of senior citizens, drunk as skunks, because 'what they did' was trespass on people's private property and basically drive people crazy.

So I'm hollering and berating them, and detesting them because their northern German was so aggravating, trying to shoo them out of the house, and getting violent, and trying to find where Peter had gotten to so that I could finish him off and not have him suffer any more.

And as hard as I was trying to hit them and scream at them, my voice wasn't working right, and any hits aimed were just deflected. Felt so impotent against them and the Germans were getting bored, talking about moving on to the school down the street so they could denigrate and rip up the children's art on the walls.

And then I woke up, disoriented because it felt so real.

Says a lot about my state of mind these days, I guess. I could figure out where a lot of the elements came from, but didn't like what I rhymed out of it. Seems I have a lot of surpressed anger these days.... as well as feeling helpless. The Dickens dose must have done the rest. So many characters in that film die, it's always disconcerting to watch.

First news I saw this morning was that someone stole a million dollars from the Mark Twain House. They quoted his view on committing crime, which was amusing... you can read it here.

Well, in a week that began sort of 'meh'....

I got my arse over to the market, barely two hundred meters away from the house.

Oooo, progress.

And finally had a good 'ratsch' (talk) with Millie. She had some astounding news.... had taken a cruise to Scandinavia for her well-deserved vacation, something I've always wished to do. Fjörds, and peace and quiet, and lovely---until they went on land in Oslo, and she and her husband and friends were about five blocks away from the center when the bomb went off. Ear-splitting, and mayhem afterward. It shook her world. The police were so quick at cording off the area, she didn't see anything grisly, but it was more than enough for her.....

I told her she was lucky she hadn't. I still can't get that picture out of my head, being on the sixth floor balcony in Munich and seeing real terrorists herding tied-up Israeli wrestlers into helicopters as if they were so much cattle. I still dream about it sometimes. I don't think she'd have done well if she'd have seen the carnage on the scene. She was shaken as it was, hey.

And of COURSE she asked me about 'Da Ven' and what was he up to, she LURVES her some Ven stories. And drags customers into the conversation, telling them how awesome he is. So I told them how he got grounded due to heat conditions. 'Does he still drive?' a woman asked. 'Oh yeah... and he has a scooter to get his mail, only they grounded him.' 'Does he have a girlfriend?' 'Now and then...' 'Do you take after him?''

'Errrrmmmmm.... may have earlier in life...' (Her tone made me sort of wary, she was zafting and it sounded predatory... In my experience, you don't trust women named Monica...)

Hey, it's just standard dish if you're out on the market. So yes, fun. Of a sort.

When there weren't customers, I caught Millie up on the Peter news, and she was very understanding and nice. Her father recently died, had Alzheimer's, but seemingly wasn't a very nice man. But regarding what people go through as bystanders, it is always the same. Cuts to the quick.

I told her how I'd forgotten to leave the phone off-hook, and had a call on Tuesday. I should never have picked up. A friend. Whose husband tried to top himself off yet again in April. For the I don't know how many-eth time. He did it in the attic in our house, for instance, with an IV. He crashed a car purposely into an abuttment, and now he went and did something else again. You would 'THINK' that a doctor would know how to do that effectively... Hell, his sister took her father's service pistol and shot herself, for fuck's sake. Put the barrel in her mouth and shot her head off. I've never been able to wrap my head around that one.... EVAH. It's one thing if you're on your own, but with family? I find it hard to forgive, even if I understand...

But no, he puts his family through hell. I just didn't wanna know any more, I really didn't. Seemingly his wife D found something positive and encouraging I'd written him last year, tucked into his bills. And gave it to him while he was recovering. As if I could help, or something....

We've had a close if very loose bond over decades now, and are so similar, it gets creepy. Can enjoy things to the max... and go to the depths of despair so deep you never see any light.

So I wasn't 'surprised'. I was terribly saddened.

She had worse news for me. Their son is building his own home for his girlfriend, so the house in the south of town is going to be more or less empty. Their daughter has been long gone and on her own. So since they mostly live in Salzburg, where they have a condo, they are giving the Graz house up this fall... and moving into the Mühlgasse in October. They had bought a unit from Peter years ago and thought it might be for the kids. But no, it will be their pièd-a-terre when they are home visiting the kids. 'Our' home is currently being rented, and I didn't wanna know.

I told her there was NO WAY I would ever set foot in that house again when she said we'd be seeing one another more. NO WAY. She understood. Out on the square? Fine. There? Forget it. Maria M. still pops up in my nightmares, as harpy.

We understand way too much about one another, and it never requires having a lonnng talk. We both just know.

If I never see the K-F's again, it would be way too soon.

So Millie was very understanding... we can talk about everything under the sun, and I haven't anyone else who has been in on all the fun, the bad times, the despair, she knows all the characters in my personal drama.

And asked me about my cousins out of the blue today, especially about L. with whom she was very taken as 'what a lovely lady'. (So you see, D & L? Wherever you go, you leave an impression.) She was sorry to hear they wouldn't be visiting again.

And during the Peter part of our discourse, I mentioned that the youngest sister of my beloved step-mother was in a coma. Also Alzheimers. And said I probably knew what her three wonderful daughters must have been going through.

Hardly home after unloading this morning, 'da Ven' was in my in-box. My aunt passed away in the night over there. My aunt was the dearest, sweetest person I've ever met. She and her husband were the first to visit me, had hardly been here a year.

We met in Munich, so I was a TERROR... dragged them all over the place, showed them things a tour guide never would. And Salzburg, gawwd, did I give them the royal tour. Until, despite my enthusiasm, I saw they were just worn out. And developed a devious plan. Said we were going up a huge hill and get beer behind the church on one end of it. (Amis are NOT big on walking, believe me....) And as we were going up, my aunt planted her feet firmly on the ground and said, 'I am NOT going up there to look at another church!'

So I said, 'Trust me. We are going to get beer.' She went on, but she did NOT trust me, believe it. But she followed. And we came to a door in a building behind the church, and I said, 'come in', and it was a tiiiinnny corridor, with nothing in it. And there was another door, which led to a tiinnny corridor with nothing in it, but had a HUGE double door. And I opened one of the winged doors, and said, 'here's where we get a beer or anything else you like.'

And we were at the top of a HUGE flight of stairs, and we descended. Way down. Into a central hall with stands. Meat, cheese, whatever culinary delights you wished for. There was a rack of ceramic beer steins, but you had to take them to a trough, rinse them out, slide them down a counter, and there was a guy to fill it with their own brew of beer. And we took them with the snacks to one of the huge halls that opened off of the corridor... rough-hewn tables and hugely uncomfortable wooden banquettes. They were wide-eyed and looked like they'd gone to heaven.

My aunt said, 'You're not taking us anywhere ELSE, are you?' And I said, 'after a couple of those, I wouldn't be able to. Just enjoy.' 'And then they were in nirvana.

I 'could' have taken them in the back way, d0wn on the ground, but being the drama queen... well in my student days, we loved going up the mountain, and doing the whole grand entry thing, and my late friend John used to hum Handl's 'Water Music' when we marched down the stairs. I didn't do that with my Dad... his knees were hurting too much.

I last heard from my aunt when I had to move out of the Mühlgasse. She was very concerned, having heard so many reports from others in the family who had visited. And it was genuine, she was never judgemental. So she mailed me, expecting I would wail and bemoan, or something.

And I told her what her sister, my beloved step-mother had taught me... 'if you fall down, you brush yourself off, get the fuck up, and just go on.'

And no, I didn't use the 'f'' word.

Probably 'hell'.

And she replied 'Boy, you have a very unique way of looking at things.'

I assume it was a compliment.

I will miss her very much, from the heart.

She passed quietly, without pain. The pain will be with her family forever, and I KNOW... when Peter's time comes, I hope it will be the same.

I found a sneakret enclave

Every time someone on General Hospital gets an Emmy or some other award, they first thank God... which is absurd in itself. Or Jeebus, which is sort of jarring, and I really don't think either of them had any time to attend to their personal success... that is the epitome of selfishness. And generally disappointing.

gawwwwwwd....

Hmm.... Etna erupted again...8th time this year

Memory trigger! Peter took me to Taormina once for a week to celebrate his birfday... He was more than extravagant when it came to things like that. It isn't far from Mt. Etna. As in... within spitting distance. And while there, it sort of smoked lazily like someone enjoying a really good cigar outside a restaurant out on the street.

Wherever we went, it was there.... smokin' hot.

It sort of worried me at various times of the day, mostly because of the hotel we were in. It was built into a cliff over a cove, so of course I would think, 'if that thing erupts, there's gonna be an earthquake, and we are gonna slide into the sea.... at BEST...'

Don't get me wrong, it was idyllic, gorgeous tiled rooms with balconies looking down onto the cove, and birds I'd never imagined or seen before. The only problem with the hotel was that it was full of US tourists who were true 'Murkins. Loud can't define it. Ear-splitting oldies.

But I learned sneakrets. Like sitting on the café balcony while the oldies inside were discussing their remedies for digestive problems and what worked for them. Oblivious to the great beauty of the place. And why they never dress up abroad if they go to a cultural event. They were going to a concert or something and one exchange gave me the key to a massive mystery for me...

'You going out tonight?'

'Yes.'

'Are you dressing up?'

'No.'

'Why?'

'Because we're on vacation. ....... And we're not dolls!' My cappuccino flew out of my nose. Thank you Bubble-headed old Barbie and Ken.

Peter had always bugged me about why some US tourists went places looking rag-tag, taking back-packs to the Vienna State Opera, for instance. Hell, I'd worn a suit to watch the famous Salzburg marionette theater , and everyone was dressed formally for that. I hadn't known... So it was a revelation... or something. It became a huge joke with us... 'We're not dolls...' Uh-huh...

But when they were out on their day trips, the place was so quiet, and so beautiful, and would see steam pouring out of the ground less than a mile away, and look up, and there Etna was, smoking thoughtfully, or so I thought.

We had an incredible week there. I took a trip to Syracuse alone, because Peter had gotten a 24 hour bug. Guided tour. It was awesome. Met incredibly interesting people.

My favourite thing was to go up to the ruins of the amphitheater early in the morning which still had a proscenium, and through the arch, Etna was smoking away.

It felt like being transported back in time and into history.

The locals referred to it as 'the benevolent mountain', but seemed very wary of it.

I'd been to Pompeii years before, which was so impressive, I can't find the words. And Vesuvius was looming above it. Scientists are convinced that it might erupt again, although it has been dormant since the end of WWII. And are trying to get the people of 'New Pompeii' next door to sell their lands and leave. Which they refuse to do, because the farming land is so rich. Among other things...

I sampled orange juice from those places which knocked me out, and I HATE orange juice... or red wines that were so full, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Who would want to give up producing that, I ask you?

Let's face it... if Etna had erupted while I was there, I'd have been thrilled. Frightened, but thrilled. As long as I could live to tell about it...

As Mark Twain said after seeing an uncovered woman's face in palestine and realising he finally knew why the men there kiss... 'you have to travel to learn'. You can unlock secrets which have been a mystery to you. You can experience incredible things which go way beyond what you ever imagined.

But I DO know... I really wouldn't want to live near the foot of a volcano. Or on the San Andreas Fault, for that matter... I never understand why some people are so foolish that they re-build, and think it won't happen again. Cocked-up optimism???

Here's why...

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Sell-out! Bernie Sandees explains it all

Just disgusting.....

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Just a post--scriptum on below

The staff is still taking very good care of him. He told me he gets a haircut and a shave tomorrow, so I refrained from attacking him with his razor.

And I did not get harrassed by the office staff, and no one gave me 'the evils', but smiled and greeted me politely.

Which was good, I guess.

So yeah, I went to Gamliz....

Peter 'then' when we thought he was really ill.






Peter today. It was hard to get him to smile. His lips have a bluish tinge.. the heart, not enough oxygen, what do I know? So sad. The first hour or so, he really struggled to follow a conversation and I could see it was costing him. And we got on one topic, and he smiled and said, 'I'll have to ask Ren the next time he comes.' Fully took me aback, asked, 'What Ren?' And he smiled more and said, 'Why RenB, of course.'

..... 'Oh, well you DO that, ok? But you could ask me, you know.' And he gave me this odd smile.

That episode seemed to pass fairly quickly, and he knew who I was again. I hope. Seems he's been worried as much about me as I have about him. That's what he said at least.

Due to the connections, my time there usually runs three to three and a half hours, and it is too much for him. I'd have left earlier, I could tell he was exhausted just making the effort. But he didn't want to nap while I was there. And sort of was off in a daze, and looked so sad, it nearly killed me. I finally had to go and get my bus. I kissed him good-bye, and when I closed the door, he started crying.

My mood was like the sky, whereupon there was a downpour, and just made it to the shelter of the bus stop in time.

This takes a lot out of me as well, you know?