So yeah, I went to Gamliz....

Peter 'then' when we thought he was really ill.






Peter today. It was hard to get him to smile. His lips have a bluish tinge.. the heart, not enough oxygen, what do I know? So sad. The first hour or so, he really struggled to follow a conversation and I could see it was costing him. And we got on one topic, and he smiled and said, 'I'll have to ask Ren the next time he comes.' Fully took me aback, asked, 'What Ren?' And he smiled more and said, 'Why RenB, of course.'

..... 'Oh, well you DO that, ok? But you could ask me, you know.' And he gave me this odd smile.

That episode seemed to pass fairly quickly, and he knew who I was again. I hope. Seems he's been worried as much about me as I have about him. That's what he said at least.

Due to the connections, my time there usually runs three to three and a half hours, and it is too much for him. I'd have left earlier, I could tell he was exhausted just making the effort. But he didn't want to nap while I was there. And sort of was off in a daze, and looked so sad, it nearly killed me. I finally had to go and get my bus. I kissed him good-bye, and when I closed the door, he started crying.

My mood was like the sky, whereupon there was a downpour, and just made it to the shelter of the bus stop in time.

This takes a lot out of me as well, you know?