Ten days ago I caught the flu to end all flus.....

I don't know, maybe it is just because I am getting older, but ten days in bed? And someone just shoot me, hey.

And btw, I am NOT the sort of person who complains normally. But get me running high fevers, I go off the charts for being unacceptable. Grumpy, bad tempered, insulting. I get up in the middle of the night and go on the RAMpage, to quote Dickens. I write complaining e-mails, because I am miserable. So I thought better of writing here, you know? I might get a troll, or something. On the other hand I should have written something offensive, because I think I would have WELCOMED a troll, to tell the truth... I would have LOVED me some troll, because I was READY to rumble, that grumpy.... Bad hormones or something.

Wednesday, I had a wash machine delivered. Some kid alone with it on a dolly. I have a steep set of stairs that turn in two directions. So I had to help him push it up into my appartment. Running a high fever, and not exactly strong. I cursed a blue streak. I did excuse myself after and explained that when you swear and count you do it in your mother tongue. So he dumps it and says, he just delivers, but doesn't service, and stop laughing. I thought it was hilarious, since it wasn't the way I ordered it. Yes I gave him a very good tip. He didn't service. He was just this poor kid who has to haul things into people's houses.

So there I was with this IMMACULATE new machine. Packed. And so I started unpacking it, but I couldn't get it off the styropor base, see? Because I hate to admit this, but I am a klutz of the first order. I had to go to the unemployment office once and take tests. I scored over the 90th percentile of anyone who took that in all AMERICA. EXCEPT, and here it comes, people.... there is always an 'except', your classic Catch 22.... NO Small motor coordination. 'You could do anything..... Except be a pilot..... Don't ever do anything with your hands.'

Well how swell is THAT huh? And wtf am I supposed to DO, if I can't use my hands, hey. Did it mean I can't make love???? Don't ever do anything with your HANDS? Give me a break.

And that is a true story, so stop laughing.

So there I was with this HUGE THING on my hands, and not a tool in the house. Well, not true, exactly, I have two little tiny screwdrivers to wake up Lazarus, when he dies on me. Lazarus is my old PC and he does what he wants, and God, whoever she is, does the rest. And oh yes, I got a hammer somewhere in this dump. From a little kid the son of a friend, with a cute little post-it thing on it that says, 'to fix it'. I used it recently. My thumb was black and blue for a week. He should have written 'Ouch!' on it.


SO ... I unpacked it as best I could. And THEN I attached the tube from the water inlet to the machine, and it LEAKED. Like, big time. But I was ready I had the mop and pail, I know my faults, all right. So I turned it around, and put it together. And it LEAKED.

And then I friggin' FIXED it. I do not know how. And the drain tube is too big, so I just put it in the WC.

So you think this would be the happy end to a stupid story? No.

I had to turn it ON of course, and ohhhhh, how silent, how nice. Until the damned-blasted mf sob SPAWN of a thing went into spin mode and decided to DANCE across my bathroom.

NOBODY told me how to hold a bucking Bronco. I never met the MARLBORO Man, hey...

So I had to wrestle my new washing machine.

Something new to fix and I do not know how.

And that was just Wednesday. I was so weakened I couldn't eat. Nor Thursday. Yesterday I got up and cooked. Pitiful.

The rest of the week wasn't much better, and I had no one to help me. My idiot doctor gave me drops with Codein it it. Like I'm going to take that. I thought they banned that stuff DECADES ago. Am already OFF the charts for sane this week....

And with all this idiocy in my life, I had to make an important decision. I hope it was the correct one. My early birf-day Christmas present.. Tja... Just a one time present. I have the funny feeling it will be the best present I have ever had, so that is nice.

So NEXT week, next Moday, am going to upload some very nice photos. Some of them are signs. That is my absolute diabolical devilish view of things. We have some disaffected youth here, and they do graffitti. Among other things. And about taking Jesus to the red light district. I did..... He was beautiful, and kind, and a gentleman. And Why they are gonna put DEAD GUYS on the stage at the OPERA. I do not get that..... I mean hey. The RAT PACK 'live from Las Vegas'? They DIED.

DEEP Purple are playing next week, and you KNOW you have gone over the arc of your popularity if you play Graz. Unless you are a jazz musician, and then we LOVE you to death. Like Randy Newman. He is an artist. The others were con men.

I saw Sammy Davis Jr. live on stage in Frankfurt. His voice was in my head from the youngest time I can remember, before he lost his eye. 'That Old Black Magic'. He taught me about passion. He also taught me about selling yourself out, just to be accepted. Because he didn't sing it ever again. It was a nice concert, but he just went through the motions, you know? By that time his signature was Mr. Bojangles. Sold out, he did....

Off on a tangent here. I guess what I am trying to impart here is that I REALLY get sick and tired of people who rip off what other people have done, and IGNORE true artists. And I don't know what that fantasy at the opera is going to be about, but I would never pay one tired cent to see it.

And there will be some things that are for romantics who like autumn...

Sometimes, you just have to chill out, you know? But lots of stuff bother me. Stuff I do not talk about.

You figure it out, hey....