ok, the topic of the Day... is Venerables....

I know, I know... you normally have only one Venerable in your life. But others have them as well... and this will sound sort of crazy..... But whaddaya want, just spent my summer vacation in a nut-house..... It was SOOO cheap, hey. 60 Euros co-pay. Wow hey. I had four meals a day, two of which weren't writing home about, the others ok..... I had scary to interesting bunk mates, it was boot camp for psych class, what more could a boy wish for, huh? I even got to play mini-golf for the first time in over 45 years. Without a belt and under supervision, so was waaaaay handicapped. But it was fun..... holding my pants up and trying to hit the little ball....

But this is about my Venerable. He has had some misconceptions about my relationship, and yesterday, I wanted to clear that up. Because it wasn't fair to my partner. And despite what many people think, I've never been misused or abused. I always had my eyes way wide open.

And gave my heart away in a fashion I could never have imagined. And received very much in return. It should have been the perfect fairy tale, you should pardon the expression.... should have been.

Funny, how that works....

I never walked blindly into my relationship. It took me three years to work up from being a friend to realising, this is the man I have been looking for. But I didn't KNOW what was coming, I thought 'happy ever after' which is the non plus ultra, and you couldn't GET any better.

Tja, and then he got sick. And the man I depended on.... well I had to turn it around and be as strong for him as he had been for me. That's whatcha do... You pay it back.

My Venerable is astounding, he really is. His reply made me cry with relief.

I've never relished the role of Bad Boy of the Fambly. I just followed my heart, regardless of where it took me. Yeah, selfish, some might say, but I think you just have to do that, follow where your heart leads you.

There is another Venerable out here in Austria-Land.... I was so freaked when I got interred, I only had one call allowed. Of course I called Peter, because I NEVER have all those long cell phone numbers in my head. And I said, 'Call Elke in Leibnitz, and tell her where I am. I need to see her so no one thinks I did something stupid.' Less than an hour later, she was there, with HER Venerable, her mother. She was so wide-eyed, I can't even describe it, Elke was. I did some sign, can't get out, look for personnell to open the door.'

ohhhh, gawwwd. They came and I would have talked to them among my inmates, skeery as that would be, but the staff was nice enough, and said we could go to another room without patients, but only if I promised, I WOULDN'T RUN AWAY. And I looked at the guy.... Thinking 'WHAA?' I have a variety of 'looks' so I went to scathing.... And I said, 'Let me get this straight. You think I would run away. I have no belt to keep my pants up, you took my shoe-laces, and---I'm gonna run away???? Who is running this asylum? These two LADIES are just here to make sure I'm ok, ok?'

So we got our private space to talk. Elke was really upset. So I had to calm her down a bit. She had been afraid to go there alone. And her MOTHER was looking at me sort of bemused. I only met her once, a few months ago. And she said, 'Ren... could you PLEASE tell me what the hell is going ON here?'

I did, as best I could. She is very awesome.

Oh my... it's all water over the dam. As we say.

But it is very nice to know that other people have a 'Venerable', an honoured person who cares.

And a friend who would drop everything and drive nearly an hour to find me, and send some mails.

That IS what friends do for you, real ones.

I've been fairly blessed in that department.

So ok.... I will stop in Leibnitz next Wednesday on my way back to Graz. And see Elke, and her beautiful daughters, her to die for cute husband, and her awesome Mom.

OOOO.... something to look forward to. We talked per phone yesterday, am not a phone person. I told her, 'your Mom is awesome' and she should give her my greetings. I KNOW golden when I see it.

Jeebus! Talk about phones, hey! It rang and scared the bejezzus out of me, I have to find another one. My social worker. 'Are you ok?' 'More or less.... I'm not running about jumping for joy....' We had a nice talk. And I finished with, 'if things catch fire, I'll come running to you.'

oh gawwd.... What the hell did I get myself into, hey?

Not to bitch, she is a very nice lady.

Nice is not a negative word, ok?

Y'know.... ???? I get VERY uncomfortable about welfare. I DO. All my life, I have been very happy to contribute through taxes, NEVER had a thought about it, it was your taxes, gone, someone gets help who needs it.

But I have never wanted to be a recipient.... I don't want it, would rather starve than take it, it just isn't in my genetic make-up.

Yeah, I can give and it's fine with me.

Gawwd am I still messed up in my thinking.

And thank whomever for the Venerables who 'set our calves straight' and send us in the right direction, they rule.