And yeah, I'm a Broadway musical queen....

I love 'em. So of course I have a link to 'Broadway.com' and get glimpses of what is going on behind the scenes, and what is being developed for next season, and so on.

And yesterday, I was dumbfounded. There is going to be a full revival production of Steven Sondheim's 'Follies'. Now that is real news. And sent me right back to the early Seventies with a vengeance --- in my head.

When I was so young, and SO green, and so closeted it was criminal. And I had a girlfriend. (Faint all you want, you can read the rest later.) I wasn't even young, I was so naive, someone should have shot me or shaken me into facing facts.

My girlfriend was beautiful. When I was sixteen, I had my first job, saw her, and fell in love. Tall, auburn hair, incredible green eyes... something I have had an attraction to ever since... and just lovely.

Since 'da movies' sort of ruined me for life as far as what'cha DO when you fall 'in-lurv', I had my 'agenda', and we talked and talked and became friends, and I was saving up all the extra money I could to have 'the date to end all dates'. It had to be 'romantic'. I didn't have a car, never got a license to this day, so I had to do something.... She was funny, intelligent, and I loved making her eyes sparkle with amusement. Smitten, I was.

So I asked her out. To go to Bawston for the day. We were both film fanatics, but I wanted to top it. So we went to Bawston. On a Greyhound bus, please don't ask.

Once there, we took our first walk about the inner part of the city, and of course, looked for a restaurant near the theater district. And we saw this fucked-up neon sign and both read it as 'Dink's'. Except it was Dini's. We laughed so hard we were hurting, and said, 'oh, we have GOT to go there!'

So we did, and it was awesome... Fifties style leatherette booths with an aquarium in the side of each one with tropical fish. And the food was delicious, a fish fry. And I had tickets for the try-outs for 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown' at the Schubert, front orchestra seats. And we had a wonderful time.

Well, being successful, we did it a couple of times later, seeing premieres of movies, and what not, and exploring the city. And we were young and naive, and yes, there was some closer contact.... except I got more and more uncomfortable with it.

Which brings us to Follies. It was trying out in Bawston on the way to New Yawk. Now legendary stage and screen goddesses, a HUGE production.

So I was planning to surprise her with it. Planning to get tickets. At the time, I was starting to check out a magazine called 'After Dark'. Entertainment news with a huge gay slant to it. Except I didn't realise it at the time. And they said it was a train wreck, so I thought, 'well, no use wasting money on THAT...'

It turned out to be legendary, and my girlfriend dumped me for an older guy three weeks later. Because I remained a 'gentleman'. I was devastated.

Sondheim himself has said it is nearly impossible to stage a full production of that show since. It takes place in a ruined theater where the Ziegfield Follies were held, and there is a reunion of the beautiful women who were headliners, and their mates. You have to have a cast of still beautiful older women, and a full cast of their younger selves.

And it is really sad, as most of his work is. It is full of traditional Broadway razzamataz numbers, some of them classic. I love the number 'Broadway Baby', for instance. The turn of the coin was 'Going Out of My Mind'. It must have been really something, and SO STUPID that I didn't go anyways.

It was also about relationships, what might-have-beens, and the general public at the time wasn't buying it, but the music lived on.

And it ends with a nervous breakdown. Not what Broadway was reckoning with, but it's become classic, and near-impossible to stage. But they have Bernadette Peters as headliner, so I don't think that can go wrong..... she's a goddess.

What became of my girlfriend? She went into banking. And she'd hardly get a toe-hold, and the bank would get swallowed up, and she'd have to start all over again. Yes, we remained in contact, if sproradic, and diffuse.

And on my one visit home... I had one full day ONLY for her... and yeah, she knew about Peter. She came over for lunch at my parent's house. And they were so FREAKED, because they had no idea what was going on. And I cooked like a god. And we spent the rest of the day tooling around in her super-car, and visited her home, and a super-mall, and were comfortable with one another, and laughed so much. In the middle of it, her mother called me at my parent's house and said, 'I am SO sorry it didn't work out for you both, you were wonderful.' She was so lovely... but I would have caused them heartache beyond measure, and she knew that. Still, it was nice to hear.

I was in Venice a few months later and found a glass egg in Venice, when I still had money. It was the color of her eyes, so I sent it to her. I think it was appropriate.

We've lost touch since. It was complicated. I met her husband, and he was very nice, she has three grown sons. And the last thing she said was 'Kiss me.' So I did. In front of her husband, so it was chaste.

It only makes me understand the concept of the show and appreciate it more.

We all have our salad days, we all have things that would have driven us crazy, but bottom line? We do what we do.

I hope the people making this revival are successful.