The darkest days of the year, halleluhjah...

Christmas is today, the 24th in Austria. Then we get Christmas day, which is for family, and St. Stephen's on the 26th, which is for friends.

But today.... is inner circle. Quiet. And very much what it is meant to be, I guess...

If you don't have one, it IS very silent. But they go all gooey and nice, and sentimental.

Yesterday I had to get out of Café Purgatory, I needed to think. And there were two teens, and of a sudden, they started looking frantically in front of the bench for something. It went on a while, so I asked, 'Excuse me, did you lose something?' And one of the kids said, 'Yes, the tip of my lip piercing.'

I didn't flinch. I have a nipple one, and if they get out and roll around, difficult to find.

And I said, 'Guys, is the BENCH screwed into the platform?'

'No.'

'Well move it forward, and I'll help you look under it.' And we did , and my eyes are shit in the dark, and I saw something glimmer, but it was Feldspar.

They gave it up, and moved the bench back like good little boys... just as the train came in, and we went on our way, but they were in my car. Got off in Leibnitz, next stop, and said, 'Thank you, and Happy Christmas.' And I smiled, and said, 'To you too', and no, I didn't tell them I have a nipple ring, thenk you...

A real oldie would have had a problem with them. They are young, have wild haircuts, and think a piercing in your lip is something 'good'. But if you pretend you've seen it all before... they are very polite.

My thoughts tonite are with Annti. We're usually both alone on this evening, and she doesn't believe what she can't see, and otherwise had a miserable time. So to my darlin' ... yeah, Happy Merry, blah...

Annti is a font of information. She freaked when I casually mentioned I was going to Afrika at the end of a mail before I did my post, thinking W. was gonna drag me to Ethiopia and help kidnap his son. Now that would be an adventure... except he's dumb as Jello....

Which triggered a memory from early hotel days. A Nigerian who wanted to hire me to sell stoves. In Abuja, but I think that in the 70's it was called Nairobi. Names change, and it gets confusing. He was very odd, it was three in the a.m., he had a beautiful wife, and said I was brilliant, and that he was an alcoholic and a prophet. I hadn't thought of it in decades, actually, but it is probably in my diaries.... I have several, but prefer not to look back.

The firm in question was across the street from the ho-tel, and I 'think' it was normal stoves, but it was an office on the first floor, with only a sign down below, so I really have no idea what they did.

Annti says my life is 'mad-cap'. Yeah, to a certain extent.... Sometimes slap-stick, sometimes dangerous. A chapter I'm still not ready to discuss, the most terrifying six months of my life, and I hope 'that' man is rotting somewhere.

But Annti... on this of all nights... I wish you peace and quiet, and everything, everything good.

I didn't do much today. Peter called four times, and I caught cold so wanted to just rest. I walked over to the market, haven't been in weeks, and Millie had been worried. And the tobacconist, and did my 'Merry Merrys'. It was Schmuddelwetter, everything melting, and resulting fog, and dirt from all the crap they spread when it snowed.

Called my old boss, wished her happy Birthday, and a wonderful Fest.

She's 74 now... and I know she liked me remembering, and calling. She's surrounded by a mess of family, which is good.

Otherwise... I didn't do anything special. Just watched a film on the channel I subscribed to. With Julia Roberts.... woman on the search for what she REALLY wanted. It was too long, but... It was called Eat, Pray, Love. A third of it was filmed in Italy, and it made me cry. Oh my, Florence, where I always wanted to visit, and Rome! where I've been, and Naples. It had to do with food, and oh, gawwd, the food! It was about a spiritual journey, but it was the Italian part that got to me.

This night.... always makes me sad, and remember. I'd forgotten how MUCH I love Italy, and the culture there. That was fairly heady. I'd been there before Peter and I connected, and fell head over heels. And when we did... I dragged him down there, and he was as thrilled as I was.

Just marching into one of the stellar restaurants in Venice, and being greeted as preferred customers. (They can be snobby...) And chatting, and getting a haircut and an Italian lesson from Franco, and travelling all over the inner bay to the other islands, even the cemetery, which was amazing... or renting part of a palazzo, and running for the ferry boat after putting water on to boil and getting living crabs at the fish market, well yeah, it made me 'homesick'. Shouldn't have watched it.

It was mad-cap, all right.

I long for the old Venice, when it wasn't overrun with tourists and dead pigeons on St. Mark's Square. I long for a lot of things.

So this night.... it is so quiet, I take stock of things, and end up sad.

Peter is being horrible again, calling. Every time I go down there, he gets hyper.

Whatever, Merry, Happy, count your blessings, ruminate on what was, and hope for better times.