wish to clarify something...

My darlin'---- aka Annti... wrote that she liked something I'd written on my wall on Facebook, and I haven't written anything there since shortly after my birfday... Because I am not a fan of Facebook, never have been. I only check once in a very great while to see how some of my relatives are doing.

So I'm not certain what she saw there.

But I wish to clarify something here and now. She said to get my head out of my butt... well she said to come out of my role playing game on-line, and get to work.

She has never known the effect of what the high horridays can do to you over here, so wasn't offended. You tune out, mostly... and y'know what? So does the media, mostly.

It's as if the world stopped, or something.

As to playing... for me it isn't ABOUT the game at all, really... not really. Oh, it's 'pretty' and gruesome, and I get some 'fun' out of it, no doubt about it. Amazing graphics, and thank whomever on high.. no SOUND.

It replaced something I'd been very much missing over the past three years.... contact with people. At my work, every day was an adventure. The door would open, and I might meet one of the most amazing people on the planet. Or they might be just boring. But it was always fulfilling, and I made the most wonderful contacts with my guests. Ones that went beyond just catering to their wishes... really long terrific discussions, and knowing about who they were, their histories, what they were disappointed about in their lives, what they hoped for, history above all.

The job may not have paid well, but for me.... it was damned enriching.

And I miss 'my' guests. Very much. It is difficult to go from having a day filled with adventures to a day of more or less complete hermitness. And though I LIKE solitude mostly... I miss the possibilities of just meeting people who can blow your mind, engage you in new thoughts and passionate discussions, and learn things.... even if you disagree with them.

You can take a rainy night in November 1976, for example, and this man walks in, big classic renaissance head from a painting, and in a cheap plastic raincoat... or sort of a coverall, don't know what to call it. It was pitiful looking. And I thought, 'Oh, some farmer from the boonies.'

Well to check in to a no-tell ho-tel, you have to show ID. And he gave me a German passport. And in it stood 'The Prince von Schaumburg zur Lippe'. And I thought... oh boy, how do I ADRESS this man? Oh well, I'm 'Murkin, will stick to 'you' in the polite form or avoid it altogether.'

And by the way... the Austrian nobility lost their right to carry their titles on offical documents after WWI. The Germans didn't. It's a difference.

Turns out he was the most modest man I have ever met, and was a yearly visitor for nearly thirty years. And one of the richest men in Germany. But with take a room without an inside bath. Till we had no more. He was an engineer, and was always here for train transport conventions. And I got to know him as much as he was willing to open himself up. Fascinating.

See what I mean? Every day an adventure, hey. And then? Dullsville. Oh, I did manage to get myself messed about with some colorful people getting Peter the care he needed, but now? I see two to three people every day, and it is automaton city... get your snigarettes, get a bit of food, get your arse home. That is it.

So playing the game is sort of a substitute, and is never about the game at all.
It's about the uncertainty of who you might meet in a small group, or a chat, or just 'so'. And can be bloody amazing.

I read a study result report about lying on-line. People are less likely to do that. It's anonymous, and sometimes without warning, they will talk to you so openly, it leaves me spitless.

And THAT is what interests me most about it, or I'd have given up on it months ago. It's the personal contact.

So no, haven't got my head up my arse... just found a bit of something to replace what was taken from me so brutally.

And still find the time to check on the news and the usual things I look at, only you know what? Lately everyone has been so disgusting to me... I end up not wishing to comment at all.
So am not running away from reality... just curious about who I meet next, and what the hell comes out of their fingers, writing in private chats.
Hardly escaping reality, I assure you.