Was in Gamlitz, just back

And it just gets worse and worse. First the usual administrative aggravations, and boy, I can really get upset about those.... I have to check with the social services office for him and get some info.

Then to Peter's room. Phew... He's really declining fast. Weak, confused. He was only awake the first fifteen minutes I was there. And asked me if he were in the same room as before. I pointed around, and said, 'Of course, there's your raven painting, your cd's, your books over there, of COURSE it is.' He seemed a bit relieved, said he was exhausted and wanted to sleep a half hour. I said, 'Ok, you do that.' He dropped right off, fetal postion, clutching the bed rail again. That is a recent development.

Well, THAT was unsettling, so I slipped downstairs, and told Juliana and asked her if she knew what they had found out in Wagna. Oh no, she's admin, but would have Nurse Ksenia, who is the head of the nursing staff come and speak with me.

She said they had found nothing wrong with his lungs in Wagna. And with a kindness that is really innate with her, I think, told me enough to say... he's going into dementia. The slips a year or so ago were just once in a great while, but it's accelerated badly over the past month or so.

Whatever, at times he can really go into bad-boy mode with them, gets racist, refuse to take his meds, and throws them out of the room. Me: 'You can't FORCE him?' She, shocked: 'Oh NO, that's against the law! But he needs his medication regularly. He's like two people, one day he's the NICE Mr. P., all cooperative, and polite and pleasant, and then in a moment he becomes the BAD Mr. P.'

I said, 'Sounds like Jekyll and Hyde.' She laughed a bit. 'It's just his sickness, he's at a point where he's not aware he is doing it.' And yes they all know the R.L. Stevenson story here in some form or other....

And she said, 'Listen, don't tell him, but he HAS to take those pills for his blood pressure and his heart, and it has to be regular. So we put it in his coffee. ' Well there had just been corfee and cake at three, and I snorted, and said, 'Well thank goodness I didn't drink half of it today', (which I sometimes do...) And she laughed, and said, 'not to worry, it's only in the morning one.' (I guess it's like sneaking vet medicine into a pet's food and hope they don't notice...) And I said, 'Well, whatever works without the drama...'

Well, of the three hours there, he was awake for maybe half of it. And shortly before 4 p.m. I said, 'Well, it's that time again, have to go, Peter.'

He looked at me astonished, and asked, 'Where?????'

'HOME, Peter....'

'Where's THAT?'

'Graz, Peter, remember??? I have to get my bus and train. Last connection...'

'What are you gonna DO there?'

'Get something to eat, then sleep, it's been a long day.'

'Oh... You can't stay here?'

'Sorry, no, I can't.'

'Oh.'

That was the most surreal discussion I have EVER had with him. It was sort of devastating.

He's got no money there---again, and looks like hell. Hair too long, and beard a mess. I had brought him 200 Euros Saturday a week ago, and had put it in the drawer of his night-stand in Wagna. He knew nothing today about where it had gotten to. So I had to clear THAT up. Asked at admin shortly after arrival, and they said a male nurse had found he was looking disoriented, so he gave it to the nursing home to hold, and they were keeping it for him.

He had gotten a clock repaired, and it was expensive, so I said, 'Listen, you take that to cover the repair, use the rest for his co-pay, I will explain it to him, am sure he will say it is ok, and whatever the rest is that's open... well, I have only one idea, I'm afraid. ' And explained.

I've had to build up so much trust down there... and they do, and honestly seem to like me. I saw my former steel-worker guy from Graz in the hall on the way out, and he pointed at me and said, 'Servas'. That is a 'familiar' greeting form. Poor man's wife has had two strokes and will most likely never leave. But he is always there any day of the week I go down there, and is very attentive, takes her out walking through the countryside. I guess he is one of the good guys.

That was just after two nurses aides came in and said, 'We have you take you downstairs and weigh you.'

Hildegard came to mind, and I asked, 'My Lord, you have a CRANE?'

Peter was, 'are you plappering out of the sewing kit?' which is slang for gossiping.

I said 'No, the crochet kit' (The word for crochet can ALSO mean to pull someone's leg.)

I've seen those two a few times before, and the senior one really gets on with Peter, and is 'sassy' and funny, he likes her. I do too, for that matter....

'Oh, we're STRONG women', they said.

And I pretended a double take, and said, 'Wow, Superfrauen!' They laughed.

I had already seen that they can take a joke, so I wasn't being out of bounds or snarky....

Gawwd, my thinking is sort of circular today. So it isn't a linear relating of the day, am afraid. As I've said before, I come back from there, and get out so little, it usually takes me a few hours to digest all the impressions in order to BE linear, and by the time I get done, it's usually midnight.

And am just too tired to do that this evening.

It ended with me going to Admin again, because Ksenia said, 'Gawwd, that beard, he looks like a Bushman.' So I stopped by, said 'I'm a real pest today, but Ksenia told me that a barber is coming on Tuesday, so I want to deposit this money so he gets a haircut and shave. He knows... for now. And this is MY personal money, not his, so I want to make sure that happens.' She gave me a receipt.

I got into a good short discussion with my 'alternate' bus driver on the way back to Ehrenhausen, had my wait in Café Purgatory, the train came.... And got STUCK 300 Meters from the platform in Graz, something wrong with the locomotive, and we had fifteen minutes till the damned thing made that last little stretch. People lost some connections. I had to go to the WC and you can't do it in a train station on the train. OW. I was afraid I was gonna have a Margaret Cho moment.... So finally, we get there and am cramping... And then the automatic doors stuck and we couldn't get off. So I RAN for the bus, grabbed a frozen lasagne, and made it to my own WC JUST in time.

Maybe I should file this under... 'what I did with my day'....