I'm totally awful...

REEALLLY awful.

This week began totally badly.

A call from an ambulance heading to Graz.

Peter... he wouldn't be back in time, and I shouldn't go back down there.

'What's going ON?'

'I don't know yet.'

Well, that's sorta fuckin' great....

It was early afternoon, and the nursing home called. 'Is he back?'

And then I got both barrels. In the face. Juliana wanted to connect me, and I said no, just hang up and will call him directly. I asked what the hell was going on, and she said, 'He wants to leave the facility, so a question? Do you have any alternatives? It's just a discreet question....'

Oh man, so typical. In more than one sense. So she connected me, and he was ranting about how he was going to sue for being kidnapped, and they had him tied down in the ambulance, it must have been one of his rages. A re-run of December two years ago when he left assisted living, and I said, 'Where to the fuck you think you are going to GO, hey? Let them put you on the streets, or something?'

Juliana was concerned, and was suddenly in the room and he repeated that, and I said, 'No, she didn't say that, but it was IMPLIED, you idiot.'

'Why can't you just NOT cause TROUBLE?'

Good, his mind is a sieve, but if they had to strap him down... oh wow. But they let him call... It is probably the only way they get some piece and quiet from him, hell, I don't know. I told her I was so angry I didn't want to speak to him.

The late morning progressed with him wanting to call me, and I got really really steamed. And the second one, I dialled through, and he wasn't able to pick it up and answer, and the THIRD one. I was just thoroughly pissed off.

'I'm getting outta here.'

'Oh yes? How, may I ask?'

'I got money on my account.'

'You have 80 Euros.'

'How do you know that?'

'I have your card and get your bank statements, herrgottnochmal.'

And by then I really HAD it, and became awful. And said that I was so pissed off, I will NOT go to Gamlitz tomorrow, and I MIGHT go WEDNESDAY, and he should think about it.

He called again... and I put the phone off hook and disconnected.

So am awful. And pissed off at myself.

But sometimes... there is only so much I can take as well.