It HAS to be the Föhn.......

Has to be. Ever hear of it? It's a regional weather phenomenon in this area, and mostly affects Bavaria and Salzburg, but sometimes we get it here too.

I thought it was a myth, when I first came here, and laughed it off, and poo-pooed to beat the band, especially when I learned that Munich has a law allowing mitigating circumstances if someone kills their spouse during a Föhn period. At which point I scoffed and said, 'You are pulling my leg, right? Right? Come ON, that is so silly.' I soon learned it wasn't a joke at all.

So what is a Föhn? It is a low pressure area sitting on top of a high pressure area, and everything gets sort of intense.

How can you tell it's a Föhn?

1.) If you are susceptible to them, you wake up with pressure on your brain, not a full-blown headache, but as if someone were pressing down on your head, and it aches dully. And it is really NOT advisable to do anything physically strenuous, because there's gonna be a hammer blow to your head, and you will suffer the worst pain you have ever, ever experienced. I learned that one the hard way, and since then, oh yes, I believe in the Föhn, all right....

2.) It is unnaturally warm, with a slight luke-warm bit of wind blowing.

3.) Things that are far away seem very close, and very defined, traffic noises can physically hurt, they get so amplified.

Sooooo we've had Föhn for three days now. It can make people behave very oddly as well, and today I found the winner. Crazy lady on the streetcar to the hospital. Very attractive, very well dressed, and first I thought she was on a cell phone, and swinging her legs out and in, sitting on the back window sill of the tram.

Except... she wasn't. She was talking to someone named Franz who was right in front of HER... but none of us could see him.... The resemblance to the 'fabulous' 'Downtown Judy' of my youth was sort of uncanny.... and outright 'dirty'.... "Men don't know the first THING about oral sex. They only know how to give blow jobs!" I nearly choked on my own spit, hey. And everyone else was embarassed, and pretending nothing out of the ordinary was happening. And I muttered 'Oh wow....' It was like watching a train wreck in slo-mo.

Peter was super-depressed. Couldn't remember how he got to Gamlitz in the first place. His bed-neighbor was on a rolling IV, and I kidded him a little.... 'I thought people only walked their dogs...' He laughed. And then sprung a leak and piddled in the hall outside the door. I really should keep my mouf shut.

Talked to Peter for a long time, but he was in and out of ga-ga. Depressing? You bet, to quote Ed Schultz...

'I'm going to wheel over to the stairwell and throw myself down it.'

'I'd never speak to you again.'

Confused look. 'I'd be dead.'

'That's the POINT, I'd never talk to you again!'

Sheesh.

Whelp, tomorrow we are in for rain, and the Föhn will be over. I hate Föhn....