On The Road Again....

Yup, another trek to Gamlitz. I shot this from the bus window just inside the town limits, so you can see how late Fall it has become, and how the village lies nestled at the bottom of those hills in the background. New driver, but seemingly, I've become something of a news item in that little backwater town. Because on the way back, he said, 'I hear you come down here to visit your friend in the nursing home every week. That is so nice of you.' And I thought, 'Whoa!' That was surprising. Looks like I'm getting a 'rep, but it's positive, at least. We had a nice discussion on the way back... but still... you live in a village, wow, everyone knows everyone's business, and since I'm the 'outsider', travelling there every week, have raised curiosity. Oh no, Preciousses, I certainly wouldn't want to live there, for sure.

Approching the home... saw something new. The heretofore tall green grasses next to the doctor's office went all fuzzy, and the late Fall light made me stop and have to snap them. They were just beautiful. I suppose those are all seedlings for next year, but I found them fascinating. And oh yeah... that building in the back right that looks like a bunker is the nursing home.


I'd had to plunder Peter's bank account as promised, because he got his double pension payment, and most of it had to go for co-pay for his meds, and there was never enough to keep up with it all. I'd promised the office in August that I would do so, and it killed me to slap down six hundred eighty Euros on the counter, and keep my word. Peter had ok'd it back then, and wasn't so ga-ga at the time, just a slip here or there. Otherwise, I've never touched his account. Other than for the bus/train money to go there once a week, which he also ok'd back in March.

So I had to go into wheedle mode with Andrea in Admin. 'Listen, with all the co-pay for the vast amount of meds he is receiving, I don't know how he can keep up with those bills. I really do not. Isn't there something that can be done to get him an exemption for it? Because I really don't know how it can be done otherwise.'

Honesty is good, sometimes. She said she'd take it up with the director and would see what they can do. And bless my late Mom who always said, 'You got a tongue in your head... USE IT.' Still always my inner guide, hey, when things get difficult. We shall see.

My 'double' came as well, so I got him a mini hi-fi 'tower'. He'd sold off his fabulous one, kept the CD'S, and then didn't have anything to play them on, you see. And since he didn't have a radio in the room, but does have a wonderful tee-vee, that came from my account,

Of course they saw me lug it in, and I said, 'And this is my Christmas/birfday present for him, and explained. Juliana was there as well, and said, 'Hey... if only he'd said something.' I guess they have cheap ones lying around from deceased patients, but just the thought is creepy for me.

Just shrugged, and said, 'Na, that's ok. I was told by a doctor it would be good for him.' And it isn't as if it cost the world....

So it took me an hour to set it up, me being the most impractical clumsy idjit in the world when it comes to small motor coordination. And the instructions were unclear, and the diagrammes were so tiny I couldn't make sense of them at first. So I began muttering imprecations, Peter thought I was cursing at HIM, and he cried for the hour I put it together and tried to figure it out. Turned out to be easy... once you learn the gobbledy gook.

So I finally got the clock set, and figured out how to turn on the radio so he can listen to the 'morning journal' on Austria 1 radio in the morning, which he loves, and how to run the cd's, which was easy by that time....

There was some Föhn today, and he was depressed, and cried a lot. He said he was tired, and wanted to run away, roll into a pond and drown himself. So I had another lonnng talk with Admin, and asked, 'You know.... I think my visits are beginning to upset him more than they help. Should I do less?' She looked concerned. Thought. And said, 'No'.

I shrugged, and said, 'Well, they don't do me any good sometimes. If he gets all riled up inside and makes things more difficult for the staff, that won't help.' 'No. It does help.'

I guess they have enough patients who get dumped and are never visited. To think that till the beginning of July, we could talk about all sorts of things. Anything. But the acceleration of his decline since is so fast it freaks me.

Am not whining, just amazed. I'd hardly gotten home, a nurse called me and asked me to call him back. I'd asked Admin not to open his phone to allow outgoing calls, but allow for incoming ones. Because if he calls long distance every forty minutes just to ask, 'Are you coming to visit? When will you arrive?' he's gonna run up waay more debt than he already has. I had told Admin today... 'Ok... he's gonna wanna call every forty minutes, because he can't remember. So let's set up a routine here. I will be here every Friday, will arrive around 12:30, so that he can adjust better. So just keep telling him that, and will do it.'

Tja... between the Föhn and his increasing fears... it wasn't good. Günther was of the opinion that the CD player would be a very good thing for him, so why not, you know?

Leaving at four p.m, it was twilight already. Such light. And was thinking about people going into THEIR dark good nights. Next month it will be dark when I leave. It gets dark sometime after 3 p.m. There is a beauty in the landscape, the smells on the air, but it always sort of depresses me. And yet... it's sort of heart-stoppingly beautiful. I know I post a lot of photos from some of the same vantage points... but through the seasons, from March till now, there is always something 'different' from the last time.

And twenty minutes later, the sun had gone behind the hills,
had climbed up the stairs to the train station in Ehrenhausen, and the light was gorgeous.

Tja, on the road again.... it may be the same road all the time lately... but if you really LOOK... it's always different, somehow.