I finished the DVD power cycle fest

Glee. The first half of the first season was really good. It brought back many memories, most of them bad. But it is a very interesting and entertaining one.... and makes you think, and the underlying message is positive.

And it isn't Disney. It gets very close to reality. About 'losers', who have some talent and turn things around, but nothing about it is 'happy end'. It's uplifting enough. If you believe in yourself, you get to go on somehow. Except.... it isn't a picnick.

Well, I know about that all right.... A couple of episodes made me cry. Not boo-hoo, sobbing, but found tears running down my cheeks. Am hypersensitive at present.

My high school years were the worst in my entire life. I hated every single day I had to go there, and homeroom was the worst, and always the first thing on the schedule. We were seated alphabetically, and the kid behind me was privileged. And he made my life hell, every day. And he would take his thumb and forefinger, and hit my ear like a gun-shot. And say, 'You faggot...' He was a bully. He was on the football team, and I could never take him down in a fight, so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I ignored him. Which made him angrier, I guess. In the long run, he ignored me because I would not give him the satisfaction of letting him know he was getting to me.

Later in the third year, something happened in the locker room, and rumour had it he was the leader and they raped a young kid because they thought he was 'weak'. It was an underground scandal for weeks. He has a car dealership, and I hope he went down the tubes since and got his existance wiped out forever, that loser....

It was a difficult thing to watch sometimes, some episodes, but it was so on target....

It seems to be a terrific series, fresh, innovative, and not so full of bullshit that you want to barf. On the other hand.... I did want to barf over some things, because they hit close to home.

I have never liked looking back on that time in my life. I underachieved, because it was pure stress and negation. But I did LEARN something. I learned I was not socially acceptable, because I came from the wrong side of town, I learned that I was supposedly not worth anything, and my guidance counsellor laughed in my face when I said I wanted to go to college, literally, if you please, and I learned that you have to have the right clothes, the ones we couldn't afford, oh yes.... it was a learning experience, all right. I just retreated into my shell, and was totally angry. My senior year, there was one person who would seemingly like to talk to me at lunch breaks. As far as I know, he died in Viet Nam. Some people are still looking for him. He was funny.... Always called me 'Rosenkrantz'. Saw me with a book of a play, 'Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead' by Tom Stoppard, I explained what it was about, and suddenly got re-christianed...

But at the time.... I was thinking, 'what the hell does he want, is he gonna do something awful and set me up?' I had no trust... Well, I will never know....

High School was traumatic, in other words, and the series came close to it. Good stuff, and cathartic.

Was in Gamlitz today..... oh boy..... that is for tomorrow.