While Annti is seemingly freaking out

must read that later.... so am I.

I finally got in touch with Hans. I'd brought up his name, last visit, and asked Peter if he would like him to visit. He perked right up, and I thought 'no time better than now, when he still knows who he is...'


I'd looked him up on the internets telephone book but whaddaya know... NA. They were probably on a vacation, this being the classic month.

Hans was Peter's neighbor where he lived while his mother was alive and dying, and he was taking care of her. He used to call him Godzilla, because he was into body-building. They are close in age. And I would hear all the stories about him and his weird Jehovah Witness wife, who ... the last time the wurrld was ending, quit her tenured bank job, cashed in their joint bank accoumts, and went to the local temple--and it NEVER HAPPENED, we are all still here, for good or evil. (Why did she think money would be any good to her in that situation, huh?) It was tragic. And how the hell he ever stood all that? He said it was to protect his children.

And you know what pisses me off even today? I ALWAYS presented Peter to my friends and , I ALWAYS was proud to show my friends and family to him and say, 'hey, this guy lurvs me.'

It took him over twenty-five to invite him to our house! I was astounded.

Hans is a very nice man and always visited Peter when I wasn't aware, when he was in hospital... he always KNEW and cared... as a friend. So I've only seen him twice in my life. Typical Austrian, loves his motorcycle to get away from all HIS shit, has a lovely dog, who is so affectionate. And when he was in the Mühlgasse, I went to the kitchen, and let them talk. But I instinctively liked him.

What did Peter think I would do, jump his bones? Yes, he's attractive......

Actually, he reminded me of the 'spouse' of my friend Mark... so rough-edged, so real... he was someone I just liked, because it did Peter good, and I wanted Peter OUT of his remaining closet.

The phone call was a revelation. I identified myself... and he said, 'Oh yes, Peter's told me so much about you.' And I'll never know WHAT.

I told him he was in Gamlitz, and some background. He said, 'I know, I went to Buchenweg and he was gone, so I went to the social services rental place to find out where.'

THAT is what true friends do. They don't just let them slip out of sight.

I said I knew Peter would like him to visit. But warned him not to wear him out... visits are very tiring because he still tries to hold it together.

He says he wants to take me with him to visit when he goes down there and first I said, 'NO!' Reflex. But then I said yes.

The rest was awkward. It will be short notice, he said.

Well I'm an early pensioner-.... I have nothing but TIME.-..

Blast Peter for putting me in the realm of 'Awkward'.