Huh... There is a cold wind a-blowin'

Graffitto out on the square... The words mean, it's drafty.

I was sort of impressed that Dubai, the epitome of wealth, is also in trouble. NY Times link in the title. Thousands fleeing. Maybe that ten-star hotel is going to end up looking like the old defunct two star one in the picture... Interesting that they have debtors prisons there. How very Dickensian.

Yes, have been remiss....

There are some days I have little to say, or just freak out over the fucking Republicans and their fucking audacity, or end up having to run around doing things I do not like to do and get all it a fuss....

So retroactive Happy Valentine's day to all whom I love, you know who you are...

And no... am just extremely depressed for a lot of reasons.

Larry King harping on the Octopussy for days on end depresses me.

If she were in Germany, they would take all of her children away from her per social services, they said so. Shocked, I tell you, shocked.

Depresses me.

My health.... depresses me. The fucking social services and pension people depress me to fucking death.

Having to turn five cents over three times before spending it.... depresses me.

The only nice thing these past few days was having the designated Bishop Wagner ask Ratzi to rescind the nomination and promotion. The ASSHOLE had the nerve to maintain that the victims of Hurricane Katrina got what they deserved, and that was God's punishment for that Sodom and Gommorah of a city. So why didn't 'God' kill David Vitter from that state, who visited whores and liked to play diaper games, but is oh,,,,, SO family values?

And then cries on state tee-vee, because, you see, in the past two weeks since the nomination, the poor guy got attacked per e-mail, and his subjects, and yes, I use the word intentionally, and the 'hate' was so terrible for him, he couldn't sleep. I'll just BET.

Because, you see... what he said wasn't hateful, or unchristian. This guy is a fucking Bill O'Reilly!

Spews hate, and then gets taken aback when there is an uproar? Oh please...

There were massive threats of people leaving the Church officially, and here, you HAVE to pay a tithe, one tenth of your income.

So Ratzi.... accepted his not taking the new post.

So there ya go...

They are being pragmatic, Rome, I mean. Italy just had a sort of Terry Schiavo case, and the bloody Italians did the fucking same thing to that poor family. I thought I was re-living ground-hog day in another language. Fourteen years in a coma? Still 'young?'

Let her go.

Depressing for many reasons. My first neighbor in this house was wonderful. Funny, an artist, and so on. And he was so vibrant, and we sat out on the square so often, and argued about politics, and arts, and so on. Then he was at home down south, fell into a brook and drowned. He was under water twenty minutes, and they fucking revived him into a coma. He got six months of martyrdom. On tubes, tracheotomy, the oxygen being pumped into him, and all that entails. I was allowed to visit three days before he died. If he had come out of it, the brain damage would have been immense. He looked so frail. I stroked his good arm, and whispered, 'What the FUCK do you think you were DOING?'

And I swear, I saw his mouth twitch as if he were trying to smile.

Three days later, he was dead. A 'seizure'.

Uh-huh.

Just like that... you lose a friend.

Devastating.

And no, there wasn't anything else between us. But this wonderful tension, who can do better intellecutally, who can defend what they think better, and gawwd was he good.

(It IS possible to mind-fuck, believe me.)

The good things in my life seem to have left me behind with the Orks, so am on my own.

There are saving moments.

My neighbor brought her two year old up our creaky stairs, and was encouraging her, and I was just going out for snigarettes. And I said, 'Hey, A. you are really doing GOOD.' We have torturous stairs. And the child showed me an egg she just got. A thin chocolate one that has a little toy inside. 'Surprise eggs'. So I said, 'Oh, I wonder what is IN it.' And she looked at me as if I were 'stupid', because she wanted to get into the house, and was thinking of house, and said 'Peter!' as if I were stoopid or something. Her mother's friend....

It made me smile.

But still, am sinking into depression, and that is NOT good.

more Koalas

Poor Sam got her paws burned and the fireman had a reunion with the little guy he saved, and the full video of that was up today.

Oh... my... God! The RC elders just get so fucking weird...

This is the Babel fish translation. Loony as ever, but with some corrections on my part to make it understandable.


Bishop Fischer: " Homosexuality is curable" Homosexuality is for the Feldkircher bishop Elmar Fischer a psychological illness. In many cases homosexuality can be healed however, said the bishop on Wednesday radio Vorarlberg. On Thursday Fischer apologized for his statements. Bishop Fischer, who is a trained psychologist, in a Vorarlberg interview compared homosexuality on Wednesday in the radio with alcoholism or fear neuroses. There are studies, which say that homosexuality is more curable, said the bishop and asked the question, why one was to doubt. Also alcoholism is for example more curable, concern it also a psychological illness. He does not understand, why one must be the opinion that homosexuality is an alternative Sexualform, so Fischer.

That is the crux of the brouhaha.... The apology just made the local tee-vee station news. He hadn't been up on new scientific data, he said....

Wellllll..... considering they rehabilitated Gallileo only a while ago, should this surprise me?

Ummm... noooo....

But he was so wrong on all counts, I would like to know who the fuck made HIM the indian chief, and why the fuck is he so interested in the subject in the first place. And why the hell doesn't he just freaking disappear, or get kid-napped and reprogrammed by the Flying Spaghetti Monster in his school in the sky? Or get a real life...

I am willing to bet 100 Euros that I do not have, that he sets himself up 'meditating' on the Bible with the door open, so that people on retreat can see how DEVOUT he is, and what the people on retreat don't know is that he's stuck in pages of Honcho or Monster Tits into it, and is NOT studying the text.

And don't start rolling your eyes, and think I'm being some sort of paranoid idjit. I KNOW of a case like that. And the guy said, 'I do sin. But before I go to sleep, confess my sins, and God forgives me.' And he woke up with a clean slate every morning and was happy....

So you see? That is one sweet deal he had. So why can't he just assume that someone can have gay sex one evening, wake up in the morning, 'confess' his 'sin' to God, and all would be well? What would be the big deal in their eyes if it were so?

These people are so fucked up in their heads, it really isn't funny any more....

Just sayin'

Update: most of the comments on the ORF article are biting and hilarious in part. One person said Ratzinger has put masturbation down as a serious sin. 'Can that be cured too?' the person wanted to know.... it was meant sarcastically, I can assure you...

Koala bears in need

They normally don't approach humans. And are adorable critters....

MORE KOALAS IN NEED

{Posted in News/Current Events, The Animals on February 11th, 2009 by Scott }

BIE reader Andrew from Melbourne in Australialand sent me this heart breaker of pic this morning.

If you want to donate to help rescue and care for these amazing creatures that are being devastated by the record breaking heatwave and the fires sweeping the state of Victoria, NSW go here and give them some love.

I just did.

I mean really now; is it too painful for you to dig in to your pocket a bit and give fifty or twenty five or even ten bucks to help these completely awesome marsupials?

The Australian Koala Foundation does incredible work and with our help they will work to see that Koalas like the little guy being helped by the Aussie fireman in the picture and put at risk by the fires and heatwave will be rescued.

If you won't help they can't help, and if they can't help there won't be any more Koalas.

Keith Olberman got an award from the Human Rights Campaign

And Ms Spaulding got it all.... thank goodness.

The award was from his special commentaries

link here

His commentary was spot on. But even if his speech at the awards ceremony was a bit rambling at first, it was powerful. And could make you really re-think things that have happened in everyone's life.

Both are worth a look.

And no, I still wouldn't want to marry.... but can only wish those who do all the luck in the world.

Oh... too bad...

This guy cracks me up and is outrageous. And so edgy, Comedy Central cut him out.

Even they can be wusses... NSFW.

Have to find out more about him....

Hokay....

After hearing about the westernising of the rest of the world, we get joyous news of something totally 'new'. Link in the title.

Have these people TOTALLY lost their MINDS?

A product that makes your breath smell like (smoked?) ham? Burger King?

Kill me now, please!

Obviously the makers of this shit were never in Graz in the '70's.....

Imagine getting on a tram that is overcroweded, and everyone smells of salami breath, because they didn't brush after breakfast and were in a hurry.

I mean, I KNOW things go in cycles, but hey.... revolting and makes you shudder.

Does this mean that they are going to go back to not using a deoderant again?

gawwwwwd.....

WHY isn't this man on Obama's Cabinet?

Let's forget for a moment that he got last year's Nobel prize for economics. You would think that would be qualification enough.

I spent an hour one evening listening to a lecture he gave, and was impressed, impressed, impressed. Because even I could understand what it was about.

So why isn't he on the team?

Did I 'mention' he got a Nobel prize? Oh yeah, the Village people love them some wankers and don't like people who tell the truth.... Sigh.

oh, Oh, OH! Eva Longaria and Nicolette Sheridan in Vienna!

Just kill me now, and I will go out there and die happy.

If Marsha Cross were to join the party, I WOULD go out with dozens of red roses and kneel at her feet and try to present them to her, but that is another story....

Ok, background....

The Opera Ball in Vienna is THE event of the year. And out there, they have this crazy guy who is in construction, has a mall, and is rich, rich, rich. But the hoi-polloi of Vienna society doesn't really like him. Not really. They have the longest noses they can look down at those whom they don't like... He's a smart businessman, made tons of money.... but doesn't have the 'manners', you know?

So what the guy DOES, is buy one of the most expensive Loges at this event, and hires Hollywood stars to 'walk' and make a news splash. The hired ones have to give autographs at his mall on the afternoon beforehand. And he spends like crazy, just to shine for this one evening, is usually in his cups, and makes an ass of himself.

(A Loge at the Vienna Opera Ball is so astronomical..... you would throw up at the price, believe me. And have been there often for other things, and the prices made me balk.)

So THIS year.... he wanted to hire Eva Longoria, but she got a better offer and is supposedly coming to Vienna. So he hired Nicolette Sheridan. Better known as Gabrielle and Evie on Desperate Housewives.

I hope that they have tons of fun in Vienna. But Nicolette is really in for a schock. The Constructionist is the proletariat, and 'grob'.

She won't love it.

A Milch-Bubi, I Tell You! Act II

So after the first part, time to see to Peter. He had someone from social services coming to see him about going into a home, and the person finally gets there, and WHADDAYA KNOW, hey, they sent a Milch-Bubi! Milch means milk, Bub, means young boy, and Milchbubi means he hasn't grown a beard yet, or had much experience in life.

Ok, ok, am being ageist, was completely off the charts after my 'examination', and so on. But the person arrives and is a KID. To my eyes. Peter needs a middle-aged, kick-ass experienced person who can hang out the Big Daddy and read him from the Book of Leviticus. As we say, 'Die Leviten lesen.' Lay down the law, in other words.

And who shows up? A mere child... I did a jaw dropper and went into the kitchen. And steamed for an hour. Not to mention that he got two sentences out of his mouf, and my gaydar went into the red zone, and I thought, 'oh, no, please! He'll eat him alive, in the sense that he'll 'razzle-dazzle' him. Not good....'

What sort of Big Joker In The Sky plans these things, and what the fuck did I DO to deserve them?

Did I mention I hate Mondays? Now ya know why....

Bloody Hell.... They send him a Milch-bubi!

Mondays aren't usually good days for me.

But this one... will have to get a record for being obnoxious.

First there was the all-important meeting with a doctor who was given the order from the pension people to 'examine' me, and make sure I am completely dotty, and invalid, because I am still too young to get a pension. And not simulating, or something of that sort. (Right, my nerve costume isn't exactly like Coco Chanel at present, and looks more like Emmet Kelly's hobo outfit at the moment. (Young readers won't get that last reference. He was a famous clown, and the suit was full of holes.)

My appointment was at the ungodly hour of eight am, way across town. Two busses, one transfer. Two of the first I needed wouldn't let me on---overcrowded due to all the kids on the way to school.

So I had to hoof it and get my ass to the transfer site, about twenty minutes' walk away. Then keep an eye out for my stop, because am really not so familiar with that part of town. Good thing I gave myself an hour, because I didn't find the offices right away. But I got there at two minutes' to eight. (I have this 'thing' about being punctual... anal retentive, I know...)

And then I had to wait ten minutes to see the doctor, pretty good as far as that goes. It gave me time to check his diplomas. 'American School of Neurology'.

And I thought, 'oh-oh, one of them. Which only means he is probably not going to be gay-friendly, just like the first one, Dr. Klaus, who had lots of 'Jeebus Can Save You' leaflets in his holistic waiting room for mostly cancer patients. I made him so uncomfortble, he passed me on.

Now this made me even more uneasy than I was already.

Whatever, there he was, of a certain age, you know, middle but undefinable... And the first thing out of his mouf was 'Why don't you want to work any more?' Well, at least he was to the bloody point.... And I said, 'I just can't cope any more, especially with stress, I have had too much stress these past few years. '

'Why? When did this begin?'

So began with the stroke Peter had, cut got off... 'I don't want to know about him, I want to know what is bothering you.' (Uh-huh, one of them.) 'Well if I define myself through him after thirty years, it is about me, and listen.' After that it went fairly ok, although there was a lot of sparring, and some very bitchy comments on his part. (Picture the self-hating Harold in The Boys In The Band', and you got it.)

So I guess I was telling truth to power, but he was pissing me off. And I did tell the truth, all of it that you can squeeze into fifty minutes.... And didn't tell one lie. He got me so exasperated, and he comes up with, 'your hands are shaking.' And I said, 'Ive always been a nervous sort of person.' (Thinking, 'only because I want to throttle you till you turn blue in the face, you pompous asshole...')

I was livid inside. And then I played the total truth card. 'Lately, and more and more often, I just keep thinking about just ending it all.' And it is true, I do. 'You think about suicide...' 'Yes.'

And then the killer, because he didn't believe me..... 'How would you do it?'

'Oh, that is easy enough. Just borrow Peter's pen and shoot up enough insulin to do the job.' Nothing better than the truth, hey... and it wouldn't be 'messy'.

That is when he sort of changed his demeanor. And got VERY uncomfortable. Said I need counseling. (righhttt...) If he was uncomfortable before, he was squirming till then. He asked me, I answered, and did't tell even one little lie. Wanker.

And said I would soon hear from the pension people.

Only I have the feeling I am gonna be hearing from some very unpleasant people soon. You know, go to a therapist they assign you, leave you up in the air status-wise, and otherwise fuck around with your life.

Can we say it was 'irritating'?

Will put act two in the next post....

I am so clueless at the momet....

Why the fuck do I get so emotional, huh?

It is not as I PLANNED it, or anything....

But I do...

It is my mother's genes... Whoa! Take off and see if you can hit MARS, bitchez....

Uh-huh.

Somehow... I think I am gonna crash, with no one left living on board.

Ain't life just swell...

Just tired, and going under the bed.

Am still devastated.

Hope your day was better.

But shit, who knows, right?



Anyone wanna 'GUDDLE?'

You wanna talk about nervous breakdowns? I absolutely lost it on the street a few moments ago...

Nobody paid attention to a nearly sixty year old man bursting out into tears on the street... as if that happens often...

Did I mention I had a difficult morning?

You'd better believe it. And then some.

I was more than embarassed, but it happened to be a very emotional morning.

I got woken after being up half the night. And am always the fucking Grinch if I haven't slept enough.

It being Saturday, I had to get enough groceries to last till Monday, and I fucking HATE that.... You'd think I would have learned to be used to it by now, but no, I HATE it.

Monday I have to see a doctor and be your absoloute emotional wreck so that I can retire on a pittance. Was working on it. Except I didn't need to.... Outside circumstances can be stressful to the point of you nearly losing it. (Your composure)

Yeah, there have been people who have designated me a 'drama Queen' and so forth and so on.... Can I help it if I take things to heart? I'd rather be emphatic than some very cold somenabitch.

But that isn't what it was about, Preciousses. You KNOW the rules.... Boys don't cry. Which has created a huge identity problem the past few days. I do not.... except every ten years when everything gets so overwhelming that I break down. He has a date with some Caritas person. It didn't 'bother' me one way or the other, actually.

Today he told me why. He doesn't know what is in or out any more. And wants to go into a home. He has NEVER told me what he was planning to do ahead of time. It was always a fait accompli, and swallow the fucking toad.

On the one hand, I was so relieved. So relieved.....

I SO wanted to have him do that, as pitiful as it is. I am so glad he at least recognises he needs help around the clock, and so mortified that he fucked it all up again.

But on his own this time.

I was so afraid of hurting him. The leaking plumbing, because he couldn't get to the wc fast enough. The smell.

If we go back 32 years... that was the most fastidious person I have EVER met. I was the one who was sorta sloppy, and not that meticulous, and I fell the fuck in-love.

Was lucky. 'In-love' normally lasts a few months. It lasted a couple of decades with me, and yes, there come some crashes, breaches of trust, and so on... people become ill, and that is the test, and you are there for them. And you hold them, and be there for them. Peter never left me one day alone when I was ill and in hospital. He was always there for me. And I never left his side since his stroke. It is what you fucking do.

And those were the things that counted.

The rest is pretty petty, whatever anyone may think....

And yes, we can be petty when we do not get our way, or obstacles seem to be so great that we think we can't overcome them...

But we always did. Till now.

When you realise you can not do it any more.

And THAT is fucking devastiting.

So I fucking cried, ok?

Thirty-two damned years. Sometimes funny, so funny that it hurt to try to stop laughing, sometimes very hurtful, although I do not think it was intentional.

Thirty-two years is a long time. And no, will not leave him alone. Ever. He's my life-partner.

This morning I learned that a former colleague lost her son. He was very sick from birth on. His grandfather is still shaken.

And then Peter''s 'revelation'.

And all this sadness made me cry in public. Anyone want to sign me up to the Mayo Clinic? Yeah, right.... You just gotta get through all the crap.

Please go to Mark of the Beast and see what Terrible posted today

And click on the YouTube he put up.

And then YOU tell me.... Where the fuck is the harm being done?

As to his moniker on the Internets.... Terrible is NOT terrible, although I think he might wish to be....

And very straight.

And has a heart, which is more than I can say for a lot of people.

So what are you hanging around here for? Go read, and look! Jeez....

Jeebus H. Christ... I just had the weirdest dream....

And nope, it wasn't 'adult'....

It was about my great-nieces. And me telling them about their fambly, and where they came from, and mostly about their great-great grandparents, and what they taught me....

So that they would know about their family. My grandparents were very keen on that, knowing where you come from. Not all of them, just two. My paternal grandfather was very proud that his great grandfather came from.... well, Ireland, but he was English. But he fell in-love with an Irish woman in Cork, which is why he had to leave the island, and go to Murka in the first place. He was in direct line to take the title of Earl, which is the lowest branch on the totem pole, but what the hell, my grandfather used to swell with pride telling me that story.

His grandfather rode with the post taking monies up in the Northeast, and got shot by robbers.... but seemingly got away, and never let them get the booty. Gawd, was he proud of that. Unfortunately, the guy died.

Lesson? Never NEVER let anyone fuck you over.

My Grandfather retired just when my father was looking for someone who could be a mother to us, and decided as first project to read the Bible, front to back. It was a very old family Bible, with a lock on it.

He was so outraged over the Old Testament, he did a rant. 'That book of HORRORS!' And decided that no child should ever get to see anything in it, and kept it locked.

Now everyone knows that if you are a curious child, you are gonna wait for the opportunity to check it the fuck out. Ooooo..... )))))forBIDDEN((((. And of course, my inquiring little mind wanted to know. So of course I went looking when it was unlocked. He'd given me some tags to look for that had sent him off the charts for OUTRAGE. 'David and Jonathan' 'The Book of Ruth'. So I was right in there, with my eight year old mind....

And I couldn't figure it out, what was so 'wrong' or horrible about it. I thought the texts were beautiful.

(Bells ringing, anyone? You don't make choices, you just ARE.)

Whatever, my grandfather was very cool. And his thing was instilling a sense of family pride in his grandchildren. That you walk tall, and keep your fucking head up.

My maternal grandmother was also a stickler for 'where we come from'. She could go on for hours, with the pictures to prove it, so to speak. From southern France, via Canada, farming, and then down to NH to work in the mills. She was so religious.... oh well, wtf, she really botched it. My grandfather on that side.... loved him. He didn't give a fuck about heritage, or anything. And found me too serious. So he would come AT me and tickle me, and try to cheer me up and be a child, and yell, 'Hey, you old stick-in-the-mud!' He died of a heart attack way too early, and I loved him muchly.

I threw up at his wake. The beginning of a long disaffection for hypocrisy.

Whatever, I was dreaming. Who the hell is going to tell my great-nieces, huh? Wonderful stories, funny anecdotes, and so on. I really think it would be something good to pass on what you know, where you come from, and so on.

But am not the one to do it. In the dream, I did, just downed the drama for their age. And I have never dreamed about them before. Came out of the blue.

(Shakes himself off) Dreams are totally weird. And yeah, have read Freud.

Update Number TWO: I do not wish to have people get the wrong impression. It was just a fucking dream.... Butcha KNOW.... I do not think it is a BAD thing at all.. To have your folks tell you where the hell you came from, and make you a bit proud about it. A 'bit'. It doesn't matter, really, but it gives you a bit of sense of who you are, you know?

Am really freaking out here.

My family was my family... once upon a time.

Wanna rumble about that? Some assholes have.....

Update Number One: What the Fuck was I thinking about while dreaming? Never sleep on a full stomach. Absolutely weird.

Update number three: If you go OUT into the world, one of the first things people are going to ask you is 'where do you come from?' Guaranteed. And I am SICK and TIRED of people taking me for a Russian, due to my name. I am TIRED, I tell you, TIRED of telling people that it is English. And no relation to the assassinated guy in Russia who was the doctor to the Czar and his family.

So I have to go back to Webster's Dictionary. I stumbled upon my name. It was in the famous 'To Be, or not to be' monologue in Hamlet. I was in the fifth grade, and thought
Oh...

I didn't particularly like the term 'bare' in front of it, but what the hell, it was Shakespeare.

Ok, this is my fifth day with my adopted infant....

No, I do not have a name for it. I do not usually name objects. Lazarus was special, and he EARNED that name, dying all the time, then coming back to life. But the new kid is fast. After a month of Lazarus trudging through the Internets at the not-so-breathtaking speed of 2 kmh, faster than a pony, but not exactly what DSL is supposed to be like, the new kid is a breath of fresh air. Although... suddenly going at 250 kmh on the Internet Autobahnen can be a bit bewildering. (smile). Of course it is taking a while to get all the programms installed that I want, but that is how it is.

But since the 'kid' is new, it should have a name, in case I have to yell at it, and tell it what to do. It is a cross between Fujitsu and Siemens. So for the time being, it is Baby Fu... till it reaveals its' real personality....

Maybe it will become 'Kong Fu', who knows?

We shall see.

Last evening, it let me catch up on all the last Steven Colbert episodes. The Feb 4 episode had me holding my sides with laughter. That man is nothing short of brilliant. And I love John Stewart also, but he can grate on my nerves. Colbert often makes me do a jaw-dropper.

Larry King had the usual suspects on his show yesterday. The Depression that no one wants to call a Depression, and Barack seems to have grown a pair, and isn't up to playing games. Good on him. Caylee Anthony finally seems to have gotten buried. OK. Suze Ormond was being her usual concern troll self, and her voice still grates on my nerves like a fingernail on a chalkboard, and the tapes of flight 1549 which landed in the Hudson were released.

Actually, I was glad I had something other to do and made lunch in the kitchen while listening to the blathering idjits.

Oh well, now off into the void.... have a good day, everyone.

Ok, is it just ME, or is something wrong with these people?

Am curious. Wanna know... And that GUY in the picture, and his left hand?

Let me tell ya. If I would have done that in high school, I would be DEAD now....

Not a joke.

But the Rethug arseholes get away with EVERYTHING!

How fucking nice....

Gay people have something they call 'gaydar', It is something intuitive. You can't smell it, see it, feel it.... butcha just 'know'...

The worst ones just deny. And hurt a lot of people, seemingly..

And they are always the ones who do the most damage.

Fucking cowards.....

Oh boy, it is worse than I could have imagined....

What the hell do parents think when they send their children off into the blue.... Makes me sick.

This YouTube interview is sickening.

I was gonna do a post about this, but got the flu...

And then Pam just dug out all the crap, and it was even worse than seeing that sumenabitch on tee-vee with his 'wife' playing the perfect family, and giving us one full hour of bull-shit on Larry King. And I do NOT feel, and did not feel sorry for that woman for one second. Women KNOW...

And every time I see that sickening mouth of his smiling at the most inappropriate moments, I want to smash a fist into that hypocritical mouf.... Asshole.

Ted Haggard should go to the bottom of the shit pile and never get a voice on national tee-vee ever again. I do not understand the fascination with that hypocrite.

And today we had 'That Serb' on Larry King, Zdravko Blagojevich.... whining. (Oh yes, they call him 'Rod', but it isn't his given name.) So innocent, hey. He has that hair sweep so that you can't see what a neanderthal hair-line he really has. And then an editor from the Chicago Trib, actually says, 'That was par for the course in Illinois politics, but he got caught.' Uh-huh....

I could just throw up. And ask myself, why do I even WATCH this shit?

This post just blew me away, and I stole it....

From Joe.My.God

It is from the last century, about AIDS, and boy howdy, did I ever go through that.... And yes, I know it was a long time ago. But these words and intentions don't just apply to that time. They can apply to everyone. If you have been close to anyone, and really loved them, and they begin to decline, and you can't stop it happening... these are ten things you should take to heart.

It made me cry, and at the moment I cannot stop. Damned internets....

I Will Hold You Ten Times

As longtime readers may know, there are four or five JMG entries that I repost every year. This is one of them. My dear friend Daniel Johnson, who threw the most kickass Groundhog's Day birthday parties for himself, would have been 52 years old today. His was a life that burned brightly and I am illuminated still. Daniel Johnson, 1957-1997.

I Will Hold You Ten Times

1. I will hold you, Daniel

2. The lesions don't bother me. I will hold you.

3. I will pretend nothing is wrong when you want me to pretend and when you want me to hold you, I will hold you.

4. I will make plans with you to go to your favorite places that we both know you can no longer go and I will sit with you and look at your pictures of these places and I will hold you.

5. I will ride with you on the train to your doctor's office and when you get sick in the station, I will hold you.

6. I will see the Post-It notes you put all over the house reminding yourself to do everyday things like "Turn off stove" and "Lock front door", and I'll pretend the disease isn't robbing your mind and when you tell me something for the third time in ten minutes, I won't let you know, I will hold you.

7. I will go to Safeway with you because you need to get out into the world, and when the diarrhea overwhelms you and you shit your pants in the middle of the store, I will call us a cab and in the cab, I will hold you.

8. I will make you mix-tapes of our favorite songs from last summer, just like you asked me to, and when the memories make you sad instead of happy and you throw the tapes in the trash, I won't get angry, I will hold you.

9. I will sit up all night with you because the fevers and night sweats won't let you sleep. In the morning, I'll change your drenched sheets and help your out of the shower and when you weep from the sight of your withered body in the mirror on the bathroom door, I will hold you.

10. I will hold you, Daniel.

(Originally from a journal I was keeping in the 90's. Special thanks to my SF pal Robert for reminding me of today's date.)

Good news, bad news... whatcha gonna do?

I got such a kick out of this graffito. Original title in the ballooon... 'I know what you did last summer...' I found it fun, but I'd call it 'I know what you were doing last month, while I was freezing my arse off, and Lazarus could take up to an hour to load a page let alone allow me to post much of anything....' Oh yes, give me a Uzi!!!!! Please please pretty please! Or a tire iron to threaten the people at the Computer Klinik, or a wood-chipper, anything to make it stop!!!!

But we needn't get into that any more, thank goodness.

So, the good news. Our heating system finally got changed, and was converted from gas to oil. Which means my bill goes from €92,00 per month to €30.00 Now THAT is very good news indeed. And Fuck Putin and the UKIES.....

The bad news? The infant died in the clinic. Only six weeks old, hey. Poor baby. After a month in intensive care. An organ short circuited and they couldn't fix it. So I got offered a new notebook. For €400.00. A Fujitsu. Without a Betriebssystem. So I was supposed to install Windows 98 on it, or whaaa? And did I want Windows XP Pro on it, or Vista, it would cost €100.00 more. Uh. HUH. After they massacred my infant, and can probably harvest it for organ parts? I suddenly recalled my roots, and got my granite face on, and my dangerous eyeball look that says, 'Wha, you tryin' to fuck me over, here, Or What???? ' (I rarely have occasion to do that, but haven't forgotten how.) Whereupon he offered to install Windows XP for me free of charge. It hurt muchly in the financial pocket, but it was pretty stupid of me to place the infant near a top-heavy lamp in the first place. So much for that....

So I got an adopted child.... new, and all. He is space-challenged, only 35 gigas free as opposed to my infant who had 120 and should have been in the Mensa category. And he is a foreigner, but that doesn't matter to me, actually. He just needs coddling, is all.

He crawls so fast through the internets, it takes my breath away, and can hardly keep up....

And being a ferner, he has an odd keyboard, that I have to get used to yet again.

It is a good thing to know a couple of languages.... just sayin'

So.... Good news, bad news... yin and yang.... what the hell... life.

And oh yes.... my neighbor W. He is going to go ape-shit on me when he finds out. He went into foreign legionnaire rage when I told him about the clinic. And demanded I take the infant home and he would resucitate him. Uh-huh. PC's in a coma are like people.... they do not usually wake up again. And die in fits of cramps. Unlike Lazarus. He'll be offended, and offensive, am sure.... But he has a sort of protective attitude toward me. Although I am everything he says he doesn't like...

Am not sure if that is good or bad news.....

It's a conundrum....

So let's see.... the infant died in the year of the rat, a very bad sign. My adoption is born in the year of the ox, which is my sign, and should bring good things.

I guess it is all in how you perceive it...

Well well well.... Ratzi probably IS the Antichrist....

The LAST time a pope orderded or ordained a bishop to a city in Austria, it was in St. Pölten, and the guy was so out of line that the congregation who hated him already they laid down on the entrance to the cathedral, and he had to walk over them to get it.And he did. He had to retire in disgrace, after some scandals involving the misuse of minors. But was so much 'fun', the media had him on the news all the time, and hung on his every word, and broadcast his opinions.

But that was under the last Pope.... Why were there no demos, then?

Ah ja.... The last bishop was just a pedophilic cover-up man who looked liked he belonged in a pig sty. Didn't matter.

He got coddled through it, and I have inner glee that he ended his life with a lot of women tending to him.... washing him, feeding him... it must have been his inner vision of hell. Good on him!

But then... there was THIS today....

It is interesting that the person in question belongs to the order of Pope Pius, you know, the one who betrayed the Jews in WWII... The one with the Harry Potter glasses. And there is an exhibition in Berlin about him who want to put him into a good light so they can create another saint, but the FACT is, he knew, had no balls, and let everyone die to save his nest egg.

And isn't it 'odd', that they put someone like that in Austria once again.

Maybe Michaelangelo Signorile got it right. (I thought it was hysterics when I first read it...

But I loved the drama of it..... Too bad my life took another turn...)

So.....

Things will go as they go.... People will believe what they believe.... but it would be NICE to know for once that they do not hurt OTHERS in what they believe spiritually. After all the horrible things that were seen these past weeks.....

I get left speechless.

I do not believe in any 'Ju-Ju in the Sky', or anything, really. I kind of pity people who do. But it it is about controlling you, doing whatever somene thinks up for the good of a community, and if you aren't with the programme, you aren't 'one of them'....

Most times, it is fine to be with the community. But it can be also good if you think for yourself.

I haven't had an easy day.... so good night...

Update: I'm serposed to go stand in the coldest corner of my room at 11 degrees C and stand there nekkid till my balls climb up into my abdomen, and never come out of it till I say I am sorry for the original typo in the title. No, she didn't say that, but that is what would have come of her anger, have no doubt.... And no, it wasn't a typo. Annti has become hard-wired to the hard drive in my head, that it just came out of my fingertips. And yes, Annti is love. The other is bad. (slaps his double-crossing hands...) Can I come out of the corner now?

Well, well, well.... so much for fucking accountability

Yes, very nice that they wanted to bring Guantanamo to an end, very laudable....

But as USUAL, with the US, they want to shunt everything off to their 'Allies'.

The big news which has caused a firestorm of discussion here is that they are demanding that the EU countries take over the current detainees, and deal with them.
EXCUSE ME, PLEASE? How was that again?

Have had the flu for the last thirty-six hours, so maybe it is a fever dream, but no, was just on the news again. Have been hot and cold, and need to get back to bed, and don't have time to Google, but I can't remember anyone over here greeting the creation of Guantanamo. On the contrary, the indignance was off the charts for angry.

So is that the solution? We take all these poor people who have been mistreated for up to eight years, and 'deal' with them?

Good luck to anyone who tries to do THAT.

And all I have to say is the old addage, 'YOU BROKE IT, YOU FIX IT OR PAY FOR IT.'

And THAT is accountability. Asking us to put the shards back together is incredibly arrogant.

Got another fever coming on, so will be blessedly short-winded.

Tja 'necessary' things happening, and things that can be angering. Business as usual.

I hate it when I get sarcastic, and prove to be right...

Early Wednesday, looking at the re-hash of the inauguration over at Peter's on multiple tee-vee channels, and trying to warm up, I suddenly caught on to the flub in the swearing in of the oath thing, and told him, 'Oh fuck, want to bet some people aren't going to recognise him because he got it not quite right?'

It was a fucking joke on my part, by the way. Imagine my horror to wake up this morning and find this NON-STORY all over the papers, the tee-vee channels from CNN to Austrian and German stations to Al Jazeera. Petty? Pathetic. And it has begun... Faux News really rode it, but thank whomever we don't get to see them here any more.

President Obama did hit the ground running. 'They' are not going to give him one break, let alone one hundred days... (Or what have YOU been smoking???) The last ball guests hadn't gone home yet, and it began.

(You have to remember that because of the time difference, we get the brunt of yesterday's news a day later.... Unless you are up late at night, as I often am....)

There is a horrible journamalist on CNN in the London office we see here... He's a whiner of the first magnitude. And asked silly questions about expectations, and what he really can acheive, and his liberal intervieweees slapped him the fuck down. Negativism, pure negativism....

Adrian something or other. Petty. Whining. Nawsty.....

Al Jazeera was interesting today. I enjoy looking at 'Inside Story'. They picked apart President Obama's inauguration speech paragraph for paragraph, and discussed each one with experts from all over the Middle East, and England, and explained how they perceived it, and what it meant to them. Fascinating, just fascinating. Cautiously optimistic, little negative feedback.

Imagine my surprise to see a fairly long interview with Benita Ferrero Wallner, who was our Sec-State, and is now big in the European Union. As Sec-State, she was abysmal. Our Chanel-Barbie seems to have learned a lot in the past few years. As Christian Dem, I disliked her muchly. But today she impressed the shit out of me. Al Jazeera can be very confrontational with their questions. Which is what good journalism, REAL journalism, should be about.

She laid out what the policy line is, (it was about Gaza), wasn't sparing with critical words for both sides, but very diplomatic. As Austrian, that is one fine line to tread. She did very well, and went up some points in my estimation.

Whatever, on a more tongue-in-cheek note.... we lost our last Sec State in the last formation of our government a few mothths ago. Princess Sparkle Pony is gonna be without a job. He is a blogger out of DC, and luuuuuvvved him some Ursula Plassnik. She is tall, blonde., smart, a full-blooded diplomat, elegant, and did a lot of good, and was very respected by all sides of the spectrum. PSP sort of fell in love with her. And used to post photos of Condi's faux pas in fasion, juxtaposed to the 'fabulous' 'Ushi'. Hokay, whatever gets you off, found it strange, but have immense respect for the woman. Ushi, not the pianist.)

So, you see? There ARE other things going on in the world.....

Oh yes.... for the fluff, Aretha Franklin was on the tube. She was not happy with her performance, defended her hat, (and my gay gene has to come to the fore here, and yelled, 'What were you thinking, lady???) But the voice.... If I had my druthers..... I would have wished that she would have sung 'Respect'. That really woke me up, and there are a lot of people who need that right now.

So what can we gather? There are a LOT of mean people out there in Never-Never Land. I hope those in power stay on course, and stick by their principles.

Well, nice party... What is next?

There were many moments that moved me.

Huddled in a blanket, cursing inwardly at the idiocy of my landlords changing the heating system in the coldest period of the year, and shivering.

Not fun.

But still, was moved...

Because I was thinking of my siblings, and their children, and how important that must have been to them all.

No, they do not talk to me any more.

But I like most of what I saw, and seemingly, so did the rest of the world. That is comforting....

Not up to posting much more, it is too cold, feel miserable, and WHERE IS MY CHICKEN SOUP?

Huh, gotta make it myself----as usual.

I think the guy will do ok... if not phenomenal...

just when you think there is some sortof conciliation-.-.-.-They give you a band-aid instead of a tourniquet-....

Bishop Gene Robinson from New hampshire was asked to give an invocation at the Lincoln Memorial last night.

He is Anglican, and gay. He was suposed to be the band-aid. Because of them inviting the insidious, gay-hating, right-wing Rick Warren to give the invocation at the inauguration tomorrow. Because they are all incuclusive, god dammit... Right...

I have seen the text. It is provocative, but true. And hardly insulting to anyone else. It was conciliatory.

But no.... the tee-vee programme eliminated that, and at the live event, most of the half-million people couldn't hear him.

And supposedly, it was Barack's decision.

My personal dream is to have all the people at the inauguration stick their fingers in their ears,and scream, 'Can't HEAAR You, LA, La, La! Nope, CAN'T HEAR you, you sons of bitches.. and bastards,' when Rick Warren decides to spread his hate and gets covered by fucking Larry King, and thank whomever I can't get Faux neews....

It is about adding insult to injury.

How odd... How queer.... I KNOW for a fact that many gay people helped him get elected.

And I am angry.....

Inclusive? Uh-HUH....

It is NOT about the inauguration. He is gonna fuck us over, just like everyone else has before.

Things got better, but not good enough.

Thank you, Barack. That makes me feel like the new nigger of the century. The one who gets ostracised, only it was all my life, too, so I can USE the word. And I never USE that word.

But that is how it makes me feel.

Thank you, Barack... I fled your hating country decades ago, and am happy to live in a country where I can walk down a street and not get KILLED for my perceived sexuality.

Not that I hang it out...

Ohh, you have FUN tomorrow..

But you know WHAT? You will never get a fucking cent from me. EVER.

Ok.. someone came up with a good idea the past couple of days....

If the Israelis do not want to make nice.... boycott them.

If they want to have 'special status' Hokay..

It isn't as if they got a long ride on their history. But wehen the basically tell the Un with BOMBS, 'fuck you to hell', they lose my sympathy. International laws are supposed to be KEPT, not broken.

So yes, boycott them. Not that it is going to happen... But it would be right.
I am ont on any 'side'.... But this has been wrong, right from the beginninhg. That Israel would be the worst aggressor isn't surprising....

Let's make up a hypthetical case here.... I used to live in a fifteen sqare meter room. Fifteen years ago. Lots of Middle East people there. So what if I were to go back there, and take out a UZI and fuck them over, and say, 'This is MY home, you mo-fo's' That is a 'solution' that guarantees death and destruction for you All, and get out of my fucking house.'

And you would be pretty pissed off

I do not wish anyone on this planet hurt in any way, but what I have seen in the last three weeks are war crimes. Should we all turn away, because they suffered so much in the past?

Kill as many as you can?

What is a sane answer?

It all disgsts me.... and gives me headachesl...

Just when you think ýou get a respite..,.. you get a cold snap...

Happened three hours ago, and my thermometer went limp as if my dick was all ready, and my testicles decided to hibernate for the winter in my abdomen, and it went as limp as a wet noodle on a chilly rainy day in June. Not that I have ever experienced that, mind you, but imagined....

So I had to turn on the space heater. Oooooo Money....

I really should have called this blog 'I HATE my LIFE', and got it over with.

It will have been a YEAR since I got squeeeezed out of my job. One I really loved, if not my bosses... Yes, I know, I have a lack of respect, and am moufy, but the latter never without just cause.

So... the wild things who DECIDE things hammered me into meeting with an 'expert' in early February. And decide if I can retire...

Hokay...

I was surfing on Peter's box the other day and ran across a really crass station, RTL.... And there was this horrible thing on there... Mitten im Leben, 'in the middle of your life'. uh-huh...

So... there is this thirty-nine year old gay hairdresser, whose own hair looks like, 'ok, not gonna vist this guy' who is unemployed. And a guy who is fourty-one, a retired fire dept. guy, and an idjit.

And this channel has the BALLS to show their drama queen idiocy on the tee-vee. OOOooooo... jealousy, fights, it was so below the belt and denigrating to the rest of the community I nearly barfed.

Gawd, I could top that any day of the week. 'Hamas! Hamas! Hamas! You are an Islamist!'

'Just shut up and eat your soup.'

It takes over thirty years to get to the point where you can't say that..

Believe me... And it IS a game, where you duel...

Life is a fucking JOKE.

NOW I am upset...

This morning I got the dubitable surprise of seeing the Israelis bomb a UN depot with food, medical supplies, and fuel... How do they survive at all? Isreael has always been paranoid... But this went beyond the pale of anything....

And they HATE the UN. Because they are such 'victims'. Well, you can overdo it, you know?

But they seemed to have learned well... They are turning Gaza into an open-air Auschwitz.

More and more reports are coming in about the use of white phosphrous bombs. Just burn them alive, hey, who needs ovens any more? It was illegal. International law. And the US has used them in Iraq.

George Dumbya Bush set the tone, you can go in and kill everyone if you have the fire power. And if they do not agree with you, wipe them out. Ignore international law, treaties and all agreements.

By breaking international agreements and treaties, he set the fucking world on fire. Amomg other things....

So should we be surprised? No-.... Just business as usual, and big business is going down the tubes, and no wants to say it is the big D-.-- 'Recession?' Give me a break.... IT IS a DERESSION, and everyone is in denial...

I do not know what this whole thing is about, but it fucking KILLS me to see tiny children wounded in the most horrible way, and dead.Anmd can only say,

Peter says that is what war is, and blames everything on Hamas.

The only analogy to the whole thing is if I were to go to my fifteen square meter room which I lived in, and with a UZI, and say, 'Hey get the fuck out of here, this was MY place twenty years ago, and I am claiming it back. And youse guys can go into the WC area., and camp out there....

And if you dare to come in here, I will kill you thirty times over, And your children, and THEIR children snd their children to the end of all our days---- Because this is MY appartment.

Somehow I wouldn't think I am processing info and thinking clearly----

What the fuck is crazier?

Am fucking disgusted.

And can only say, 'shame!' I am disgusted.

Ok Dumbya is on his farewell tour.....

Scrambling to 'correct' his image, as if that were posssible... With his Stepford Wife Laura.

And who subjected us to this one hour free-for-all? The incredible Larry King.

I did not want to watch. I did not. Peter made me tune it in, he wanted to see the atrocities up live and close. But I got something pout of it....

John Stewart's creepy laugh when he makes fun of him? I fell apart. Because it is always inappropriate. John Stewart is a genius.

And very percpetive....

And NOTHING Dumbya was tee-heeing about was funny in the least...

Laura is some kinda bitch. A lot of 'Oh, George didn't KNOW....' Uh huh. Because that mofo passed out on the couch after eight pm, and the DARKIES had to carry him upstairs??? Just conjecture....

And Larry? He should have given up years ago. We had a very interesting and colorful Chancellor here. Bruno Kreisky. And he didn't LIKE people who would suck up to him., and termed them Mastdarmakrobaten. Lower intestinal acrobats. It caused a huge uproar, but he knew what he knew, and was being a Grinch. And put them in their place. I admire what he did to this day, although am not so hot on some of his policies....

And that is what King has become, a Mastdarmakrobat.....

People keep talking and writing about the blogs, but the real power is those who drive the news, decide what is important, and that is the story line for the day.

So thank whomever for the internets.

Now today.... I saw a report that an extended family in Gaza got herded into a building, and then the Isaelis blew it up, and all inside, and no it was not from AlJazeera....

There are a lot of mind-games going on, out there...

Oh yes, it was fifty minutes into the 'show' and he had the BALLS to ask about Katrina. A soft-ball, because you don't want to anger the presidink.

I threw up.

Jan 20th can't come fast enough...

He thinks he did well, Laura, was ANGRY, you see, because her asshole husband got branded as a racist. Well good luck with that one honey... After buying a new home in Dallas that was always segregated, and only WHITE. Whaa?????? Georgie Porgie isnt gonna stand by his womin????

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Oh... ä

So... the Presedink got his last chance to give a pressie.

Thank whomever higher power for that....

I want to see him and Cheney, and Zip-it Livy, and Barack up in the Hague for war crimes. I do... I wanna see war crimes prosecuted, and accountability...

I wanna see the US condemned for using white phosphorous bombs on civilians in Iraq in Fallujah, and the Israelis dropping white phosphourous bombs on Gaza. Those weapons are against every international agreement, and a crime.

In a perfect world, someone would have got ridden of them... But the world isn't perfect.....

But what the fuck.... Bush opened fire on s sovereign country. Against someone his father put into place. (Talke about fucked up families.) And broke all international laws.

Well, that fucker set a precedent. Lawlessness.

And a HUGE amount of racism.

Oh, yes, he was a piece of work, all right....

And now? Everyone in the fucking world is going to emulate what he did. 'You can break the rules, because the US says it is ok? They can talk about democracy, until they do not like who those people elect? Bomb them with white phosphorous very clear. AND THAT, my Preciouses, is what the Israelis are doing. White phosphorus. Forbidden. Invading and starving people? Forbidden.

I could go on and on, but it sickens me to my soul.

There is so much wrong with this picture, I can't deal with it any more.

'If wishes were horses, beggars would ride' Right-

WHY the FUCK do we have international agreemnents, when anyone or any body decides to break them and not get punished Why? I do not particualarly care who it is...

It is clear---- They so what they do.

And THAT is DUMBYA's legacy. Fuck 'em all and leash terra on da world.

RIght...

Did I SAY it got COLD here???

God, I hate to be redundant.... My fingers are so numb still, that I can't do the keyboard so well any more at the moment....

Frost.... did I mention frost on the air?

I got some damage there, way back when...

When I got up, the apt. had 12 C... like upper 40's there. With a chill on the air, and I didn't have a chimbley to sit in front of like Scrooge.... ( I KNEW I liked that too much...)

So I had to turn on the space heater, whether I liked it or not...

There is such a frost on the air.... Peter insisted going out, and do his rounds. I didn't wanna. By the time we got back, he was a whimpering, 'it's so COLD!' person, and I was wheezing...

What FUN....

Yes. Preciousses... my heating is kaputt. And I lose one degree a day, because it is so fucking cold outside, and the system can't compensate for it. And oh, yes, they were gonna renew the heating system LAST SPRING. Now how is that for a kick in the pants.

I HATE cold winters, and having to put on layers of clothes, and having to stay warm, and the tip of your nose goes cold, and the tips of your fingers feel frozen for hours, because you got frostbite on them when you were young.

Peter gave me some gloves... Worse than cold. The frost goes into the individual fingers and the cold gets in even worse. I need mittens...

Hmm... Heat rises. The space heater has got the upside temp to 18 degrees, so why are my feet so cold, huh?


Ok, things pass...

And yes, am a fucking wuss... Except... this cold wave has lasted over three weeks now.

And I want to kill everyone responisble for that right now, we normally have mild winters...

The Banality of CNN

For nearly two weeks now, have been glued to world-wide tee-vee news. Most of the focus has been on events in the Middle East, as it should be.

But CNN? When the headlines come up, the anchors whine a lot... Because the Israelis won't let their journalist into Gaza. And they end up using footage that is coming out of there by journalists from Al Jazeera, somewhat sanitized.

As to Al Jazerra, English channel. Ok, they have a slant. BUT. They interview people from all sides of the conflict/war, and let them give their standpoints without interrupting. It can be very educational, letting people have their say. The moderators and journalists are mostly Brits. And they can be very tough whenever they get vague answers to mostly very tough questions they pose... My absolute favorite reporter is this guy named Aymon who is always in a flak jacket and helmet, and gives live reports from the roof of a building on the edge of Gaza City. It helps that he is very attractive, of course, but he seems to have his finger on the pulse of what is going on, and what people think and are experiencing...

Leaving aside the lower intestinal acrobat Wolf Blitzer, who has made me barf for the past decade or so with his sliming toady act, and has nothing to do with real reporting, let us take a really good look at Larry King Live this week. What has he had for subjects and people over the last few days? What is holding the Murkin public in thrall? It can leave you spitless.

Since I began counting.... Ok, 'Are UFO's REAL?' With some nutty physicists. (I believe I saw one in the late Sixties, and it was intriguing, and I know what I saw... but I went on with my life... So what? Whatever it was never attacked us. We were probably too unevolved to be interesting to them...)

Then came a full hour on the Travolta family's tragedy. There is a branch of journalism that is called 'Leichenfledderei' here. Stripping corpses. But there they were out in full force, drilling the coronor, the mayors of that place in the Bahamas, and Ocala Florida, Anybody who could be tangentially 'in the know'. That is when Peter piped up with, 'Why doesn't he address what is HAPPENING in the world right now?' For the first time... But no, they wanted to find some iggy dark sneakret in the Travoltas' lives and make them somehow culpable. And oh YES, the Scientology aspect. Whoo, boy, knocked my socks off.... NOT... We both found that one absolutely disgusting.

Then a full hour about Oprah Winfrey's weight problems, with commentary from her spiritual advisor, her personal trainer, her personal psychologist all bloviating-----about nothing. Poor woman, so successful, and sooooo unhappy. Ok...

Today we got a so-called bishop of a megachurch in Dallas. T. D. something or other. And just when he was asked about the Warren thing, my cell phone rang and I missed his answer. Probably to the good, I'd have had a fucking stroke. Then a segment on the ongoing Kaylee thing in Florida... murdered three year old... The state prosecutor is shrill. Peter complained about the tone of her voice. I opined that if someone's voice goes into that range, they are lying. And THEN.... a new case, missing young white boy who disappeared from his adoptive family ten years ago, and was only reported to the police NOW.

I have going on for years about how that channel got gutted and concentrates on sensationalism, and after Turner sold it, it morphed into some sort of Big Brother, keep the folks calm mode. One of my pet peeves is that they began concentrating on stupid stories specialising in missing WHITE women, perverse murders of small children, and so on. But the beginning of the end in my eyes was the OJ Simpson trial. There was so much else going on in the world, but it was OJ all of the time. I have read reports that the CIA had experts down in the main studio in Atlanta. They probably gave everyone lessons in psych-ops, and how to keep people complacent, just a conjecture...

What they are now doing is evil.

Tomorrow, (today, your time) OLD Larry is gonna have a helluva time interviewing Priscilla Presley, because Elvis would have been 75 tomorrow our time, and is gonna show stuff his fans have never seen. Which gave me a little shock... So what is she gonna show us, huh? The jock strap he wore to swim in? The vibrator he gave her for their fifth anniversary, with the original batteries intact? I do NOT want to know....

And I apologise for the tasteless sarcasm, but it falls in the category 'Leichenfledderei'.

So, Preciousses.... Is that all you want to know as the world is near to blowing up once again?

I used to admire Larry King. He interviewed heads of state in a way that made you feel you knew what made them tick.... Now? Either he is retrained from his producers, or he doesn't get it, or he is so 'inside the beltway' he still wants to be a STAR nowadays. The latter is pathetic.

Jeebus... it is so COLD!° And this year is not, absolutely NOT beginning well...

All the horridays began by blocking the week and falling on a weekend. That was back BEFORE December 24th, and the horridays began, and nothing got done.

So , went to find out what was happening with the infant in the infirmary, my notebook. Ooooo He was being tested for internal injuries.... To see if he was all right in two more days... He will be, the Klinik guy said...

You get horridays in Austria, you can just pack it in and go tent somewhere.... With a propane gas tank, and hope you stay warm.

And it has nothing to do with the RUSSIANS, who turned off our gas today, nor the gad-damed UKIES who would steal the white out of your eyes-... That is another story... My appartment is currently 16 degrees Celsius. And I just learned that I am going to have to take this for another two weeks. The system broke down. BUT..... it already broke down last winter.

And they said that it would be fully replaced last Spring. Only they didn't. And now it broke down in the coldest weeks of the year, and we get two days in two weeks without anything at all, and was told I should buy and electric heater for the time being. With WHAT, my good looks?

My gas prices alredy went from 56 Euros per months in four years... to 91 Euros per month this year. And So, I started checking with my neighbours to see if they need anything. The people next door are ok, they are on another system-....

And over next door to them in the mansard, to see if they were all right. It weas toasty roasty warm, and I said, 'can I warm up for a few minutes?' I explained what was going on... It was minus FIVE outside, Celcius, and that is very cold for us....

W's girlfriend immediately organised a 'blower' for me. No, not what you think.... A heater, and you can only turn it on for five minutes, or it will eat your elecricity bill to hell and back, but it works....

he went over to get it.

A is hugarian, not rumanian. So I regaled her with the only things I know in that language, which is very very difficult. 'Yes.' And room numbers. Becuause I did not want to look like an idiot when groups came in and ask for their keys, you know? She cracked up for laughing...

She put on some hungarian modern music while W was getting the heater, and wanted me to dance with her.

I am so fucking rusty and old, I felt ridiculous. At first she was kinda pushy, and I said, 'Hey I don't like to have the airbags hit me when I am driving, you know? ' Yes, that was crass, but she dances, boy how she dances...

So I watched her feet, and the rust fell off, and the music got into my blood, and I danced. It was fun like I haven't had in a long time, and harmless...

And she said, 'You dance like a gypsy.' I 'think' it was a compliment....

When I left I could hear her laughing.

So either I made a fool of myself, or she had fun...

I did...

Who cares..

Oh. My Gawwd.... He's back!

I'd like to KILL Lazarus at the moment, wheezy as ever, and slow as molasses on a cold winter's day. After giving him my version of the last rites, and all (i.e. a swift kick for abandoning me).

Man, does he groan and wheeze.

I just do not get it. At all.... But at least he is being ironic once again.... Aggravating? Believe it.

oh my, Eschaton reports that Austria just eated the Medicis!

Who would have thunk it?

RIP Lazarus McWheezy....

He died forever at 14:12 this afternoon. Seemingly forever, doesn't boot any more. So until I can get the infant out of the infirmary, will not be able to post much.... and am relegated to Blanche Dubois, and depending on the kindness of strangers.... What is next, a stay in Puntigam East, aka the nerve clinic?

Actually, I wanted to do a post on the war coverage Al Jazeera is currently doing, but you do not want to know what I think. Suffice it to say I get agitated and start yelling 'Zip it, Livni! and get your arrogant face off of my tee-vee screen!'

But am in a public place and can't do what I wish to....

Will be back to regular scheduling when the infant is back. Happy fucking New Year...

English as a second language...

I can laugh my ass off. Realy. I am, not being obnoxious... It tickles my funnybone.

Al Jazeera is a borne of things said that make me laugh. 'Gamgesters' 'Kenesset'

Ok, I know I am terrible. And have a sick sense of humour. But you kow what?

The winner has always been my boss. Perfect english with some flaws.....

Cheyenne Pepper. Not Cayenne... Well bring on the Indians, hey...

It got worse... Betty Fords.

Really.

And then the misporonounciation of Chivas Regal. It sounded like it was a bookcase.

And the Betty Fords? I never fucking corrected her. And if you didn't get it yet, it was petite fours.

She will go down in hysteria, believe me...

just when you think you are bloviating into the blogosphere..

The Reich Wing finds you.

Rethugs. Am getting spam. Daily. From innocuous names I never knew...

Bill Wilson. Something called 'The Daily Grind', another a Reich Wing whatever...

I just dump them into my spam list, and the Yahoo one isn't efficient. Those FUCKERS keep coming BACK.

It is obvious that they are the internet equivalenzt of suicide bombers.

No, haven't opened one. The last was tempting, with a header defaming the UAW, but I dumped it...

I assume that if you open one, Lazarus will be dead for good. Rats, and whores, my dears, that is what it is all about. Rats and whores..

Oh... now I am an Islamist....uh-huh...

Perter got a 'box' from the Telecom a few weeks ago, and you can watch the english version of Al Jazerra on it. Skeery..... Frightening.

It would be wise to send young children out of the room.

On the one hand, he yells about how N-TV doesn't cover what is happening in the Middle East. I fucking told him three times that CNN bought near to fifty percent of their stocks, and they have to report what they want us to hear. They used to be good....


The STATE tee-vee isn't any better, and everything here is slanted to the poor people in Israel who are getting bombs on the street. uh-huh... That is fine and good, but.... no one there is seeing what is happening in Gaza.

I am so SICK of seeing the 'collateral damage', babies, and young children half blown up. I am so TIRED of seeing grieving parents, and the coffins. Am so disgusted at the rage they always engender, on both sides....

And Peter? He turned into a fucking Republicunt. Cheering it on. And I am the fucking 'Islamist' because I have some sort of compassion.

And because I can still THINK, I'm an Islamist in his eyes.

We yell a lot.

'It is biased!'

'All news is biased, but if you know where it is coming from you can gain some truth from it.'

'It is one-sided!'

'Have you been listening? They put hard questions to BOTH sides, and they take the gloves off. '

'And you are an Islamist. You want everyone to wear horrible clothes and cover themselves up.'

(Whaaa?)

Now you know... Some days I do not like to get out of bed....

BUT... as soon as I go over, he demands that I turn on the box so he can see Al Jazeera.

Right----

This is to bring you all luck in the coming year...

These are your luck bringers for the coming year, so pick one....

A Very Telling Little Sentence....

CNN showed a puff piece yesterday.. about Obama in Hawaii at a take out restaurant, and in it he goes on about nutrition, and how you eat something nutricious first, but save a little room, because there's this terrific ice cream place across the street. And then he frowned slightly, and told a member of the fawning press with him

'You don't have to write that down.'

Like a schoolteacher, you know? (as in, 'Hey, it isn't gonna be on the test!' you know???)

The rest mentioned how the island was without electricity for eleven hours, and the Obamas were the first to be back on-line after. Now that is sort of bitchy. I hate to imagine what horror scenarios were going through the collective heads of the Sneakret Service during the black-out, I really do...

But that little sentence has stuck in my head the last day or so. The esteemed Duncan Black who has the blog Eschaton, has often gone ON about the phenomenon he calls 'journamalism'. Decrying the folks who are stenographers, and call themselves journalists, and swallow the cool-aid. Because they only survive if they are in with whoever is in power. Slavering Scribes of the Village, I call them.... Stenographers are not journalists, but the journamalists never figured that out.

So, that little sentence was a toss-off, to be sure, but am getting the feeling that Obama can be mighty sarcastic in a very oblique way, and doesn't suffer fools gladly. His reaction to the puppy questions already have shown that. Snark with style.

Maybe, just maybe, real journalists might get pushed to the fore in the coming years. That would be nice.... Frank Rich got something nearly right last week, but then he blew it totally in his final paragraphs. But for the most part it was illuminating... link here

(The last part had me hot under the collar and steam coming out of my ears...)

So now I am confused, Preciousses... What role are his advisors really playing here? Am not trying to make a mountain out of a mole-hill, no. But if you get to see the President elect unscripted, it is very interesting....

And that was a telling little sentence, for sure. Saw it twice on the tee-vee, and it reverbrated. Will the REAL Barack Obama now please stand up, as the old show used to say?

Update: Annti was kind enough to send me the following information about the power shortage I had not seen, so am adding it to this post.

"Actually, the electric company SENT A COMMERCIAL GENERATOR out to their rented vacation home AS SOON AS THEY LOST POWER, and Barry SENT IT BACK. He didn't want the special treatment, and knew that one night without power would never hurt them. He thanked the power company, said no thank you, and said that they were going to bed early. Look it up in the London Daily Mail, that's where I saw it, after the paparazzi invaded his very-private memorial service for his grandmother, since he'd missed the funeral. His sister and he were sprinkling her ashes into the ocean and the zoom lenses intruded, nonetheless. The power outage is covered much better, with more accurate detail about the time-line and his refusal of special treatment when his neighbors went without. The Secret Service did go and purchase two residential generators, but they never even cranked 'em up, because he didn't want to waste the gasoline and create the pollution. I'm no Barry-worshipper, but he showed a lot of gumption to not freak out over a little black-out, when he still remembers Gustav, Rita and Katrina. Please add this and the London Daily Mail to the post."

Well, horridays part one over....

So, two horridays gone by... Made a roast to get through them. One of my good ones I hadn't done in a long while....

You braise a piece of beef on all sides. Fill the bottom of a big casserole with thick slices of onion and two crushed garlic cloves. Set the roast on the onions. Add lots of carrot pieces and quartered potatoes sall around it. Add two small bay leaves, 12 peppercorns, 12 whole allspice, 2 cloves, and two to three tablespoons of grated garlic. Add 1/4 l white rum or red wine. Rum is better. Cover and place in a slow oven, about 180 degrees C for two hours, then about 50 minutes at 150 degrees C. The carrots should be soft with a bit of bite to them by then, and the roast nice and tender. Let the roast rest for about 10 minutes to relax, slice, and sprinkle the meat with freshly chopped dill and serve with the carrots and potatoes. Salt to taste. It is an excellent recipe, and very old.

Otherwise, the tee-vee runs old films through all the horridays. So I cherry-picked a few to watch. Yesterday it was all three Airport fims en suite. Airport 75, the one with Karen Black was fun to watch after thirty some odd years. Looking back, it was very subtly camp. Was working in the cinema when it came out, and we had so much fun with it. Karen Black had what one calls a 'Silberblick' here, slightly cross-eyed, and the cinematographer must have really hated her. She plays a chief stewardess, you see, and a small plane collides and destroys a part of the cockpit, the co-pilot gets sucked out into oblivion, the navigator is dead, and the pilot totally injured so badly, he can't see. So Karen Black has to fly the plane. And in the tensest scenes where she is supposed to be terrified, she goes fully cross-eyed. One of the high points for terrible acting is when she is on a transponder, and screams 'There's no one left to fly the PLANE!' You can't see it on the tee-vee, thank goodness, but on the big screen, her eyes crossed TWICE.

It is a kitsch-orgy, Helen Reddy plays a nun who tends to Linda Blair, who is waiting for a kidney transplant, and sings the sappiest song ever written. Gloria Swanson plays herself, and gets to do the most hilarious 30's style acting and bombs the one-liner, 'The mountains.... they are so close!' (They are flying around in the mountains surrounding Salt Lake City, you see...) Charlton Heston rescues the plane after descending like a Deus ex machina from a helicopter, and lands them all safely. Sid Ceasar plays a wanna-be star. Myrna Loy does boilermakers all through it but remains oddly sober. They spared absolutely nothing to get everyone who was everyone on the B list in Hollywood, and it is a wonderful disaster, although entertaining.

Oh well, it brought back some very funny memories, and Peter was fully pisssed off with me for laughing about it, because he had never seen it, and got right INTO the story. How the hell can you LAUGH, he kept asking, and when something good was coming up, I'd say, 'Ok, here it comes,' and some terribly delivered line would come out. And all through it, he was on the edge of his wheelchair, with, 'What's gonna happen next?' Practically nail-biting. 'They all land safely, so just SIT BACK and relax, won't you?'

The second film was 'Victor/Victoria'. the Blake Edwards version. It was a joy to see again after a long time, and timeless. The original was filmed in 1933 in black and white, by the German UFA studios, and starred a remarkable Renate Müller, and was a very odd film.... There were blocks of narration-----and they were all in rhyme. But it was funny, and charming, and not so in your face because that wouldn't have been possible then, although everything was very clear.... I was sceptical, when the Edwards version came out, and then astounded. He turned a diamond in the rough into one of the best in the world. And bless Robert Preston, wherever he is...

Today I am having fun with Gremlins I and II. Two is definitely better. And I just LOOOVE Spike. And they destroy the Trump Tower. So camp, you can't get a 'horror' film any better. Although the scene in the first part in the movie theater where the Gremölins are grooving out on 'Snow White' in a movie theater is so perverse, I cackle.

Tja, when can we get back to normal, here? And tomorrow Sunday.... sigh.... At least I got food, and made chili...

Happy Horridays....

This is the post modern deconstructed version.

Ok, NO I am totally in Scrooge mode so don't fuck with me

Update... photos from yesterday. Baby Jeebus arrived early yesterday morning. Must have had a tight schedule. Astonishing things inside. (sniffle...)

There ARE angels, and she finally proved it yesterday.

Whereas the store workers looked just plain silly as always...

And I looked like this before I finally went nuclear.

As of twenty minutes ago, it is 'silent night'. Yup. But the hours before? Pandemonium.

Because, you see, the entire country shuts down, and if you forget to buy something, you might as well be dead, or very creative in the kitchen. Or kill yourself.

This year is really crass. And was up in the morning, running to the supermarket at six-thirty in the a.m. Where I get subsiduary stuff. Herbs, staples, the usual shit. And then on to the market.

Where I nearly had a fucking stroke. I had stuff for today, but need something to stretch for two days, and get all the stuff Peter needs.... And the crowds, and the waiting, and my back hurt. But that is the 24th, hey, it 's what they do... elbow in front of you, are agressive, as if there is never gonna be food on this earth ever again.

I had thought, ok, pot roast, and I can make Gatsch on the second day. Gatsch is what I used to call leftovers that my Mom used to make, a mish-mash of it, and it was even better than what was the day before. Right. So I finally get my turn, and whaddaya know, that piece of beef cost 27 Euros! I was so pissed of I could have spit. But swallowed my pride and bought the fucking thing...

So that was two trips back and forth between the square and Peter's already, and he was breakfasting. Back again for the vegetables, and the prices were ok. Saw a goose for four people going over the counter for 48 Euros, I was fucking speechless. I only did that once, goose. It was fun. And I set off the fire alarm in the hotel, but it was worth it. And the firemen were sad... It smelled so good, they said. But I saved 90 per cent of it, and did the rest at home, and we ate on it for a WEEK...

Five years ago they cost half that, and that was damned expensive.

Then it was time to go and get a Xmas tree. We used to have knock-out, beautiful ones. It was mostly a Peter thing, that, having an xmas tree. But I enjoyed decorating them and doing something different, it was creative. We used to have Styrian ones, American ones for decoration, and collected an immense amount of ornaments, and things for it. We hadn't had one for over five years...

So I relented, and said ok. Not a big one. And I had seen a beautiful one yesterday for 27 Euros, and he gave me 30 for it. Today it cost 37 for the same tree. And I told him to stick it where the sun don't shine.

They are OUT there gouging the fucking WHITES out of your eyes, because 'it's Christmas.' By this time, I was getting REALLY pissed off.

I found a nice one elsewhere for 25. Perfect. So I dragged it home. Cussing, and turning the air blue.

So... I thought I had everything DONE, you know? And took the key to the cellar to get out all the ornaments and shit. And whaddaya know? That key doesn't FIT there any more. The fucking Serbs in the house changed all the locks where his and my stuff is stored. I bought so much stuff from Venice, and elsewhere, and I couldn't get in.

It didn't surprise me. Not in the least....

So I had to leave Wimpy crying, and get something to PUT on the goddamned tree. And by that time, I was near the boiling point.

Twice more to the market, just to get something to make it look like a Christmas tree. Photos tomorrow. I never did a poverty tree before....

But then it got to be too much. For today, you eat fish here. And I made a mussel soup, and then a light salad with fresh herring and a sauce tartar dressing. I fucking THOUGHT. Peter had used up all the sauce tartare, and I got stuck in the kitchen with NADA.

And THAT is when I started yelling. LOUD. He ATE it, on bread. Well, glory fucking hallelujah, and just betray me again, you git. I had to make ham and eggs... And am going to go to hell. Am already there, as I am allergic to eggs...

Oh, yes, Xmas.... My dear friend and former colleague thinks I am going to have a wonderful one this year. Because I was ALWAYS the one to say, hey, I'll take those shifts, you have family, and mine are far away... And I got St. Stephan's off, and invited people to dinner.

Well Mr. Scrooge here says, 'Just FUCK it. Christmas my arse... Just another excuse to gouge the whites out of your eyes. Fuck Christmas.'