Yes, have been remiss....

There are some days I have little to say, or just freak out over the fucking Republicans and their fucking audacity, or end up having to run around doing things I do not like to do and get all it a fuss....

So retroactive Happy Valentine's day to all whom I love, you know who you are...

And no... am just extremely depressed for a lot of reasons.

Larry King harping on the Octopussy for days on end depresses me.

If she were in Germany, they would take all of her children away from her per social services, they said so. Shocked, I tell you, shocked.

Depresses me.

My health.... depresses me. The fucking social services and pension people depress me to fucking death.

Having to turn five cents over three times before spending it.... depresses me.

The only nice thing these past few days was having the designated Bishop Wagner ask Ratzi to rescind the nomination and promotion. The ASSHOLE had the nerve to maintain that the victims of Hurricane Katrina got what they deserved, and that was God's punishment for that Sodom and Gommorah of a city. So why didn't 'God' kill David Vitter from that state, who visited whores and liked to play diaper games, but is oh,,,,, SO family values?

And then cries on state tee-vee, because, you see, in the past two weeks since the nomination, the poor guy got attacked per e-mail, and his subjects, and yes, I use the word intentionally, and the 'hate' was so terrible for him, he couldn't sleep. I'll just BET.

Because, you see... what he said wasn't hateful, or unchristian. This guy is a fucking Bill O'Reilly!

Spews hate, and then gets taken aback when there is an uproar? Oh please...

There were massive threats of people leaving the Church officially, and here, you HAVE to pay a tithe, one tenth of your income.

So Ratzi.... accepted his not taking the new post.

So there ya go...

They are being pragmatic, Rome, I mean. Italy just had a sort of Terry Schiavo case, and the bloody Italians did the fucking same thing to that poor family. I thought I was re-living ground-hog day in another language. Fourteen years in a coma? Still 'young?'

Let her go.

Depressing for many reasons. My first neighbor in this house was wonderful. Funny, an artist, and so on. And he was so vibrant, and we sat out on the square so often, and argued about politics, and arts, and so on. Then he was at home down south, fell into a brook and drowned. He was under water twenty minutes, and they fucking revived him into a coma. He got six months of martyrdom. On tubes, tracheotomy, the oxygen being pumped into him, and all that entails. I was allowed to visit three days before he died. If he had come out of it, the brain damage would have been immense. He looked so frail. I stroked his good arm, and whispered, 'What the FUCK do you think you were DOING?'

And I swear, I saw his mouth twitch as if he were trying to smile.

Three days later, he was dead. A 'seizure'.

Uh-huh.

Just like that... you lose a friend.

Devastating.

And no, there wasn't anything else between us. But this wonderful tension, who can do better intellecutally, who can defend what they think better, and gawwd was he good.

(It IS possible to mind-fuck, believe me.)

The good things in my life seem to have left me behind with the Orks, so am on my own.

There are saving moments.

My neighbor brought her two year old up our creaky stairs, and was encouraging her, and I was just going out for snigarettes. And I said, 'Hey, A. you are really doing GOOD.' We have torturous stairs. And the child showed me an egg she just got. A thin chocolate one that has a little toy inside. 'Surprise eggs'. So I said, 'Oh, I wonder what is IN it.' And she looked at me as if I were 'stupid', because she wanted to get into the house, and was thinking of house, and said 'Peter!' as if I were stoopid or something. Her mother's friend....

It made me smile.

But still, am sinking into depression, and that is NOT good.