I should never have gotten out of bed today,,,,,

But I did. I had nightmares, couldn't sleep, quietly read news on the internets, and basically entertained myself. (No, get your minds out of the gutter. I read news demmit.)

I loves me some news, can't get enough, and am a junkie.

But I do take breaks.

I also love me some satire, especially when it is very good satire.

And the couch critter finally woke up, and I turned on the Colbert Report. (silent t, please).

He was so at the top of his trade Monday that I fell apart laughing, and laughed real tears.

What I didn't notice: The Couch Critter went fucking livid for anger at me.

So then I had to hear what a sadistic son of a bitch I am for laughing about things that are so serious. I tried to explain to him that sometimes that is the only way you can call people's attention to what is wrong and that it is an art form.

Man, talk about rejection. I got a forty-five minute dressing down (verbally), about how terrible and virtually stoopid I am to even watch such things. And you don't want to know what he yelled about 'the guy' (Rachel Maddow), and the 'other guy' (Keith Olberman). I hadn't been aware that it had gotten on his nerves so much, I swear.

Obviously, his funny bone got shot away in some war or other a long time ago.

So, hokay.... humour is a very odd thing, and people never react to it in the same way. I have known that since working in the cinema, and very soon learned.... at the age of seventeen, NEVER to reccomend a comedy to anyone whatsoever. Some like slap-stick, which I hate, some like verbal back and forth funny, and on and on. And some people have no sense of humour whatsoever, so you just let it be.

In his favour... he doesn't understand English. He sees people laughing, and I give him a cue line about what made me just laugh, and it isn't enough. So am being fair here....

He thinks it is sadistic when people laugh at people who do horrible things. Tja. What the hell should you do, break down and cry all day??? Just askin'. No, you attack in the best way you can, according to your means.

So the day started off just fine and dandy. The pension people sent my money to the friggin' post office instead of to my account, so I had to go to the bank, and I bloody hate banks.

Then I bussed over to Peter's. Oh, yay! He really caught me on the wrong foot today, as we say, and started to tell me how the local media was trashing Michelle Obama on the tee-vee in London. 'She touched the Queen! No ONE touches the Queen!' Well, oooooooo!

Now I am certain that the Obama's got the whole protocol thing down, and read the riot act before they went to Buckingham Palace. So if she 'touched' the Queen, it was probably a gesture of sympathy, and the other queens should just calm down.

Secondly. She appeared sleevless at an evening event, and showed her awesome biceps. And they were asking if she had nothing better to do than go to the fitness studio. Well, from what I have read, she has been very active, especially in schools.

But the damned capper came when I wanted to see CNN today, and the President was about to land in Strassbourg, and some absolute idjit breathlessly announced he would be flying on to 'Button Button'. (The correct pronunciation is Bah-den Bah-den, not Button Button.)

Peter nearly fell out of his wheelchair for laughing, and I nearly fell out of my chair. WHY the FUCK didn't CNN hire ME to deliver their spin? The guy seems to be the same age. And at least I would have pronounced it correctly, and not made them look like the total fools they are!