Cripes... just can't sleep....

Is it any WONDER???

I don't NEED nightmares which turn out to be real. And are, in actuality... worse.

Yup, it was one of those days....

Peter's foot is a mess. He said he can see 'bones' in his wound.

Stopped my heart.... And nope am not gonna look in there... I know what I am gonna see. He's gonna lose it through sheer cowardice and stubbornness, and nothing I have said or done is gonna make a difference.

I have been yelling, whining, cajoling since before Christmas, and he has been the most stubborn-headed, idjit I have ever encountered, and wimp for being afraid.

He won't eat. Hardly. The GP was there, and said, 'I don't like what I am seeing.' (OH, he had his eyes open this time... he only checks his blood pressure and sugar level, both of which were ok...) I'm going DOWN there tomorrow, and 'wash his head', which is a local version of telling him off.

Am so frustrated.

He wouldn't talk to me about him at first... doctor-patient confidentiality, and I yelled at him.

'You can't be so stupid as not to see what is going on.'

Yeah, stupid RenB can be very hot-headed. He doesn't have rights, but he still has a tongue in his mouth, as his Mom used to say, and USE it where necessary... to SPEAK up....

And rights, he was afraid of getting a court case....

The friggin patient comes first. I would have thought....

So this is where our system gets stuck in the mud.....

It is admirable that doctors and social services have rules respecting patient's rights, and do what the patient wants.

In most cases, that is more than fine, and very good.

However, when things get life-threatening, and the people assigned aren't trained to see that, and the doctor is afraid of repercussions..... that is NOT good.

Peter hasn't been able to make a sensible decision in weeks.

He needs to go up in the hierarchy of the care system.

Whatever happens... he will lose his remaining foot, and if he is seeing bones when he tries to dress the wound himself... well... I'm not gonna look. I've been through that 'show and tell' too many times, and if it is that bad.... it is gonna be gone.

Am not whining here...

It is unfortunate, and destroys me inside, but am not whining... just feel horrible. If he had remained in hospital last year, they would have been able to save it. I doubt it will be possible now....

So how was your day?