Sigh.... I don't even know how to title this...

Yesterday was exhausting. Snow, slush, overpacked public transportation, and got out to the hospital. And that complex is so huge, it took me over forty minutes to find the building Peter is in. I thought I had found it, but landed in the onkology ward (cancer patients) and was told to get into the elevator, and press -2 level and there would be a connection to where I wanted to go? The elevator had -1, -3, -4... but no -2. It was like Alice in Wonderland, hey....

So I wandered on outside, and finally found the right building.

Only to find him in a four-bedder, watching the clock and worrying that I wouldn't show up, as I called before I left the house. I told him I got lost on the grounds, which he could understand. (And I did ask, trudging through the snow and slush....Most personell seem to only know their own buildings...)

He was on one of those oxygen things. No tee-vee, quiet, and a stick without the dead man over the clock.

He seemed to be half-way cogent...

Today was another story. While there, I had to leave the room, and wait while his foot got re-dressed. And he wasn't cogent at all. Said I wanted to go home, and make something to eat because I hadn't eaten anything all day, went to his place, got some things he wanted, and then on to the LKH. (Landeskrankenhaus) 'Wait another five minutes!' So I did.... and wanted to leave....

And he said, 'NO, I need to get into the wheelchair.' So we did that, and he wanted to get wheeled around... And I said, 'ok...' And we wheeled through the corridors, and he wanted to go down to the ground floor... he is on the third, your fourth...

And I asked, 'Why, there is nothing there to SEE....' He got petulant, so we took the elevator down to the ground floor, and there was nothing there to SEE... just ambulances arriving. 'I want to go out.'

'Peter it is COLD out there, dammit.'

So I said, 'Ok, but just for a minute.' He has been so disoriented, because he doesn't know where they really put him, and as above, that is one huge complex. So I wheeled him outside for a moment, and around the corner so he could see that his building is next to the very tall building where the helicopters land, and what it looks like where he is from the outside. That seemed to calm him. 'Oh...'

And then I wheeled him asap back into the building, he was only in his johnny with a sheet over his legs....

Not before he said, 'Let's go shopping.' Or telling the nurse when we were leaving, 'I have to go to the bank.' Uh-huh.

I have no idear what the hell he wanted to buy... but my heart got more ice-struck than the cold outside....

I have a LOT of questions. But no one will answer me if I were to ask... am not family. Why the hell is he in nefrology (kidney station) when the main problems were with heart and lungs??? Why isn't he getting intravenous drips, although he has a so-called 'pipeline' inserted into his hand??? Or maybe he gets them, and doesn't realise it?

I don't know, and am not allowed to ask.

He said they are going to start doing a lot of things with him on Monday. And that 'the doctor' said he would be able to help him.

(Where have I heard THAT one before???)

Sorry, am cynical at the moment.

The people in that building seem to be very respectful, and treat patients so that they retain their dignity. And that is a good thing. The male nurses seem to be kind to him, but everyone is empathetic.

In other departments, that wasn't always the case....

Am still waiting to hear what the fuck happened. He'd complained about heart pain two days before going... or better said, getting sent there.... And I saw a thing that heart trouble can affect the lungs on the tee-vee yesterday, coincidentally... So why the kidney dept.???

Well, they will know what they are doing....

I hope my hair finally goes white....