Whelp... that's the end of another tour, and about semantics

In the 'wonderful' Hospital World of Dizzy-nyland... And RenB wouldn't be RenB if he didn't wait too long and blow getting info at the last minute.... It IS Suday, after all...

Actually, I wouldn't have tried it at all... except... last evening I saw that a colleague had looked in and visited my blog. So I called over to the ho-tel, and it wasn't who I thought it was. Although another friend and former colleague, and we had a fairly longish chat. He is a communist, politically. And I was going ON, about my doubts and fears, and so on, because I am not getting information on Peter and the doctors, and rights, and so on.

'You go over there tomorrow and tell them you are his life-partner and demand some answers!'

Hmpf... Life-partner. Actually, after thinking it over, I sort of like that term, semantically, I do.

'Significant other' still smacks of hiding in the closet.... But 'life partner', yup, that is ok, sums it up and can apply to any two people who aren't 'married' no matter what the constellation. Yeah, it fits. Lebensgefährte, someone who accompanies you on your road in life... Nice word.

As I have often said, I do not have the legal right to learn anything about Peter's condition, but I thought, 'Ok, worth trying...'

As my Mom used to say, 'You got a tongue in your head... use it.' Often enough I have gotten so shut out, and I don't have the 'rage against the machine' in me, not like I had in the past, at any rate... But a bit of it still... a bit...

So I told Peter I was going out for a cigarette. Which I did not want or need. And marched down to the nurses' station. Only to find three attractive young women who looked like they should still be in high school. And said 'I am Peter's life partner, and want to talk to a doctor.'

Well duh... it is Sunday, and the one on duty didn't have timeto listen and symbolically hold my hand. The nice thing? Not one of them batted an eye. They were very nice. We had a little talk. I expressed my concern that this wasn't like the last times, y'know, the three amputations, the stroke, the heart attacks, the pneumonia, and explained that I have a very bad feeling.

And that not even our GP will talk openly with me, because it is against the doctor-patient rule, which I respect, but sometimes they can overdo it. It isn't as if I would sue him or something...

SO... nothing to be done today, but at least it wasn't hurtful, as has happened in the past... That is progress of a sort, wouldn't you think?

All I could think of was Keith Olbermann's mind-boggling special comment a few days ago. It involved having discussions regarding end-of-life care with patient and family. They have the same here.... except... I don't get the luxury or solace of sitting down and setting out guide-lines--- ever.

Yup... the thirty-five years do not count. How fucking wonderful, and how hateful.

And it isn't the people in the system. It is the government, and especially the 'Christian' Dems who have effectively blocked all this for decades. And apropos... big scandal in Admont, a priest who molested young boys over many years. My eyebrows don't even lift any more. Disgusting.

Bitter? Oh yes, I am bitter.

Tja... Peter kept thanking me for being there every day. Until I snapped at him, and said, 'Just stop it, ok? It wasn't anything 'special...'

Well, after a while, I had to get out of there. Last day or not. This stuff just drains me emotionally.

I took the tram back and stopped off at the supermarket there, which is open on Sundays to get something I thought I would maybe eat, not that I have much appetite these days. And to get back to semantics... a seventy-something dumpling of a lady asked me, 'Are you the last?' She meant: 'in line.'

And I knew that. But the devil got hold of me, and I said, 'Oh yeah, I am the LAST.'

Now, that would seem to be innocuous, in English, right?

However... in German it depends on the inflection in the way you say it. If you say, denigratingly, 'You are the last!' it means you are a piece of shit and deserve to be ground down under someone's heel. Otherwise it can mean 'are you the last in line?'

The poor woman got all flighty, and said, 'No, I didn't MEAN it that way!' And I smiled and said, 'I know, it sort of got to my funny-bone, and I am sorry. I've had a bad day, sorry.'

And she went off into giggles, and said, 'Oh I was so worried... people nowadays can be so rude.'

And I said, 'Yes, I know.... and I guess all we can do is try to be civil to one another.'

There was silence till we got out of the check out. And I said, 'I wish you a very pleasant Sunday.' She wished me one too.

Tja... semantics. Words can often have many meanings, and the inflection of how they are said can be an insult or a compliment. Language can be dangerous, believe me.