Ok... now I know I am totally over-tired....

Posted on the same topic twice.

Fix, Sakrament....

This morning, I had a nice mail regarding that piece on Talking Points Memo. (Link in the post below...) Expressing amazement.

And I think...(sometimes I do and it isn't always beneficial), I think we got a little side-tracked by all of this. People who have gotten used to being sniped at by Rethugs have gotten sorta kinda used to it. It's a day-by-day sort of thing, and you get angry, but when you see it all strung together like that.... it does become something else altogether.

And can leave you speechless.

And my relative seemed sort of upset by it, because we both sort of think the same.

And she thinks that at base, it is pure racism.

Which it is, of course, so I told her a story about when I was in third grade, and first became aware that people aren't the same color always, and how it confused me. I never 'got' it, back then... Some day I'm gonna write a short story about it.

And I am very glad I never 'got' it.

My life would have been impoverished if I had.... and she mentioned something about the McCarthy hearings, which she can only vaguely remember, although she is a whit older than me.

But my synapses went 'Snap, Crackle, Pop!' and I had to smile.

One of my earliest memories. We were living at my paternal grandparent's place after the divorce, and my grandfatnher was what Annti would term 'a pistol'. Your complete political animal, and served two terms in the NH House of Representatives. Yeah, he was pretty cool....

For a long while, his team was in a photograph in the corridor of the capitol in Concord, and I always felt very proud seeing it. It's gone now, relegated to some basement, I suppose, but that was really coooool...

So he would be fixated on the news... which came from the radio. (Yes, am so decrepit, I remember that... and he probably affected me to be the news junkie I have become.)

And one of the first memories I have from there were of him listening to the McCarthy hearings, later HUAC. And I found them very upsetting. I was only five, but children KNOW about tones of voice, and I hated the commitee panel, and felt sorry for the witnesses. I didn't know what it was ABOUT, I just knew there were some very mean people out there.

I remember my grandfather muttering imprecations I couldn't catch. Sort of 'not in front of the children...' you know? And I would listen, but didn't really like most of those people. Instinctive.

Later, as a young adult, I sort of delved around in the reports from the time, and found a remarkable play by Eric Bentley. 'Are You Now, or Have You Ever'. It was the first question the witnesses got as to whether they were communists. The play consists entirely of transcripts from the time, the people who caved in, the ones who made them look absolutely ridiculous. It was riveting reading. And sort of heart-breaking.

And, looking back, as I tend to do now and then, and I think, really think... it all got buried, and no one really remembers it fully as an adult, but it was awesomely terrible. I think there are only about two handfuls of books and films that ever touched on the subject. Few and far between...

So, we all know about the saying, 'If you forget your history, you are doomed to repeat it'? I think that is correct.... And it began again... Michelle Bachmann calling for an investigation of who in Congress is 'unamerican', for instance.

People came back with criticism, and comparisons to McCarthyism, and she was 'Oh, no, that isn't it at all.' Well, HORSE FEATHERS, m'dear, you are a fascist. Bought and paid for by some corporation or other....

Some of us Oldies do remember things....

As to my grandfather.... he used to get a bit into despair about the idjicy of his constituents as well, and would get liquored up, as my father has told me. And would go on a rant, and then despair, and yell, 'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.... Fuck it.' Never did that when I was young. Am sure it wasn't too cool for The Venerable, but I liked that story. But for me, he was cool, and one of the kindest people I have ever known.

I could go ON... like how he locked the family Bible, which was about 150 years old at the time, and would yell, 'You aren't allowed to go into that! The Old Testament is a BOOK OF HORRORS!!!' (He was ok with the New Testament.) So guess who went searching in it when he forgot to lock it? And got thrilled with the 'Book of Ruth' and David and Jonathan? Nobody told me, I just ended up reading about all these people. And still find it odd, that they caught my attention at eight years old.... Sorta weird, but I was a weird kid.

The family Bible got passed on to my brother, although it was always passed down to the eldest son, who would carry on the family name. Because I didn't propagate. I really hope he understands its' historic value.

And sometimes I miss my wild grandfather, who wasn't wild at all. He had a passion for life, and mostly tried to better things, as far as I know.

Sorry, am having a nostalgia day. The past months have been a bit rough on me.