Am going to Gamlitz on Thursday

And I don't like what I am hearing on the telly-phone....

Tee-vee blasting in the background, and when did we both get to be 'news junkies'? but however... I do not like what I am hearing.

He finally realised I am not going to be able to be there every day, and he sounds terrible.

I, on the other hand, feel like I have a few days' breathing space. And guilty about that.

Have been setting up my visiting program, and arranging for breaks in Leibnitz. No, not this week, this week is the test-drive to see what works efficiently. E. has to work, and Charly does as well. And to tell the truth, I would rather do it alone the first time.

Because I am gonna need some space.

First on the agenda? Talking to the director of the home. And using the 'L' word. Lebensgefährte.

And talk about end of life choices.

Yes, that is a creepy topic. If there is one tabu topic nowadays, it regards dying.

And last night, Keith Olbermann gave an impassioned plea to Americans to have that talk. It was moving. His father is dying.

It strikes me as weird that we have that in Austria. EXCEPT... if you aren't married or kin to the person dying. This is good to stop gold-diggers, and greedy relatives from being basically grave robbers before the fact, and it happens.

It is NOT good for people in a non-recognised relationship, who want the best for one another if their lives are coming to an end. And determine what they want done, or NOT done. Case in point? Terry Schiavo.

And I... not being in a recognised 'relationship'... have no say.

And I WANT that talk Thursday. I WANT to have some say. I WANT to know what the fuck is going on. And I intend to get some answers.

Yes, this makes me incredibly angry. So I blew off any meetings with friends in Leibnitz on Thursday, because I know.... when I get out of there? I'm gonna be speechless, literally. And that won't be good for anyone.

I have the feeling that this is 'end-game'.

It's not good.