I hope you have some eye bleach handy....

Because Peter is always complaining that the people where he lives hang out fresh wash.. Every day. At three-thirty in the morning, even. Being brought up Catherlick, I opined that it was probably a mass psycho Pontious Pilate complex. You just don't wash your hands, you wash EVERYTHING you possess, and it certainly looks that way.

And some of the people in the hood are so vast in their beings, you would think they get their clothes from 'Omar the tent maker.' (Thanks to Gore Vidal, I think, for that concept... I've never forgotten it.)

So imagine my surprise today, looking out of 'REAR WINDOW', without the cast and binoculars, and saw THIS:



CAT WOMAN and ACQUAMARINE MERMAID LADY BLEW THEIR COVERS. Totally.

They have been hiding out where you least expected them to BE.

I was in such merriment, Peter got skeered. He did. When the hilarity died down... and it took some time... I said, 'I just do never want to know what scenarios those are used for.... EVER.'

So lady heroines... please hang those things up on the inside of your balconies, so that a.) you don't reveal your sneakret identity, and b.) make people want to run to the bathroom. Thank you.

As to 'Rear Window', a friend of Peter's said my view was nonsense. The people were vulgar in the hood, and crass about saying what they feel.

I was INSULTED, my friends. I KNOW that something is going to happen over there, I do. Now, across the way, there is a young lady whose only role in life seems to be washing chlothes, and hanging them out. At three-thirty in the morning, for instance. With search-lights in the yard, and everythng. I mean, this goes waaaaayyyyy beyond the Pontius Pilate syndrome. Way beyond...

Well, there is trouble where this Stepford wife is. Because she and her person are fighting loudly. And at six a.m. Peter wakes up to 'Ich werde Dich kalt machen.' Literally? 'I'm gonna make you cold.' Which is slang for dead.

And I said, 'See? I was right, and Hans was not. Rear Window. You are going to have to stay up all night every night, and catch him in the act.

Wheelchair or not, and wear your fucking glasses.'

So yes, it is the dog days, and nefarious things going on behind the scenes.

And that was my Steven Colbert number, but the facts are true...