This post is going to be fun. Social Sneakurity

Looking in the mail-box going out every day is a must, but never top priority on my list of things to do. I seldom get snail mail... like twice a year or so, lots of ads I throw away, and an occasional bill. Unless I ordered something at Amazon and am looking for a delivery notice, then it gets exciting... (ha)....

So imagine my astonishment when I opened it this morning and found a HUGE orange DIN-A4 envelope sent from The United States of America, official business on the upper left hand corner of it!

Sent by the embassy in Vienna.

Three questions shot through my brain at that point:

What the FUCK do they want with me after twenty-five years, why is this so heavy, and OMG, they discovered my blog???????

Well, I got on the bus, going to Peter's, ripped it open, and pulled the whole mess out. There was a cover letter. It seems, my pension people contacted them, to point out I am on an invalidity pension, and not sixty-five yet. And since I worked in the US for nine years plus, I might be eligible for benefits, which eligibility they will determine in the coming three to five months or so, so I should apply, and please fill out the forms.

Now, since I got retired 'early', I only get 70% of what I would receive if I were sixty-five, so that was sort-of welcome news....

And then I looked through the forms to be filled out. My GAWWD! There is such a wealth of questions for hilarity and satire in there that I bust out laughing. Now, Lawrence O'Donnell

trashed a Texan congressman yesterday on the tee-vee. (Click on the name for the vid).

Social Security and Medicare are 'socialist', you see.... and wanted him to admit it.

Now, 'here's the different', as Peter used to say....

We moan and groan about the forms we have to fill out here when applying for things. And the forms are only four pages long, usually, and half of the stuff requires 'only the facts, Mister...' and a lot is irrelevant and so you can leave them blank. No stupid questions. Awful, isn't it? Oh, how we complain... 'they're turning us into glass people who know our every instinct, urge, thought... POLICE STATE!' And I would usually just smile.

I would LURVV to show some of them what I just got in the mail! One of the questions that caused me the most hilarity was: 'Is there a warrant out for your arrest?' Followed by 'Have you been convicted of a crime?' Right, am gonna lie of course, and say no if that were the case, but they have a Catch-22... If they catch you lying, you get taken up on federal criminal charges, so you better tell the truth, hey...

Another: 'Tell us what you do from the time you wake up till the time you go to sleep.'

And on another questionare: 'Do you speak english?' 'Can you READ english?' 'Can you write your name IN ENGLISH?' (To the latter: um, excuse me? How the fuck do you think I am filling out this form, hey? Sign language from an interpreter??? And since when do people sign their names in hyrogliphics? Just askin'...)

Ok, could go on and on and ON about this form. Really. I ended up laughing my ass off.

But there is a darker side. They want to talk to your doctors, and see into their records on you. They want to see your diagnoses, in the original, 'and will send them back to you per registered mail.'

I really, really do not see why I should do that.

So, Mr. O'Donell.... that isn't socialism. That is pure fascism.

Will think twice about filling it out.

Gawwd....