G. Fucking Gordon Liddy got into the discussion of the nomination to Surpeme Court of Judge Sonya Sotomayor.
The discussions so far from the extreme right are so off the charts for racist, misogynist, you can feel the fear sweat, and smell it from four thousand miles away.
The white males who rule everything seem to be looking like the unwanted rat you cornered and trying to get rid of.
The truth is.... most people in the world have a different, and often darker color.
But they ruled, and how they ruled.
But to go so far as to say the candidate wouln't judge correctly, because she is a woman, and gets periods, which would cloud her judgement, is so off the charts for being unacceptable, I cannot find a comparison.
And that from the convicted G. Gordon Liddy. Of Watergate infamy.
How HE ever got to be 'acceptable' in the news cycle is a mytery to me. Just like John Dean, that whiney-ass little lawyer under Nixon.
Gawwd, the Repubs must be desperate.
Disgusting. Heard it on Crooks and Liars....
Hokay.....
The horridays are back again....
Pentecost weekend, Sunday and Monday are horridays. Went over to the market, and helped my friend unload plants, which is fun for me. It makes me feel useful, somehow. I had a 'before' picture... (I thought) but was seemingly too half-asleep and it didn't take. These are the 'after' pictures. The air was a bit brisk when I went over, but just shrugged it off, and thought, ok, if you are 'working', it won't matter....
And then it started to rain, lightly at first, and my friend asked, 'Do you want to go home?' And I said, "My goodness, why? My Mom always said, 'You're not made of sugar, you won't melt...' " I have always thought that the people at the market have it rough sometimes. They have to be out there day after day, in all sorts of weather, and sometimes it isn't pleasant, but they do what they have to do, and seldom complain, even in the nastiest winter weather. And these photos are of so-called Hawaii Lieseln, mostly. They are low-growing, and make for some nice flower beds in your gardens. The only thing that kinda gets me is the petunias. You expect to get a whiff of something nice when you take them off--but they have a healthy dose of horse dung in the pots, and that took me aback the first time. So I learned not to take a deep breath when unloading those guys... (smile)...
And, of course, there are always a few moments to talk to people. Like the inimitable Frau Brehm (sp?). She used to run a Gasthaus, and is seemingly a terrific cook, and is funny, and charming. And very insightful, believe me. (The lady in the red hat and with the green umbrella.) The trolley in the back is what we unload.
Und persönliche Mitteilung: Millie? Das nächste mal werde ich das besser machen. Und Dich vorher warnen, bevor ich auf dem Knopf drücke.... Versprochen.
I am really beginning to hate being told I might go blind....
My eye doctor read me the riot act today. Was I taking the eye drops? YES, I fucking DID.
This is not the first time. Ok, the second one. I do take the eye drops, and oh man oh man, how I hate aiming anything at my eyes and let them into them. I find it hard to get used to. Have a fucking HORROR of anything near my eyes.
It makes it difficult for me. But I fucking do it. Water-boarding for the eyes, is the way I feel about it, and no her procedures do not hurt but it is torture for me, seeing this blue-light thing that is gonna press against my eyeball, and measure the pressure while she LOOKS in there...
The problem is coupled with my high blood pressure, and I do take my pills, every morning when I get up. But that was ignored so long, the eye thing went rogue and is acting on its' own. Too much inner pressure, it presses the eye nerve. And if it gets worse it will blind me.
Hedwig, my eye doctor, is a near to retiring, no-nonsense butch lady. She can 'harumph' as no one else can if she thinks you are bullshiting her. And this is NOT a doctor you can bullshit in any way, shape or form. So I do not dare bullshit her. And she can really really lays down the law if she thinks you are doing that, and wouldn't want to see you again.
So I said, 'Look, am under much stress these past weeks.' And counted them off. And said, 'I don't think it did much for my blood pressure, even though I take my pills....'
It was the first time she was friendly to me... in a butch sort of way....
Whatever, am sort of upset. I do not like the fact that what she is prescribing isn't helping as she expects. But it seems that the extra stress hindered what was supposed to be good, you know?
And her reaction was positive... how the world changes....
Damage is there. I could see like a night owl in the middle of the night. Now I have to have at least one light on to find my way around. And am often up in the middle of the night, since I got forced-retired.... It is very odd.
I fucking hate that....
What's the lesson? I don't know.... Get check-ups.
And it didn't cost anything, I already paid for it over and over. But it was worth it. National Health Care! YES.
And oh yes, I do not get billed for that.... I have a co-pay for the drops for three months... about thirty dollars....
Ok, gloves off!
What the fuck is it with California, all of a sudden. Prop 8 got upheld. What the fuck did Schwarzenegger DO, the repressed homo?
(He said it in a Playboy interview, didn't care who was swinging on his dick as long as it felt good....)
Do they realise how many people they are fucking over?
I have never aspired to being 'married'. Ever. But I have always, always, wanted equal rights if I have been living with someone for a long time. Equal rights.
And respect.
Today was a difficult one for me. And I took a taxi home instead of sweating to death in a street car. And gawwd, did I vent.... I sat in that sterile environment, and wanted to just die. Waiting for some doctor who never showed up, to want to have a say in what they do to his foot.
Was off the charts for being angry. Butcha know WHAT? Nothing I could have said would have made a difference.
Absolutely nothing....
So I vented all the way home and that poor woman had to listen to my vitriol. As if she could help anything.... As taxi driver, I assume she hears a lot of things. Still, it wasn't right.
And no, I didn't verbally attack, I was just upset, and threw up all morning.
I really think it is time to put the slime-balls out to pasture. I do.
What the fuck is their problem, hey?
If I am with a man, it is gonna threaten your marriage, or something? If that is the case, YOU have the problem, not us. And I do not want to know about it.
All I wish is to go into the hospital and co-decide. Local anaesthia, full? Ask about alternative things? Someone told us they do 'Unterdruck' a low pressure thing, and it is if you are 3o meters under water, and it really helps to heal a wound like his.
Instead, am the Kasperl. The Punch of Punch and Judy. That is how you get seen, whether you like it or not.
And a mess of people in CA just got damned into being the same.... little puppets being manipulated by assholes with gloves on their hands. They all just got fist-fucked. Without any lube.
And YES, that is crass.
But it is the truth.
I have never been so angry.
Susan Boyle does it again, and gets into the finals
Good for her! I am not crazy about the song she chose. And the first few lines, oh, was expecting a train wreck in slow motion. But then... she regained her confidence, and kept building on it. And she is very funny, turns out.... I got such a kick out of her. She had her dreams, and seemingly, they will come true, whether she wins or not. Unpretentious, and talented to the max. Whatever happens in the finals, she wins. Completely wins. Take a look.
Update, horrific thunderstorm outside. But take a look at this link. Loved it, but that was my university days....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ai27pvt-PY&annotation_id=annotation_690487&feature=iv
This has been fairly well my experience as well
Single payer health insurance. Am so tired of the 'machine', and the lies bandied about by the US press.... Link in the red.
What is it with the heat, hey???
I guess it fries your brain, or something, I don't know....
I got three calls from my former couch critter today. At seven in the morning. Early afternoon, and now in the evening.
He is worried about me. After having spent three months in my house, he knows me way too well. Knows all my moods, I know his, and get outta the way when he goes off for grouch, and angry, and he knows mine. And then gets me challenged for a word duel. It isn't arguing, it is about trying to make your point. And one or the other of us will make a concession, and give the point to the other... I didn't keep score, but I think we are about fifty-fifty at this point.
He gave me grief about breaking with a friend. He was angry. And doesn't understand it, and says I have to make it good again. He would wait around wanting to use my pc, and I would get a mail, and laugh... or not. He found out way too much. And being an arch-hetero, told me to make it good, and I hardly believe I can. Ever.
It all went too far.
He knows how devastated I feel
But he is very honest, at least....
To say I was completely taken aback is the understatement of the year....
But he didn't stop there, oh no... 'YOU are going to make this RIGHT again.'
me inside, (How????)
Well, I guess it turns out that something got to him. And starts THANKING me, and I am so nice, and opened up a world to him that he never knew existed. And have given him so much, not material, just a view into something else, and been a true friend. (We have to remember, he hates Americans, he hates gays, but he liked me.. from the beginning...)
'I LIKE you so MUCH!'..... he said...
And I thought, 'Whoa, whadda are you on?'
And then? I got to hear how I am ruining myself by looking after Peter. Just like... oh well.
And then he did a real number. Seemingly, he wants to save me or something.
It has to be the heat.
I'm not worth 'saving'....
Funny thing... I said, 'Well I like you too, but not in the biblical sense.'
And he said, 'Well, I'm religious, but I don't know the Bible all that well....'
So I explained. He fell apart laughing.
It is the heat, I tell you, the heat....
36.5 degrees... end of May... Oh...
Nearly died in the streetcar to the hospital. And our next thunderstorm is winding up. What the hell is July gonna be like, huh?
Was out at the state hospital at noon, and Peter was all thrilled to be taken out of there and onto the grounds.
He was supposed to have been operated on the artery in his leg today, but there were more pressing cases, and they did hearts. Hokay, makes sense....
Funny thing happened as I wheeled him out. Talked to a nurse (I thought...) and she asked us where we were going, and I said, 'just outside....' And on the way to the elevator, I said, 'Why are you so DOWN on the nurses here? She seemed very nice...'
And he said, 'are you fucking crazy? It was a MALE nurse!'
And I said, 'WHAA?!!! NO WAY! You are getting cavities in your brain's neural cells, hey, NO WAY!'
He swears on the Bible it is a man.
Errm.... to be honest, I really didn't look closely. I was pushing the fucking wheelchair down the hall, and only glanced. Long blonde hair, pretty face, a very modulated not masculine voice, I wasn't paying attention..... Twenty-something....
He says the guy's name is Werner.... of all things, and that threw me off even more for divining what the fuck is going on in HIS brain at the moment....
I am SO glad that I have to see my eye doctor on Thursday. Not only do I have trouble seeing in the dark... Am at the point where am so absent-minded I can't tell a man from a woman.
And THAT is frightening....
Peter blackmailed me into getting one scoop of ice cream from Charly Temmel's. The owner is a good friend of Ahrnie, and failed in Hell A.
It was so hot, it dripped on him, and now I have his stuff in the wash....
Odd day.
How was yours?
I had had no idea....
that there were so many Sikhs in Vienna.
Or that they could become so violent... hmmmm....
oh...my...gawd
One of the oldest and most respected bookstores in the city has gone out of business. It was in the city hall and catered to university students, and was specialised in music sheets of all sorts for musicians. I do not know who fucked that up, but it is obvious that with clientele like that, it shouldn't have been necessary. I only found out because my neighbor Sarah is getting a lot of their shelving for her apt. She said that they 'got mergered' with Leykam, which is a paper manufacturing company and also runs bookstores. Welcome to Murkin politics.....
Am speechless....
Welcome to Bert Brecht Land, where the bigger fish eat the smaller, and the ones even bigger eat them.... ad infinitum. Oh yes, it's a wonderful wonderful world...
Hmm... they have a bloody mini shopping mall at the hospital..
Peter's doctor told me to 'mobilise' him, but keep him out of direct sunlight, you see, and I saw that it was easy to get at... Elevators in the back on the left and right. It is open air, but this place had awnings. He had a small salad, and I got some baked champignons. Which is sorta like pretending you are eating scallops. (Gawwd, I miss scallops and clams...)
Now this little tiny strip mall has a clothing store currently featuring beach wear.. which is sorta kina weird... and a travel agency. of all the damned things I have ever heard of. If you are sick and in hospital, I don't think that traveling is uppermost in your mind, you know?
BUT... maybe it is a front for an 'Illuminati' group, and if you are really in trouble, you can book your further passage with them, or something. Heaven will be very expensive, and Hell gets you 50% off... something like that.
Ok, ok, whimsical thought there... but it is sort of odd, you have to admit.
Otherwise had a busy morning. Was at the market at five-thirty, and helped Millie unload all her potted plants. It was fun. And then I noticed she had run out of plastic bags to put them in, ran home, cleared my mess, and brought her a mess of them to use. There used to be an opera expert here, who lived full time in the Hotel Sacher in Vienna, and kept everything he had in plastic sacks from the supermarket I shop at, Billa. He died many years ago, but was legendary. So we have a running joke about me being the Marcel Prawy of out on the square here. But better re-cycling them that way than just throwing them away, you know?
Her boss brought us Betty Fords just when we got through. (petit fours . I know someone who called them Betty Fords).
Tja, at least an ok day for a change... How nice....
Minority Report becomes real?
Don't know how many people have seen the film, about detaining people for crimes they will commit in the future. Obama's speech yesterday leads in the direction of what that film postulated. 'Thought Crimes'. Well, that is very unsettling indeed.... Link in the title, and Rachel Maddow really pushed the connection to that.
Nothing special....
There have been huge thunderstorms the past two evenings. Yesterday it rained so hard, quite a few cellars in the city flooded. And the usual thunder, lightning, and hail in some places...
But the jasmine opened on the walk up to the hospital. Smelled nice. There is a bee pollinating one of the blooms. See if you can find it.
Otherwise, not much to say, at present. Am speechless over a few things, but they aren't for here...
Peter got his first outing in a wheelchair, with me steering out on the grounds. That is progress, I guess... Sunday they are going to go into an artery in his leg, and will probably have to install stents again.
Was up all night, and had some bad vomiting attacks. But that will pass, I guess...
Enjoy the flowers, meanwhile....
Yes, this has been what I have been thinking for months now...
Terrific post on Daily Kos today. Please take the time to read it all the way through... The link is in the title. And the film clip?
Take the seven minutes to look. It ain't pretty, and have seen worse. And then please explain to me how now, so many years later, smirking arseholes and talking heads on the tee-vee can condone similar things, (and yes, I mean you Faux News) and say it was 'keeping you safe', or the scale was smaller, so that was ok... Or... nope, haven't been able to wrap my head around that sort of logic. What was that about people who haven't learned from the past are damned to repeat it? Looks like we all got there.... So put down your samwich, and watch...
Now what were you gonna justify all that with??? Did you SEE the parallels? Oh yeah, it wasn't on a momentuous scale, so it must have been ok. right....
We all are just not evil enough in our thinking, seems like...
The discourse over the past week did go to serve what many were thinking about torture programs anyway. Only it seems it was much, much worse. Some allegations, if true, turned my stomach. But have yet to be verified. And the Clown cars of the right scrambling to give 'justifications', and ooo, it was such a perilous time. Poppycock. BS! This stuff isn't going to go away, and the sooner the POTUS realises that fact, the better.
Can't pretend to know what sort of balancing act the POTUS has to master in order not to get into worse of a situation than he already is in. His 'caution' and 'reluctance' to take some steps and put the sunshine on this festering issue have both sides
clutching their panties, and that isn't good. And will, in the long run make him look indecisive and weak.
Americablog linked to this last nite. With the original link. You do not want to see the original link... It reveals the most paranoid fucked-up world-view.... well I knew they were crazy, but holy shit, hey! And I am KICKING myself for not having marked the only video I ran across from the DC Press Corps dinner, and TWO women in high fashion started SCREAMING at Rumsfeld when he walked in, 'War Criminal! War Criminal!' And not in tandem, mind you....
Found it on YouTube. Here is the link. It was the ladies from Code Pink. But look at this asshole's face. He thinks he is gonna live for fucking EVER. And I hope they RUINED his evening.
I'd like to CRUSH his balls in front of his wife and see how he likes it. With pliers. (I wouldn't touch him for a million Euros.) And that is one of the allegatgions which made me sick to my stomach. Doing that---allegedly---to a child in front of his father to make him 'talk'. Please note---alleged.
Link
And THEY got arrested, of course. And he just kept walking along, smiling and bobbing, smiling and bobbing... It was eerie. (Note to self, RenB, throw in bookmarks for the things you find at three in the morning, you idjit... It wasn't anywhere else, but was on video...)
To say I am sickened by the apologists who somehow think they are going to keep their jobs by using the dumbest defenses of torture I have ever heard, ok, goes without saying.... Right, 'Have a nice night'... Class act on some poor guy who got to escort people in...
And am only going to say: you all got hijacked by some of the greatest criminals of all time, and the motive was just greed, paranoia, fear, and the ends justified the means for them.
I would very much like to see it dealt with. Make some noise, damn it! (I know, some are, but it isn't enough, the noise machine from the right is set too high. Cyberblast their broadcasting antennas, or something.... Which is only meant metaphorically....)
Just saying.....
Sportsfest...
Yesterday they held a sportsfestval downtown and closed it off to traffic.
It was mostly for children, and there was about every kind of sport imagineable represented.
I got a kick out of the tykes in kayaks in the fountain basin.
And they had lots of kids facade climbing. They did have adults put them on secure lines...
I am taking today off... discouraged, angry, and not in a good mood.
Go out and get an ice cream, or something. Will be back tomorrow.... I just need sleep. Tomorrow, they are gonna run a sort of baloon up Peter's artery, inject some contrast stuff, so they can look at his heart.
The procedure frightens him, of course. Although it can't be worse than a colonoscopy I had to endure once. I had to crap goo out of me for nearly an hour after. Class act, hey...
If I can find the YouTube about bad parenting again, will put it up. Crass.
Then came the bad part of the day....
I really don't know, sometimes, I really don't. I should have known just going out on the streetcar to the hospital. One woman had a baby with such good lungs, it was unnerving. Screaming, for some reason.
And this Ditz of an older woman says, 'I know someone who says that is MUSIC to one's ears.'
I REALLY had to bite my fucking tongue till it nearly bled. And so wanted to yell, 'That is because the little tyke BROKE her fucking EARDRUMS!' Oh yes, it was on the tip of my tongue, and I gripped my seat and held it in. Seemingly I have a bit of self-control left....
Two seats up there was a kid about ten to twelve years old... with a waste-basket on his head. (No, am not making this up. He seemed to LIKE it that way, what the fuck do I know?) When he and his mother got off, he had it under his tee-shirt, and looked pregnant, as it had started to rain....
There are days.... sometimes I think I am in a Salvador Dali painting, I swear....
Because I did not understand any of it.
Or maybe I am dumb, or something....
So I got to the hospital, and Peter said he is going to lose two toes, the second and third. Oh, fucking swell, hey. It is going to look like Edward Scissorhands.
Or something. At least they aren't going to do anything more radical at the moment....
Twelve years ago, they were radical, believe me.
Just chop it off.
So... hokay, you go with what you get, you know?
Maybe I should start going around with a waste-basket over my head so I don't have to look at anything, I don't know.... Maybe the kid knew something I didn't.
Or look up Salvador Dali on Google, and look at melting clocks...
Have no idea, at this point....
Discouraging....
Hokay, had some fun this morning....
YESTERDAY, my friend Millie, the flower lady at the market said she would have to unload all the stuff this morning by herself. Now I have known Millie for nearly a decade. She is funny, we laugh till we can cry, she is exceptional, in other words. And she knows me inside out. She is always one year ahead of me, and we can talk about EVERYTHING.
So yesterday.... there was this tone in her voice about having to work alone today, and having to unload everything.
'This is the time EVERYT'HING gets planted, from outdoor balcony plants to things in your garden, and that is one hell of a lot of plants.
So I said, 'Know what?' Will come over and help you unload them.
So shortly before six a.m. I walked over out on the square, and said, 'Ok, tell me where to put them on the tables. There were over ten rollies five shelves high waiting to be unloaded, hey. 'Ok, where does This go?'
At first she didn't believe that I was serious.
Men and women, hey... they say things the opposite sex doesn't understand...
So I wasn't putting them up the way she wanted them.
Till I finally got piqued, and said, 'Millie, you know what? We aren't communicating here, so let me suggest this; if you want them horizontal, say horizontal. If you want them lateral, tell me lateral.'
It worked.
It took over an hour to get them all out onto the tables.
And I had to take the empty ones over to be stored in a sneakret place. And part of it was funny. 'Zieh es vierie.' Which is dialect for take it ahead. And she got confused,and said, do you understand that word.' And I said, 'Darlin', I know what vierie, umi, owe, aufe MEANS. I go FORWARD, in this case....' She fell apart laughing.
And after forty-five minutes.....
We had an ocean of beautiful flowers out on the square.
The rest of the farmers out there were Baff, confused. As if I gived a shit. They have this misconception that I am some elitist asshole who spends his money and helps support them by buying something to eat.
Millie knows me with all the acne on, and has always been there. So it was fun to surprise her this morning, and do something sensible for a change. And no, am not praising myself.
It was fun to just go out and do something for someone without calculation and and just help out.
And surprise a nice lady.
Oh yeah, she felt she had to DO something. I said, 'You have been so kind over so many years, I don't need anything.'
I freaked her out, in other words. So I had to concede to her buying me a small corfee. My couch critter always goes there. I tried it, don't drink corfee much any more, and WHOA! As my late step-mom used to say, 'That would put HAIR on your chest!'
Always wanted to be a bear, but more in the direction of albino.
So it was a fun morning, and I felt useful....
If that makes any sense....
There are days.....
This is the second day that Peter told me all his exams and stuff were over, and I rode out to visit, and found THIS. Bed gone.... And every time, EVERY TIME, my fucking heart stops till reason kicks in and tells me I'm being an idjit. So I trudged on over to the nurse's station and asked where he was... Turned out I had to wait two hours till he got back....
So my mind went rambling on, and went outside to find a leper's corner, and smoke. The lack of nicotine made me sort of whimsical, you know? This door, for instance, is a very old door. Really. But as soon as you approach it, it opens automatically. Oooo... Magic! I began wondering if I were in the Hogwarts of hospitals, and began keeping an eye out for Madam Sprout. In my illogical head, of course...
An idea that only got reinforced when I saw a tree growing out of the roof... Oooooooo.....
They are always building and adding on to this immense complex of buildings.
And whaddaya know, found a leper's corner....
Then I got a bit creeped out. What ARE those shiny objects? H.G.Wells came to mind, and Morlocks. I didn't like them, they made me uneasy....
And next to them were seemingly the elevators to hell and back. Who knows. It was an instructive two hours. Just sayin'
Oh... I thought we had reached the high point of the ice saints....
It has been raining cats and dogs, and cold. If you have a garden here, you do N OT, repeat NOT plant things that can be killed by frost for you being over-eager in wanting them in your garden.
The ice saints are cruel... And the worst one is Sophie.... yup, cold bitch, Sophie. So today was really cold, and rained like hell. And checked the calendar and googled.... It wasn't...yet...
Die Eisheiligen:
Andreatus – 10. Mai
Mamertus – 11. Mai
Pankratius – 12. Mai
Servatius – 13. Mai
Bonifatius – 14. Mai
Sophie – 15. Mai
It is only Servatius... whoever the fuck HE was... Sophie is on the fifteenth!
Gawd help us, hey... (btw, I get a kick out of the Pankratius, as horrible as I am. He probably pisses on the world when we aren't looking.... like last nite. Rained cats and dogs... just sayin'...)
So am going to put on my anti-rheumatic underwear, and go sleep.
And watch it youse guys.... Sophie is on the way, and she is mean. Don't plant your gardens yet, in other words... if you are in northern climes, I mean...
Update: mentioned this to the couch critter this a.m. and told him to close the winders, as the ice saints were still about. He looked askew at me and said, '"whaa?" Had never heard of it before. And I said, 'Whoa! Are you telling me it takes a former Murkin to tell you something every Austrian knows and invented?' He was chagrined, I tell you, chagrined....
Just back from the hospital....
Something stuck in Peter's craw today... All they did is another scan, which means they are being careful....
He has been following news on the tee-vee, even CNN, and asked me about Wanda Sykes without my having mentioned her... I gave him a brief sample, and he found it funny.
And BTW, for Keith Olberman to say Steven Colbert had titanium balls three years ago, and then say that Sykes went over the line? I was NOT amused. She slammed the previous administration's lap dogs, and then some. 'It isn't supposed to be personal attacks.' So he says. Well, Preciousses, if he can personally attack Boosh in his special commentaries, where the fuck does he get off criticising Wanda Sykes.
Oh yeah. She said, 'He hopes the country fails. I hope his kidneys fail.'
Ok, not nice... But she is a way off-the-charts for pc comedienne, and he is a journalist, and criticises a 'death wish'? Am sure some of us sometimes have had our fantasies about who gets up before the International War Crimes Tribunal at the Hague, and wish they had the death penalty for some of them....
What the fuck was he doing? Saving his job? (Probably...)
It is tough to get a certain age, and have to think before you open your mouf, I guess, but I did not like it.
Crossing the line indeed. Steven Colbert at that event crossed every possible line ever made, and made people love him for it.
Which raises the question... is he sexist?
Am not so sure. Why couldn't Wanda Sykes have titanium ovaries???? Too partisan???
Whatever, had a good visit, they had to dress his wound, asked me to step out and I said, 'Am going downstairs to the LEPERS corner, and I AM GONNA SMOKE A SNIGARETTE! Back in ten minutes...'
And I was....
But all in all.. it made me very sad inside....
So how was your day????
I was just thinking of something odd....
In the late Seventies, I had guests from Iraq in the hotel. Came in and ordered a three bed room. And signed them in, and all of a SUDDEN.... ten Iraquis ran up the stairs and 'occupied' it. It was so odd. What bothered me is that they let the grandmother sleep in the car!
Who would have known then what the fuck was going on....
They used a grill on the carpet, and made a mess. I had to translate that there were extra costs for what they did.
Whereupon....
Whereupon...
The woman fell to her knees, began beating her breasts and screaming till the roof wanted to come down. I was afraid of other guest walking into this incredible scene, and told them to just get the fuck out of the hotel.
They went away happy, I was fully frustrated...
So if we compute this to today, decades later...
How would you expect young American soldiers to interpret that behaviour?
It begins with the world's biggest disconnect, somehow.
And I think about people who get sent to war zones, and have no idea what the people are like or their traditions are, and I sort of think... WHY do they DO that, you know?
Some things really freak me out, and this is apropos nothing...
And this little piggy went to market... and this little piggy went home....
You are supposed to have guardian angels looking down on you and protecting you, you know? Like the ones on the mausoleum here, or something... I don't know....
Do you note the storm clouds in back that make the gold look so shiny? That is their advertising gimmick....
Am being really cynical this evening. Peter had an MRI of his remaining foot this morning, and boy howdy, two little piggies are gonna go home to the foot God, or whoever is responsible. 'In order to save his remaining foot'. How often have I heard THAT one before, huh? It is called the salami technik. Heard it from a doctor.
Maybe it is a plot of the Pentacostests, a radical sect of it. (That was in More Tales of the City part two by Armistead Maupin, but am just being angry at the moment. it involved people eating body parts of amputated people as the Eucharist. You do not want to know.)
The pneumonia is only receding slowly.
To top it off, I got some sort of 24 hour flu, and didn't dare GO there today, and be Typhoid Mary. But we spoke. He was odd.... but I understood...
But understood. I can't go there if I am infectuous, and need to be sure.
Am tired. This stuff depresses me to the max.
Tonight is gonna be so quiet... It will be nice. And then I can start to tidy up.
And tomorrow... we will see. It's the only way to take all of it. But I knew it was coming.
Stubborn Aires people....
They can drive me to distraction....
My eyes are still dry.
But I KNOW what is coming....
A negative of a picture of 'fun'.
Comedienne Wanda Sykes was at the White House Correspondents Dinner last night...
She didnt outdo the legendary Steven Colbert three years ago, but she was damned good on all the people the left love to hate. She really hit Cheney. 'I tell my kids, if two cars pull up, and a stranger is in one, and Cheney is in the other, get in with the stranger!' Cracked me up... And Obama kissed the eighty five year old Helen Thomas who was treated horribly under you-know-who these last several years. Respect. Why do I want to break out my recording of Aretha Frankin right now? Oh yes, it was superficial, but it was respectful. Says a lot.
The Couch Critter is moving out....
I hadn't realised how much STUFF he had in here...
I am going to miss him somehow. He farts when he wakes up, and then says, 'good MORNING!' And I say 'Good morning to you too...' And then I go to the WC and he yells, 'Oh! The blast master is destroying the toilet seat'
Uh-huh. But it makes me smile, and have little to smile about these days. You have to take it where you get it from.
But... he was caring, sometimes he really got on my case... but has been a friend.
So in a couple of days, my little place is gonna be emptier than it has been.
And I am going to miss my couch critter.
I had a follow-up thought, but he completely threw it out of my head.
Maybe I will get better....
Lets take some time out for a moment of Zen, here...
I stopped by the Volksgarten on the way home from hospital today, just to get some air and breathe, you know???
There are only five trees like this that I have ever seen in town, so they are not indigenous to our country. After many years I learned that they are called foxglove trees in English.
When in bloom, they give off an intense and wonderful aroma, like a really good fresh perfume.
It was a bit calming. Peter was supposed to have had a coronary angioscopy this morning, and was very frightened of the procedure. But... the doctor who was supposed to do it refused, because Peter still has too many infections.
So at least the guy was being sensible, and good to know that he isn't an auomaton.
Meanwhile, enjoy the foxglove tree. I wish I could send that odor per nets, but you will just have to imagine it....
Gawwwd, I can't seem to get anything right at the moment....
The heating people were supposed to come today to measure my radiators. At noon, I had thought. And in all the hecticness, I didn't double-check the time. It was for 8:45 to 9:45. Just call me blind.
Was very preoccupied after yesterday, and getting senile, or something..
So at six a.m. I zoomed over to Peter's place with the bus to pick up his e-card, dentures, and toiletries, and things he will need, because yesterday, Preciousses, there was no time for anything of the sort, and time was of the essence.
As to the pics, the first is of the entrance to that giant complex that is the Styrian state hospital. It is a real mix of all sorts of styles, from the 1800's to last year.... and they are still building. Huge. I learned that he is in the endocrinology dept. Whatever the hell THAT is... I must have looked totally lost looking at the map of the grounds on the street, because some guy came along and asked me what I was looking for. He was very helpful, and led me to a labyrinth of a building. So as my step-mother used to say, 'You got a tongue in your head.... use it.' (That used to crack me up on so many levels, but let's just leave that for now, ok?) The window on the right on the first floor in the third photo is Peter's room. It is a double. The building is old, but very modern inside. The people in there were very friendly, competent, and helpful. 
Of course I was way too early, but how was he supposed to have breakfast without his dentures? Gum it? The room is super-clean, of course, the furnishings functional, and whaddaya know? They now have flat-screen tee-vees over every bed with earphones, so everyone can watch what they wish to see and not bother the person in the next bed. Let me tell you, that is such an improvement over the last time I was in hospital, and had to listen to regional radio for eight weeks, because that was what everyone else wanted to hear... their 'splat you on the ceiling' folk music nearly drove me insane. Nearly, mind you. Now this is what I call an improvement. Oh, it won't make you better or anything, but it sure is better than what was.
So I finally, finally got back home... and realised I had missed the appointment. So I had to call the company, and they want me to measure it myself, and send it to them per e-mail. Hokay.... Is it any wonder am nearly a basket case by this time?
Annnd, oh yes, I had to call our GP today. He was supposed to do his house call yesterday, I didn't have his number in my Handy, and then it was too late because his office was closed. He thought Peter was in a crank mode and refused to let him in. So I told him what the situation was. He was very disconcerted.
NOW I know why everyone says Pensioners never have any fucking time, and are usually stressed out.
I have never heard of Lilly Allen...
But I like this song. Very much, actually. NSFW. And dedicate it to Nurse Vera (or was it Ratchett?) of the local Red Cross.
I should have known... I really should have
When I got up, I was the grinch. As if I knew this was going to be one bitch of a day. I left super early to get to Peter's because I did NOT like how he was yesterday, no, not at all, Preciousses....
So am on the bus on the way to Jaki, and had one of my dry-coughing spells, tickle in my throat, and am smoking the wrong snigarettes these days. They make me sound like a bass with a cold rather than a tenor, you know.
And then it happened. The guy on the other side of the aisle yelled at me and told me to at least cover my mouf with my hand while coughing. I saw red instantly. Literally. And said, 'Right, I have fucking swine flu, and we are all gonna die, right?' Shut him right up, yup...
And then I had to get off to get my transfer, and said, 'Asshole...'
'Where did you learn those sort of manners?'
'Well right here, from YOUSE guys...' And I descended.
I should have known right then.
Peter was in a terrible state. Shaking. Fever. Throwing up. I have known him thirty two years, and I had never seen him throw up. Will make a cross on that check list. The Red Cross people were supposed to re-dress his wound. Today was the frightening Nurse Vera, the Slovakian who had her sense of humour shot off in some sort of war.
I had left Peter's place in perfect order yesterday. He was sloppy, as usual. And he pissed himself in the bed I had freshly made yesterday. And kept throwing up. Oh yes, it was a fucking party.
And I got the fucking flak. I am überfordert... (can't cope with the situation), and I am the one who is cooking wrong, and what the fuck are all the crumbs doing on the table, and on and on. Till I fucking flipped out and said, 'Lady, when I left here yesterday, EVERYTHING was in perfect order. And I changed that bed and made sure everything was fresh and the floors were clean. And I do that every fucking goddamned day, and I can't help it if he happens to be the Crumb King of the World.' Gawd Damn, I was pissed off to death. 'And get him into a fucking hospital, because I have never seen him this badly off, and it is scaring me.'
His blood sugar was up to 510. He was shaking. He had fever. So we called an ambulance, and away we went. The Red Cross kids were nice, and funny. I'd never ridden in an ambulance before, (and wouldn't want to under any conditions....) but it was an interesting experience.
They were very professional. And Peter wasn't getting enough air, he said. So they gave him an oxygen mask.
And I was dying inside.
We got to the hospital. And that was end-station for me. I could NOT accompany him, nor decide on procedures, nor do one fucking thing but just WAIT. The hospital is huge, no smoking anywhere... except in the leper space where the ambulances come in in the garage. So I sat out there for two hours and watched them all roll in.
It was more interesting than sitting in the waiting room and provided some distraction. My favorites? I didn't KNOW that the police have ambulances, I really did not. The first one came in with some Middle Eastern guy with a plastic bag with his stuff, and he started flipping out, yelling in his own language and getting very agitated. But. The four officers were very professional, weren't nasty, and calmed him down.
The second one, they had a guy in handcuffs, real ones, nasty ones. Also as above, but a real sullen, quiet one.
I KNOW this is off the charts for running on, but that is how it feels when you get left out in the cold, and worry, and feel bad.... But at least it was distracting, you know?
They finally wheeled him into the waiting room, with three drips running into his veins. He looked terrible, and they couldn't tell me where they were going to put him for the duration. So I gave him my cell phone so that he can call me. They don't have phones in hospital rooms any more, you know? 'Because EVERYONE has a 'Handy'.' Ok...
I walked home. It is a long way. I needed the air. I needed space. I needed to get it all out of my system, in other words, or I would have fucking fallen apart.
I did cry when I walked in there this morning, have nerves as thin as vermicelli.
But have myself in grip again.
Turns out he has pneumonia as well as everything else. And had a mild heart attack on Sunday. HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? I'm not a doctor!
Oh MAN!
But so far, they are very good here, as much as Peter can bitch about them.
My Dad says my life is like a fucking soap opera? No. It can be a fucking tragedy sometimes, and one of these days, I am going to have such a heart attack, even I won't find it funny.
Every Day a little death, every moment just a sigh...
Gawwd...
The Couch Critter is going to move out.
And looking back on the past three months...
Sometimes he drove me to distraction. I hated, absolutely hated his take on politics, he drove me crazy with his pedantery, but on the other hand, he is a very nice person, and in his heart, he is good inside....
I know that sounds like a conundrum, or contradictary in terms, but at core, he is really very nice.
If you live in close quarters with someone, you get used to their idiocincracies.... In the past three months, he never drove me to the point where I wanted to kick him out of the house.
I received respect and caring. And I gave the same.... He wanted to give me money to pay his way. I was insulted. He paid for his food, washed his dishes, cleaned the house, and never pushed it in my face.
He did lots more.
And no, there was nothing sexual. He is just like the brother I lost, but is not denigrating, or mean. On the contrary.
So in a few days, he is going to move into his own place, and I never put any pressure on him to do that....
And when he signed the contracts today, to move out...
I realised I am going to miss him.
I am going to miss all his sophmoric fart jokes. And I can do the come-backs like no one else can. 'Did you just SAY something?' 'Did you just call me?' 'HEY, don't misuse my name!' I am never at a loss for that sort of humour... It made him laugh, of course...
I am going to miss coming home from Peter's, and someone is there that I can talk to.
Who sets my feet forward, as we say.
I am going to miss him terribly, in other words...
There is so much trust between us.
Sometimes I find him extraordinarily naive.
Sometimes his political views drive me right up the wall.... left, not right.
He is very on the right....
But nebulous about it all....
But at his core, he is a very caring, nice Mensch. Person.
And yes, will miss coming home and he will not be there, and I can talk to the four walls, and so on.
Oh yes, will visit now and then. But it isn't the same, no, not at all....
It was mostly about friendship... an odd couple who never really agreed on anything, but had some fun discussions.
Tja, every day a little death.....
Ok... Snoopy Dance! And so much Schadenfreude...
You can go here and figure out if I am Snoopy or Woodstock.
With all the horror in my life lately, I decided to call my dearest former colleague. 'Oh, am so busy training our new director.'
And I said 'WHA!??? AM QUIT?'
No, Preciousess. The Gang of Four kicked her ass out, and seemingly it wasn't pretty. Annti, I want to send you a bottle, hell, a MAGNUM of champagne, real champagne. Now she knows how it feels. At least with me, they were fucking polite.
She was never 'polite' with them. I remember her telling the youngest to put down the toilet seat after he had been in the WC, and said it stank.
(I thought right then and there, whoa! What the FUCK are you aiming for, you stupid idjit???) The 'youngest' addressed me, and said, 'Do you HEAR how she treats me?'
I just shrugged, and said, 'Why shouldn't she treat you as if you were someone else???'
He was speechless, but he didn't get it.
But they came in with big guns, and fired her ass to hell.
I hope....
That she throws up for five months, never knowing where it is going to happen.
I hope...
that she becomes a more bitter bitch than she is now, and I can slap her on the bus one day.
I hope... that she finds nothing to fulfill her life. Ever.
Yeah, that is pretty hard as far as my thing goes. But can I help it when people really hurt me, and I am glad about it? It isn't right, somehow.
But on the other hand, oh, fucking good work, Karma.
And I didn't do a single thing to bring it about.
So, Snoopy dance...
And Annti, you can put the woodchipper in the shed for the time being... And I love you.
Riding the busses, violent edition....
Peter called me shortly before seven. He'd fallen out out of bed, and couldn't get himself back up again, I should take a taxi over there.
I'd already been asleep, and was really pissed off. You wake me out of a deep sleep and I am Ghengis Khan, Atilla the Hun, and everyone bad you ever dreamed of. And I knew from experience I would get there, and he would be back in the wheelchair of his own accord...
Well, Preciousses... There wasn't one bleeding taxi to be seen out on the square this evening, so I had to take the bus. I was off the charts for angry.
The ride to Jacki was uneventful, but then the connection! Schoolkids returning home it was packed like a sardine can. And there was this little Turkish kid about thirteen or so, what we would call a 'Zerreisser', or class clown. He wasn't being offensive, just loud, and sort of funny.
And all of a sudden, two exemplary blond little Austrians the same age who were in front of me suddenly weaseled their way back there and began beating him. Not in fun, they were hitting that kid hard, and I was trying to get back there and break it up.
But a guy next to them, seemingly from the Middle East, short, stocky, strong. ripped them apart, and told them to behave. The little Turk kid wasn't having any. 'Two against one, hey! I KNOW your faces now, and you are going to DIE!' And to his rescuer, 'what are you, gay or something?' Whch elicited a smile from the man.
The kids here think that is something funny. And use the word so inappropriately, it hurts to hear, and they do not really KNOW what the fuck they are talking about.
So much for schools, and teaching kids aboutbeing pc.
The shouting continued till I got off at Lilac street, and he was still taunting them. 'Get OFF of the bus. NOW! And I will take you one on one, and beat you!'
Tja, bullies are cowards. They didn't get off the bus.
So ok, that was distracting...
And Bedlam.
Once at Peter's, he was on the floor next to the bed, the wheelchair had fallen over and collapsed on itself, and it took me half an hour to get him upright, and back into bed. And I hurt my lower back to get that done.
I heard the people from the Red Cross offer to install an emergency thing so that if something like that happens, he only has to press a red button, and they come. He had said no, he would 'think about it'. I was about as off the charts as the little Turkish kid. He is going to get one asap. I'm not some marionette, hey. And I can't do it any more.
So... now am going back to bed and be up in the middle of the night, am sure.
But I did like that kid's pluck and courage to call the bullies out on their cowardice.
Hmmm.... Health care
I recently described how the health care place operated on Peter. I carted him over there three days in a row, and they were good. Then they prescribed at home care for him via the Red Cross, with check ups at their place every two weeks.
I was sceptical. I am ALWAYS sceptical... if hopeful...
The first visit was from ]]]]Nurse VERA[[[[. You do NOT want to run into her. She is short and to the point, and all business, and seemingly from Slovakia, or the Tschech Republic, from her name Tag, just supposition. But her funny bone and sense of humour got shot away in one war or another... All business. Her mouth turns down at the corners. NATURALLY. Bad sign...
But she was good.... although if she keeps it up, she could soon become a Nurse Ratchett. (You know, 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?)
Today we had nice but sort of ditzy ladies. Competent. I got a kick out of the thirty something one. Had to fetch and carry stuff she needed. The window was open, and blew the ash off my cigarette onto the floor behind her. And she made a cutting remark. And I said, 'Sorry, am infamous for that.... And I just had washed the bloody Floors...' She busted out laughing and asked Peter if he smokes.' Me drily... 'Only passively.' She broke up.
But nice, and competent and friendly, and not like that Nurse Ratchett.
Whatever, this seems to work so far.
I had to get him something I didn't really want to do. But was necessary.
I do not want to get older. NO WAY.
But on the whole good notes for them so far....
Sometimes I really hate my life....
I took this from Joe.My.God I didn't want to link because of the ads
This sort of sums up what I have been thinking... media scaring people to death instead of a real threat. So what are 'they' doing in the background, huh?
H1N1 IN THE 100 ACRE WOOD
Apparently Pooh doesn’t care what the fuck they call it….
…just as long as he doesn’t get it.
I hope Joe won't be angry... Click on the pic to get the full text in another tab.
The debate is getting somewhat petulant....
And David Schuster goes up two notches in my estimation... just sayin.
Oh gawwwd, egg on my face, hey... but funny,actually...
And I am fucking getting old.... Really.
I mean, it is etiquette to pick up the phone when it is ringing off the hook, and first see who is on the other end. Except.... No one ever calls me except Peter as a rule, and usually when I have just gotten back from his place, have just gotten in the door, and the phone is ringing.
So of COURSE I assumed it was Peter. Picked up the horn and yelled, 'Just got in the friggin door, and have to hit the WC, because OTHERWISE, as Margaret Cho said, 'Oh my gawwd, I'm gonna shit my pants!' In German, of course.... And nope, not gonna teach you that one.... (grin).
Looonnnnnng silence on the other end. And then a woman's voice, totally uncertain what kind of psychopath she had just reached.
I died inside. Truly. And was a bit shocked. And embarrassed to death. Said, 'Oh, please excuse me, I thought it was someone else. I am SO sorry...'
She was too shocked to even chuckle. She wanted to know if she could send me a catalogue. 'What is it about?' They sell fresh frozen foods. 'I live alone, and am sort of a non-cook, but thank you for asking, that was very kind, and I wish you a very nice day.'
I am willing to bet she was SO glad to say thank you and hang up, you could palpably hear the relief. I really do hope she got over the shock. And turns it into a hilarious story about the crazy man over on the square in the city, and regales her colleagues with it.... once she catches her breath....
Lesson? Listen first and find out who is calling before you go off the charts for needing to do your business. End of sermon....
Update... I told someone in Berlin about this, and he hadn't heard of Margaret Cho. Instant fan.
While I am trying to wrap my head around some new misery...
Here is something to amuse you. Hair. That just never seems to go away. Saw a touring performance in Graz, and the audience wasn't even a blink in the eyes of their parents forty years ago. Mostly teenies. And they knew every word to every song, danced in the aisles, on the seats, and turned the place into an amazing bedlam. I really enjoyed that more than anything. Here's the latest Broadway cast on Letterman, h/t to Joe
