Don't you just HATE it when a doctor looks at you

And says 'Uh-oh'... (Those two syllables seem to be used everywhere in the world...)

So I went for my quarterly check-up with Hedwig 'The Angry' this morning, and when she looked into my good, left eye, she said, 'Uh-oh..'

And so I asked, 'Oh gawwd, what now?'

'You have a thrombosis in the central vein of your optical nerve.'

(oh... is that all... The reason I really really like my eye doctor is herewith explained. She doesn't bullshit you and shoots even bad news straight from the hip.)

She asked me what stress I've been under lately, I gave her the Cliff Notes version,and she nodded. 'Yes, that explains it... When are you going to learn you have to live YOUR life?'

She said she was surprised I see as much as I do out of that eye right now. And that she was sending me to the eye clinic at the county hospital, like right away.

And as it was late in the morning, I asked, 'Well can I do that tomorrow? I have to take care of a few things.'

Whereupon she became Hedwig 'The Relentless' and said, 'You are GOING. NOW. '

(Why does she always make me feel like a ten-year-old and want to say, 'aww, Mom...')

Well, I know from experience that you do not go against what 'The Relentless' orders if you want to live. Because her staff will hunt you down, and give you nasty telephone calls. Yup.

So I took the street car to the hospital up the way, muttering, 'Holy Fuck!' all the way. And found the eye clinic. Let me tell you, that complex is so huge, it is amazing. So I went to the ambulatory part, and passed over my chit passing me on, and Hedwig's diagnosis.

And was asked to wait. Now this part is only for emergency cases. And there were about forty to fifty people ahead of me. It looked like the mini-version of the free health clinic in Little Rock that was held last Saturday, and which I saw on Countdown on my pc this morning. So I waited ninety minutes, and it looked like an all-day camp-out.

As usual, the place was over-heated, and I began to feel very un-well, and knew that a bad asthma attack was on the way, and I was not, NOT about to go through that with so many people present.

So I asked the admittance nurse if I could schedule an appointment for tomorrow morning, said I wasn't feeling well, and she told me to tell the nurse at the end of the hall.

(Right, Ren, you are in a bloody hospital, what did you expect?)

And since I knew it would only be a matter of minutes and risk being slapped into a stationary hospital bed, I got out of there as fast as I could and into the crisp Fall air.

And immediately had an attack for the amusement and wonderment of the few passers-by. Whereupon, I thought, 'get your sorry arse home, NOW.'

And took the streetcar back to my stop and walked home. Hardly inside, had attack number two for the day, and the inhalers I have don't work for shit.

That I can notice, anyway.

And yes, they were probably brought on by my being upset about the entire thing.

So now that I have related today's 'excellent adventure'... I will retire to get some sleep, and try to calm down.

After having looked it up on 'da google' and finding upsetting pictures, that won't be easy, but the drops at the doctor's really irritated my vision in the left eye, so resting is good.