This can be funny.... or not.....

I spoke with my father this evening....

Per instant messanger, ooohhh.. He looks wonderful for his age. Nope not gonna tell, but he is young in his head.

I hope that happens to me......

So why the FUCK do I get so upset, huh?

He had his cam on and I still can't activate mine.... Whatever. It was wonderful to see him.

I was sort of snarky, and made him laugh.

And that was nice. Especially to see his immediate reaction on the screen...

But when it comes to the important things at this moment..... like gay rights, or the MILK film, or things that interes me..... well I used to do oysters, and opening them is such a trial, you can go bullshit batshit crazy if you don't have the utensils......

He turns his head away, and tries to thing of something else, looked like....

And changed the subject. We talked about EVERYTHING else, but boy, THAT?

I can understand that he is of an age where 'you just don't talk about IT.' But am his son. And love him. And that was difficult.... forever.

I know he accepts me. Mostly.

But never will fully....

That is pretty sad when you get pushing sixty.

And no, I don't expect miracles......

Just some respect, and he does, mostly.....

How many times can you reach out and be hurt?

I expect many people know....

And the others will never know what they wrought.