Here we go again....

I ended up crying on the bus home today.... Silently. Just tears running down my face.

How very weak, n'est-ce pas?

No, non, nein... I was furious.

With the so-called 'Christian Democrats'. The ones who have held up gay rights reform here for over 35 years, when the Germans and Spaniards had no trouble with it, and now even Portugal.... but us? Uh-uh.... They won't lift a finger until the central government of the EU FORCES them to, or they won't be in the club. Jeebus, even the English have civil unions, and a few decades ago they were put in jail if they got caught being intimate with what they thought was an inappropriate partner.

How often.... I think 'marriage' and even civil unions are hoke, in my eyes.... And I still think that.

HOWEVER, if you spend 35 years with someone, you should also have some rights and some say in what is decided if things go wrong health-wise.

And as we all KNOW.... things aren't what they should be, chez Ren.

Today was especially bad. Peter can't even get himself up out of bed and onto his wheelchair. His breathing was so bad.... I really think he wants to die, and was just shattered.... shattered.

And I kept pleading with him, 'Let me call an ambulance, you can't go ON like this...'

And he goes off on tirades, I tell you, absolute tirades, and refuses.

The main point here is.... short of a life-threatening crisis like a heart attack or stroke... I have no right to do ANYTHING if he doesn't wish it. Even with the stroke, it was 'touch and go'. Just don't ask, ok?

With the heart attack, it was clear what was happening.

Now... these past weeks have been horrific.

And I get so frustrated, and so bloody angry at him... AND at the government, who can discern who gets which rights.

So yeah, I cried. I'm only human, after all...