Yes, I know, I did promise to leave Sondheim alone, but how did he anticipate Sarah Palin?

And the media infatuation with her?

Because she's 'Lovely'.

Who woulda thunk it?

Entwarnung.... Orange Alert gone back to green...

Nothing is more disconcerting when you miss a doctor's appointment, and then they call you at home and get on your ass to come in because 'it's important'. Which gave me a weekend of worry... Seemingly, my doctor was worried.

The inner pressure in my eyes was at a dangerous level. She said. And the veins very constricted, which had been affecting my night vision especially.

All due to high blood pressure..... swell. (I wonder where I got THAT, hey...????)

So I got drops, and new meds. That was four weeks ago. So today I had to do the pressure thing again today. The procedure drives me absolutely paranoid. You get drops, and then have to look straight ahead while this THING with a blue light approaches your eye, till it touches it.

It only takes a minute, but is an eternity for me.

But this time, the pressure was ok, and was much better. So I still have to do the drops. And march over for a check in February. I hate drops. I hate anything touching my eyes. But I guess I will have to, so I don't get a fit of apoplexy or a stroke, I guess....

Still it is a relief.

Oooo I want to know what he's drinking... so I don't catch it.

The Importance of Being Earnest

John Hinderacker, arguably the most influential conservative blogger in the country ...

Obama thinks he is a good talker, but he is often undisciplined when he speaks. He needs to understand that as President, his words will be scrutinized and will have impact whether he intends it or not. In this regard, President Bush is an excellent model; Obama should take a lesson from his example. Bush never gets sloppy when he is speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting. In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed. If Obama doesn't raise his standards, he will exceed Bush's total before he is inaugurated.

At the feet of masters.

--Josh Marshall

Every day a little death... every day a little sigh.... It is Monday, so whaddaya want hey.... And ))))November((((

Where you would mostly just like to jump off this bridge and get it over with.

The fog was lifting, and autumn is coming to a close. Every day a little death.... every day a little sigh... and soon everything will be gone and the trees look like brooms. Sticks. Whatever.

No, am not being all that morbid. I did NOT have a nice weekend. And some of the above is also from Steven Sondheim. I got extremely disappointed.

Trust is something I used to naturally have for my fellow travellers on this planet.

When you implicitly trust someone, and they break that, in whatever way whichever, it bloody hurts you right to the core of your being. Today I was disappointed even more. Because someone I trusted didn't have the brass ovaries to talk to me directly, and decided to 'help' by making an anonymous phone call which caused much havoc, but was 'OH GAWWD, so well meant.' Yes, right. Uh-HUH, that is SO fucking 'Christian' and 'brave'. NOT. That is cowardly.

I never EVER go into real details on personal things on my blog. Usually. But this time.... it's a perfect little death.... and you never feel a thing.... it's a perfect little death.

You know... people have their private things, and it is between them. I would never have thought in my angriest moments to interfere or run my mouf' as to what they did as long as they leave me/us alone. For anyone to just come by every twelve weeks and wrinkle their nose at what they perceive doesn't give them the knowledge or right to 'judge'.

Tja, you 'trust'. Right. And whomever doesn't have the fucking slightest idea about what is going on, and if they don't really talk to you, they surmise things that are false. And act wrongly. And I believe I know now. 'Ladies who protest too much'. Christ, it's no wonder I am gay.

Well, you 'meant well'. Isn't that what every busybody who hasn't got a life does?

And the anonymous phone call part? When did the STASI invade Austria, just asking?

I have enough on my hands without your interference, whoever you are. And I think I know.... otherwise, I wouldn't have hits on my site from a certain city, ten times in the past 36 hours. Brava. Fucking NOT!

Find something constructive to do, hey.

As above, I have enough to handle without interference from people who haven't the guts to TALK to me, and go sneaking around behind our backs.

Oh, and did I mention? Today was the 'HAMMER' in every sense of the word, and I died a little inside.

So congratulations, you are all really so fucking Xtian. And cowards.

Anonymous phone calls indeed! How brave.

You should be so proud of yourselves.

I saved the clip from the title above and it will be in the post below this. Listen closely to the text. And no, won't be posting anything from Sondheim soon. But listen. Closely.

And think about your own situation, and leave me alone.

Mondays can be the pits....

Listen closely

My last word on marriage.....

Carol Burnett just kills me.



And the gay version.... Marry me a little... Says it all.

Now.... to get away from morbid thoughts... a little Sondheim

Putting it Together. Lovely.

'Home'

Recently, have been ruminating on that word. It is a concept that everyone has their own definition for, I believe.

First of all, my dearest friend wrote, 'It is time you came home.'

And I thought, 'Where is that????' And I answered facetiously, 'I already AM at home.' And that is true enough.... It feels like home to me where I am...

But seeing the interview on the internets with Dr. Maja Angelou brought back some very intense memories of helping someone with a dissertation, she was one of the subjects, and it was about concepts of 'home'.

Is it where you feel accepted, and most comfortable, the place where you understand all the traditions and are ok with them? Then yes, I feel I am in my home. Some of the people in that dissertation spent an awful lot of time, searching for their heritage in Africa, or the Caribbean, and took a very long time to declare any one place their 'home'.

And no, am not going to give anyone an answer to something I find unanswerable. Oh we had some very long discussions on that topic, I remember. And they were very nice and opened up some things for me that I had just given up on, or surpressed.

Except that my gut reaction to my friend's question frightened me. People where I grew up can constitute 'home', because I love them. But the overall experience growing up where I did? It was never 'home' for as long as I can remember back. And as early as I found out there were other places in the world, I wanted nothing more than to leave. And then I did. It was no easy decision and I spent a very long time reaching it.

So maybe we have a sort-of definition of what 'home' is in the above. I went out and adopted a home for myself. It isn't perfect, there can be bad-guys just as anywhere else. But there is a difference between places where you are tolerated at the very best, and never really accepted, or places where you are mostly accepted as the person you are and almost never have to feel hurt or afraid.

And if the latter, it becomes 'home'. Where you feel right in your skin, and mostly happy. What more could one ask for....

And yes, it isn't all as easy as I am describing it. It means working very hard to understand a new place and culture, and learn to appreciate them fully. And I think most of the time, I have.

Anyone wish to embroider on this, or explain another view of it? Comments always welcome....

Oh yes, the photo was shot about two hours ago. I love the light in the autumn.

There is one word I can't seem to hear..... The 'poor' So here we go again....

Castes. as in India.

And the 'poor' are the Untouchables, or what? Obviously you have been a lot of things, but never 'poor'... Uh-huh. What a treat for us all.

And the middle class are the ones who have to be saved. ok, makes sense, they are the backbone of the country, but leaving everyone else out? I haven't heard one word till now..

Just because HE had some luck doesn't mean that people in other circumstances wouldn't be able to contribute.... or be left out.

That was so fucking disappointing...

Since it is a grey, grey, day, as we usually have in November....

There were a bunch of sparrows at the top of a tree I spotted the other day, and the sky was blue for a change, and the sparrows were acting sort of crazy. Hopping and landing, hopping and landing, as children do when you find out that the bed can be a trampoline, or something of the sort. Or the tree has something in it that makes them think it is marijuana, or something. I should have done a video of it. They were very amusing, and made me smile. Things seldom make me smile of late.

Although Obama did when I saw his presser this morning. I have to hand it to him. Everything sombre, and then this idjit reporter pantingly wants to know what kind of dog he is planning to get his girls. The reply was polite on the surface, but it was a real slap-down with a zinger.

He was purely classy in doing so. And I smiled broadly, and thought, oh... this guy isn't going to suffer any fools. I hope reporters in the press pool got the lesson: 'don't ask stupid questions where so much important stuff is being discussed, or you are going to get relegated to the kid's table next Thanksgiving.' That made me hop inside like the little guy in the upper left part of the photo.

Good on him.... yup. And classy.

Gawwd, please make it stop... ....

I have tried... really tried so fucking hard to make my life decent.

Really, and then I get dragged through the mud.

I don't like getting dragged through the mud. Funny, huh?

I am really off the charts for indignant at the moment.

And waiting for a reply from the lady upstairs, who is an example of how not to be a mother, in my book.

BUT.... She has had the unmitigated GALL to call the social services version of 911.

And I thought Sarah Palin was back in Alaska, where she belongs....

'But what went down today was really going into the pits. And is similar to my previous post.

Where the Fuck hell do people get off making desicions over my head, hey.

If I live with someone, we have to make choices, and it is OUR business.

Thank you all for the main vote. As to the fucking Mormons.... I hope you rot in a Hell that you never imagined.

Why the fuck is it... that every November....

I get a hammer of a bit of news that drives me up the wall.

The social service people called Peter today, and his neighbors had contacted them, saying he was not capable of taking care of himself or his life anymore.

Monday is going to be very ugly. Just took my blood pressure, and it is ok, but my pulse is 101 and climbing.

Am so pissed off I could spit.

The Mormons eated our rights....

to paraphrase Atrios.....

So Proposition 8 won in CA. What a contradiction in terms, hey. America voted for a president who is kinda-sorta brown, but they gave gay people the shaft. Talk about mixed signals from the Murkin' people.

I haven't sounded off on this subject, because it wasn't all that important to me.

'Marriage'? Give me a break. Civil unions to be recognised? Maybe. I respect people's wishes to be recognised under the law and have the same rights and responsibilities as every one else has, as a matter of course.

But on the same note, I would wish that people who live together for over seven years get the same advantages as married couples do, no matter what the constellation of their union. And that includes normal het arrangements.

We alll enter into relationships, and the least of them are really good. We all stumble and fall, sometimes. But we do it.

Life is an adventure, after all....

I've been made to feel that denigration all of my life, even when it was an unconcious predjudice. And am so grateful I live where I do. And feel very disappointed that Proposition 8 in CA passed.

Hate is still very alive, and well and living in 'Murika.

But without me......

Maja Angelou said, 'Oh, we've grown up'. Well there is a long way to go.

I stole this link from one of my favorite bloggers....

It's Maya Angelou. I helped a co-worker do a dissertation while she was finishing university here, and she was one of the main figures in it. And had never heard of her up until then. She is an American poet. It was fun to help my co-worker, and I learned a lot. To see her in the clip embedded in the title..... was amazing.

And extremely moving....

My colleague came so close to getting a Fullbright scholarship for that, it was crushing for me. She did the work, I just gave the impetus..... and did a bit of cosmetic surgery that was not worth mentioning. We had some wonderful discussions. One of the nicest people I ever met.

So go take a look at who inspired her. It isn't long and is very moving.

Sometimes I forget how nice it is to have friends whom you can react to live and in living color....

Life is so bloody odd.

And some people can be so wonderful they can pull you out of an eight month funk, and delight you and make you feel alive again, just because they are there.

My friend is like that. We met a couple of decades ago. We are both the same astrological sign, which doesn't mean much, actually, but there was this marvelous connection.

I guess we have been trying to age like a good wine over the decades, but oh well, we do try, hey.... And it is always about the true caring and genuine LIKE that has cemented a sort of friendship.

Every year about this time, I know I am going to have a wonderful time, just talking, and above all, listening.

He is truly remarkable in every sense of the word, and we CAN talk about everything.

So thank you, David. And I wasn't too close, you director, you.... (smile)

And oh wow, nothing like an unwanted phone call...

My eye specialist's office.

Reminding me to keep my new appointment. 'It is very important.'

Now, THAT bodes no good.... It means that something is wrong, even though the cataract hasn't developed more, because I stay out of the sun....

Yeah, Dracula, that's me... But not... because I have so much trouble seeing in the twilight and the dark.

It is high blood pressure related. Seemingly...

She plays her cards close to her chest, but I hardly like hearing that.

Even tho' my blood pressure is down, it isn't down enough... which is affecting my vision.

Well, don't care, am off to see one of my most favorite people in the world. And it is a once a year opportunity, because he is only in Graz that often. A British actor who is funny, intelligent, and whom I have known for decades.

So will try to be Scarlett, and 'think about it tomorrow', as if there was something I could DO meanwhile....

But am worried.

oh, wow... how sad....

I missed the news about the passing of Studs Terkel.

He was amazing, and did oral histories. Taped people, and wove it into wonderful insights into epochs, and just amazing.

He was over ninety, and very sharp and funny. The title in the link is wonderful, but only if you have a fast link and can spare an hour to see that remarkable, funny, and compassionate man.

Just look.... if you can....

A very moving morning

It's taken me a few hours to really absorb how momentuous last night was. I was so speechless when I turned on the tee-vee at quarter to five this morning that I couldn't properly live-blog.

So yes, I was profoundly moved. But it wasn't about Obama. It was the faces in the enormous crowds, the relief and joy they reflected. Over the past few years, I have come to know some wonderful people there. And have come to respect their determination, understand their frustrations, and admire how hard they worked to help yesterday become reality. And those people are my heros and heroines. Seeing the joy moved me to tears, and they just kept rolling down my face, not crying, just tears of happiness for them.

Even more astounding is the tenor of the European media. 'America has found itself again.' Reflecting a wish to believe in the America they were taught to believe in, the 'good' one. A ton of stones dropped from my heart. A weight I hadn't realised I had been carrying around with me for so long.

I am so proud of, and admire all the wonderful people who made it possible to turn the rudder around. Let us hope that the new direction will be a sensible one that we all want.

Live from Europe...

05:58 Obama on stage in Grant Park, Chicago.

Oh my, he included 'gay and straight' in his definition of Americans.

(oh, it was a lead in to thanking the voters....)

06:11 now he is on fire. Good words to countries abroad, and a threat to those who would threat.

06:16 it is over. He did good.

05:08 Middle European Time

It just became 'official' via the German tee-vee station ZDF, which has been sending live coverage of the election all night, They say Obama has won. The live coverage from Grant Park in Chicago is astounding,' so many people. There are a lot of Americans in the studio in Berlin, and just looking at their faces and seeing the relief brought me to tears. German commentators keep saying 'America has just found itself again'. Which says a lot.

05:18 MEZ McCain concedes. He is doing it with dignity. But giving Palin his blessing..... I'm surprised he isn't choking on his words, and she is smiling dumbly.

We're now waiting for Obama's speech.

Atrios on Eschaton posted this....

Hope it comes true. And for us in Europe, due to the time difference, 'Tomorrow is really only a day away....

Mormons....

This is a bit late, but just ran across it about Proposition 8 in Califonia. Good video. Link in the title....

I always KNEW that George Will is a smug overbearing prick, but...

the link in the title is really obnoxious.

Correcting Donna Brazile's pronunciation.

How smug and demeaning, and impolite, if not downright racist.

Mr. Airhead Blonde Will who can't seem to 'age', (can't wait to see the wrinkles on HDTV, that dummy who believes he is an intellectual) is probably gonna cry tomorrow.

And Mr. Will? I believe you come out of a corner of a country where everyone, ya' know, 'daily people', swallow their syllables and in NH, the exchange 'dja' eat yet?' No jou?' poses a problem for everyone here who thought they learned English. So get off your fucking high horse.

And then there is Sarah Palin, the Cobra, with her folksy 'can'tcha', don'cha 'wink wink' cheerleader style of speaking, and we can disregard the venom, right? Hate to break it to you Georgie, but when I was in grammar school, we got broken of that FAST. One of our teachers went NUTS if we didn't enunciate correctly, and contractions were frowned upon and criticised. And we learned the correct pronunciation of 'who, whom, what, where' and so on. One had to hold a tissue in front of the mouth, and if it sort of blew out, you did it correctly.

It was a grammar school in a very poor part of town. They seemed to try to give children the things they needed to survive in your very superficial world. Your world-view is so opposite, you were probably glad every time the world loses a great deal of people in a catastrophe. Because you think you are elite.....

No, you ghost of a by-gone time. You were rude, obnoxious, egregrious, and offensive to a very smart lady. I could tell you to go to your room and learn some fucking manners. But it is obvious. And now? Hey, you need a translator to understand some of the jargon. That is life and that is what living languages do. They move on. We may not approve, sometimes, but it IS the reality.

And all this leads me to believe that it was a racist thing on your part. Maybe subconscious, but it was, all the same.

You, sir, will never be a gentleman. Not at your age.

And thanks for the ladies at Fire Dog lake for posting that link

Just in time for the election....

I finally got up my nerve to try to connect the notebook to my modem. Especially as I tried to connect to a W-Lan connection and McNewbie keept telling me it wasn't activated, and I couldn't find ANYTHING to 'activate' it. So I screwed up my courage and tried it, armed with the installation disc, and the code that I finally found after two days of looking for it.

Turned out I only had to plug it in, and it went so fast I couldn't believe it. And it didn't ask for my code. Super.

In thirty minutes I downloaded and installed three of my most-used programmes, Firefox, Irfan View and Adaware, activated my antivirus account, and read my mail. Something Lazarus McWheezy would have needed four hours for. If he decided not to strike.

So now I can look at and hear the videos on my favorite sites again, although I will NOT try the link a former colleague sent me last night, with the remark that the Amis weren't so prude in this election. It went to a Hustler magazine page titled, 'Who's Nailin' Palin?' supposedly a satire. Typical Larry Flint.

Na ja, am much relieved..... And it finally installed my favorite game, 'The Patricians' about the rise of the Hansa. You start as a lowly merchant and have to try to get to be mayor. All in the thirteen hundreds. It is interesting, and you get to move a lot of goods and ships around, have to build factories, houses, what-not. That will keep me amused for a while at least....

Now all I have to do is try out the tee-vee card and see what THAT brings me. And figure out some of the funny icons on the upper buttons of the keyboard. But the display and sound are very good, at least....

Huh, hardly two days old, and am frustrated to death.

Vista let me install two of my games, and no more. Then it suddenly changed the color scheme of the screen to 256 colors. Now that is up to XP no real problem. But it took me over two hours to get the screen back to normal, and I had to use the recovery disc to do so.

I cursed a blue streak, believe me.

So far haven't tried to get the internet connection going. I have to find a letter from Tele5 with the code.

The high definition version for dvd's is really nice. Although I never really wanted to see ALL the wrinkles in Judi Dench's face, but her eyes are amazing.

Was putting in my address book data from old wheezey here, and was astounded over how many people are dead in the meanwhile, or whom I do not wish to speak with. Eeeeew...

And there is one feature I like. It will only start if you scan a finger over a sensor, and it recognises your fingerprint.

Na ja, e shall see...

Promises, Promises...

Today was the day I begin to phase out Lazarus.

So I went to the bank and got the money, as this super-duper notebook was going on sale at eight in the morning. And on my way to Hofer, which is a mini-version of Walmart, I espied two people carrying away computers with grins on their faces....

But yes, I bagged one. A notebook.

It has a sixteen inch screen. And a mess of stuff.

But it has Microshit Vista, and I can't FIND anything I want to find.

Which gets me near to having epileptic FITS. There isn't even a search function in the main menu any more, for dummies like myself. I get really really frustrated, and you don't want to hear what turned the air blue....

Yeah, I know, read the manual. The fucking shit....

So I tried to install a few programmes, two out of three worked. Which is ok...

And then I tried a dvd in it, and was blasted away. High definition, good sound, super.

And I can't find the Explorer which shows me my drives and what is on them.

I still have to connect it to my modem.

And install the connection....

What fun....

And as far as saying the Microshit stuff was all installed.... Well, it is, but you get a ninety day trial period, and then you can BUY it.

Some people have a lot of nerve....

Huh... fucking Vista. Whoever did that version was on crack cocaine, and the result is certainly not consumer friendly.

But am having one of my usual anger fits. As consumer, you plug it in, you go places, and all is right with the world.

Except it ever works that way...

I haven't thought of a name for him....... YET....

But if he keeps it up, it is going to be VERY uncomplimentary......

DVD Review Cranford

This series is a must for Anglophiles. It is five episodes that bring you into a tiny town and covers a year from 1842 to 1843. It is about change, and how the populace react to it. There is so much packed into those five wonderful hours, my first instinct is to watch it all over again, immediately.

And so much detail about what daily life was like, you learn much, and a lot of it.... well, you think, thank whomever I didn't live in that era there. Some of it is romantic, and then there is a great change and tragedy ensues. So your hope for a happy end goes RIGHT down the tubes.

There are two scenes in it where Peter really lost it. In the first episode, a carpenter falls out of a tree hand suffers a compound fracture in his arm. A new doctor is in town, and despite what the older doctor who summoned him reccomends, (amputation), the young one saves his arm under what today would be harrowing circumstances, and in the last one, a necessary leg amputation, and the patient dies. It terribly upset him.

The main focus is of all the ladies in the town, and there is nothing satiric or mean about it. The cast is stellar, and absolutely wonderful. Some of it is so hilariously wonderful, you burst out laughing, only to have it stick in your throat moments later and feel sad.

And.... it feels modern. Sure, we don't live with candles for light, but there is so much in there, about human nature that doesn't change much, it is a very rewarding experience, and I highly recommend it. Oh yes, and Imelda Staunton stole the show. Veering on the edge, but never getting into satire. (She was the fascist Laura Bush similar headmaster in the last Harry Potter film, and that was johnny-one-note, but here she shows how much she can do.)

It was wonderful.

Amazon England is having a sale

So I went shopping one night last week at one am in the morning, and it was all very tempting. BBC films at reductions of up to 60 per cent! Oooooo.... Was your proverbial kid in the candy store, believe me.

Whatever, my little package arrived this morning, and we began watching a five-episode series called 'Cranford' this morning.

It is about a village north of Manchester England in 1844. Lots of widows and women, frustration, and a very restricted code of 'what is done', and what is 'scandalous. Therefore every frivolous infraction of their 'rules' sends them into paroxysms of 'excitement', heart palpitations, and sets their collective tongues wagging. Well, in the first two episodes, everything has been going on very well, thanks, but are about to change. Because the railway is going to be expanded and Cranford will be a stop, to the horror of the inhabitants.

The series got a solid five star rating from the Amazon customers, and so far, deservedly so. Some of it is so hilarious that I had to laugh out loud. But with stars the caliber of Dame Judi Dench, Micheal Chabon, Simon Woods, and Imelda Staunton especially as breathless spying busy-body one can only expect the best, and they deliver. But it also has some very dramatic and sad moments. There are interesting insights into so many things in what daily life was like at the time, it can be absolutely fascinating.

I still get the giggles over a scene in the first part. Annti would be horrified, but it was so funny. Two women are testing a recipe to bleach old lace, and the piece is historic and valuable. So they set it in a bowl and drench it with buttermilk. The cat eats it. With the lace, of course. They run in hyterics into town with the cat, and a friend 'sacrifices' the 'boot that fought at Waterloo'. They hold the cat over it and give it a diahrretic. It had me in tears.

Will do a full review when I've seen it all.

Let's see, what else did I get on my binge? The best rated version of Sense and Sensibility, and Persuasion, Jane Austen stuff. And a new dvd version of Little Dorrit by Dickens, a six hour extravaganza. All BBC.

Whatever, you can safely shop there, and many of them are coded so that they play world-wide. Link in the title. And thanks to Lazarus, who is still wheezing away, but got this much done.

Ok, Lazarus isn't letting me do anything tonight....

Go over to Americablog and see the newest most disgusting thing I have ever seen in an election campaign. A young woman, McCain campaigner, claimed she was attacked by an African American man while she was at an ATM machine, and he carved a 'B' in her cheek, for 'Barack', of course.

Except, you see, it wasn't true. She made it up. And disfigured herself in the process.

I've always thought that Republicans are out of the stratosphere for crazy, and hateful. But that added a new dimension to the word 'hate'.

The GOOD news is that it only took her twenty years to discredit her credibility forever, and it will be a damning addition to the McCain Pailin campaign. I've been too revolted to comment on that lately. Slime and hatred, and unqualified people really turn me off.

Unless something bad happens in the next week, bye-bye McSame, and Gov. Palin? It was a delight to meet'cha. (Wink) Even if anyone with half a brain immediately recognised you are a cobra.... But what the hell, you got a lot of nice clothes you can recycle and re-tailor in your special place in a living hell, where you aren't 'significant' any more, and can't get people riled up and spew your special brand of hate. What the hell is it with a special brand of American women?

I give up trying to understand, honestly.....

Ach, poor Lazarus, have known him so well... shee-it! A Requiem.

Lazarus is my pc. He is over fifteen years old, and for a pc, well, I guess he is approximately 100. Built just for me.

At the time he was the fastest processor on the market. 366 Megahertz, ooooooo... And a twentyfive megabyte working cache.... ooooooo...

I always took good care of him. He has been my window to the world. When he was younger, he even let me use a web cam, and talk to people. He got his little hiccups, and some illnesses, but he was a brave pc, he really was.

And then he got REALLY ill, went into a coma twice, and died. I thought. But somehow he came back again, limping along..... Lost his voice, but could wink at me and show me things.... He is a humoungous big set, and takes up my 'computer island', as I like to call it.

I am planning to get a lap-top, for a long time now. But I couldn't bring myself to do it, even when he couldn't show a full page of news and the screen froze. And then you have to re-start, and begin again. Despite DSL.

I think I liked Lazarus so much because he fully died on me, and I did first aid on his overblown metal body. And NO, am not Jeebus. He might have helped, but what do I know...

He has lost his voice. And I can't fix that. He is barely functional nowadays. But he is MY Lazarus. Peter made me pay him monthly rates for him, because I didn't have the funds in hand, and I did it and was so pissed off, ok, let's let that slide. But he's been mine.

This morning I tried to turn him on... (by pressing a button, you Hirnies...) And Lazarus began wheezing. And it sounded like heart-asthmna..... errr, errrr, wheeze, achhhh hach, errr.

(Throw up....)

Obviously he got up and running, but there comes a time and you have to let them fucking rest.

He has to hold on till Thursday. And am afraid to turn him off. He is quiet.

On the other hand, if you have a pc that takes care of you over a decade and a half, you got a good one....

I 'thought' this was a nice day..... I did... if odd, but what the hell am a drama queen....

It began at four a.m.

I had an e-mail from an ex-colleague whom I really appreciate, and is funny and smart, and he wanted to go out and talk.

So we did. In a sort of weird place, which has a nice ambience, and you can talk, and the music is sort of jazz but not loud.

He seemed to like it, thank whomever...

And we talked for over four hours.

Of course some of it was about the no-tell HO-tel..

He is going to be a doctor soon. That takes a long time here.

And I was never sure if it was a calling, or just wanting money.

And we got to talking about intimate things, and he told me a story.

Which I cannot divulge. But it brought him about sixteen notches upwards in my estimation and esteem. And it was fairly high already. I wish I could sing his praises further, but.... I promised to be silent.

And he is cultivated, very funny, and boy, does he have heart.

And I wish that one day he will really be happy and find the other side of the coin and marry.

Call me yenta....

Tja, the other side of the coin came fast enough. W. called, the French Foreign Legion Guy. And wanted me to check his translation of a letter to a lady in China. So I moseyed on over, and whaddaya know..... Rudy Doody (as Peter calls him) ripped out all his wires to his fuse box. He used to be the Hausmeister. Used to be. And took me and Peter for such a ride, I can't even BEGIN.... So there was no electric....

It was so crass, I said, WHAAA?

W. was downstairs in the restaurant. I wasn't exactly quiet. Burned me up.

We talked for a very long time. And I said, 'This shit has got to stop, your war with those two.'

They cut off his hot water, they cut off his electricity, he got pummeled several times by the former janitor's wife, and today she kicked him where it hurts a man most.... Good GOD!

And now comes the BEST part. Rudy-Dooody FORBADE him to see me in his room. And Diabetic Peter in the next room wanted to know what the hell I was doing so long in his room.

I am so speechless with these fuckers I could just SPIT!

So I said to W. 'You know what? Next time those fuckers ask what I'm doing up there, tell them you are watching a slide show of all your ladies on the computer, whileI give you a blow job. But you can only say it if you say it was the best you EVER had.... I have to maintain my reputation, after all.'

He fell apart.

And I said, 'Why not? It will drive them fucking crazy. And you still get to be macho.'

After that we calmed down. Rudy Doody can send my blood pressure to unknown heights.

W. has always shown me friendship. When I met him, he said he hated Americans and gays. Swell. So this evening, and we have shared many things over this year, I asked him... 'How the FUCK can you trust me if you hate Americans?' And he said, 'Because you're not....' (speechless....) 'And why do you hate gay people, I never wanted to come on to you.--...?

And he said, 'no, I realise that. People can learn. And you are a nice friend.'

And no, no interest on my part. He is a friend. A neighbor. And had a horrible case of PTSD when I met him this year. I think it has gotten better. He would never look you in the eye.

Ya know... people don't have to be wounded physically to be hurt.... And this year... W. Am glad I had the time and the strength to help, it was more important than my shit.

Am very tired, and going back under the bed. Nite-.......

May I throw up now, please????

How naive can you get, hey....

I normally like Toquedeville's posts. I thought he was somewhat normal....

But that he would get all blue-eyed and weepy about this guy 'leaving the farm'.

Oh, poor baby, and he thinks it has to do with all he is giving up. Oh yes... Am sure he has enough put aside and can lead a comfortable life.

And can ass-kiss his way into the new Obama administration. Doesn't want to be left out of the good 'in-parties' with the finger sandwiches and maybe a fist after....

Let's face it, the Pulitzer Prizes ARE the oligocracy.

Fucking Judith 'Kneepads' Miller got one for her very important role in setting off the Iraq war....

They used to give those prizes for excellence. It became a club.

And the guy studied in Oxford. How deprived.

And the best part???? There isn't ONE single thing in his piece that wasn't clear to 'Joe the Plumber' or 'Joe Six Pack ' on a sober day. (What is it about these Joe guys? I knew some in the biblical sense....)

So hey, what the FUCK are you slobbering over and being all wistful about, dude?

And ok....

May I throw up now?

After being up in my insomniac nights lately, I ran across THIS

Click the title for the link.

And all I could think of was Alexis de Toqueville, who lived about 2oo years ago or so...
L'Amerique? (I hope i spelled that right, my french is iffy... but know the rest)

C'ést l'evolution de la barbarie a la decadence, sans toucher la culture.....

I remember being very insulted when I read that.

But when I read the link above, it came back, and wasn't very happy about it. And no, it doesn't just apply there.

Only right now, it is ugly in the extreme, and this seems to be deliberate, and I hate it.

Am going back to bed....

We had 'fun' today... really...

The first half of the fourth season of Desperate Housewives went on the market.

We said, 'ok, we're just gonna do one episode at a time, and make it last, because the second half only comes out in December.'

You think.... Yesterday we watched three, right off the bat. And the rest of the 10 episodes today. It was very funny, very suspenseful, And then in episode nine, there is a tornado, people die, or get badly hurt, and it was amazing.

The twists and turns in the plot were so good, I couldn't second-guess what was going to happen, and so surprising, I was very pleased.

And no, am not about to give out spoilers.

This is a series which has found its' stride, and keeps you on edge, and makes you laugh, and nearly cry. There is an edge of satire in it, but the truth beneath it is what I could experience...

And yes, am still in love with Marcia Cross...

The fifth season is about to begin here and I won't be able to make any sense out of it because the fucking DISNEY people continue to rip us off.

BUT.... I finally, finally got the last season of a series I have so been wanting to see. Took me two years to find one that plays on our system.... The final season of 'Queer as Folk'. Am so curious as to how they will wrap it up. Controversial? Gawwd! But necessary. They took things so to the edge in that series, it left me speechless.

Am gonna be undercover the next few days, and really appreciate Sharon Gless of Cagney and Lacy... She bowls me over. As to all the eye candy wimps, well would like a Mikey in my life, but gawwd, am so past that I could just throw up.

But it is nice to watch, ok?

So go over to the Desperates, and try to figure out what the hell is going on. It is fun.

As far as I know, this isn't manipulated, and meeaan

via Eschaton, and a site I hadn't seen before.

except I was making the same grimace, if inwardly, watching McSame's creepy performance at the debate last night. CNN brought it this morning for all us sleepy-heads.... With video nowadays, you can catch a second's reaction, and make someone look very bad, true.

But as unfortunate as that was.... I KNOW that reaction... when you can't function, and want to throw up.

So I guess he knew he finally blew it.

Have since learned that that was his idea of a 'joke'. Swell, just what we all need. And says it all....

Am ready for an epilectic FIT!

Which is what my neighbor yells, when his pc doesn't do what he wants it to do.... You have to picture a guy mid-fifties, looks like a skin-head, and his hands start to shake, and he goes nuts. 'And I'm gonna have an epilectic FIT!'' He is cute when he does that.... Can't even swear properly, and the worst he comes out with is 'you Rats and Whores'. Also directed at the screen.

I was about to go out and get a new computer this morning. With help from a former colleague.

And then, Whaaa? I opened the mail box, and oh joy, the pension people finally sent me a 'between report'. Oh joy.

The fucking Amis haven't certified that I worked my ass off in their crumbling cuntry.

TEN years. It is very important, considering I worked eighty fucking hours a week in two positions to be able to afford what I wanted.

Since the powers that be are fucking insane, am going to have to continue with Lazarus until he dies forever.

And am so PISSED OFF, I could spit. Or have an epilectic FIT, the assholes....

Tja, sometimes the cards are so stacked against you, all you can do is just leave the planet.

Da Tee-Vee, and other absurdities.....

The local Telekom talked Peter into getting a 'box'. 65 channels, ooooohhh...

ZDF Theater channel. Ok... Like that one ok...

BBC world news.... ooooo. (Yawn)

BUT...they have the english language version of Al Jazeera. Uh-HUH. And of course I had to take a look, being curious....

Peter didn't notice which channel I had clicked into. And he kept saying, 'Hey, I didn't know that...' It was about tent cities under the highway in New Orleans, and how the developers are pushing people out of Harlem. I'd read about these problems, but no other channel ever brought it live into the living room, you know?

He asked me since when did CNN get serious. And I gave him my dirty grin, and said, 'You're watching Al Jazeera, my friend. Now isn't that interesting...'

'Islamists! Negative!' Oh, he went off the charts....

And I said, 'Hey, so far they haven't shown anything I haven't read about on the Internets, but are never shown on Western news stations. Except the internet sites who discuss these issues are from Americans themselves, so what IS your problem?'

He backs away from that like a spider in front of water.

But I can still trick him. Yesterday he was in the WC, and I switched channels, and there was a very illuminating piece about what goes on with pressure on the journalists who host the presidential debates. A jaw-dropper. And he said, 'Hey, this is interesting, do you think that can be true?' And I said, 'Probably. But you're watching Al Jazeera.'

He went nuclear. I said, 'Listen, facts are facts, it just depends on the slant, and all we get is the one slant, so I see nothing wrong with hearing from the other side. If you know where they are coming from, what the fuck is the problem?'

Yeah, am a nasty grouch. But I sorta like Al Jazeera so far... Na ja, 'like'.... not. But they put out things the others aren't showing and that you read about.... They add some balance....

If he were younger, he would probably want to sue the Telekom for exposing him to that. Or having it in their offer. All he has to do is switch channels, but OH, I forgot... He only knows how to turn it on and off. Gimme a break, hey.....

At least I had me some 'fun'. And it was interesting.

Congratulations Prof. Dr. Paul Krugman. Nobel Prize!

for Economnics.

Well deserved, for those who were following.

I 'discovered' him on the internets about eighteen months ago. And got a crash course on econimics via a streaming video. A long one that opened my eyes to what was coming.

(Economics 'used' to be taught in schools in the US, but they dropped it as subject just before I reached that level. Wonder why.... huh, better you don't know that you're getting taken for a ride with the guy who offered you candy to get into his car...)

Whatever, I was startled at the lucidity and comprehensiveness of his lecture. And it was dire eighteen months ago.

The other thing that came across was his basic shyness, and an underlying sense of humour that was charming.

He certainly seems to have a grip on how things work, and is not afraid to be critical.

In his quiet way.....

I didn't think an American would get this this year.... but he more than deserves it and seems to do much to educate people via the internet.

Oh yes, well-deserved.

And congratulations again!

A loss? Some might think so....

Peter woke me up this morning to tell me that right radical Jörg Haider died in a traffic accident last night.

Being just out of bed, I said, 'Ok, the press has been full of stories about him driving reclessly and too fast. So are the splinter parties going to unite and kill us all?'

If you take Anne Coulter, Sarah Palin, the Holocaust deniers and everyone else to the waaaaay right, that was Jörg Haider, the rat catcher.

The only Austrian politician to scare half the world with his rhetoric.

Am sorry he died unexpectedly, but what the hell, am not happy either.

What bugged me was the local reporting. OOOOOOH, we lost a great politician, from the very people who went bonkers over his statements. Crocodile tears, but the Austrians love nothing like a 'schöne Leich'' a good wake. And of COURSE the bishop of the state of Klagenfurt is going to give him a great send-off..... to hell, I hope....

The German news kept it proper. 'Right wing populist politician Jörg Haider died in a car accident last night'. That is correct reporting. And they gave some clips of his most outrageous statements.

Meanwhile, the reporting in the local stations has become more balanced.

And somehow.... I fell a bit relieved and guilty for feeling like that. But I really didn't like him at all, and can't find anything to do so...

Scary advertising, creepy day

For a few days now, there is this ad running on the private stations in Germany. You contact this company, and they send you an envelope, and you put in your gold teeth fillings, and old rings and such, and they send money to your private account. And all in a matter of fact tone. It FREAKS me. And shocks me, and makes me very angry, because there are a lot of old associations with gold tooth fillings here... If it were a Mel Brooks send-up, I would probably laugh...

But it is dead serious, and just goes to show where greed and fear of losing what you have can take you to some extreme....

Otherwise, got good news and bad news today. Was at my otometrist's. Because of my cataract. I only went because I keep tripping and falling down when the light isn't good, like at twilight. And can't distinguish between similar shades of colors, and then trip. She said my spatial vision is good, and I don't need stronger lenses, thank whomever.... BUT.... (There is always a 'but') she asked about my blood pressure, and I said it is high but am taking something for it. Only I didn't for the last six weeks. And said all the blood vessels in there are too constricted.

So I got drops and a repeat command performance in the afternoon. For some reason....

Is it still too late to cancel this year before it is too late?

Debates....

Watched yesterday's this morning on the geek channel.

Peter was thrilld. The live broadcasts are at three in the morning here but they get repeated. They have excellent translations.

And SINCE we have had to listen all week to every fucking channel going nuts over the breakdown of the world finance system thanks to the fuckers on Wall Street who took risks that were so insane that even Otto Normalverbraucher could see it coming.

'Bail me OUT, hey'

They are all good at that , and it is going viral and world-wide.

I am glad I do not have much saved, at this point, or invested.

My neighbor has only two terms of lifying people. 'Rats' and 'Whores'.

But whatever, yes. I think Barry could do it and turn it around.

McSame? He is the lyingist, worst candidate I have ever seen. And the Cobra? Please, please put her on an ice floe and send her out to sea....

Ok, ok... not gonna hyerventilate here... but dammit!

Yes, I was at the pension place yesterday... Early in the morning. I didn't get past the reception guy. 'You haven't applied yet'.

NO, they have to get all my data from the US, and I asked for this in February, and it's October, in case you haven't NOTICED. WHY?

'Your papers are in the 'Prüfsetelle', which means they are checking the veracity of the data they got. Well fuckit to hell, hey.... And oh yes, he said I would hear from them in the next two weeks. And if I didn't, I could call the number of thge perosn working on my 'case'.. Uh-huh...

When I said it wouldn't be any trouble to drop by personally, he said, 'Not necessary. Call.'

Now THAT is Kafka.

Whereupon I had to go to the unemployment place. Command performance, don't you know... The first question was about my dealings with the pension place so I explained, and explaained and explained....

Now tha is crass

It was a bureaucratic nightmare.

I still have a lot to do this year. I hope something will be ok.

I wanted to cancel it from the get-go.....

Tomorrow is the day I'm going to rip some ass...

I have to be at the unemployment place. I am not happy about this. I am going to the pension people beforehand, and light some verbal fire-crackers under their collective apathetic asses.

And then I am going to demand some accountability here.

I am fucking disgusted, and worse, BORED.

Why don't I just keep my big mouth SHUT, hey....

I just came in, and my neigbour was too, and he was limping. And I said, 'What the hell happened to YOU?' He said he had a cyst and pointed vaguely to his backside.

And his doctor had given him a salve for it.

And yours truly immediately went into caretaker mode.

Because I thought, 'oh gawwd., early twenties, he had a twin....'

I once had a twin. And got up one day and was in real pain. What happens is that you start out as twins, and then the other starts to deriorate, and gets absorbed in the base of your spine. And when you get to be in your early twenties, the little barstards want to get revenge, and kill you. (The Revenge of the Sibs) Some doctors will tell you it is a 'cyst'. Others tell you the truth. From what I have read, they will find hairs or even a milk tooth in what they cut out of you.

My doctor was truthful.

I found that more creepy than any horror film I had ever seen. 'Fratricide in the Uterus!' SEE the foetus absorb his sib into his spine!' (That is a paraphrase of 50's movie advertising, btw, SEE....) Got your panties in a twist...

Whatever, I knew three other people at the time, and we all had.... the operation... oooh. All the same age.... and spent weeks going to Uni classes with donut cuschions in pillow-cases. Any longer and we would have become a club. The fratricide gang... Sarah Palin would have a field day with that. Prison for life for not letting your sib develop. And yes, she is that crazy.

Whatever, it all came back in a flash, and I blurted out, 'are you sure you don't have a twin?' Of course he was taken aback and thought I was crazy.... And I really didn't want to get into it.

But will bet you ten to one... there is a twin in there, and angry.

But shut up. I keep meaning well, and get into trouble, so ..... nope.

Sigh..... why the FUCK do I do things like that?

Let's get this STRAIGHT....

Somehow I have managed to irritate two nonagenarians this week with my view of things....

Oh no, I didn't mean to.

But I did, I'm afraid...

And regret that. It was about the post I laid down about my brother, marginally, and Peter's newest weird obsession, and so on. But it was honest.

So for whomever it may concern.... I got a call from my neighbor this afternoon, the French Foreign Legion guy. He had trouble with the translation program I found for him, could I help.

Hey, I always help....

Whatever, he had done two letters to a lady, but she didn't understand what the hell he was talking about. Because he wrote it in casual German, and the program doesn't fucking understand that and messed it up completely.

If I didn't know any better, he would be an American. Either the tee-vee is running, or he has cool music running in the background, and it really impairs my concentration.

This guy HATES Americans. He would KILL any guy who would come on to him sexually. KILL them. And he is one strong mo-fo.... Somehow, he rescinded the rules, and likes me..... for whatever reason....

Over the year, we feel comfortable, and I showed him a lot of stuff to keep his pc fit.

So I am up there today, and correcting his letters to make some sense so he could re-send them.

I can talk to him about anything at all. Really. And he never bats an eye. Whatever, I asked him what in the world he meant in one sentence, and he explained, and said, 'I don't write well...' And I said, 'Are you fucking JOKING???!!! If anyone wrote to ME like that, I would be on the
next plane to ANYWHERE, so give me a break, hey!'

He absolutely cracked up. 'Sorry, guy, but NO WAY!'

''Why do you think it is about you? Gawwd!'

'You are SOOO twisted....'

'Yup.... Now what did you really want to say?'

He farted.

'I've told you and told you.... stop misusing my fucking NAME!'

(He lives on onions and potaotes and red beans, crazy. But he keeps the window open....)

What I am trying to impart is this.... communication doesn't have to be complicated.

Or censored, because, OH gawwd... 'he's gay'

Over the course of the evening, he thanked me several times for helping him, and being a friend, and being 'fun'.

Ok, so I have a twisted sense of humour.....

And NO, it isn't about wanting anything from him. Eeeew. Nope. No way....

But we can talk about everything in the world. And about personal stuff, and he can tell me about his 'conquests', and I can pour my heart out.

You know, the ballsy, arm-punching things 'guys' do. Jock-like. I was always the wimp. So it is nice in a way. Now I know what that is like.

It is a totally OTHER thing when you talk to someone and they look at you out of the corner of their eyes and look like Bambi caught in the headlights, and you immediately shut up.

So have we got this STRAIGHT now?

A real guy isn't AFRAID of a gay guy. Because he knows who he is.

Well dammit to hell, and sumenabittch, hey....

Was very tired yesterday, and more than depressed. Peter did a wheelie trying to get out of the wc, and fell over backwards, for starters, and no he didn't hurt himself, but got a good scare.... Luckily, the neighbor across the hall heard him, and got him back into the wheelchair.

Later, I had to answer a difficult e-mail from his Aunt Charlotte. Came up with a connex, and did a blog entry .... HERE I thought. And it landed on Joanna's blog, because I didn't notice that the Dashboard on Blogger had switched the order of the blogs I can write on. My developing cataract isn't helping me any either.

So was rather dismayed when I got a mail regarding a post on her Blog.......

It was way too light-weight for that one.

Whatever, click on the title, and it will take you over there. 'To Normand, My brother, whom I slept with'.---- And before you go off the charts, it is a paraphrase of the title of Bill Cosby's first comedy album, an LP. (Remember those?) Harmless, but for me, the funniest thing he ever did.

But the post isn't funny...

Banks again... and why do sewer covers hate me?

Today's news brought the government takeover of Fortis in the Netherlands. The B and B bank in Britain, and a real estate bank in Germany who had scooped up a subsiduary bank deeply involved in the mortgage deals in America, so they became more or less insolvent.

Investment people all, and hey, they didn't see it coming, you know... Bail me out, bail me out, heeellllp!!!! Well fuck them!

If I had any money, I would withdraw and put it in the mattress....

Herrgottnochmal, anyone who had any idea would have taken measures THREE YEARS AGO, the smart bloggers were out there screaming their keyboards off. But greed is fun, seemingly.

And we get to pay for it, the small taxpayers. Well, that is just dandy...

As to sewer covers... Why do they put them a centimeter above the pavement? Am developing a cataract in my right eye, and can not distinguish shades of grey or white in the dark. And I went out to get a sandwich at the turkish place across the street last night, at twilight. And moved aside to let an African go by, caught my foot on a sewer cover, and went crashing to the sidewalk. Because I didn't see it. Again. Just scraped my knee. I think it is time to see my eye doctor, this is getting ridiculous.

And just for the record.... I have alway been clumsy. And tripped over things that weren't there to people of normal perception, but I didn't fall down. It's been a running joke for decades... 'Just call me 'grace'..' But those sewer covers... Summunabitch....

Election results... Ouch...

The Christian Socialists in Germany lost their majority rule for the first time in 45 years. That was fairly 'heavy'. They had an internal split in the party, gave the main jobs to two oldies instead of one, and tanked. I kept telling Peter, 'my gawwd, Statler and Waldorf on the Muppet Show!... But no, he told me I was being bösartig, which means sarcastic and mean.... He isn't conservative, but I can still shock him-- (smile)

But most of the runaways went to splinter parties, and it looks a right mess...


Our national elections brought surprises as well. The conservative Xtrians bleld. As well they should have. The socialists lost points as well. People ran away to splinter parties. What is frightening is that 30 per cent of the voters voted for the two way-right parties, the hate mongerers, the ones who stir up dangerously horrible ideology. And those two parties were once one, but they split, thank whomever.... But they are dangerous.

They concentrated on making people fearful, and even more xenophobic than they were before. With a nationalist conciousness. One of them, the guy with the funny blue eyes, said HE wants to be chancellor, as his party is the third strongest, and he thinks it is possible, because the DWARF, Chancellor Schüssel did it from the third best postion after the elections. God, or whomever help us.

I just can't figure it out. But if you get starved enough, and every week your grocery bills increase so that you even REALISE you are getting ripped off, you get angry. Very angry. Add a bit of anger about immigrants, and you get a very dangerous mix. To quasi-quote a couple of people on a main-line newspater today, they want to pack their suitcases and get the fuck out of here.

That there are other options seemingly doesn't occur to them. And then they get dangerous.

Israel has already said they want to cut off diplomatic connections with us if one of the right-wing parties get into the government... There is the historical context to consider, and believe me, they never let up. Which is sometimes good, but sometimes they are paranoid.

Oh it's tons of fun....

Not.

We lost a real Democrat... Paul Newmann

But I only saw him once, up close and personal. He was standing at the bus stop in front of the bank next door. And I thought, no, cannot be... 'Why the hell would Paul Newman be waiting for a BUS, hey..

But it was. Paul Newman standing at the bus stop. As far as I know, he was doing something for the democratic party. He was always quiet about what he did. But I think he did a lot....

Those eyes, and the kindness inside. And people across a four lane street stated yelling, 'LUKE! LUKE! LUKE!' But didn't mob or bother him. (His last hit had played there, Cool Hand Luke.)

People in NH are sort of reticent when it comes to celebriuties But I saw the face, and looked into those wonderful eyes....

And he was wonderful. What a loss.....

Oh yeah, he wasn't waiting for a bus, by the way. this big limo came up and took him in and Joanne Woodward was in it.

Sad. So who is gonna be third?

Life SUCKS.

Uh HUH... Elections here and there...

We got to watch the undiluted full debate from last night this morning.

McSame came across as your usual Rethug bitch. Oooo.... testy... prickly, and so many references to 'Hey I was IN a war', it sounded like he liked it or something. Maybe he's a masochist. But his record doesn't show him helping soldiers now, oh no, on the contrary...

He was condescending in his words, and the smirk.... I will bet you five dollars he got a two-day crash course in learning that from Dumbya, a ten-thousand dollar one over a weekend, with Jeff Gannon as coach.

Arrogance. Just arrogance.

Barry was ok. He got his approach across. He remained unruffled. His ideas don't knock my socks off, but he was good.

Someone on Daily Kos went into nirvana that he was prepared for McSame's 'showing off the armband thing' 'Don't let my son have died in vain', and Obama showed HIS armband, and said the woman told him, 'Don't let any mother go what I am going through.' Tja, good counterpunch.

So I guess they know what they are doing, and McSame is going to tank..... (i hope, i hope, i hope...)

Tomorrow, we have national elections where I live. Last time, the state elections, I had some fun with the campaign posters on my blog.... This time they are so boring, you just pass by, and they are out there on the square....

Picture a lot of old men's faces with empty bubbles pointing to their mouths. As in comic books.

Vote for this guy, he's presentable. He doesn't have any IDEAS, but hey, he's cute. (The Socialists. They forgot to tell us he has a nerd voice like MacSame's, but what the hell.) I'm reliable. (the Greens.) The Conservatrive Christians are going to win. They presented clear concepts, ideas which speak to the general public, and they are right on target. No one else seems to HAVE ideas. Just a face, a good one, and you are supposed to vote for them.

I would REALLY like to meet the person in charge of the Socialist's ad campaign. And destroy him or her forever. If I didn't know any better, I would be screaming 'Sabotage!' at the moment, and get really REALLY grouchy and a bit verbally violent.... A bitch slap for stupidity wouldn't be bad either. FIRE that person for incompetence! Just sayin'... Or don't any of you have any ideas any more??????

The other parties are right radical. 'Oh, we gotta 'protect' our fucking 'homeland' and Austrians first. Uh-Huh. And I keep wondering: 'from WHOM?' No one ever thereatens me....

So yes, tomorrow I go and vote. Oh joy.... My X doesn't go to any of the above.
'Nuff said.....

And did I mention that the party that will win had blocked unions between people of the same sex, and refused to give them equal rights? And trhat the EU is gonna come down on them sometime, and MAKE them recognise that? I might live to see it...

Inform yourselves, make your decisions, and make your x'es. Voting is important, and a duty, and a privilege.

I lost someone very dear to me this week...

An 'uncle' who wasn't blood uncle. Who taught me so much about music while he was going stone deaf. And who gave me so much....

Adrian. Wherever you are.... Thank you. Thank you so much.

I so wish you could hear agan.... wherever you are...

Ren....

The Telephone Again....

rang at close to 11 pm. Of course I thought it was an emergency.....

But no, it was something nice... Alex in California..... Oh my......

I've only seen him personally three times in my life. I was very close friends with his late lover, Mark, and he passed on long ago, was like a younger brother for me. I was the first person he called when Mark died, holding him dead on the couch, and telling me he was gone.

But Alex never let the connection fade away. He calls once or twice a year. And there was his voice tonight, all over me like hot soup, and the caring, and the concern.... Alex is a very special man. And of course, it was 'can I help you? Can I do this, can I do that?'

Spontaneous, caring, yup, that is Alex. And he can be bat-shit crazy in a good way, as I learned when we all spent a week in Vienna. We had a good chat on the phone. It sort of cancelled the other one for the moment.

So isn't it odd, hey... You meet someone only three times in your life, and the connection remains strong, and the friendship is 'there', and all you need is to hear that voice, and it makes you feel better despite all the shit going on in your life. And he has a very good sense of perception. 'Hey, Ren, you're a people person, get out of the house.'

So I think I can go back to sleep now....

Some things can be providential, you know?

And Alex, wherever you are right now.... thank you.

Relations and relationships.... AAAAARRRGGGH!

Yes, am slightly hysterical. You would be as well.

I got woken out of a sound sleep per handy and my normal telephone.

The Handy stuff was shit. The normal telephone was Peter, and he sent me into regions I never thought I would reach.

He found his paternal grandparents. Good gaaawd, hey. They are over ninety!

Now that is a lonnng story, Peter and his paternal side. His father was a concert pianist, and got sent to entertain the troops during the invasion in Poland before he was born. And died in a traffic accident. His parents were basically snobs, and never ever wanted to have anything to do with their grandson, because his mother wosn't in the right 'caste'. He so often tried to contact his paternal side of the family, and they denied him everything. Didn't want to know who he was, really....

They had a daughter, his aunt he never knew, and she left her stuff to him. In the Eighties, as an apology of sorts. It was a good sum, and he stupidly misinvested it and lost it all. On the stock market. Sound familiar?

And now he has the chuzpe to contact his grandparents, and want his 25% of his father's inheritance.

I could fucking spit BLOOD, right now.

I do not want to know what goes on in that insulin damaged brain of his.

I KNOW what is like to be rejected by family members.

But to hit on nonagenarians like that is really disgusting.

I have my animosities, but nothing would ever bring me to that.

I'd rather starve in the street.

Al Bundy and Co....

Two days ago I was crossing the square, and someone behind me referred to a local person as 'your typical Al Bundy.'

Upon which I shuddered inwardly.

And then remembered, my father enjoys watching 'Two and a half Men', and was doubtful it was on the programming here....

And yes, have seen a couple of episodes, but it loses in the translation. The series are always dubbed.

The first time I saw 'Married With Children' was a year before the Berlin Wall fell. Was visiting there, and it was running on the Air Force AFN network. My friend said, 'You have GOT to see this!' I was horrified.

'Married With Children' went into German programming, and was and is still a hit. The German title is 'A Terribly Nice Family'. And they repeat all seven seasons Over and Over and Over, and I am not always sure what that does for the perceptions of what people here think the average US family is like, you know? When Peter first saw the series, he kept asking me, 'are they really LIKE that????' (This after having met many of my family and friends.... ouch.) And I would snap at him: 'It's SATIRE, Peter, SATIRE! And leave me alone.'

He gets it now during it's n'th re-run.

'Roseanne' is another series that some people seemingly can't get enough of. I found it wonderful. Peter hates it. She is too fat, and vulgar. He said. But he laughs. I think it was a series that was all of one piece, about a normal, struggling family, with some hilarious stuff in it. It wass daring in its' themes, it reeked of truth, and was wonderful. They told it like it is, if you are trying to struggle from the lower middle class. I could identify. The final season puzzled me, but the last episode was so wonderful, tying up all the story lines, and that last camera shot brought me to tears. It runs and runs and runs.

Malcolm in the Middle is another hit. But so crazy.

'The King of Queens' is Peter's favorite. I don't get it. He thinks Kevin James is hilarious. (Whaaa?) Also running forever.

And then there is 'The Nanny'. Running longer than any of them. The day I realised that the grandmother was Carol Channing, I nearly fell out of my chair for shock.

'Home Improvement' is a staple. Bill Cosby is a staple.

Not to worry, we get a lot of other series also, but just once.

The ones above have been running for nearly a decade.

They are the staples, and people seem to want to see them over and over and OVER.

And 'Al Bundy' becomes a code word for a terrible American?

That one hurt.

Most people do not UNDERSTAND satire... This I know for sure.

But the fact is... most Americans are sort of boring. Most. Not all. The 'majority' abhor 'culture', for instance. They think it is faggy. Or something. Oh well, do not want to get off on a rant.

What I am trying to impart is: I think that the success of these series have contributed to a very distorted view of what America is like, because they have no reference to what it is really about. Oh, they are not so stupid, but if you rinse and repeat, it leaves a lasting impression.

All in all, I can't do anything about it. But the effect doesn't make me happy when all it leads to is a distorted view of what Americans are like.

So the US send us distorted versions of how we perceive them and that is not goood.

It bothers me muchly....

Chuzpe...

Is when you kill your parents, and then plead for understanding in a court because you are an orphan... I'm not sure who said that, it was a long time ago. A stand-up comic, but we call htem Kabaratisten.

That word has fallen with regard to the US over here today, and very strongly...

Ok, not that word, but 'arrogance', and 'who the fuck do they think they are???!!!'

I couldn't find the right links, because this was two days ago, I broke a molar, and was in pain, and can't find the links.

They want US to help pay off the debts that incompetent Wall Street brokers incurred. And the terrible Angela Merkel, you know, the chancellor of Germany, the one who got a surprise massage from Dumbya, she read the riot act. NO WAY.... She is pissed off at the US and Britain as well.

But that tone went right through all the ranks in the media as well.

WHERE, please, do WE get off, paying for the greed and stupidity of US investors, and get threats if we do not?

That is pure Dumbya, spreading animosity world-wide, the ass....

If I had opened a store or whatever, and tanked it, I would have been on my own....

And very badly off, but then, I shouldn't have done that, right?

These people take other people's money, tank, and walk away with their 'profits'.... scott free.

Chuzpe.

Sometimes I get really disgusted....

Grafitto

Saw this this morning on the way into town. The ears are eyes. 'nuff said.

The dumbest bank in Germany....

I know, I haven't been vocal about the events of this past week, but am fairly speechless, even though Duncan Black has been warning about this for years. (Eschaton.) But Friday a week ago, the news was in a panic, Lehmann brothers were gonna go down the tubes. So what did one German Bank do? They had a 330 million Euro loan set to go to Lehmann brothers on the following, (last) Monday, didn't stay on the news, and it got sent down the tubes. The papers are rabid, it is taxpayer's money that run the bank.... Only it turned out to be 536 million Euros. Go figure... Dumb? Oh yes.... Two CEO's got suspended. Not fired. Suspended. Now go figure....

The photo is of an 'installation' in front of a museum here. Which means that the post-modern arts festival is about to begin, but I thought it fit.....

Well, who would have thought we are heading for a world-wide depression....

What fun.

Whee...

So where is all these Billions of dollars to save the rich coming from, I wish to ask....

I don't understand SHIT about world economics, because the US conveniently removed that from the curriculum when I got to school in the Fifties. Because the Russians were gonna invade and put our parents into internment camps, and 're-educate' them. Uh-huh. I later found the source she had.... Reader's Digest. And of course we LOVED it. Boring topic? 'Hey, tell us about the Russians....'

I have a cousin who went to a private school, and economics was on the schedule.

I tried to educate myself later. I did. I still don't understand it.

You trust some stranger to put your hard-earned money or inheritance into some sort of 'investment' with a chance of a quick gain, and then you get 'OOPsie Made a mistake, and you don't get doodly squat, because I am ollly olly home free...' Right. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Well, have been there.

Not myself, but close enough to home.

If people are so light-headed as to trust their money to people they do not know, and expect a fortune, well, darlin's, I can just as well go to the local casino, and play red-black all night. At least I get a fifty-fifty chance. Which I do not do either.

Es ist ein abgekartetes Spiel. Which means the cards are stacked against you...

I really do not know why people DO things like that with their money.

And the skeery thing about it? The local news stations carry advertising which come down to 'invest, invest, INVEST'. Right. Throw good money after bad....

All in all, fairly creepy. Thanks to Dumbya, and McCain, who rescinded oversight, but hey, he got himself a super-rich if drug-addled wife.

Isn't life just grand... I hope they lose 11 of their 12 houses so that he has to LOOK at her every day...

Fashion contrasts....

Sunday was fun.... more or less... I had overlooked the fact that there was a big party in town. I had thought it was next weekend....

When I first arrived here, people, about forty per cent at my estimate, used to dress up in national tradtional clothes every day. That disappeared in the 80's. So now, there is one day a year when everyone dresses in traditional clothing, and get rowdy downtown. No, the kayaks have nothing to do with it. They were out in bad weather, showing off.


















The couple on the stage were part of a fashion show and just celebrated their 20th anniversary. The rest was sort of odd. Especially if you aren't dressed like everyone else.... And then it rained, so I went home and didnt party...

Oh... I got invited upstairs... to the attic...

My neighbors set up a studio there, you see, to practice. And am cool with it...

So I sot asked to sit in on a jam session this evening. I learned that what you see isn't always what is...

The kids are amazing. What they are trying to do is so different from anything I have heard, it is odd, but I like it.

The guy with the guitar is a profi.

Whatever....

Life is a roller-coaster... Not always so much fun, however....

And now that the photos are up... well now you know why there are days when I feel Very very ooooollllld....

I AM... in absolute Grinch mode, so just scroll on by

Nope, not politics. Nope, Not PTS... (post testosterone syndrome with the estrogens taking over...) Just fucking grouchy.

It didn't get light today. As in sunshine. We don't GET that before November....

I woke up at nine am and thought it was nine p.m. the night before.... and was tired and cranky.

My left foot hurts. I twisted it badly in June, and it still hurts. My doctor wants to send me to have it x-rayed. Ohhh, terrific idea. It is the bloody TENDONS, I roller-skated and KNOW. BUT.... if you have to get a 106 Kilo person out of and into a wheelchair once or twice a week and have to be as klutzy as I am, you put the weight on the bad foot where it doesn't belong, and it 'insults' the injury. Oh yes, Preciousses...

So I go ballistic. I 'know' my body, and don't make nasty jokes....

But no, that is not why I am a grouch. I can take a lot of abuse... No, the Germans sent me off the charts for, 'Whaaaa!????' I worked there three months, and it would add to the time for getting a pension, and what do they DO???? First I get a form to fill out, ok. THEN they want to know about my education, because it could go against )))Paragraph 58[[[ whatever THAT is...

I haven't heard one thing from the pension people.

And THEN, I got a letter from the local income tax ministry, saying that my income last year was unclear, and gave me a multiple choice for reasons. I worked for more than one company, was in the army, got extra revenues from being ill, etc. And no 'none of the above' box. And a form to fill out.

WHAAAAA?

Of COURSE the fucking Amis haven't confirmed the ten years I worked there.. yet... I only applied in March...

And I can get some financial help for my rent. But I have to have a valid passport, and mine isn't so I began that fucking journey to nowhere....

Peter has finally gotten the go on an appartment with a ramp up to it, but the bath and wc need to be adjusted. So he needs three estimates from three different firms for them to decide who does it.

WHY the fuck do I want to rip the rest of my hair out of my head and be a skin, huh?

And my neighbor just called and wants me to show him something about his pc.

Can anybody fucking scream for me?

Insane, am going insane, hanging in the air with no safety net.

We are in the middle of a thunderstorm.... so Unnatural Disasters...

Not your bang-crash one with hail. Just a thunderstorm. Jack and Joe came out of the rain into the stairwell, but are out again...

But I logged in top the nets to see what Ike is doing. The AP was so sappy, I would have like to slap the person who wrote it.

Unnatural weather conditions. I guess no one likes to feel helpless when mother nature decides to be mean.... Especially when you don't read the signs right, and are naive....

I saw one hurricane, it was still between Cat 1 and 2 when it hit in the late Fifties..... But it sufficed to make me wary forever... First the wind went one way, then it got deadly still, and bingo, it was windy in the other direction, and destroyed drees that the first stage didn't.

Later, in the Seventies, I was busy opening up a drive-in movie place, big one. Checking the speakers. And the light went 'funny'. Yellowish. And this little wind came up, and all of a sudden, I saw these little swirls out of the dirt, forming tiny funnels. It was creepy. And then I looked to the right in the west, and there was a freaking tornado moving south. It didn't do much damage other than to the woods outside of the city. And it was in an area..... well we NEVER got tornadoes....

Have experienced three light earthquakes. The first was in Venice. I was in the Doge's Palace, and the floor started vibrating. As in 'scarily vibrating'. And I thought, 'wow, this place isnt as solid as it looks!' Next day? I learned a new word: Terramoto. Earthquake. Later was on vacation in Salerno, alone, and my hotel was a block from the beach. I wanted to cross the street and prominade on the prominade. And nearly lost my balance, and almost fell down. And I thought, what the FUCK???? Next day, the papers. Terramoto. Tja., swell. A week later they got a big one. Wrecked the town. The third, was where I live. There is a fault a mountain chain away. And Peter's late best friend was living up on the 11th floor of an appartment building, and called us, saying, did you GET that? His chandelier was of the charts for swinging... We didn't notice, being one half-flight up.

So what shall I say? I HATE weather. And I DO NOT like SURPRISES.

Yes, you can WISH for peace and harmony, and all that.... but WEATHER and geographical conditions can kill you every time. If you don't watch out....

So for my friend who gets irritated if I go off the charts when things 'happen', I have been there in mini versions, and do not need the maxi's. And if I see DANGER to people I love, It upsets me...